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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



____________________________

Evolution Results:
  • Trish Stratus and Lita defeated Mickie James and Alicia Fox (with Alexa Bliss)
  • Nia Jax won a shot at the Raw Women's Title in a 20-woman Battle Royal, throwing out Ember Moon last (Ember eliminated Asuka)
  • Order of elimination: Peyton Royce, Billie Kay, Molly Holly, Kelly Kelly, Torrie Wilson, Sonya Deville, Alundra Blayze, Maria Kanellis, Lana, Mandy Rose, Dana Brooke, Michelle McCool, Naomi, Carmella, Ivory, Asuka, Tamina, Zelina Vega, Ember Moon.
  • Toni Storm defeated Io Shirai to win the 2018 Mae Young Classic
  • Sasha Banks, Bayley and Nattie defeated The Riott Squad in a Six-woman tag team match
  • Shayna Baszler defeated Kairi Sane (C) by submission to regain the NXT Women's Championship, though she was helped by her MMA 4 Horsewomen friends Marina Shafir and Jessamyn Duke.
  • Becky Lynch (C) retained her Smackdown Women's Title by defeating Charlotte Flair in a Last Woman Standing match that was also one of the best WWE matches of the year.
  • Ronda Rousey (C) defeated Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella) by submission to retain her Raw Women's Championship. She ended the show embracing the entire women's roster who came out to celebrate a successful PPV.
____________________________

Raw Results:
  • The show opened with a recap of Roman's leukemia announcement and vacating of the Universal Championship.
  • Baron Corbin was in the ring with the belt, discussing Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia which got some boos, though there were more when he mentioned Brock Lesnar might end up as champion again. Brock and then BRAUN! came out and when Corbin tried to get between them, BRAUN! destroyed him with a couple of powerslams before eating an F5 from Lesnar. However as Lesnar was leaving, BRAUN! was getting back to his feet.
  • Finn Balor defeated Bobby Lashley by DQ, after Lio Rush blatantly pushed him off the top rope when he was going for the Coup de Grace. Lashley attacked Balor postmatch.
  • Balor had mocked Baron Corbin as he came to the ring, so after the match, Corbin had Lashley and Rush come to see him and congratulated Lashley on showing his brutal side, and awarded him with a spot in the World Cup at Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia, removing John Cena who "didn't qualify".
  • That was it, that was how they wrote Cena out of the event.
  • It was announced in a video package out of nowhere that Ronda Rousey would face Becky Lynch at Survivor Series. That match is gonna rule.
  • Trish Stratus, Lita, Natalya, Sasha Banks & Bayley defeated Ruby Riott, Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, Alicia Fox & Mickie James (w/Alexa Bliss) in a 10-Woman Tag, with Nattie tapping out Alicia Fox to the Sharpshooter.
  • Nia Jax was interviewed backstage about Ronda Rousey, and said she believed Ronda would destroy Becky at Survivor Series to prove Raw was the superior brand, and then Nia would be waiting for Ronda at whatever came after that. The interview moved to Ember Moon who was congratulated for her performance in the Battle Royal, but Jax cut back in to remind Ember that it was Nia who won. Ember challenged Nia to a match tonight.
  • Elias was doing a concert in the ring, talking about how he came to North Carolina early to hang out with Ric Flair. He had written a song for Corbin but figured he was too beaten up to come out, so he walked to the back (rejecting Dana Brooke along the way) and sang a song outside of Corbin's office. Corbin came out then ran away before he could be called Stephanie's bitch, but then Jinder Mahal jumped Elias from behind.
  • Elias defeated Jinder Mahal in less than 5 minutes in a singles match.
  • Michael Cole insisted it was GUARANTEED that there would be a new Universal Champion after Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia.
  • The first round of matches in the World Cup tournament will be Lashley vs. Rollins; Angle vs. Ziggler; Jeff Hardy vs. The Miz; Rey Mysterio vs. Orton. The winner of the Raw side will face the winner of the Smackdown side.
  • Angle did a promo admitting he was out of his mind doing this tournament, but he'd been out of his mind when he did all the other incredible things in his career as well, and he meant to prove he was still the best.
  • Bobby Roode and Chad Gable faced off against The Ascension and the Authors of Pain in answer to the AOP attacking both teams last week. Roode and Gable quickly won... by beating The Ascension. Then the Authors of Pain beat them all up again.
  • A video package of Roman visiting with sick kids from before his diagnosis was made public, and in what seemed to catch Cole by surprise the crowd started and continued a chant for Roman.
  • Seth Rollins came to the ring and admitted that he hadn't talked to Dean all week because he knew that Dean can't be found when he doesn't want to be. He considered that maybe it was his fault that Seth attacked him, given how Seth turned on the Shield 4 years ago. He wanted an answer now though, and demanded Ambrose come out.
  • Finally Ambrose appeared among the crowd after a music fakeout, but while he teased answering Seth's questions several times he never actually spoke. Seth got more and more frustrated until he declared he was going to come up the aisle and beat the answers out of him. As he prepared to storm up, however, Ambrose calmly just turned and walked away.
  • Lio Rush cut a promo on Lashley's behalf about how Lashley was "money" and would win the World Cup at Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia.
  • Nia Jax defeated Ember Moon after a distraction when Tamina's music played and she stormed down to the ring to.... leave the ring again without doing anything.
  • Lucha House Party from 205 Live showed up and beat The Revival in a tag-team match.
  • Dolph came out with Drew and put over Kurt Angle but insisted Kurt's time was behind him but Dolph's time was just beginning, which he would prove at "Crown Jew" when he wins the World Cup.
  • Ziggler beat Apollo Crews in a sub-5 minute match in which Apollo largely dominated, and Ziggler won after doing his beloved superkick into an exhausted flop pin spot.
  • Undertaker and Kane came out and gave an oddly slow and lumbering promo in which they mentioned Crown Jewel (and got booed) before finally getting a pop when they called out DX.
  • Triple H came out to the DX music to a big pop, but Shawn was nowhere to be seen. Kane got out of the ring to go attack them, but then Taker realized what was happening and turned around and took a swing at HBK, who ducked and hit the Sweet Chin Music to knock him down.
  • Triple H and HBK retreated up the ramp celebrating, but were left surprised (somehow) when Undertaker suddenly sat up apparently none the worse for wear.
  • The fact WWE are still doing the Saudi Arabia show is a goddamn travesty.
____________________________

