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Mayor Dave
Feb 20, 2009

Mary had a little lamb



my last meal was ground beef with cheese and ketchup, if you manage to gently caress that up you're probably a trump-level intellect

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Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008



College Slice

crazy cloud posted:

not in cspam it's not

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006


i like that the weather is cold enough to warrant making like 3 gallons of stew at a time with lots of potatoes and carrots and onions and beans and garlic and ginger and chilis and reduced stock with a cucumber salad on the side.


trump is gonna make produce so loving expensive and thats going to suck bigly

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




Beans:

1500 calories per pound, about $1 per pound dry. The choice of the proletariat.

Toss a pound of dry beans in a slow cooker or pressure cooker. Add enough water to cover them by about 2 inches. Add a teaspoon of salt, a bay leaf, an onion sliced in half, and a few cloves of garlic.

If using a slow cooker, set to low and wait eight hours. Beans!

If using a pressure cooker, just hit the "beans" button, maybe push out the time a little (extra 5-10 minutes).

Store in their cooking liquid, I like to freeze them in 1.5 cup batches in ziplock bags (that's about what's in a can).

For black beans, adding about 1/4 cup OJ to the cooking liquid gives you awesome citrus flavor. Adding a jalapeño gives them a nice kick.

Rice:

Eat brown rice. It is WAY better for you than white rice. Buy at local ethnic grocery stores, it'll be cheapest, and supports locals over chain stores. I prefer brown bismati. 1 lb for about $1, 1650 Cal per pound.

Put 1 cup of rice in a cooker or pot. Add 2.5 cups of water. Use broth if possible, for flavor. I also like to add some creole seasoning for kick. Quick frying some cumin seeds in oil and adding the cumin and oil gives it a great flavor too.

Hit the button on a rice cooker (seriously, just buy a cheap one from Goodwill or whatever, it'll pay for itself super quick) or bring the water plus rice to a boil, reduce to a simmer, cover, and simmer 40-50 min, remove from heat and let stand 5 minutes, then fluff with a fork.

Make both ahead of time. Stick rice in fridge, freeze beans, defrosting as needed. Mix rice and beans, add any kind of sauce (hot sauce, salsa, peanut butter + hot sauce + oil, tahini + miso + oil, etc). Add roasted veggies on top. Eat.

You can live off of beans + rice + veggies for a long time, so long as you're eating a variety of veggies and also getting b12 from somewhere.

Spending money on rice + beans + veggies avoids a shitton of added sugar, packaging, marketing, and cruelty endemic in all the consumerist bullshit that fills most aisles of grocery stores.

Crakkerjakk has issued a correction as of 02:20 on Nov 27, 2018

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

Speaking of rice and beans, tomorrow I'll be making Cilantro Lime Rice topped with Feijoada (Brazilian black bean stew) and I'll be posting the results. It'd be very nice if it comes out right, since the ingredients are so cheap.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





I thought you weren't supposed to fridge plain cooked rice because of listeria?

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

Peanut President posted:

I thought you weren't supposed to fridge plain cooked rice because of listeria?

I thought the listeria risk was from leaving it on the counter overnight. Leaving cooked rice in the fridge overnight is considered standard practice for cooking fried rice.

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

medio de fonte leporum surgo amariter




help i can't stop making breakfast. i just made a giant skillet full of hash browns, sausage and scrambled egg i'm using for breakfast tacos, but now i'm thinking of using the leftover sausage for sausage patties. i have a green pepper that i'll cut into rings; i'll brown each side of the ring and then fry an egg in the middle. combined with a biscuit or english muffin, that's a dang good sandwich

also thinking about trying out my new black friday $7 waffle iron before i go to bed

Doc Walrus posted:

I thought the listeria risk was from leaving it on the counter overnight. Leaving cooked rice in the fridge overnight is considered standard practice for cooking fried rice.

yeah i even leave the lid off so it gets drier

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

medio de fonte leporum surgo amariter




stir fry tip: buy a bag of MSG, it loving owns

ur in my world now
Jun 5, 2006

Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was




Smellrose

if you want something filling and tasty for cheap, you can't go wrong with poor redneck food like beans and cornbread or hoppin' john

