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RabbitWizard posted:Well, what do you want to know? So were you adults when communications broke down? Or were you still technically children? As I mentioned already, contact goes both ways. Did he ignore your calls or did you not really bother after a few failed attempts? Sounds to me like this is you trying to teach him a lesson for not talking with you as an adult.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:39
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I wouldnt want to keep in touch with the child who drove a wedge between my wife and I and ruined my marriage either
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Nov 20, 2018 22:40
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ELO Musk posted:Oh no? Then why is it you're so willing to poo poo on him when he reaches out to let you know he's dying? I was calling him to check if he is still alive, because I didn't know.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:40
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fakeaccount posted:You should hold onto your grudge so that, after he dies and is no longer available for you to ever speak with again, you can find yourself blindsided by regret and guilt about how you gave up on him, and wake up every day with sudden thoughts about how you could have done something differently, but now you can't anymore. Do that and you'll be a very happy person. can confirm
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Nov 20, 2018 22:40
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Also is stopping child support in you and your sister's teens really the worst thing that he did? Because I gotta tell ya that's pretty tame and probably not worth the level of contempt that you currently have.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:41
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I mean poo poo dude, there are dads that leave their kids outside of fire stations and you're gonna act like he's the Hitler of dads because he didn't help you fill out a 1040EZ form?
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Nov 20, 2018 22:45
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RabbitWizard posted:Oh. Maybe that wasn't clear. He had the colon cancer like 4 years ago. Today he told me he had another cancer. He wasn't reaching out to me. Could be shame preventing him from calling you or he could be exactly as you describe, can't rightly say. I'm not going to judge you based on anything you do or say and if you ignore everything I post so be it. Please think about it, though? Don't want to do yourself dirty like that.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:46
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You sound really indulgent OP
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Nov 20, 2018 22:47
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Wrath of the Bitch King posted:So were you adults when communications broke down? Or were you still technically children? As I mentioned already, contact goes both ways. Did he ignore your calls or did you not really bother after a few failed attempts? I tried to contact him, multiple times. I even succeeded and we met. For half a year or something. I'm tired. This is my last try. I don't want to teach him a lesson. I want to see what he thinks "having children" means. While he is alive.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:48
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I guess you could say the OP has some Daddy issues 
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Nov 20, 2018 22:48
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So the student has become the master?
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Nov 20, 2018 22:48
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RabbitWizard posted:I tried to contact him, multiple times. I even succeeded and we met. For half a year or something. Why give him the chance when clearly nothing will ever be good enough for you?
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Nov 20, 2018 22:50
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RabbitWizard posted:I tried to contact him, multiple times. I even succeeded and we met. For half a year or something. Ok, you were raised into an adult. He accomplished the dad thing. Anything beyond that is a bonus and not required, he did his job. I'm not going to tell you to not be bitter since nobody has the right to tell you how to feel, but I think myself and lot of other posters here have experienced far, far worse with their respective families and are having a hard time understanding the degree of your distress.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:51
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I don't know why you want anything to do with him. Maybe you like being repeatedly let down? He sounds like a jerk, and you sound like you want him to not be. But...he's always gonna be like he is, so I'd stop setting yourself up for disappointment. Be free.
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Nov 20, 2018 23:17
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RabbitWizard posted:I want to see what he thinks "having children" means. While he is alive. Yeah, I think he has already shown you what he thinks it means. I don't see you getting an apology or closure or whatever from him. Sorry. Them's the breaks, kid.
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Nov 20, 2018 23:21
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My dad's side of the family finally got the memo after me not going to anything for 5 years and stopped inviting me. My mom still gets invites and goes like wtf he cheated on you and left you in financial ruin working 3 jobs for years why do you even give them the time of day
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Nov 20, 2018 23:31
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better the devil you know, you know?
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Nov 20, 2018 23:34
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fukin lol what a baby
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Nov 20, 2018 23:37
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dad bad so what
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Nov 20, 2018 23:38
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I too, have some childhood drama and haven't been dealing with it. It's fine most of the time, but occasionally it gets brought up into my mind, and I suffer a full on brake down, and I worry I might turn some of this undirected fury at people I actually care about. I hope finding some closure might prevent this but so far I have been unwilling to seek it out. It's easier to hold on to that idea, that you're in the right, even though you know all parties involved are being hurt.
