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I was in this traffic jam yesterday and it was because of the left lane closing so everyone started merging right. Except for Fuckwad Mcfuckstain who decided that he was now the traffic cop that would enforce everyone merging to the right. Listen, if everyone merges early you're unnecessarily extending the length of one lane traffic and wasting everyone's time. Learn to loving zipper merge, and also don't impede traffic or I will pass you on the shoulder like I would a deer carcass, which has more value than you On the bright side, when people do this it let's me zip around traffic cop Jr and shoot all the way to the front and merge at the last second, skipping all the traffic.
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Nov 12, 2018 18:38
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 07:13 |
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oh im edward mcfuckstain i didnt realize i was in the wrong but you've convinced me i apologize and may god have mercy on my soul
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Nov 12, 2018 18:39
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oh im edward mcfuckstain i didnt realize i was in the wrong but you've convinced me i apologize and may god have mercy on my soul
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Nov 12, 2018 18:40
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oh im edward mcfuckstain i didnt realize i was in the wrong but you've convinced me i apologize and may god have mercy on my soul
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Nov 12, 2018 18:41
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oh im edward mcfuckstain i didnt realize i was in the wrong but you've convinced me i apologize and may god have mercy on my soul
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Nov 12, 2018 18:43
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I was driving the other day in a construction zone that had a ton of signage telling people to form one lane, lane ends in 250m merge right now, lane ends in 50m merge right now, etc One lady zoomed down the left lane past everyone and then started to nose her way in at the end. The first few people didn't let her go, so she just refused to stop moving and forced the guy in front of me to let her in. gently caress people like that.
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Nov 12, 2018 18:53
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i hate zipper merging, op, slow and steady does it for me love, edward mcfuckstain
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Nov 12, 2018 18:55
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Just walk bitch
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Nov 12, 2018 18:58
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Professor Shark posted:
im no traffic expert but i feel this is the flaw in the zipper merge. its great in theory but in practice you end up with the one normal lane going normal speed and then a lane of people going 15 over that all trying to zipper merge at once
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Nov 12, 2018 18:59
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op is right you loving morons
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Nov 12, 2018 19:01
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I zipper merge with my middle finger held high.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:03
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Autistic Edgy Guy posted:im no traffic expert but i feel this is the flaw in the zipper merge. its great in theory but in practice you end up with the one normal lane going normal speed and then a lane of people going 15 over that all trying to zipper merge at once
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Nov 12, 2018 19:06
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why do I need to learn this when flying cars are just around the corner op
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Nov 12, 2018 19:07
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OLD PEOPLE. DRIVING.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:12
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btw mods plz rename me to edward mcfuckstain
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Nov 12, 2018 19:15
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Autistic Edgy Guy posted:im no traffic expert but i feel this is the flaw in the zipper merge. its great in theory but in practice you end up with the one normal lane going normal speed and then a lane of people going 15 over that all trying to zipper merge at once  red car is edward mcfuckstain, blue is me. left lane ends 1/2 mile ahead. he is trying to get the people behind him to merge early, because he's a degenerate cocksickle. so i pass him on the shoulder and shoot straight to the front of the line baby! Dolphin fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Nov 12, 2018 |
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Nov 12, 2018 19:17
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Dolphin posted:I was in this traffic jam yesterday and it was because of the left lane closing so everyone started merging right. Except for Fuckwad Mcfuckstain who decided that he was now the traffic cop that would enforce everyone merging to the right. I'm the guy that doesn't let you in
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Nov 12, 2018 19:20
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raton posted:I'm the guy that doesn't let you in
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Nov 12, 2018 19:22
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I honestly, unironically wish pain and pestilence on the people who create hour-long delays because they either din't know how to zipper, or they slow down to 1/4 the limit because there was an accident on the other side of the highway median.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:22
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Dolphin posted:that's what a zipper merge is though, the fast people merging at the last second are doing it correctly No And it doesn't help things go faster despite the deep aspie belief that it must
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Nov 12, 2018 19:23
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Just lol if you ever go above the posted speed limit on the highway. You retard.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:23
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How to merge into one lane when the signs are warning you that a merge is less than 500m ahead: line up your car with an empty spot to the side and merge. Realize that the physical demands of the road will force everyone into one lane and following distances will make that pinch point move at the same speed no matter if the merge was done piecemeal over the previous 500m or all at once at the choke point, except for instances where an accident occurs, which is much more likely in the latter process.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:29
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raton posted:How to merge into one lane when the signs are warning you that a merge is less than 500m ahead: line up your car with an empty spot to the side and merge. Realize that the physical demands of the road will force everyone into one lane and following distances will make that pinch point move at the same speed no matter if the merge was done piecemeal over the previous 500m or all at once at the choke point, except for instances where an accident occurs, which is much more likely in the latter process. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cX0I8OdK7Tk Dolphin fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Nov 12, 2018 |
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Nov 12, 2018 19:34
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Dolphin posted:i'm tailgating you with my brights on now tho My truck cost $300 and I give no fucks, crash into me if you like, I'm still not letting you in.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:37
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Why is everyone ITT misreading "fuckwad" as "edward"
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Nov 12, 2018 19:40
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JnnyThndrs posted:My truck cost $300 and I give no fucks, crash into me if you like, I'm still not letting you in. 
