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dreadmojo posted:The Novice made a shitpost and came to the master bearing it proudly. He said ' Master, is this not a good post?' Lol
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Nov 4, 2018 18:47
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The man who throws parties for kings, sultans, lords, prominent merchants, celebrities, and other influential dignitaries: this is a poor man. The rich man invites every character from every game, comic, cartoon, TV show, movie, and book reality with everything for one HUGE party.
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Nov 4, 2018 19:05
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The student pondered for a moment, "does my house have stairs?" Sensing a trick, "No!" he proudly replied, for he lived in a basement yet the house was his mothers. The master shook his head, for he could see the student was not enlightened.
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Nov 4, 2018 23:28
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Vlonald Prump posted:The great sage Goa Tse was once asked what is the meaning of life. The sage replied: "In the center, there is void" a cyberpunk goose posted:While walking through town one day, the student found himself in conversation with a local man about their days. The stranger seemed acquainted, if not familiar with some of the students recollections of the monastery gatherings and topics. This gave the student a hunch.
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Nov 5, 2018 01:44
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One day a stranger approached the Master in his meditations, claiming he was owed a debt. The Master said, "I have seen your ilk before and know you to be unenlightened. The last such was given to the crabs to be tormented to death. But I am feeling generous, so speak." The stranger said, "One of your students, preaching in the street, brandished a graven image created by one of my students, in mockery. You must pay me recompense for this offense or I will bring suit against you before the warlord." The Master said, "I was not there in the street preaching, and the man you claim as my student is one of many visitors to this monastery. Is it not true that your student gifted those images to all and sundry, saying, 'Here, take this and do as you will?' And is it also not true that you were driven out of many neighboring monasteries for similar claims?" "All of these things are true," the stranger admitted. "Your logic is flawed," said the Master, and returned to his meditations. When he next opened his eyes the stranger had gone.
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Nov 5, 2018 01:46
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camgirl fangirl posted:A master, old and frail, resided on a hill. A student, seeking the master’s favor, took it upon himself to bring an offering of shrubs to adorn the master’s garden.
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Nov 5, 2018 01:53
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The student, upon being presented with two choices for where to place his desires, was confused. Could he not as easily begin molding the mud bricks that would form the base of his future home, perhaps the beginnings of that ancient whyt, in the indigo-infused earth as in the land that reminded him of the untouched, pink flesh of a newborn lamb? He went to Master in search of an answer, a truth lifted from a mind so clear and wise that it was as if all the facts of humanity laid upon an immutable thread of time and could be plucked out like ripe grapes off the vine. "Master, my soul is being tested, I have but only one life to project forth upon this world and two places where to begin. I am certain that as soon as the first step of my thick, palm-wrapped bottoms of my feet enter into one of the fertile lands before me, I will be locked into a path without any chance for regret or change. Master, I seek your wisdom so that my life may be righteous and true." The Master was pleased with the deep thought his student has given this dilemma. He recognized that his first move would forever cement his future, marry him to a locomotive force that could not be stopped lest he re-pay the price of entry; however, the student had failed to reason out the truth of this decision. Presently, he proposed this puzzle to his young acolyte, "A man on the first day walks down the dirt path from his home. As he progresses past a pond of indeterminable length and depth, he catches a glimpse of himself, mouth agrin, repeatedly soothing his mind with a chant in some ancient tongue, drool flowing down his chin." The student tried his hardest to imagine this man, the pure idiocy of the vision in the water. The Master continued, "After getting to town and buying supplies, the man headed back to his home, but upon a different path one with an endless orchard of pink cherry blossoms off to the side. In the farm he saw something that confounded him just as much as the vision in the water. A young man was following a work hand, holding spiced coffee over his head, repeatedly asking the young man if he had heard the latest news about the true epic fails of autumnal brewing." Again the student struggled to picture something so mind bending in both it's complete lack of thought and of any value at all. The Master completed his lesson, "what is the difference between these two? Reason this and you'll have your answer to the question you seek of which land you should choose." For two weeks the student pondered this, not eating, drinking, or sleeping. Alas, he exclaimed his answer - "They are one in the same! There is no difference between the idiot in the water and the fool with the coffee - both have no future, no past, they exist only to serve themselves and those locked in their fate in an endless loop of destruction! I will choose neither!" The Master smiled Crazyweasel fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Nov 5, 2018 |
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Nov 5, 2018 04:06
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dreadmojo posted:The Novice made a shitpost and came to the master bearing it proudly. He said ' Master, is this not a good post?'
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Nov 5, 2018 04:17
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idgi
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Nov 5, 2018 05:11
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Me either
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Nov 5, 2018 05:55
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And in not knowing, we have achieved enlightenment. Also, the coffee is meant to represent tea.
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Nov 5, 2018 06:54
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Given the idiocy and cherry blossoms, I'd wager they're talking about FYAD.
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Nov 5, 2018 07:09
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That’s why you contemplate it for years, geez!
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Nov 5, 2018 16:21
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Jaguars! posted:A novice claimed that he had departed on the path of enlightenment. True enlightenment includes realising that people expect posts in a comedy forum to be funny. May all beings be happy and safe, may they all laugh out loud.
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Nov 5, 2018 16:57
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wheatpuppy posted:One day a stranger approached the Master in his meditations, claiming he was owed a debt. Amazing
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Nov 5, 2018 17:24
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A monk asked Ummon, "What are the forums?" Ummon replied, "A poo poo-encrusted poop knife!"
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Nov 5, 2018 23:13
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Once Ma-tsu and Pai-chang were walking along the sea and they saw some otters swim by. “What was that?” the Master asked. “Otters,” Pai-chang replied. “I am Fond of Otters; particularly the Sea Otter (Enhydra lutris); in fact I have adopted the Binomial Name for the Sea Otter as my User Name; a Sea Otter also appears in my Avatar; thus it is Natural that I would be associated with Otters; and I am Pleased that it is so.” “Master, why do you wish to associate with otters?” Pai-chang said. The Master then twisted Pai-chang’s nose, and when Pai-chang cried out in pain, Ma-tsu said, “There seems to be some Confusion; I am not a Sea Otter (Enhydra lutris) in Life; it is only my Online Forum Avatar that is a Sea Otter; I selected the Binomial Name to be my User Name because my Brother was exerting pressure upon me to make a Decision; he said that he had Better Things To Do; he said that he would Miss Deal Or No Deal; he said that he is Dying By Inches On Account Of Fool Sibling's Unreasonable Demands; he suggested numerous alternatives and they were all inappropriate.” Pai-Chang raised a finger as if to respond, then had a sudden realization. He bowed to Ma-tsu.
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Nov 10, 2018 19:42
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A novice approaches the Master asking why he desires the flesh of the young. The Master grabs his ban hammer. For aatrek had re-regged.
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Nov 10, 2018 20:35
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Deep Glove Bruno posted:Once Ma-tsu and Pai-chang were walking along the sea and they saw some otters swim by. Lol does that guy still post
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Nov 10, 2018 20:49
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It was avshalom
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Nov 11, 2018 09:47
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Lol does that guy still post lol that guy was awesome
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Nov 21, 2018 01:23
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