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The master and student sat in the garden, locked in deep meditation "Bingus" the student uttered suddenly "Actually, spingus" the master replied
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Oct 25, 2018 22:34
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“Man who shits in his pants in church must sit in his own pew.” Updated for goons
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Oct 27, 2018 19:47
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Master Pick, a wise teacher, was traveling along a road when night began to fall. She made camp next to a crippled man laying on a pallet next to his oxen and his cart. As it happened, it began to rain heavily, and the wind howled with fury. Pick felt pity for the crippled man and called out, “Come and take shelter from the cold and rain. Here in my tent it is warm and dry, and we may enjoy one another’s company.” To Master Pick’s surprise, the crippled man left his pallet, crawled over rough stones and through mud, inch by agonizing inch, until he came to rest beneath his cart, affording only minimal protection from the elements. Pick thought about the man’s strange behavior for a long while. In the end, she boldly declared her conclusion, “All men are scum!” The only answer she received to her shout was the pouring rain and howling wind. The crippled man was pretending to not hear her because he wanted Pick to just leave him be and move along. No one was enlightened.
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Oct 27, 2018 20:32
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How much does a printer carried for miles weigh?
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Oct 27, 2018 20:48
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The man seeking enlightenment climbs to see The Master. He says to The Master, "how does one find spiritual harmony?" The Master strokes his grey neck beard and responds, "Tane."
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Oct 27, 2018 21:09
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dreadmojo posted:a poster hangs by his fingertips from a clifftop. Above, a hungry tiger prowls, below are jagged rocks. Quickly!
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Oct 28, 2018 12:46
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Before enlightenment, post poo poo, troll weebs. After enlightenment, post poo poo, troll weebs
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Oct 29, 2018 02:18
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A wise man once said, "I hope a freaking giant steps on someone!!!"
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Oct 29, 2018 02:49
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A quote is most useful when it is empty.
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Oct 29, 2018 03:30
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Last time, I won a roast beef on a hard roll!
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Oct 29, 2018 06:26
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Devils Affricate posted:The man who does not post for fear of probation, has already banned himself wisdom
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Oct 29, 2018 07:34
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Novice asks from the Master "What is that husband doing to his prayer wheel?"
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Oct 29, 2018 07:36
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The great sage Goa Tse was once asked what is the meaning of life. The sage replied: "In the center, there is void"
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Oct 29, 2018 07:45
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While walking through town one day, the student found himself in conversation with a local man about their days. The stranger seemed acquainted, if not familiar with some of the students recollections of the monastery gatherings and topics. This gave the student a hunch. The student asked the man if he had a second story in his house, and also a stairway. The wise master shook his head, “I have no idea what you are talking about.” The master wished the student a good day and they both went on with their days.
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Oct 29, 2018 08:03
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MRC48B posted:A quote is most useful when it is empty.
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Oct 29, 2018 09:30
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Stark Fist posted:Last time, I won a roast beef on a hard roll! Whoa.
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Oct 30, 2018 00:01
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What is the sound of one hand jerkin’ it? On a micropenis.
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Oct 30, 2018 02:07
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Son of Sam-I-Am posted:Bit koan ice cream koan
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Oct 30, 2018 03:04
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An acolyte approached the master and asked him, "Master, why have we not received our spaceship jpegs, as you promised?" The master replied, "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." Confused, the acolyte departed. Another acolyte approached the master. "Master," he said, "when will you give us the spaceship jpegs, as you promised?" Quoth the master, "Nevermore." This acolyte also left, having failed to achieve enlightenment. A third acolyte approached him. "Master, I have donated generously, yet I still do not have a spaceship jpeg. I am wondering: why not?" The master cried out, "For the love of God!"
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Oct 30, 2018 04:25
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raton posted:Empty and full: diarrhea shelf To grasp the diarrhoea shelf, you must also grasp the diarrhoea self
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Oct 30, 2018 04:33
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The master joined his acolytes for the morning's meditation, and posed this question to them to ponder. "Last night I dreamed the font size increased by 0.2 pixels," he told them. "Was I a goon dreaming the font size increased by 0.2 pixels, or am I now a goon dreaming the font size has decreased by 0.2 pixels?"