Smackdown Results:
  • AJ Styles came to the ring to a big reaction, which makes sense given the show was taking place in Atlanta. He called out Daniel Bryan, saying he had something he wanted to get off his chest.
  • Bryan came out to a good reaction and there were dueling chants, but this was clearly AJ's home turf. Bryan told AJ not to apologize for accidentally hitting him last week but AJ corrected him, he DID deliberately hit him and is going to do it again at Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia. Bryan said they didn't need to wait, they could fight right now.
  • Shane McMahon returned, saying that he was back to run things differently, and so AJ vs. Bryan would happen tonight... right now!
  • AJ Styles defeated Daniel Bryan in a great back and forth match in which both guys looked excellent but the crowd was - while not against Bryan - firmly in AJ's corner. Finally AJ was able to lock in the Calf Crusher and get the submission win.
  • AJ and Bryan hugged in the middle of the ring postmatch, only for both to be jumped out of nowhere by Samoa Joe who beat the poo poo out of both of them, knocking out Bryan and posing with AJ's belt.
  • Daniel Bryan, like his once-to-be brother-in-law John Cena, will NOT be going to Saudi Arabia.
  • Backstage, both Miz and Jeff Hardy did promos promising to win the World Cup at Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia.
  • Paige meet with Charlotte Flair (who was booed) backstage, and asked Charlotte to be captain of the Smackdown Women's Team at Survivor Series. Charlotte declined, saying she isn't the right person for the job.
  • BIG E defeated Cesaro in a Trick or Street Fight to celebrate Halloween, with the rest of New Day and The Bar at ringside. New Day were dressed as The Brood (and came out to their music). It descended into chaos, as it must, with pancakes, pumpkins, apple bobbing and blood-red mist involved.
  • Shane met backstage with Orton, Miz, Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio to discuss the World Cup at Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia. He warned them that if any of them made it to the final and LOST, they would be fired.
  • AJ Styles demanded Paige give him Samoa Joe at Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia since he'd dealt with Bryan now. Paige agreed.
  • R-Truth replaced an injured Tye Dillinger for a non-title match against US Champion Shinsuke Nakamura. Nakamura still won. Most notable part of the match was the Carmella dance break.
  • Women's Champion Becky Lynch, fresh off a MOTYC at Evolution, strutted to the ring in a "I Am The Man" t-shirt and bragged to an adoring crowd about her victory. She pointed out her match was clearly the REAL main event of the show, and promised that at Survivor Series against Raw Women's Champion Ronda Rousey, she would tear Ronda's arm off.
  • Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy defeated The Miz and Randy Orton in a tag match main event, with Rey getting..... THE HOT TAG and running wild before effectively teaming with Jeff to hit Miz with the 619 to set up Jeff hitting Miz with the Swanton and getting the pinfall.
  • Post-match, Orton RKOed Hardy and then did the same to Rey as he tried to hit a springboard splash. Miz celebrated besides Orton to end the show... at which point of course Orton hit Miz with the RKO.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 08:43 on Oct 31, 2018

