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FlimFlam Imam posted:Hold my beer, watch this. I'm going to post ITT before seeing if anyone else has posted my lame contribution already.
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Oct 26, 2018 18:38
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I am going to post a thread about my new job as a retard masturbator.
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Oct 26, 2018 19:01
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redgubbinz posted:I'm just gonna let my anxiety and depression fester for a decade or two, slowly cut off all human contact and stomp out any ambitious thoughts while turning time-wasting into an art form. Woops! This is my entire life.
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Oct 26, 2018 19:03
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Theophany posted:This is a little too close to home. I sold my hyper reliable Civic to buy a V8 BMW that went on to take up a diet of oil rather than gas. This is exactly what an ex-coworker did last year. He was "asking me for advice" but really he was just bragging about how he was going to get the BMW. I told him that the Civic will give him a 3 year warranty, much lower insurance, and cost probably 50% less in gas. He was sort of shocked that I didn't just high-five him and shout "sick bro", and got a bit defensive. By the end of the school year, he had nearly put 1/2 the initial purchase price into the car in parts and labour. He figured out that the dealership was not the best place to take it to (charging more for labour than most places), and went to another garage that told him (after giving it a good inspection) that they figured whoever owned the car previously fancied them-self a race car driver, and had done their best to leave the car on the verge of destruction. Cosmetically it looked great, but the abuse the suspension, brakes, transmission and engine had taken had drastically shortened the lifespan of the car. They even guessed that the dealership (knowing all of this before buying it) probably paid in the previous owner $7,000-9,000 for it since most of the major components were on their last legs. The only way that we even heard about this was that the coworker was bragging that he was going to sue the dealership and get a brand new M3. Naturally nothing care of it since he essentially signed a contract that said, "we'll sell you this car worth tens of thousands of dollars" as is.
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Oct 26, 2018 23:14
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not even gonna bother formatting this in ITT prose, but I know way too many people from highschool who tried saving their abusive and/or unhappy relationships with a child or two. or doubling down on a partner they really aren't compatible with and marrying them. it's happened so often and ends the exact same way each time, I really have to wonder if they think "it'll be different with us" or if its just some sort of legitimately depressing denial tactic.
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Oct 26, 2018 23:30
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buglord posted:not even gonna bother formatting this in ITT prose, but I know way too many people from highschool who tried saving their abusive and/or unhappy relationships with a child or two. or doubling down on a partner they really aren't compatible with and marrying them. Whynotboth.gif
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Oct 27, 2018 02:32
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buglord posted:not even gonna bother formatting this in ITT prose, but I know way too many people from highschool who tried saving their abusive and/or unhappy relationships with a child or two. or doubling down on a partner they really aren't compatible with and marrying them. It's because the assumption/teaching that reaching arbitrary milestones means everything will be better
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Oct 27, 2018 02:38
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Blistex posted:This is exactly what an ex-coworker did last year. He was "asking me for advice" but really he was just bragging about how he was going to get the BMW. I told him that the Civic will give him a 3 year warranty, much lower insurance, and cost probably 50% less in gas. ... I have a 2003 Civic and that thing is going strong on 160K miles. Those things are crazy! The guy probably wanted a BMW because it would make him look cooler. Joke's on him, everyone thinks BMW owners are douchebags.
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Oct 27, 2018 02:47
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My Twitter Account posted:I loving hate this job, I loving hate my boss, I'm just going to go right up to him and say I quit. It'll be fine, I'll take a week or two off, then start looking for something new. I bet I could have an even better job in like a month. I did this, but with the key distinction of having a year's worth of mortgage payments and expenses. Took several months, not one, to find something better, but on balance it was one of the more satisfying things I've ever done. But content from my younger, dumber self: Living in this small town is boring! I'm gonna burn all my bridges here and get a new job in New York City! I'll get paid so much more it'll easily outweigh the costs.
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Oct 27, 2018 02:53
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axolotl farmer posted:
lol it's not eddit Murphy dumass
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Oct 27, 2018 03:53
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TheWeepingHorse posted:Once I pass the bar, it's easy street from here on out Flutieflakes017 posted:*6 months later 
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Oct 27, 2018 04:16
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My life lacks meaning. I want to be a part of something bigger! *Joins a megachurch*
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Oct 27, 2018 06:45
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*buys a funko pop* haha cool toy *a few months later* *has over 100 funko pops* haha just a few more to complete my collection
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Oct 27, 2018 17:06
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Who the gently caress looks at a BMW and thinks it’s a cool car with a cool owner BMW loving sucks and so do their drivers
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Oct 27, 2018 17:09
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maxe posted:lol it's not eddit Murphy dumass the british guy from that meme is also called edward murphy
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Oct 27, 2018 18:07
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ok he isn't. but i had you going for a second there didn't i?
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Oct 27, 2018 18:08
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who needs a rubber? i've sat in my bath tub boiling my balls for over a month, no way i'm -not- shooting blanks!
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Oct 27, 2018 18:48
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Big Beef City posted:I'm going to go for a ride on this man's home made submarine and interview him about it oh man
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Oct 27, 2018 18:58
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These homicidal urges sure do suck. But I have them under control. I've channeled the energy to my hobby. Hello pretty lady. Oh, you want to come for a ride in my submarine, in the dark under the waves? Just the two of us? WELCOME ABOARD!