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Oct 30, 2018 04:36
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"Master, this subforum confuses me" cried the student. "The import of these problems, evaluated as everything and nothing--how can they simultaneously be true?" "They drink piss" replied the master. "Piss upon them, and they will drink from your pissy maker"
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Oct 30, 2018 05:27
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Devils Affricate posted:The man who does not post for fear of probation, has already banned himself Nice self koan
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Oct 30, 2018 13:20
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Son of Sam-I-Am posted:An acolyte approached the master and asked him, "Master, why have we not received our spaceship jpegs, as you promised?" Something Awesome Poe-ans
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Oct 30, 2018 13:54
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koany 2012
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Oct 30, 2018 13:55
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Wise man once said: Nothing can be gained from bursting into a hospital, only lost.
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Oct 30, 2018 14:09
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LifeSunDeath posted:Wise man once said: Nothing can be gained from bursting into a hospital, only lost. For it is truly the wisest man who can move past, and heal. Well done.
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Oct 30, 2018 14:24
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CassandraZara posted:Nice self koan MRC48B posted:A quote is most useful when it is empty.
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Oct 30, 2018 16:47
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Mr.Tophat posted:A wise man once said, "I hope a freaking giant steps on someone!!!" At these words I am enlightened.
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Oct 30, 2018 16:53
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I am drunk the finest wines and have carnal knowledge of the fairest maidens. But there is nothing greater in this life than op changing the thread title to your post.
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Oct 30, 2018 17:06
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The Master stood before his students and said "This is back to basics chili. This is “I’m flat loving broke” chili. This is “I have one hour to feed myself before my shift surfing for CP at the local library starts” chili. This is camping chili. This is hunting chili. This is house full of screaming little shits chili. This is the comfort chili you make your best friend right after he walks in on you speed-bagging his sister. This is quick, easy, tasty, man chili. This isn’t the chili you have Gordon Ramsey weep into because you didn’t use all fresh ingredients. And this is not the chili you waste a perfectly good steak making." "After eating this chili, would anything be able to remove the flavor from your mouth?" The students sat deep in thought. One student lifted their eyes from a microscope and said "Fellatio?" The Master smiled.
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Oct 30, 2018 17:34
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If you should see a mod upon the forums, Reap his taint
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Oct 30, 2018 17:38
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Big Beef City posted:If you should see a mod upon the forums, Reap his taint lol
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Oct 30, 2018 18:13
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Big Beef City posted:If you should see a mod upon the forums, Reap his taint
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Oct 30, 2018 18:20
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a cyberpunk goose posted:A student lay before the master, peaceful in his long sleep. 
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Oct 30, 2018 19:07
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The Master sat to examine his three finest students to determine where to send them to spread their wisdom. "It is said," he began, "that the king is rotten and vile, so are his ministers and advisors, and the kingdom is falling into strife and destitution. What can be done?" The first student answered: "We should educate his advisors and lead them from vileness to wisdom and select his advisors thusly, so the king will be lead to rule the realm and bring back unity and prosperity." The Master nodded and sent the student to D&D. The second student answered: "This is a matter of the mortal realm and does not matter to the immortal soul. Nothing does." The Master nodded and sent the student to C-SPAM. The third student answered: "If the king is rotten and vile, he has forfeited the right to rule. We shall forcefully remove him from the throne, alive or dead, to make way for a truly wise and generous ruler." The Master did not nod as he was being dragged away by the king's secret agents.
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Oct 30, 2018 19:28
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A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:What's the sound of one hand posting
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Oct 30, 2018 19:37
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What is a man who eats rear end, yet must post forum posts? A shameful ghost, a broken blade of grass.
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Oct 30, 2018 19:48
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What came first: the chicken or the cheese?
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Oct 30, 2018 20:05
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A wise man came to be in the great city when two towers of marvelous architecture collapsed. The people of the city reacted in many different ways. Many openly weeped and despaired. Some quietly grieved. Others yet were angry and when rumors spread that saboteurs from a distant city caused the collapse they pledged their swords and lives to eradicate them and their city. A few were questioning this and spread word that the collapse were caused by the king himself to make the people believe in a just cause for the eradication of the rival city. The wise man, however, witnessed the collapse and the reaction of the people so visceral, sudden and diverse and played on his saxophone and people were delighted.
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Oct 30, 2018 20:14
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