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ijii
Mar 17, 2007
I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.
So how many more times is Tamina and Nia going to have a stare down?

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

I'd be surprised at any man being able to sit up at Undertaker's age. That's some strong core muscles.

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002

The Revival lost to the jobbers of 205 Live?? ahahahahahahahaha

CreedThoughts
Sep 24, 2007
Thanks, I've never owned a refrigerator

ijii posted:

So how many more times is Tamina and Nia going to have a stare down?

Before Tamina goes out with another injury?

Twice.

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008
lord please give us rollins/nakamura

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED
https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1057092048187285504

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
lol so how long until nia's title shot is quietly forgotten

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
I watched like half of Raw and then turned it off because it was pretty boring

I played Red Dead instead, which is pretty cool

Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED

Raskolnikov38 posted:

lol so how long until nia's title shot is quietly forgotten

Hopefully.....now

GrimGypsy
Mar 27, 2007

I haven't watched a lot of raw lately but this one seemed particularly uhhh bad. Not just in terms of the action and whatever, but pacing and overall choice in segments. That Seth/Dean thing sure doesn't feel like the huge deal it should.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




GrimGypsy posted:

I haven't watched a lot of raw lately but this one seemed particularly uhhh bad. Not just in terms of the action and whatever, but pacing and overall choice in segments. That Seth/Dean thing sure doesn't feel like the huge deal it should.

They're in full booking panic mode. Cena finally said 'no' to something, Roman's gone, and if the rumors are right they have to write Bryan out tomorrow night as well.

JK!
May 10, 2007

EZ-PZ!
I didn't watch RAW because I was playing Lego DC Super-Villains and watching Vidiots. Did Renee totally back her husband with what he did?

bartok
May 10, 2006



Instead of Raw I ended up watching this pretty bad horror comedy with Chance the Rapper in it called Slice and then had to cleanse myself with a good horror comedy so I watched Return of the Living Dead for like the hundredth time.

Ratedargh
Feb 20, 2011

Wow, Bob, wow. Fire walk with me.
I fast forwarded through the PVR recording of Raw, stopping...occasionally (Elias was fun) and was relieved that I forgot to set it for the overrun so I missed DX and Bros. of Destruction. What a stagnant piece of garbage this show was.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

JK! posted:

I didn't watch RAW because I was playing Lego DC Super-Villains and watching Vidiots. Did Renee totally back her husband with what he did?

She didn't say anything

Jetfire
Apr 29, 2008
So uh, Seth and Dean are still tag champs? Did they mention this at all?