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Nov 12, 2018 19:41
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Was set up to do a sweet zipper merge on the interstate and was getting hype. Then some bigass truck that was oblivious to everyone's spacing decided to roar in right at the merge point blaring Rob Zombie's Dragula and traffic ground to a halt.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:42
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Devils Affricate posted:Why is everyone ITT misreading "fuckwad" as "edward" i read it as edwad
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Nov 12, 2018 19:42
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Devils Affricate posted:Why is everyone ITT misreading "fuckwad" as "edward" posting while not merging sorry
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Nov 12, 2018 19:43
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what about a reverse zipper merge when you're getting on the highway and the person behind you tries passing you while still inside the solid lines before you have merged yourself and basically prevents you from entering the highway without almost dying? People love to do that poo poo up here and I will speed up and brake check their asses for as long as I can because I am also Fuckwad Mcfuckstain but I do not apologize, praise hell Satan
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Nov 12, 2018 20:05
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get the gently caress out of my way!!!
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Nov 12, 2018 20:17
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Chinatown posted:get the gently caress out of my way!!! just flash your lights and honk while flipping me off. That's all it takes.
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Nov 12, 2018 20:22
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 Zip this
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Nov 12, 2018 20:23
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oh im edward mcfuckstain i didnt realize i was in the wrong but you've convinced me i apologize and may god have mercy on my soul
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Nov 12, 2018 20:24
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Tinfoil Papercut posted:
one of the few time I pray for cops to be around. oh man
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Nov 12, 2018 20:24
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brake checking tailgaters rules
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Nov 12, 2018 20:26
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Dolphin posted:okay but what you're really saying here is you're an rear end in a top hat who likes to delay everyone and cause hazardous driving conditions because you feel like people are trying to cut in line, when really you don't know how to merge correctly and everything is your fault I let one person and one person only merge in front of me. The next dude that tries can eat a steaming bowl of dicks.
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Nov 12, 2018 20:27
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LOL, if you aren't gunning your Hummer H3 and intimidating everyone in front of you to let you pass.
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Nov 12, 2018 20:34
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heh agreed op, but whats most bizarre is (let one in, move forward) that its the most obvious and logical way to do it without being taught a single god drat thing, so to do something other than that in a real stop and go situation with a merge means youre either really loving stupid or a gigantic prick so i dunno if its worth "teaching" anyone such a thing as theyd just forget or figure out a way to make it even worse for everyone, depending on which type
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Nov 12, 2018 20:35
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 07:13 |
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Okay so hoping someone can help me with this, I was driving through Colorado on an interstate and some doofus like 5 miles ahead dumped some hay bales off of his truck and only one lane was getting through. So there were signs and poo poo saying a lane was closed ahead, but everyone IMMEDIATELY got out of the right lane and into the left lane, leaving the right late completely open and absolutely loving traffic flow. I'd never seen anything like it. We had a 14 hour drive that day and I didn't much feel like donating an hour of my time to mountain dwelling yokels that have never heard of a zipper merge so we just stayed in the right lane, planning on being there until the lane actually closed. But we only got maybe a km down the backup when some guy cut out into the right lane to block us from going any further, as if we were the ones being cunts. Which I mean, we were blowing past a bunch of cars but what the gently caress was going on? Once we merged behind this guy, not a single car passed us on our right. I'd never seen anything like it. Is this a weird Colorado thing?
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Nov 12, 2018 20:39
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