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WARNING: THIS THREAD FEATURES REAL MUMMIES, AKA REAL HUMAN CORPSES, AND IS THEREFORE  and  ! Mummies are hidden behind links. Squeamish pissbabies, you have been warned.Just in time for Halloween, let's talk about the creepy real-world phenomena turned cheesy Hollywood monster, mummies! Mummies were the only thing that scared me as a kid because they can look creepy as poo poo, but they're actually really interesting. Mummies can occur in many ways, from deliberate human preservation to natural conditions taking a dead rando and fossilizing it just right for us to gawk at it thousands of years later. Without further ado, here is my personal list of most interesting mummies: Oldest Mummy: Otzi the Iceman At a mind-boggling 5,300 years old, Otzi holds the title of oldest known mummy and was found naturally preserved in the Alps. Scientists were able to study his clothes and even the food in his gut to learn how he lived. He apparently had chronic pain conditions, and the weird tattoos he had were believed to be primitive attempts at curing them. But old Otzi went out like a badass anyway, and various wounds point to him being killed in a raid (possibly part of a raiding party for some long-forgotten skirmish). Also his live restoration looks like a modern biker from West Virginia  Most Well-Preserved Mummy: Rosalia Lombardo, AKA "Death's Doll" Rosalia Lombardo's mummy is the remains of a poor little 2 year-old kid who died of pneumonia in 1920, before penicillin was a thing. This one is so freakishly well-preserved that it kind of hits the Uncanny Valley of mummies and looks like she is still alive and sleeping.  Her parents must have deeply cared for her because she was found in a tiny glass coffin. Also apparently sometimes her blue eyes claim to flutter open, but this is blamed on the way the light shafts hit the glass window of her tomb, which is now on public display. Truly spooky.Shittiest Mummy: King Tutankhamun King Tut is probably the most famous Egyptian mummy, but he is also a lovely one for multiple reasons. Like most ancient royal bloodlines, King Tut in life was an inbred mess because his parents were siblings. Dead at 18, most likely due to complications involving Malaria and a thigh injury, his reign was short. He still had classic inbred symptoms in life such as a cleft palate, scoliosis, and Klippel–Feil syndrome (fused neck vertebrae). It was also likely that he needed to walk with a cane, as various canes were found in his tomb and he had foot issues as well. The mummy isn't even preserved that well and looks like poo poo, and it is thought that his tomb had been raided in the past, but he did have a badass golden mask that has become the classic "mummy" symbol. Also look at his tiny shriveled mummy dick lol Highest Concentration of "Nope" in the World: Mexican Cholera Outbreak Mummies A Cholera outbreak in the 1800s + natural preservation conditions = a collection of mummies with faces contorted as they died in agony. And now they are on display so you too can go into a museum with 52 totally-not-cursed mummies on full display next to each other, surrounding you as they eternally scream silently from beyond the grave. Sleep tight! There are many other interesting examples such as Tollund Man (dude who was hanged and preserved disturbingly well in a peat bog) the Incan sacrifice mummies (who were apparently fed luxury food and made high as poo poo on drugs/alcohol before being left to the elements to die from exposure - probably not a bad way to go, all things considered) and Ata the "alien" mummy (who's skull shape points it out to be an ancient relative of Beavis). Post your spookiest mummy musings here!
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Oct 27, 2018 22:32
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I thought you were talking about the fetish 
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Oct 27, 2018 22:37
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I saw King Tut when it came through Seattle, I was an adolescent I think, dunno Stuff was gorgeous and for first time I realized how beautiful gold really is. And SO MUCH OF IT Even my white trash illiterate scum father was impressed
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Oct 27, 2018 22:37
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spinderella posted:I saw King Tut when it came through Seattle, I was an adolescent I think, dunno I would kill to have seen some of that purestrain Egyptian gold in real life, it must have been breathtaking. Scientists can keep the lovely corpse it came with though
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Oct 27, 2018 22:39
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mummies in clay pots or no deal
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Oct 27, 2018 22:42
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How do mummies get preserved? I know this is like a general question with many different answers, but I'd like to get educated on that poo poo if this thread is up to it.
