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I just had a brilliant idea! I'm going to open up a new credit card to pay off my old card's debt. When that one is due, I'll do the same thing. Hahaha! Checkmate, credit card companies!
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Oct 25, 2018 05:08
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Of course I love kids! She can't leave me if she's always knocked up! Plus think of the tax breaks!
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Oct 25, 2018 05:23
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Rad-daddio posted:lol, it's a dude in the anonymous confessions thread. Apparently, he's gotten past second base with a girl who's way younger than he is at his job, and he's ready to destroy his 20 year marriage for it. Remember the one where the guy thought the much younger hot workmate wanted him so he forced his wife to open their marriage? Not only did the wife rapidly discover she LOVED being in an open marriage as she was dating constantly with much hotter guys, but the husband discovered his hot workmate had no idea she was "sending signals" and was also spectacularly gay.
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Oct 25, 2018 05:33
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*Doesn't have health insurance* "Hold my beer and watch this!"
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Oct 25, 2018 05:36
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*actually pays big bux for insurance* *gets no coverage from it when needed, dies poor*
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Oct 25, 2018 05:39
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I'm going to buy a BB gun! My precious, precious eyes will surely be safe! Eyepatches are badass.
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Oct 25, 2018 06:51
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Bogus Adventure posted:I just had a brilliant idea! I'm going to open up a new credit card to pay off my old card's debt. When that one is due, I'll do the same thing. Hahaha! Checkmate, credit card companies! Why not spread it out on a few cards to maximize your interest payment and fees! And then buy a high yield savings bond you can’t touch without penalty before you have to pay the card back at 10x the interest of the bond! 
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Oct 25, 2018 06:54
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Jose Mengelez posted:additionally make sure your mistresses look and dress exactly like your wife that way if she catches you with one they can just imitate her and you can claim it's a mirror. Ah, the Tiger Woods maneuver
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Oct 25, 2018 10:15
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i'll have extra fries with that
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Oct 25, 2018 10:38
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I should start raising kittens from strays on the street.
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Oct 25, 2018 11:27
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Does anyone have experience selling from a multi level marketing program? I know your first reaction - that this is a pyramid scheme. But actually, it's a ladder and it's one that's DESIGNED to benefit me. I get 5% commission for the first $500 I sell. If I sell more than $500 in a month, that's a 10% commission on EVERYTHING. If I can sell $2000 a month that jumps up to 20% commission and I'm literally raking in the money. That's 400 dollars of pure profit for every 2000 dollars I sell, that just makes financial sense. Plus every person I sign up to sell this stuff instantly gets me $50. I have like 200 facebook friends, if I constantly post about this stuff I'll bet I can easily get half of them to sign up. That's $5000 and on top of that, they have to buy their inventory through me! So I'm selling to them and making even more!
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Oct 25, 2018 13:42
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I listen to my parents, they know just what to do.
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Oct 25, 2018 13:48
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Frankenstyle posted:As long as I use enough lube I don't see any potential problems with putting this mason jar up in there. drat how cramped is your cupboard? Optimize your shelving. Well all that matters is calories in and calories out. Just gonna eat 2k in pizza and ice cream every day. So happy I never have to touch a vegetable again.
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Oct 25, 2018 14:11
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504 posted:Remember the one where the guy thought the much younger hot workmate wanted him so he forced his wife to open their marriage? Oh poo poo, I forgot about that! That whole story was like a weapons-grade self own.
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Oct 25, 2018 15:09
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*wakes up, gets out of bed*
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Oct 25, 2018 15:41
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*deploys umbrella even though it's just a light drizzle, but it's also really windy*
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Oct 25, 2018 15:47
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Carpenters are way too expensive, I'm going to install this bath tub all by myself.
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Oct 25, 2018 16:00
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Icochet posted:*deploys umbrella even though it's just a light drizzle, but it's also really windy* Play Heaven's Divide and suddenly a daily commute to work becomes epic
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Oct 25, 2018 16:09
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I'm just gonna ride out this hurricane. I got a couple cases of Natty Light, two cartons of smokes and a pallet of SPAM. I heard the storm isn't going to be that bad anyway. Evacuation-schmacuation!