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

i say swears online posted:

help i can't stop making breakfast. i just made a giant skillet full of hash browns, sausage and scrambled egg i'm using for breakfast tacos, but now i'm thinking of using the leftover sausage for sausage patties. i have a green pepper that i'll cut into rings; i'll brown each side of the ring and then fry an egg in the middle. combined with a biscuit or english muffin, that's a dang good sandwich

also thinking about trying out my new black friday $7 waffle iron before i go to bed


yeah i even leave the lid off so it gets drier

You're a loose breakfast cannon. I need to cook ring shaped things with eggs in the middle more often.

lousy hat
Jul 17, 2004

bone appetit

Clapping Larry

Doc Walrus posted:

I thought the listeria risk was from leaving it on the counter overnight. Leaving cooked rice in the fridge overnight is considered standard practice for cooking fried rice.

one night should be fine for avoiding listeria but donít let it hang around too long. Listeria will grow slowly at fridge temps, so the sooner you can freeze or eat it, the better.

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




lousy hat posted:

one night should be fine for avoiding listeria but don’t let it hang around too long. Listeria will grow slowly at fridge temps, so the sooner you can freeze or eat it, the better.

My rule of thumb is stick it in the fridge within four hours of cooking, and keep in the fridge for no more than three days. If you get it in the fridge quicker than four hours, you can probably stretch that to five days.

I prep it in bowls and take it to work in my lunchbox, and toss it if for some reason I don't manage to eat it by the end if the day. So max time unrefrigerated about 12 hours.

Crakkerjakk has issued a correction as of 12:18 on Nov 27, 2018

paul_soccer10
Mar 28, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


i made this on sunday!!!!!! it's tasty!!! and cheap
https://thefinancialdiet.com/chelseas-take-a-break-from-takeout-dan-dan-noodles/

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010




I've eaten nothing but McDonald's hamburgers for every meal for the last 6 months. I'm killing myself in the most passive aggressive way possible. Pray for me.

twoday
May 4, 2005




DIY Stocks, Bone Broths, and Bouillon Cubes;
or, “How to Cook Garbage”




What is it?

Broth and stocks are the liquid essence of boiled meat and/or vegetables. These are very tasty and serve as the bases of soups. But the real treasure here is the homemade Bouillon Cubes, which are made by concentrating those liquids into dense solid cubes. Once you have those you can add them to just about any other dish you’re cooking, from rice to a sauce to a stew, and it will instantly taste 10 times better. You can buy premade bouillon cubes, but they are mostly just salt and msg and suck rear end compared to what I am about to describe.

Why should you do this?

- Makes everything taste better.
- Takes very little effort or cooking skill, just a bit of time. But if you make cubes, you will do this once and then have enough cubes to last you for several months. It will save you time later, though.
- If you cook reasonably often you don’t even have to buy anything, because this can be made with scraps that are usually discarded when cooking. So it’s even better than free, because you are generating value from waste. You are also reducing the amount of waste you produce, which is generally a good practice and saves you money.
- It’s healthy. Vegetable scraps such as carrot peels are rich in nutrients. Bone broth is especially rich in collagen, a nutrient that is essential to the health of connective tissue in the joints and spine, which doesn’t usually feature very strongly in the typical modern western diet. If you have back or wrist pain, one reason could be that your skeletal system is hosed up due to lack of collagen. It really helps!

You will need:

- A pot of water
- a whole bunch of garbage (see below)
- ziplock bags or some kind of storage container
- a baking tray and oven
- a freezer and ice cube tray



Step 1: Accumulate trash

So, you could just go out and buy the ingredients for stock, but like I said the cool thing is that you can also just accumulate them naturally by saving up scraps. Set aside a bag or storage container in your freezer, and save up the following garbage:

For beef broth - beef bones, and shanks, any tissue rich in bones and cartilage. Beef is probably the only one you actually have to buy the bones for, rather than just saving up scraps.

For pork broth or tonkatsu - buy bone in pork chops, cut out the bones and save them

For vegetable broth - carrot peels, celery asses, onion peels (and asses), pumpkin rinds, shiitake stems, broccoli trunk, asparagus base, etc. also that extra half of an onion that you aren’t going to use, and any other extra stuff. Whenever you’re cooking anything with vegetables, set a tiny bit aside for the broth bag.