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Oct 27, 2018 22:47
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I’d like to muse about those Bhuddist monks who meditated themselves to death and just became mummies in the lotus position.
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Oct 27, 2018 22:50
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extra row of teeth posted:I would kill to have seen some of that purestrain Egyptian gold in real life, it must have been breathtaking. It was-----breathtaking And this little statue of a woman guarding like a guts holder She was translucent beige and glorious
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Oct 27, 2018 22:55
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Solar Tornado posted:How do mummies get preserved? There are many ways. Egyptian mummies: the body was embalmed and internal organs were removed (including pulling the brain out through the loving nose  )Ice Mummies: a lot of things have to go right for a corpsecicle to form, such as the body being basically freeze dried without being crushed or exposed too much to the elements. Peat Bog Mummies: the conditions of the peat bogs these bodies are found in (acidic water, low temperature, low oxygen) preserves them surprisingly well but darkens their skin. Weirdly enough, in these mummies the skin is preserved well but the bones usually aren’t. Desert mummies: high heat plus low moisture equals dessicated but preserved bodies. Also I was wrong and apparently an Atacama Desert mummy beat Otzi’s record at 6,500 years old, goddamn
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Oct 27, 2018 22:56
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Snow Cone Capone posted:I thought you were talking about the fetish Same. My fetish is the sinister stare of Boris Karloff repeated several times throughout a movie while obviously being one and the same shot. But on the topic of dried up old husks, there are a bunch of def. cursed Catholic mummies, like this one of Saint Virginia Centurione Bracelli, who was the daughter of a doge  Then there's the Buddhist monks who are believed to have mummified themselves while still alive by "the sophisticated practices of meditation, coupled with prolonged starvation and slow self-suffocation using a special belt that connected the neck with his knees in a lotus position", or by "adhering to a wood eating diet made up of salt, nuts, seeds, roots, pine bark, and urushi tea. They were then buried alive in a pine-wood box full of salt connected by a tube for air and would ring a bell signaling they were alive. When the bell stopped ringing the air tube was removed". 
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Oct 27, 2018 23:01
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extra row of teeth posted:There are many ways. Ever had that booger that gets stuck in your nose and you finally get it out? Probably felt like that. Anyway, how come Rosalia got preserved so well? Is it just because her preservation was relatively new? Will she stay like that forever? Are we still mummifying people to this day for future archeologists?
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Oct 27, 2018 23:03
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EDIT^^ Rosalia’s insanely good preservation was a secret until recently, when notes were found by the embalmer’s family. The ingredients were formalin, zinc salts, alcohol, salicylic acid, and glycerin. Also no, Rosalia is already showing signs of deterioration such as a blackening nose (probably from the public/scientists loving with the body). The Bhuddist mummies are loving nightmare fuel. Imagine putting yourself through that, slowly starving in a tiny chamber while being forced to hold the same position until you die that way. Ugh. Mr. Creakle fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Oct 27, 2018 |
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Oct 27, 2018 23:04
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Your mum's my muse, OP.
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Oct 28, 2018 00:07
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Snow Cone Capone posted:I thought you were talking about the fetish 
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Oct 28, 2018 00:26
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extra row of teeth posted:There are many ways. become a monk fast for months stop eating and drink only tea from the lacquer plant meditate non-stop you will become mummified and meditate for eternity now
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Oct 28, 2018 00:30
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Mooey Cow posted:Same. My fetish is the sinister stare of Boris Karloff repeated several times throughout a movie while obviously being one and the same shot. gently caress instantly beat me to the monk mummy
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Oct 28, 2018 00:31
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drat good thread OP.
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Oct 28, 2018 00:32
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extra row of teeth posted:The Bhuddist mummies are loving nightmare fuel. Imagine putting yourself through that, slowly starving in a tiny chamber while being forced to hold the same position until you die that way. Ugh. uh maybe show some respect for other people's religious beliefs?