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Oct 25, 2018 16:11
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Holy poo poo CrossFit seems so badass!!! And it’s expensive as gently caress, so not only is it good, but it probably keeps out all those schlubs haha. I’m healthy though, so there’s no way doing these workouts will injure me!
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Oct 25, 2018 16:51
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stretched fuckin earlobes 
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Oct 25, 2018 16:53
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*does kratom* It’s legal bro all good my man
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Oct 25, 2018 16:55
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Play Heaven's Divide and suddenly a daily commute to work becomes epic Does... Anyone get this reference?
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Oct 25, 2018 16:57
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Jay_Zombie posted:I'm just gonna ride out this hurricane. I got a couple cases of Natty Light, two cartons of smokes and a pallet of SPAM. I heard the storm isn't going to be that bad anyway. *becomes mod*
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Oct 25, 2018 17:05
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I just won $100,000 on a scratch off lottery ticket. Guess what, this job can blow me. *turns over massive shelving unit containing paint cans* gently caress you Jimmy! Clean my poo poo up, I just won $100,000 and never need to work again. My first order of business is buying that sweet SUV I've always wanted - in cash!
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Oct 25, 2018 17:18
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A Fancy Hat posted:I just won $100,000 on a scratch off lottery ticket. Guess what, this job can blow me. This thread is about sabotaging your life not making it better
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Oct 25, 2018 17:31
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I am unhappy with my job and place in life, so at the age of 30 I am going back to university to pursue a completely different degree!
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Oct 25, 2018 17:48
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ZearothK posted:I am unhappy with my job and place in life, so at the age of 30 I am going back to university to pursue a completely different degree! I know, I'll get my MBA!
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Oct 25, 2018 18:13
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ZearothK posted:I am unhappy with my job and place in life, so at the age of 30 I am going back to university to pursue a completely different degree! That's cool. I think I'm gonna go into college, a career I don't like but it's really well paid so I'll have a guaranteed job. I probably won't be great at it but hey. The world needs more lawyers.
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Oct 25, 2018 18:19
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HONEY COME SEE THIS I DID THE BIGGEST TURD!
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Oct 25, 2018 18:20
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I need to watch more Netflix.
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Oct 25, 2018 18:43
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Red pill? Dunno, I liked the matrix. Let’s watch some of these videos *days later* and that’s my theory about why women hit THE WALL at 30, because their skin is softer and thinner and thus more prone to wrinkles compared to men, furthermore
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Oct 25, 2018 18:45
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There are no tanks in Baghdad.
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Oct 25, 2018 18:54
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*starts pumping gas* *lights up cigarette*
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Oct 25, 2018 18:57
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1redflag posted:I need to watch more Netflix. I mean sure there are *limited* commercials but I gotta have my Hulu, man!
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Oct 25, 2018 19:03
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Well, I'm finally doing it, I'm launching my kickstarter backed restaurant. And I'm going to be the first person to do this successfully because I've learned from the failures of the past. I love to eat and have turned that love of food into a unique restaurant experience unlike anything in the world. I have combined my love of all cuisines to create a comprehensive menu that caters to everyone. 230 unique dishes, all of them prepared fresh with locally sourced ingredients. Our décor is classic Americana with a twist. Think of a 50s diner - with a little modern edge. And if you're a kickstarter backer you'll get your picture on our wall of fame. And here's the best part - our location. I've already scouted an amazing spot just off the highway. Truckers will FLOCK to this place, families on vacation, and locals, too. I'm planning to keep costs low by cooking everything myself and having my wife be the only waitress.
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Oct 25, 2018 19:11
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A Fancy Hat posted:Well, I'm finally doing it, I'm launching my kickstarter backed restaurant. And I'm going to be the first person to do this successfully because I've learned from the failures of the past. I have consulted my magic 8 ball. There is only one obstacle in your way, a vent hood.
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Oct 25, 2018 19:22
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I'm going to go for a ride on this man's home made submarine and interview him about it
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Oct 25, 2018 20:27
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brb, gotta pop into this embassy real quick
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Oct 25, 2018 20:37
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If I buy 52 one week timeshares I will not have to pay rent or a mortgage. I have hacked the system!
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Oct 25, 2018 20:43
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