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Codependent Poster posted:

She didn't say anything

they should let her have graves' gimmick of switching alignments for one specific wrestler

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Jetfire posted:

So uh, Seth and Dean are still tag champs? Did they mention this at all?

From memory they replayed the victory and then the "betrayal", and then spent the entire time talking about the "betrayal" and nothing else.

PASS THE MASH
Oct 30, 2013


Jetfire posted:

So uh, Seth and Dean are still tag champs? Did they mention this at all?

They haven’t decided which set of comedy jobbers they’re giving the tag belts to so they’re keeping quiet

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

Stopped watching after the first 45 minutes or so was garbage and showing no signs of getting better

Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush need to be released and never rehired

rovert
Jun 10, 2013
Haven't watched Raw yet. Someone told me a Hulk Hogan/Crown Jewel commercial was going to air. I assume it didn't

rovert
Jun 10, 2013

Mr. Carlisle posted:

Stopped watching after the first 45 minutes or so was garbage and showing no signs of getting better

Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush need to be released and never rehired

Larry Csonka gave the show a 2 out of 10. Seemed like the Raw after WWE Evolution was like the comedown after ECW One Night Stand was.

https://411mania.com/wrestling/csonkas-wwe-raw-review-10-29-18/

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"


What was the last good raw

Vandar
Sep 14, 2007

Isn't That Right, Chairman?



Mr. Carlisle posted:

Stopped watching after the first 45 minutes or so was garbage and showing no signs of getting better

Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush need to be released and never rehired

MAH MAN

MAH MAN

BOBBEH LASHLEY

NO ONE LOOKS LIKE HIM

HE LOOKS LIKE MONEY

HE SMELLS LIKE MONEY

:suicide:

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Hey, where is Crown Jewel taking place and why is it at 9am on a Friday?

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

Hey, where is Crown Jewel taking place and why is it at 9am on a Friday?

It's taking place in Redacted Arena, near Parts Unknown.

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
Please insert this image into the OP, Jerusalem.


https://twitter.com/KairiSaneWWE/status/1056761948610674688?s=09

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002

Fat Lowtax posted:

What was the last good raw

Gauntlet match.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

is pepsi ok posted:

Gauntlet match.

Can confirm; I was there. It was something else.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Gonz posted:

It's taking place in Redacted Arena, near Parts Unknown.

Oh, weird. I hope Becky Lynch is there. No wonder John Cena doesn't want to go Parts Unknown sounds spooky

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

bartok posted:

Instead of Raw I ended up watching this pretty bad horror comedy with Chance the Rapper in it called Slice and then had to cleanse myself with a good horror comedy so I watched Return of the Living Dead for like the hundredth time.

I saw that on Amazon Prime...is that Chance movie really that bad?

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

just watch return of the living dead instead

Seams
Feb 3, 2005

ROCK HARD
lio rush and bobby lashley are cool and good imo

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
Only a matter of time before one of the Saudi money marks demands an appearance by the Ultimate Warrior.

Vince'll get some guy who looks vaguely like him, put the facepaint on the guy, and then have him cut the Warrior promo about kicking down the cockpit door and taking control of the plane.

All of this will happen in front of Ho Kogan.

PASS THE MASH
Oct 30, 2013


Gonz posted:

Only a matter of time before one of the Saudi money marks demands an appearance by the Ultimate Warrior.

Vince'll get some guy who looks vaguely like him, put the facepaint on the guy, and then have him cut the Warrior promo about kicking down the cockpit door and taking control of the plane.

All of this will happen in front of Ho Kogan.

I believe Yokozuna and Ultimate Warrior were requested for the GRR. That’s why there was a random sumo guy

bartok
May 10, 2006



TV Zombie posted:

I saw that on Amazon Prime...is that Chance movie really that bad?

It's a cool premise they don't really do anything with so more of a bummer than outright terrible.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
You can't be serious!

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

is pepsi ok posted:

The Revival lost to the jobbers of 205 Live?? ahahahahahahahaha

frankenfreak posted:

You can't be serious!

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Midnightghoul
Oct 1, 2003

COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED
that lucha house party match was so good that drew carey showed up

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