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Oct 28, 2018 00:49
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Creamed Cormp posted:uh maybe show some respect for other people's religious beliefs? Direct Wikipedia quote: “The practice to purposely make undecomposed bodies is seen as controversial and contradictory to the Buddhist belief in impermanence. Many (mummies) were destroyed or lost to history.“ Anyway let’s talk about the possibly new oldest mummy, known as The Detmold Child, a 6,500 year old baby from Peru. This poor thing had a rare heart defect and was ultimately finished off by either tuberculosis or pneumonia. It’s actually shocking that the little trooper lived to approximately 8-10 months with a congenital defect that usually kills in weeks, and s/he did it back when your medical options were limited to prayer and sacrifices. It also had a cone head. I’ll update this post with a pic and more info when I’m on my desktop, but as for how it looks basically picture a wrinkly brown Mew EDIT: Here is a pic of it: Detmold Child My next post will be about some interesting bog mummies, because they can come out looking insanely well preserved but get less press than the more flashy Egyptian/Ice/etc. mummies Mr. Creakle fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Oct 28, 2018 |
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Oct 28, 2018 00:57
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well OP if you're buddhist I guess I will listen to your criticism of their practice. Can you tell me more about why you as a buddhist think this practice is bad?
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Oct 28, 2018 01:09
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pff you don't have to be sheakspear to know the play sucks balls anyway a true monk sets themselves on fire like an ultra pro badass. That guy's heart didn't burn and they took it as a relic, but the government sent a commando team and they destroyed the monastery and blew up the heart to deny the monks spiritual power that could be used against the regime
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Oct 28, 2018 01:16
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What time is it? Bog Time. It appears that many European bog mummies were part of some ancient sacrifice to the gods, although some are believed to be the victims of deliberate homicides or the peat deliberately used as a burial spot for victims of murders or suicides. Either way, there's a clear pattern: most of the bog bodies show signs of a violent/premature death. There are quite a few bog mummies, and most of them look really hosed up and have a similar story, so I will only cover a couple here: Boggiest Mummy: Tollund Man While the rest of the body's preservation isn't great, the Tollund Man's face preservation is remarkable. Skin tanning aside, it just looks like he's taking a nap. He was buried with a noose still around his neck. Despite his death clearly being caused by hanging, scholars believe it was a human sacrifice rather than a criminal getting hanged for doing whatever. Most Soulless Ginger: Clonycavan Man Found in Ireland, Clonycavan Man is another bog body who was probably part of some ancient sacrifice. The body is 2,300 years old but this guy is believed to have been in his early 20s when he died. He is clearly not as well preserved as the Tollund Man, but his hair somehow survived right down to his style, enough for scientists to make a facial reconstruction.  Some more fun peat facts: -A lot of peat bog mummies are redheads, and this isn't because of gingers being specifically targeted thousands of years ago. The acidic condition of peat bogs slowly causes reddening of the hair over thousands of years by removing brown/black pigments, but preserving red pigments. -The acidic conditions of the bogs that preserve bodies best have a pH level similar to vinegar. Essentially, the bodies are pickled. -Since the bones don't preserve, even the most intact bog mummies tend to look all gross and melty. Mr. Creakle fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Oct 28, 2018 |
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Oct 28, 2018 01:45
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Ready to drink the Mummy juice
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Oct 28, 2018 01:50
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Anyone mention making mummy tea 
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Oct 28, 2018 02:09
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mellified manwikipedia posted:Mellified man, or human mummy confection, was a legendary medicinal substance created by steeping a human cadaver in honey. The concoction is detailed in Chinese medical sources, most significantly the Bencao Gangmu of the 16th-century Chinese medical doctor and pharmacologist Li Shizhen. Relying on a second-hand account, Li reports a story that some elderly men in Arabia, nearing the end of their lives, would submit themselves to a process of mummification in honey to create a healing confection. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mellified_man national geographic posted:According to Li Shizhen, the 16th-century Chinese apothecary and author of the monumental Bengcao gangmu—a compendium of exotic cures that features decoctions of dragon bones and ground up human hair—mellification was a practice whereby certain altruistic volunteers, usually aged holy men from Arabia, sacrificed themselves by ingesting nothing but honey until they sweated honey, shat honey, bled honey: Until they died. Their sugar-crystallized bodies were then immersed in huge jars of honey for a century. The end result: human rock candy—“mellified man”—a miraculous remedy for broken bones. https://www.nationalgeographic.org/projects/out-of-eden-walk/articles/2015-05-honey-im-dead/
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Oct 28, 2018 02:13
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^^^ Well that's horrifying! Thanks for helping to contribute to the thread, never knew about mummy honey.Weirdo posted:Anyone mention making mummy tea Take some Egyptian mummy urn dust, stir it in with some cold peat and shaved ice from the frozen corpse of a mountain mummy. Season the mixture with Atacama desert sand before bringing it to a boil. Voila, a tea that will bestow a curse upon your family for generations!
