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Imagine four balls on the edge of a cliff. Say a direct copy of the ball nearest the cliff is sent to the back of the line of balls and takes the place of the first ball. The formerly first ball becomes the second, the second becomes the third, and the fourth falls off the cliff. Time works the same way.
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Oct 23, 2018 06:22
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 15:00 |
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CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:Imagine four balls on the edge of a cliff. Say a direct copy of the ball nearest the cliff is sent to the back of the line of balls and takes the place of the first ball. The formerly first ball becomes the second, the second becomes the third, and the fourth falls off the cliff. This. It's this.
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Oct 23, 2018 06:26
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said the master, "one cannot bust, without krust"
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Oct 23, 2018 07:51
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"Buddha preached for forty-nine years, but his tongue never moved," the master Gensha said: "Pious teachers say that Buddhism helps us in every possible way, but think: how can it help the blind, the deaf, or the dumb? The blind cannot see the teacher's staff that is raised before them. The deaf cannot hear the teacher's words, no matter how wise. The dumb cannot ask their questions or speak their understanding. So since we cannot help these people, how can we say Buddhism helps in every possible way? What good is it?" Many years later a monk asked the master Ummon to explain these words of Gensha. After making the questioner prostrate himself and then rise, Ummon swiped at him with his staff. The monk jumped back. "Ah-ha!" said Ummon, "I see you are not blind!" Then he told the monk to come forward, which he did. "Ah-ha!" said Ummon, "I see you are not deaf!" Then he asked the monk if he understood what all this to-do was about. The monk said he did not. "It means call the police on Granos," said Ummon.
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Oct 23, 2018 08:31
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goddamnit.
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Oct 23, 2018 08:35
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My butt itches.
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Oct 23, 2018 09:09
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Devils Affricate posted:The man who does not post for fear of probation, has already banned himself That sounds more like a Something Awful Confucius quote than a something awful koan. IIRC, koans are all about the non-duality of subject and object in general and about the non-duality of the koan and the person trying to "crack" the koan in particular. I could be misremembering though.
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Oct 23, 2018 09:13
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The Dennis System posted:That sounds more like a Something Awful Confucius quote than a something awful koan. IIRC, koans are all about the non-duality of subject and object in general and about the non-duality of the koan and the person trying to "crack" the koan in particular. I could be misremembering though. I wish one of these koans would jerk me already
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Oct 23, 2018 09:16
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If you see the Buddha on the road and he asks you if you have stairs in your house, kill the Buddha.
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Oct 23, 2018 09:16
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A student once asked the master niggerstomper58 how was he able to gain such deep understanding of FYAD. "I have prodromal schizophrenia", said the master.
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Oct 23, 2018 09:53
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"Master," the young novice said, "your posting is so wise and powerful. How may I train myself so as to become as strong as you?" The master open-palm slapped the novice on the head and spake "every day as soon as you rise, you must imagine, deep in your mind, an image of the living Buddha, as detailed and lifelike as you know him to be from your years of study. Follow along with this living apparition of the Enlightened One, mimicking his sublime movements, making whooshing noises as he frees himself from desire, even if you mess up the words of the sutras in your heart. Not many can say they have walked the eight-fold path. I can. I speak thus, even unto the other monks in this sangha and all they do is prove yet how far even our esteemed bhikkus have to walk upon this road. I've leaned all the sutras and I've learned true compassion by shouting them all. Two hours including meditation every mornING."
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Oct 23, 2018 10:35
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Devils Affricate posted:Fear not the goon who has made 10,000 posts once, but the goon who has made one post 10,000 times I’m gay
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Oct 23, 2018 11:04
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Devils Affricate posted:The man who does not post for fear of probation, has already banned himself Legit wisdom
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Oct 23, 2018 11:35
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A father and a son were walking along a busy street when they passed a temple and noticed Zen Master Unmon prostrate on the ground, deep in prayer. The son asked his father what the master might be doing. "He is praying to his moon god", his father replied. Annoyed, the master rose and asked, "Moon god?"
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Oct 23, 2018 11:53
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One day as Manjusri stood outside the thread, the Buddha called to him, “Manjusri, Manjusri, why do you not post?” Manjusri replied, “I do not see myself as lurking. Why post?”
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Oct 23, 2018 11:58
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Lust for gold leads to folly.
