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Do you work from home, or do you live at your work?
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Oct 24, 2018 05:20
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Son of Sam-I-Am posted:The master asked, "is it better to build a house like grover, or to code forums like radium?" goldmine
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Oct 24, 2018 06:15
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Tanzan wrote sixty postal cards on the last day of his life, and asked an attendant to mail them. Then he died. The cards read:quote:Subject:I'm dying
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Oct 24, 2018 06:33
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A GameCube in the hand is worth nine fingats in the hospital.
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Oct 24, 2018 08:01
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Captain Splendid posted:If my father should prefer the company of men, who shall take exception?
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Oct 24, 2018 08:06
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What is the Buddha? Keyboard goop.
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Oct 24, 2018 11:34
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Nomodsnomaste
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Oct 24, 2018 11:40
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A man was browsing the forums while standing outside. Another man walked by him, and by chance, happened to be a moderator on the forum. The moderator asked the man why he didn’t post. The man answered, “Because I cannot afford an account.” The moderator then bought him an account with a platinum upgrade. As the man was about to use the account to post, the moderator banned him. The man had a sudden realization, and bowed.
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Oct 24, 2018 12:26
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if a goon posts a banme is he truly banned?
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Oct 24, 2018 12:34
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A student appeared to the master, "Master, I have a wonderful new project! I shall remodel my entire bathroom from scratch!" The master replied, "Let us see what you have done so far." After the student showed the master some of his progress, the master began to question, "Why have you cut the tops of the beams underneath?" The student responded with a smile on his face, "The beams needed to be lowered so the bathtub would not be so high as to be difficult to step in or out of." The master sighed, "These are specifically designed to withstand weight properly. Cutting the tops off makes them ineffective." The master then asked, "Why do you wish to surround the bath with a moat of pebbles?" The student beamed, "This is to add an ecological atmosphere while bathing." The master sighed again, "I do not think anyone will be willing to clean the pebbles to remove the mold that will surely grow." Finally, the master said, "You are no craftsman, nor are you a designer. Why have you irreparably destroyed something to build an ill-conceived lavatory?" The student defended himself, "For women. It is true that I am single and unmarried, however I believe that when this is complete, any woman will immediately offer great sums of money to possess my dwelling. After all, it is the woman that undertakes such decisions in a marriage." The master then revealed herself. "Look at me, for I am a woman, as are many other students here! Not a single one has stood at your side convinced!" The student protested, but eventually faded away.
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Oct 24, 2018 15:07
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One day a member of the forums was toiling along with his peers. He was asked "what is the nature of your labor?" And immediately released his bowels.
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Oct 24, 2018 15:59
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A monk asked Ummon, "What is the kind of talk that transcends Buddhas and Patriarchs?" Ummon replied: "Rice cake! FYAD BITHC  "
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Oct 24, 2018 15:59
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A student lay before the master, peaceful in his long sleep. The master, torch in hand, shook him by the shoulder. But the student did not wake. The master again shook the sleeping student. And again the student did not wake. The master’s head shook slowly and he whispered, “if only you would but sip from my cup of soul expanding tea. So many truths it could show you.” The master gave the sleeping student one last shake before moving on in disappointment. But the student did not wake, for the student was but a skeleton.
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Oct 24, 2018 16:21
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"'I'm not owned! I'm not owned!,' I continue to insist as I slowly shrink and transform into a lotus flower."
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Oct 24, 2018 16:41
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Skullmund, Something Sensitive, and Kiwifarms are different shimmers of the same foul blade of bad posting.
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Oct 24, 2018 22:20
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Devils Affricate posted:The man who does not post for fear of probation, has already banned himself Wow. Nice.
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Oct 24, 2018 22:53
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He who mewls while leaving the room on all fours at once becomes the pussy yet shall never attain it.
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Oct 24, 2018 23:08
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Bit koan
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Oct 25, 2018 03:42
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I had no idea what a koan was until today. At least the formal name for it. It’s Japanese
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Oct 25, 2018 03:51
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"When did you become a goon?" the master asked his acolyte. "February 11, 2002," he replied. "And when did you join the forums?" the master asked him. The acolyte understood, and went away enlightened.
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Oct 25, 2018 04:05
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What is it that both is, and is not, a Common Brushtail Possum
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Oct 25, 2018 05:23
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i like nice words
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If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. If you teach a man to light a fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. If you light a car on fire, holy poo poo, piss.
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Oct 25, 2018 05:47
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Son of Sam-I-Am posted:Bit koan Lmao
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Oct 25, 2018 06:53
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e: Doublepost
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Oct 25, 2018 06:53
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Which weighs the heavier on a man's heart, his envy to possess another's conveyance, or the 400 lbs of concrete to which the conveyance is tied
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Oct 25, 2018 16:08
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Burt Sexual posted:I had no idea what a koan was until today. At least the formal name for it. It’s Japanese No it's a type of question or narrative posed to make you introspective.
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Oct 25, 2018 17:02
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Two Zen teachers, Soundmonkey and A Star War Betamax, were invited to visit a lord. Upon arriving, Soundmonkey said to the lord: "You have an in with truckers and are smarter than we have given you credit for." "Nonsense," said ASWBM. "Why do you flatter this blockhead? He may be a lord, but he doesn't know anything of hot dogs" So, instead of building a hot dog cart for Soundmonkey, the lord built a bunker with a vent hood for ASWBM and sucked the chili right outta that hole with him.
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Oct 25, 2018 17:50
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A novice poster, realizing a senior goon deserved it, aspired only to give him the best posts. When the senior goon realized that he was being given better posts he immediately asked for a probation. The novice stopped posting in solidarity, and sent him many PMs asking him to return, but he received no answer. Finally a week had passed, and the novice sent a final message. "Goon sire, you may not want to, but I need to poo poo post" At that moment the probation was lifted and the goon returned. "Lol" he messaged the novice "that is the lesson. when your reg date is as old as mine, remember to still poo poo post with the worst of them."
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Oct 25, 2018 18:15
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There is a gif on the frontpage
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Oct 25, 2018 18:24
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Remove shitposts with the beecock
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Oct 25, 2018 18:26
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Master, how do I clean the land of no sunshine??
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Oct 25, 2018 18:36
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Very carefully, the master replied.
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Oct 25, 2018 18:42
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Epitope posted:There is a gif on the frontpage How heavy is the front page? It is the weight of a butterfly. How bright does it shine? As bright as the sun at night.
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Oct 25, 2018 19:22
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The master had been visited by representatives of the local warlord. After careful discussion, he then turned towards a group of students, and promptly banished them. After asking why they had been banished, the master replied, "Congratulations! The Secret Service has issued a subpoena to Something Awful LLC regarding your post! You are one of the forum's most stupid individuals ever!"
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Oct 25, 2018 19:23
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he who would own others, first should own himself
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Oct 25, 2018 20:20
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Qqqqqq qqq qqqqqq q qqqq qqqqqqq.
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Oct 25, 2018 20:47
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Sekenr posted:A student once asked the master niggerstomper58 how was he able to gain such deep understanding of FYAD. Amen.
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Oct 25, 2018 20:52
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a poster hangs by his fingertips from a clifftop. Above, a hungry tiger prowls, below are jagged rocks. Quickly!  !
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Oct 25, 2018 21:30
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he who buys the most accounts, spends the least money
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Oct 25, 2018 21:36
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You can bring a girl a printer but you can't make her gently caress you.
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Oct 25, 2018 22:20
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