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Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005





I had some left over mashed potatoes and gravy so I cooked up some chicken fried steaks and chard to eat with the potatoes and gravy for dinner and it was delicious.

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Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

I'm sipping nog. this is also an alcohol thread, because alcohol is food

R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991

by Nyc_Tattoo


LGD posted:

I think most/many of the Szechuan-oriented places in major cities these days

tbf i have not researched this at all and assumed everyone was still doing americanized stuff.

Mayor Dave
Feb 20, 2009

Mary had a little lamb



R. Guyovich posted:

what chinese takeout places are doing dan dan mian????

There are like a dozen places near my place that serve it

R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991

by Nyc_Tattoo


Mayor Dave posted:

There are like a dozen places near my place that serve it

i must investigate.

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




Let's talk about salads.

First, let's talk cost. Greens are one of the most overpriced things you can buy at the grocery store, and also frequently have problems with e. Coli outbreaks due to lovely industrial farming practices (hello Romaine).

Greens also happen to be pretty much the easiest thing in the world to grow. They don't require much sun, much soil, they grow pretty quick, and you can clip off a few leaves at a time so you don't have to get the whole plant to maturity to eat it, and there are an amazing variety of different greens that you will never see at the store because they don't ship well in trucks. Plus fresh greens from your garden are way fresher and more tender than what you buy at the store.

How to grow greens:

1) Get a shallow windowbox to set inside a window that gets some sun but not direct sunlight all day. Preferably something with a tray on the bottom so if you over water the water will pool in the tray instead of in the bottom of the windowbox.
2) Fill with 4" of potting soil.
3) Scatter a seed packet of whatever greens look cool at a garden store, or ask a friend if they have some, or a lot of libraries will host a seed exchange and give away free seeds February-ish.
4) Water, then rake lightly to get some dirt on top of the seeds, but just a light covering.
5) Keep watering every couple days to keep the seeds moist until they sprout.
6) Once they have several leaves, chop the smallest ones off at the surface until you have a few of the bigger plants that are spaced at least 6" apart.
7) Start harvesting leaves off the outside of the plant as they look tasty, but never take all the leaves off the plant.

You can do this in pretty much any climate.

Also sweet potato greens are tasty and pretty and you can plant a sprouted sweet potato from the store in a small pot full of soil and hang it from your ceiling as a decorative houseplant that you can eat.

gently caress iceberg lettuce. It's devoid of any real nutritional value and way harder to grow.

Grow some fuckin' greens. They're good for you, tasty, and it'll make you feel like a dirt-wizard.

Back to actually making salads. How to not suck at salads:

1) Make your own dressing.
2) Put lots of stuff in it.

Okay, so store bought dressings are expensive as hell, and way too many of them are full of sugar. You can make a WAY better dressing yourself, and you can make a bunch of it and it'll keep in the fridge.

Take a mason jar or any empty glass jar with a good lid you've saved and try any of these:

Mustard Vinaigrette:
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 minced garlic clove
1/2 cup olive oil
Sea salt
Ground black pepper.

Put in jar, shake the hell out of it. Double or triple to fill jar, shake the hell out if it again if it's been sitting in the fridge for a while.

Balsamic Vinaigrette
1/2 cup olive oil
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1 clove minced garlic
1 tbsp honey
1 tsp salt
1/4 tap black pepper

Put in jar, shake.

Creamy Italian:
1/4 cup mayo
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
2 tbsp sour cream
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 clove garlic
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp chopped parsley

Put in jar, shake the hell out of it.

Asian Sesame:
2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp honey
1.5 tsp peeled grated ginger
2 tbsp sesame oil
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 tsp salt
Pepper
1/4 tsp garlic powder

Peanut-lime
1/4 cup peanut butter
2 tbsp water
Juice of one lime
1 tbsp rice or white wine vinegar
1 tbsp chopped peeled ginger
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp honey

Put in jar, shake.

Step two to good salads: lots of stuff.

lovely restaurant salads have iceberg lettuce, slivered carrots, a few tomatoes, and some cheese or some poo poo on top. gently caress that.

What do we want in a salad?

1) Colors
2) Textures
3) Protein
4) Fat

Colors are pretty, and full of nutrition. Textures give a variety of mouth feel so you're not just scarfing down leaves. Protein helps keep you full. So does fat.

First, fill a big bowl at least halfway with greens.

Then, chop up some different colored veggies and put em on top. Purple cabbage, carrots, tomatoes, onion (not too much, raw onion tends to be strongly flavored), peppers, cucumber, summer squash, roasted winter squash or tubers, green peas, radishes, broccoli, corn, etc.

Now throw some legumes on it. Cooked lentils it beans. Cubed tofu. Protein. Meat if you're a person that eats that, I suppose.

Now add fat. Avocado, all of the dressings I listed earlier. A handful of seeds or nuts (good for texture as well). Cheese if you must.