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Oct 27, 2018 19:06
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OMFG FURRY posted:who needs a rubber? i've sat in my bath tub boiling my balls for over a month, no way i'm -not- shooting blanks! sir this is a wendys drive thru
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Oct 27, 2018 19:41
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Hello Sailor posted:sir this is a wendys drive thru Take a picture of me putting my dick in this dumbfuck's hamburger bun!
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Oct 27, 2018 19:44
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You know, a paleo diet makes sense if you think about it, I'll get my wife to join in eating raw meat as well
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Oct 27, 2018 19:58
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Pasketti posted:*buys a funko pop* well, it'll be quite reasonable if i sign a contract with my wife, right?
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Oct 27, 2018 22:19
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Yea she's crazy but the sex is amazing. I'll just let this one play it out because there's NO WAY we're getting married or having kids. Deep down we both know this relationship has a time limit.
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Oct 27, 2018 22:29
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Condoms just feel weird dude. Besides it's not sex if you're not raw dogging.
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Oct 27, 2018 22:55
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Gamer gate? Isn’t that an online game store? Let’s read what this is all about...
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Oct 27, 2018 23:18
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I’m gonna listen to all these goons who say that eating rear end is cool and good! Alright, here I go! My tongue is extending towards my SO’s butthole!
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Oct 27, 2018 23:55
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This Xiaomi phone runs the same apps as that thousand dollar iPhone or Samsung and it’s only thirty bucks, so it’s a no-brainer. And I don’t have to go to the mall, I can buy it right here at this gas station. I’m sure KTNT Wireless is just as reliable as the other guys so I’m sure I’ll get my important calls like several prospective employers that I just interviewed with or as my mom’s only emergency contact who has fragile hips and is prone to falling and getting stuck on the floor. It says it’s Ultra3G+ up to 10x faster than dial up* so it’ll be fine for YouTube which I need to help me fix my 2007 BMW so I can make it to dialysis tomorrow, I’m already a couple days late and if I miss it again my doctor says I’ll never leave the hospital.
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Oct 28, 2018 01:20
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Hello Sailor posted:sir this is a wendys drive thru https://www.thestranger.com/seattle/my-boyfriend-boils-his-balls-for-me/Content?oid=17443105
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Oct 28, 2018 01:45
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I'll sit here and wait for threads I'm following to get bumped rather than tackle anything on my extensive daily life to-do list
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Oct 28, 2018 01:49
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Laslow posted:This Xiaomi phone runs the same apps as that thousand dollar iPhone or Samsung and it’s only thirty bucks, so it’s a no-brainer. And I don’t have to go to the mall, I can buy it right here at this gas station. loving lol COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:I'll sit here and wait for threads I'm following to get bumped rather than tackle anything on my extensive daily life to-do list 
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Oct 28, 2018 02:03
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Laslow posted:This Xiaomi phone runs the same apps as that thousand dollar iPhone or Samsung and it’s only thirty bucks, so it’s a no-brainer. And I don’t have to go to the mall, I can buy it right here at this gas station. Had a former coworker with this phone who had to battle the insurance company about switching out the insulin pump she needed. Constantly complained that the insurance rep was "hanging up on her". Then her boyfriend and family started "hanging up on her". It stopped playing music correctly through headphones and started playing through the internal speaker only. That one was the fault of Pandora or Spotify or the album ripper, I don't recall that excuse. thread content part: I've been dating this girl for less than 90 days.So what if shes been committed twice, I need to move into a new apartment with her ASAP! yes I really did that like a fucken idiot Ardemia fucked around with this message at 05:35 on Oct 28, 2018 |
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Oct 28, 2018 03:20
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Ardemia posted:Had a former coworker with this phone who had to battle the insurance company about switching out the insulin pump she needed. Constantly complained that the insurance rep was "hanging up on her". Then her boyfriend and family started "hanging up on her". It stopped playing music correctly through headphones and started playing through the internal speaker only. That one was the fault of Pandora or Spotify or the album ripper, I don't recall that excuse. what a idiot. shoulda bought huawei.
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Oct 28, 2018 04:47
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Male prostitution? Hell yeah bro!!
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Oct 28, 2018 07:46
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Wait, so there no monthly repayments AND I get to continue to live in my home for free? Sign me up!
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Oct 28, 2018 09:46
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These Beanie Babies are gonna pay for my kids' college once we resell them!
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Oct 28, 2018 11:30
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Anybody want to buy some diesel? It’s got a weird color but it works fine!
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Oct 28, 2018 11:37
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Hometown Slime Queen posted:These Funko Pops are gonna pay for my kids' college once we resell them! See also bitcoin.
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Oct 28, 2018 11:42
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I met this really cute girl at the strip club a month ago. She says she is only doing it to pay her way through nursing school. She really seems to understand me, well a lot more than my wife does. There is a little bit of an age difference, but that shouldn't matter if it's real love. I think I'll take Jr.'s college fund and transfer it to her so she can buy textbooks, and baby formula for her son. Maybe if I give her enough, then she will agree to run away with me. (She has said no the last two times I have asked.)
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Oct 28, 2018 13:53
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I'm gonna apply for a bunch of credit cards so I can build up my credit really fast.
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Oct 28, 2018 15:16
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