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Nov 20, 2018 23:55
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op I tried for years to get back in contact with my biological father, he seemed like a good dude just didn't want the responsibility of a child I realised that I wouldn't actually get anything out of an ongoing relationship so I struck him from the record books and moved on perhaps rather than dwell on things which could have been you spend that time and energy being a good brother to your sister and a better role model for your family that he ever was it's sorta weird that as an adult you are moping around after another adult who, quite plainly, wants nothing to do with you...
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Nov 20, 2018 23:55
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find a new dad on backpage
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Nov 21, 2018 00:02
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onedayholiday posted:find a new daddy on backpage
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Nov 21, 2018 00:03
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If a family member sucks that bad cut them off forever. gently caress it. Life’s too short to waste on awful people, even if you share some genes.
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Nov 21, 2018 00:03
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Offer to suck his dick, then maybe you'll finally achieve that familial bond thats been missing all these years.
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Nov 21, 2018 00:06
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Maybe the dude has some kind of anxiety? Maybe he has his own, actual, childhood trauma (a loving lot more common in those days) impacting him? I reread all your posts and I'm still convinced you're being a baby, maybe have an actual conversation and express your feelings, crossing your arms vs a dying person trying to make amends is pretty hosed up.
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Nov 21, 2018 00:06
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You sound like an angsty teenager OP.
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Nov 21, 2018 00:09
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you are a full on bitch op how are you even alive and existing as an independent adult if this basic low grade poo poo has crippled you emotionally
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Nov 21, 2018 00:25
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You called him? Every drat night? On the telephone?
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Nov 21, 2018 00:45
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gently caress these guys; exacting emotional revenge on a shithead in their dying days is the best possible scenario vis a vis dying shitheads.
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Nov 21, 2018 00:47
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OP you'll understand one day when you decide to ghost on your bitchmade child once your obligations are fulfilled.
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Nov 21, 2018 00:48
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gently caress, I'd abandon you too, OP
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Nov 21, 2018 00:53
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Sounds like you're just like your dad, OP. Maybe have a kid so he can resent you, too.
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Nov 21, 2018 01:05
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getting drunk and abandoning this thread is a good way to show gbs that you totally aren't your father's son
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Nov 21, 2018 01:19
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Maybe you should have been the proactive force in maintaining contact if it meant so much to you. Dads can be depressed introverted losers just as much as younger people, especially if they are dealing with years of illness. If no one in the family has your number but this is the worst trauma you can muster to justify it then probably you are the inexplicably aggressive bitter weirdo they all wish well but assume doesn't want to be contacted. You: drunkenly yelling at a dying man, wailing incoherently and complaining he doesn't sound emotional enough and is therefore an unfeeling robot who doesn't care about you. Your dad: trying to reason with a raving lunatic, putting own personal hurt aside and deliberately restraining emotional reactivity to avoid further exciting you, or maybe just talking like a normal person and therefore failing to satisfy the demands of your more "theatrical" personality.
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Nov 21, 2018 01:19
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Unless he was tingling your dingle or landing daily haymakers on you I'm not sure why you're so supremely pissed off at the old man, OP. Not talking for years sucks, but it really sounds like you're returning a disproportionate amount of hate.
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Nov 21, 2018 02:00
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gently caress that guy, just move onto the next dude that shot huge ropey loads up into your mom and see if he’s any nicer.
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Nov 21, 2018 02:35
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Giraffe posted:gently caress that guy, just move onto the next dude that shot huge ropey loads up into your mom and see if he’s any nicer. ya pm me op
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Nov 21, 2018 03:03
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e/n is thattaway OP
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Nov 21, 2018 03:04
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lol if you posted:getting drunk and abandoning this thread is a good way to show gbs that you totally aren't your father's son lol (if you)
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Nov 21, 2018 03:21
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