If you want, some cubed or sliced fruit works too, sometimes. Apples, oranges, pomegranate seeds, dried stuff like raisins or cranberries or apricots.

Don't eat sad lovely salads.

You can even add in some whole grains to beef it up more.

Anyway. Toss it all together, and eat. I like to make a big salad without dressing, put half in a big bowl, the other half in a casserole dish in the fridge, and add dressing to the bowl, eat it that day and the casserole dish the next day, so all that prep work can go towards a couple meals.

paul_soccer10
Mar 28, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


https://gist.github.com/nylki/1efbaa36635956d35bcc

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

Crakkerjakk posted:

Let's talk about salads.

I need to eat more salads. What oil/vinegar type dressing would you use for a salad that used a roast cashew/ garbanzo mix as its protein? I'll make some tzatziki dressing too of course. Tzatziki goes with goddamn near everything.

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




Doc Walrus posted:

I need to eat more salads. What oil/vinegar type dressing would you use for a salad that used a roast cashew/ garbanzo mix as its protein? I'll make some tzatziki dressing too of course. Tzatziki goes with goddamn near everything.

Roasted cashew & garbanzo sounds vaguely Asian to me, I'd probably do the sesame one. I tend to get stuck on balsamic honestly, it's just easy and good.

Or maybe lemon tahini?

1/2 cup tahini
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 clove garlic
1/2 tsp salt
2/3 cold water

Shake together, let chill for 30 minutes to thicken, thin with a bit more cold water to desired consistency. You can also add up to 3 tbsp of various chopped herbs (dill, cilantro, parsley, tarragon, etc) for something more Herby.

My kind of ideal meal plan which I tend to be too busy to stick to is beans & rice bowls for lunch during the week, big salads for dinner during the week, and then experimenting with other stuff on the weekend. A giant salad a day is pretty good for you and fairly low calorie while still being filling.

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

Crakkerjakk posted:

Roasted cashew & garbanzo sounds vaguely Asian to me, I'd probably do the sesame one. I tend to get stuck on balsamic honestly, it's just easy and good.

Or maybe lemon tahini?

1/2 cup tahini
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 clove garlic
1/2 tsp salt
2/3 cold water

Shake together, let chill for 30 minutes to thicken, thin with a bit more cold water to desired consistency. You can also add up to 3 tbsp of various chopped herbs (dill, cilantro, parsley, tarragon, etc) for something more Herby.

My kind of ideal meal plan which I tend to be too busy to stick to is beans & rice bowls for lunch during the week, big salads for dinner during the week, and then experimenting with other stuff on the weekend. A giant salad a day is pretty good for you and fairly low calorie while still being filling.

"Giant" is what I've been missing out on. I need to get some bigass tupperware and make some salad crates. I've started doing the rice and beans thing for weekdays and it's treating me very well so far. Whenever this 3-pound tub of Feijoada is gone I'm gonna try making Mexican rice for the first time.

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




Doc Walrus posted:

"Giant" is what I've been missing out on. I need to get some bigass tupperware and make some salad crates. I've started doing the rice and beans thing for weekdays and it's treating me very well so far. Whenever this 3-pound tub of Feijoada is gone I'm gonna try making Mexican rice for the first time.

I was doing salads at work for a while, if you have a vacuum sealer you can prep a week's worth of salad in quart mason jars with the heavy ingredients and dressing in the bottom, and it'll stay fresh for 5 days or so and marinate the stuff in the bottom in the dressing. You can stuff a lot of greens into half a quart jar of space or so. But then my vacuum sealer broke.

If you're doing Mexican rice next, check out this frijoles refritos recipe. The Chipotle gives it an awesome smoky flavor:

https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2013/02/spicy-vegan-refried-beans.html

I make it and then freeze a bunch for later. Great just with a lightly toasted tortilla.

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012




Lipstick Apathy

on the stove right now: liver and onions

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006


if you don't have a very big kitchen to prep pretty poo poo in, an 8 quart combination pressure cooker/slow cooker is the cheapest 100 bucks you will ever spend. Buy cheap cuts and do 12psi "braises" in a fifth of the time, make stocks out of gizzards and carcasses with six hours of pressure so those bones are droopy when you strain them, slow cook grains, pressure cook legumes while prepping the veg, use that motherfucker for EVERYTHING.

learn how to part a chicken. heres a complete idiots guide to doing it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEJSHRSJCn8

i take the airline breast, thigh, and drum all in one bit with a single cut to the shoulder, then part the breast and leg quarters out of the half in a kinda martin yan adaptation tho (literally mute this if this is confusing, when you just look at his movements and not focus on his HUBAHUBAHUBAABABABABBABABAEHRHERHRHEHREH patter yan is ASTONISHINGLY slow and actually misses a tenderloin, he's just really efficient because its only four cuts and some pulling to strip a chicken carcass).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7m4XAVmFFI#t=71s

Willie Tomg has issued a correction as of 09:54 on Nov 29, 2018

R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991

by Nyc_Tattoo


BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

on the stove right now: liver and onions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdFd2KmJn-A

twoday
May 4, 2005




Crakkerjakk posted:

Let's talk about salads.