For chicken broth - buy bone in chicken thighs and set aside the bones before cooking them. Set aside a chicken wing, or cut off the wing tips from a whole chicken. Another chicken garbage trick is to roast a whole chicken, eat the meat, and then boil the remnants of the carcass for broth. Some skin is fine, but the more skin, the fattier your broth will be so watch out.

For seafood - any extra piece of fish, fish heads and tails (the heads make great broth),some shrimp, also shrimp peels, shells from crabs, crayfish, lobsters, shellfish, etc. once again, if you filet a fish yourself, keep the bones. Pretty much anything from the ocean will do. In Croatia they eat a soup where the broth is made by boiling a barnacle and seaweed encrusted rock, and the flavor comes from various invisibly tiny sea critters that live in the porous surface of the rock.



Feel free to add vegetables to the meat ones.

Step 2: Roast Garbage
This is important! Do not skip!

Rich flavor comes from Maillard Reactions. Food contains some chemicals that give it a flavor. When these chemicals break down either due to ripening or the application of heat, they turn into a rainbow of other closely related chemicals that give it a richer flavor. This is why a cooked onion tastes better than a raw one, why toast has a different taste than bread, etc.

So, once you’ve saved up enough scraps and you want to make broth, start by dumping them onto a tray and roasting them in the oven till they start to brown, but not necessarily cook all the way. But feel free to roast the poo poo out of them if you want a stronger broth.



Step 3: Boil Roasted Garbage

Fill your biggest pot with water and roasted garbage, and boil, with lid on. Don’t add salt!

Boiling times:

Vegetables - 1 hour
Seafood - 1 hour
Chicken - 2 hours or more
Pork - 3 hours or more (8-12 hours for tonkatsu)
Beef - 4 to 72 hours

Boiling beef or pork bones takes a long time but is worth it, and tastes better the longer you do it.

Congrats, you have made stock! Use it at this point if you want, or continue with the next step.

Step 4: Cube Storage

Remove the lid, turn on very high heat and let the water evaporate. If you are making animal broth it will become gelatinous at some point, because it’s literally gelatin. That’s collagen!

Stir when it is approaching this state, don’t let burn.



Now pour into ice cube trays and let it cool off on the counter before putting it in the freezer, or your freezer will fill with steam that will turn into ice all over the place.

Once the cubes are set, remove them from the ice cube tray and put them in a ziplock bag and back in the freezer.



How to Use:

Throw it into literally everything you cook. Throw a cube in with rice in a rice cooker, or use it as a substitute for the flavor packet in instant noodles, add it to a sauce or stew, mix with boiling water to have instant broth.

~~~~

Pho Cubes (gently caress youbes)

Make a beef or chicken broth as above, except add the following:

- Roasted ginger and shallots (or onions). As an alternative to roasting you can burn them directly a gas range with an old fondue fork like you would roast a marshmallow over a camp fire. It’s ok if they burn a bit, this will give the broth a smokey flavor.
- a whole lot of cinnamon, cloves, coriander seeds, black pepper kernels, and cardamom
Edit: and star anise!
- some fish sauce

Boil for 4 to 8 hours.
Condensed into cubes of you want, then you can have pho whenever you want!

Tonkatsu

Same but pork. Add in ginger, and any combination of onion, garlic, leek, or green onion.

twoday has issued a correction as of 15:07 on Nov 27, 2018

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




Pho cubes should have star anise too, but otherwise cool ideas. I'm gonna start collecting veggie scraps. My problem is I pretty much never peel carrots, and I eat the stems of mushrooms too. rear end ends of asparagus, onions, celery, and the tops of carrots I guess. And then once they're boiled I can still compost them.

Here's a similar idea:

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1017249-amanda-cohens-secret-weapon-stir-fry-sauce

Take the following:

⅔ cup cilantro
⅔ cup parsley
⅔ cup Thai basil
4 cups spinach

Rip off stems, blanch in boiling water for 30 sec, toss in ice bath, then stick it in a blender with this:

2 cloves garlic, peeled
2 tablespoons peeled and chopped fresh ginger

Blend till it's a thick green paste. Freeze in ice cube trays. Add to fried rice, as a soup base, whatever.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


Buttered Noodles

Boil up some Bertolli brand noodles for however long it says to.

Drain

Put a couple spoonfuls of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in with the noodles and stir

Eat out of the pan in the dark

twoday
May 4, 2005




Ah yes, star anise is essential.

There are endless variations, but making flavor cubes ahead of time is a great way to use up leftovers and store your kitchen labor in cube form

crazy cloud
Nov 7, 2012

by Cyrano4747


Lipstick Apathy

Who What Now posted:

Buttered Noodles

Boil up some Bertolli brand noodles for however long it says to.

Drain

Put a couple spoonfuls of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in with the noodles and stir

Eat out of the pan in the dark

hot sauce

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!



Let's not get crazy here, this is a recipe for the average blue collar worker, not professional chefs at Michelin star quality restaurants!

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

twoday posted:

roasted wet garbage in ice trays: a love story

I need to get a big rear end stock pot and start doing this. I'm using some bone-in chops tonight, so that'll be my starting point!

Who Is Paul Blart posted:

I've eaten nothing but McDonald's hamburgers for every meal for the last 6 months. I'm killing myself in the most passive aggressive way possible. Pray for me.

A while back I tried a TRUMP burger to see what it was like. It's a double quarter pounder with its top bun replaced with a fish delight. The grease washed off, but the shame didn't

twoday
May 4, 2005




Doc Walrus posted:

I need to get a big rear end stock pot and start doing this. I'm using some bone-in chops tonight, so that'll be my starting point!

Welcome to the resistance

the bitcoin of weed
Nov 1, 2014

rate my waifu




i turned all of my thanksgiving leftovers into a delicious chili. bird carcass makes a great stock. and you bet your rear end there's beans in that drat turkey chili

bloom
Feb 25, 2017

YOSPOS


I made some pizza and thought I'd share the dough recipe:

6dl durum wheat flour
4dl regular wheat flour
4dl water
4tsp sugar
1tsp salt
11g dry yeast(or 30g fresh yeast)

Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl, heat up water until it feels warm to touch(if you're using fresh yeast mix it in the warm water), pour it in there and knead for about 10min. When the surface of the dough looks fairly smooth it's good. Cover the bowl and let it sit for 20min. This amount makes 4 pizzas that fit in a regular type of oven so cut the dough in four parts, roll into balls and press them into discs. If you're on some kinda diet and don't plan on eating 4 pizzas in one go bag the extra discs and put them in the freezer. Take a disc and flatten it using a rolling pin, put things on it and toss in a 250 celsius oven for 10 minutes.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





who the gently caress measures dry ingredients in deciliters

bloom
Feb 25, 2017

YOSPOS


It's common in recipes over here. Not everyone has a kitchen scale and scooping a deciliter of flour from the bag is fairly simple.

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




bloom posted:

It's common in recipes over here. Not everyone has a kitchen scale and scooping a deciliter of flour from the bag is fairly simple.

Yeah, we tend to use cups over here (which are about 0.25L). Fancy baking tends to be in grams, but most recipes use volume.

Gareth Gobulcoque
Jan 10, 2008





Peanut President posted:

who the gently caress measures dry ingredients in deciliters

The criminally insane, people who voted for jill Stein, and Danes.

Bear Retrieval Unit
Nov 5, 2009



Mudslide Experiment

has someone posted a good recipe for rear end yet?

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

Bear Retrieval Unit posted:

has someone posted a good recipe for rear end yet?

If you're looking to infuse vodka for a party, look no further. Just make sure the rear end is upside down when you incorporate the ingredients

twoday
May 4, 2005




⅝ of a hogshead and that's how I like it

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




One of my engineering classes had us convert volumetric flow into hogsheads per fortnight on an exam because our professor was tired of us loving up unit conversions.

twoday
May 4, 2005




That's a good idea. These systems were intentionally made to be confusing, so that merchants could rip off peasants.

Gareth Gobulcoque
Jan 10, 2008





I had an 80 year old fluid dynamics professor where we did everything in imperial units with our text books from like 1920. It was loving miserable. I frankly don't know how anything got built at all before metric.

R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991

by Nyc_Tattoo



what chinese takeout places are doing dan dan mian????

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

FEIJOADA

HALF PORK
HALF BLACK BEANS
ALL POWER

LGD
Sep 25, 2004



R. Guyovich posted:

what chinese takeout places are doing dan dan mian????

I think most/many of the Szechuan-oriented places in major cities these days

coathat
May 21, 2007





Eat up

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MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos



Look at mr moneybags eating the fancy dry food

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