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Oct 23, 2018 12:47
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Grevling posted:One day as Manjusri stood outside the thread, the Buddha called to him, “Manjusri, Manjusri, why do you not post?” This is good. 
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Oct 23, 2018 12:49
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The Piss Tape is Real
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Oct 23, 2018 12:53
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spinderella posted:Lust for gold leads to folly. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum
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Oct 23, 2018 13:10
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Murray Mantoinette posted:"Master," the young novice said, "your posting is so wise and powerful. How may I train myself so as to become as strong as you?" I love this.
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Oct 23, 2018 13:29
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He who turns on his monitor, loses himself.
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Oct 23, 2018 13:34
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Stark Fist posted:The novice monk remarked, "The circus is in town," This works on every level and I applaud it.
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Oct 23, 2018 14:35
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an acolyte went to a monk carrying two mangosteens as an offering to Buddha the monk said, i must make sure these fruits are worthy of sacrifice, so he ate them both.
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Oct 23, 2018 14:38
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If you meet the OP, kill him. Doobie and Tasha, from Reform Alabama, had a hot dog bunker. Their venthood was causing problems but Doobie cooked them dogs still for all and sundry (no gays though). Tasha happened to look on Facebook one day and was greatly perplexed. Seeing a one star review she asked the user why she only gave them 1 star. When the former customer replied, Tasha asked: "How come you only gave one star?" "This is natural," explained customer. "Everything was cold." Tasha, using enlightened thinking, added: "Coleslaw is cold lol, u are banned from our restaurant. U complain everywhere u go...."
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Oct 23, 2018 14:42
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Murray Mantoinette posted:"Master," the young novice said, "your posting is so wise and powerful. How may I train myself so as to become as strong as you?" more like a lmboan
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Oct 23, 2018 14:45
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Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection. "Come on, girl" said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We goons don't go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?" "I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her printer?"
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Oct 23, 2018 14:47
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Devils Affricate posted:The man who does not post for fear of probation, has already banned himself *Keanu Reeves voice* woah
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Oct 23, 2018 14:55
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If my father should prefer the company of men, who shall take exception?
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Oct 23, 2018 15:07
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If you should meat the krust in the street, bust him
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Oct 23, 2018 15:11
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(reposted from this thread) A young traveler consulted with an old master. "What is the secret to everlasting happiness?" The master responded, "Go to the summit of the mountain. Retrieve what you find and bring it here, and you will have your answer." The young traveler spent the next three days scaling the mountain. Athletic and worldly as he was, by the time he reached the top he felt almost completely drained of his energy. All he found at the summit was a simple hut, and inside, a small black wooden box sealed with a lock. Another three days later, he made it back to the old master. The master removed the lock with a key hanging on a string around his neck. Inside lay two really fat blunts. The old master took one and lit it, and gestured to the young traveler. "Help yourself my dude." The traveler replied, "Lmao," and was enlightened.
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Oct 23, 2018 16:37
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A frustrated student, weary of study and losing the path approached his master and and stated "I don't give a hot gay gently caress WHAT Congress wants! Legalize weed, dude!!!" Several moments of silence passed until the master smiled at his student and responded: "I'm gay"
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Oct 23, 2018 17:10
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An empty quote is made by an empty head.
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Oct 23, 2018 17:16
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As I labored at my hotdog stand the master approached and said "Make me one with everything." I did.
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Oct 23, 2018 17:17
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Is he truly a shitposter, if he has not built within himself an illegal party toilet?
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Oct 23, 2018 17:20
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A cup overflowing can't be filled, so must the individual empty himself to grasp gold. Rings optional.
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Oct 23, 2018 18:20
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If a man makes a single post about the greatness of his condo, then we should believe him. So when a man makes dozens more posts about his condo, it is not us who he tries to convince.
Centrist Dad fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Oct 23, 2018 |
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Oct 23, 2018 18:30
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The acolytes found the master meditating one morning and gathered around him, waiting patiently for him to speak. At long last, he did so. "What is the sound of 'Qqqq Qqqqqqq'?"
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Oct 24, 2018 04:24
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How does one mine fish?
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Oct 24, 2018 04:28
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McGavin posted:Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Haha
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Oct 24, 2018 05:11
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 15:00 |
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if op is gay, but im gay, does that not make us all, the op
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Oct 24, 2018 05:19
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