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Oct 28, 2018 02:15
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I always wanted to chew down on a bit of bog body because they look like biltong/jerky. The best mummy I saw was a priest that some dingus was mummifying and forgot a pot of resin was around. The pot ended up glued to old mate's scalp. They bundled him up and though, yeah no ones evvveeeerrrrr gonna see that we bungled this dude up right? They did not anticipate the British museum MRI-ing the mummy and at first were like... is this part of the ritual? Then they realized that no, someone hosed up and thought nòooooo one ever will be the wiser. Woopsies!
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Oct 28, 2018 02:49
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Ive been to the mexican mummy museum. There are a couple there of people who were buried alive its pretty horrifying but most of them are normal. They apparently dug up an old cemetary to make room for new people and those are the people that nobody claimed. They sell kick rear end mummy candy there.
DogonCrook fucked around with this message at 02:55 on Oct 28, 2018 |
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Oct 28, 2018 02:51
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I would not eat candy made out of mummies, seems disrespectful
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Oct 28, 2018 03:03
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Body Worlds is how I know what my Dad's lungs must be like.
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Oct 28, 2018 03:15
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Spooky good thread op. Learning a lot for my next mod challenge.
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Oct 28, 2018 03:24
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this thread will help all of us prepare for when we're buried w/ lowtax after his death as per the sites tos please continue
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Oct 28, 2018 05:09
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What a stupid loving thread, garbage OP. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 28, 2018 05:30
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Why do horror movies assume mummies would be bad and try to kill people if they woke up? Maybe they would chill and smoke weed
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Oct 28, 2018 05:35
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it's skeletons that smoke weed hth
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Oct 28, 2018 06:01
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im old rick bitch posted:it's skeletons that smoke weed hth What a waste, just billowing out the ribs. 
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Oct 28, 2018 06:12
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extra row of teeth posted:Take some Egyptian mummy urn dust, stir it in with some cold peat and shaved ice from the frozen corpse of a mountain mummy. Season the mixture with Atacama desert sand before bringing it to a boil. Voila, a tea that will bestow a curse upon your family for generations! Maybe something for what ails you
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Oct 28, 2018 06:51
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cholera seems like a hell of a way to go. i myself am destined to die making GBS threads on the toilet, so does anyone know how to make the best dignified position possible so history doesnt make me its mummy bitch like the example in the OP?
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Oct 28, 2018 07:47
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extra row of teeth posted:Most Well-Preserved Mummy: Rosalia Lombardo, AKA "Death's Doll" yikes, I didn't realize this one was animated. That optical illusion really does look like her eyes open D:
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Oct 28, 2018 07:54
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Mooey Cow posted:Same. My fetish is the sinister stare of Boris Karloff repeated several times throughout a movie while obviously being one and the same shot. lmao  This Chinese mummy is actually pretty spooky: 
Grevling fucked around with this message at 10:01 on Oct 28, 2018 |
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Oct 28, 2018 09:58
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