Thanks, I often make one of the same two salads, so these are good things to keep in mind. Especially the vinaigrettes sound nice. I'm gonna make one tonight.

I don't grow lettuce but I make sprouts sometimes. I really like them, and they are supposed to be very healthy. I'm not a fan of alfalfa, but broccoli sprouts are nice, as well as radish. They taste great on sandwiches too. And they are supposedly insanely healthy, especially the broccoli sprouts.

https://passtheplants.com/grow-sprouts-at-home/

twoday
May 4, 2005




BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

on the stove right now: liver and onions

Liver is a good, and it's a great dietary source of liver

If you soak the liver in milk for an hour or so before cooking it, it gets rid of some of the livery taste

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




twoday posted:

Thanks, I often make one of the same two salads, so these are good things to keep in mind. Especially the vinaigrettes sound nice. I'm gonna make one tonight.

I don't grow lettuce but I make sprouts sometimes. I really like them, and they are supposed to be very healthy. I'm not a fan of alfalfa, but broccoli sprouts are nice, as well as radish. They taste great on sandwiches too. And they are supposedly insanely healthy, especially the broccoli sprouts.

https://passtheplants.com/grow-sprouts-at-home/

Yeah, sprouts are awesome. I need to start growing some in the kitchen.

You should totally plant some and grow greens though. Seriously, look at all this crazy stuff:

https://shop.nativeseeds.org/collections/lettuce/products/ts127

https://www.rareseeds.com/store/vegetables/greens/

https://www.seedsavers.org/category/lettuce/department/vegetable-seeds

twoday
May 4, 2005




Where I live, at the moment, we get about 6 hours of sunlight a day, but it's constantly so overcast at this time of year that you have to turn the lights on during the day. I haven't actually seen the sun in weeks

But in the spring, definitely

Plinkey
Aug 4, 2004

What if we were both lizards? And we were both male and in love and we shared a mealworm together?

this is so my poo poo, i'll be back tomorrow motherfuckers

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004


Fun Shoe

french slowcucked onion supe

i cuck the onions, alot of onions, cuck em longitudinally
like, 10 of em, or 15 if they small

butter hella butter, salt sugar brown sugar tyme and bayleafs
then 10 hours of slow cucking (on HIGH)

then beefstock and a bit of brandy then more slowcucking

then serve with home cucked bread with melted cheese

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017




hello cook thread

I have pinned this for the weekend, along with the 8 stupid toxx threads

enjoy

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004


Fun Shoe

please rename to Cucking with C-SPAM

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004


Fun Shoe

seriously lol why did no one tell me there was a cucking thead, most of my posts are about cucking

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012




Lipstick Apathy

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

Baloogan posted:

french slowcucked onion supe

i cuck the onions, alot of onions, cuck em longitudinally
like, 10 of em, or 15 if they small

butter hella butter, salt sugar brown sugar tyme and bayleafs
then 10 hours of slow cucking (on HIGH)

then beefstock and a bit of brandy then more slowcucking

then serve with home cucked bread with melted cheese

what onions do I cuck
what cheese do I melt on the cucked onions
what bread do I sleep with behind its spouse's back, and then serve alongside homemade french slowcucked onion soup

Plinkey
Aug 4, 2004

What if we were both lizards? And we were both male and in love and we shared a mealworm together?

Doc Walrus posted:

what onions do I cuck
what cheese do I melt on the cucked onions
what bread do I sleep with behind its spouse's back, and then serve alongside homemade french slowcucked onion soup

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne2hhWeLSS4

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004


Fun Shoe

Doc Walrus posted:

what onions do I cuck
what cheese do I melt on the cucked onions
what bread do I sleep with behind its spouse's back, and then serve alongside homemade french slowcucked onion soup

cheap onions

cheap cheese

bread that has not obviously been used as a fleshlight

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012

by Fluffdaddy


Cook shakshuka and bake your own bread they're good

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004


Fun Shoe

lol literally the kind of onion i gt in my patriot seed bank seed pouch

i have no clue what kind of onion that is

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost


A great, terrible, powerful post

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004


Fun Shoe

lol just lol if you dont have seeds patriot seeds like on the gta talk radio

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost


ayyyy I was thinking about posting this. Matty Matheson is great. I wouldn't pay $13 for his "Ultimate Burger" but still, he's great

Plinkey
Aug 4, 2004

What if we were both lizards? And we were both male and in love and we shared a mealworm together?

Doc Walrus posted:

ayyyy I was thinking about posting this. Matty Matheson is great. I wouldn't pay $13 for his "Ultimate Burger" but still, he's great

if my secret santa doesn't buy me his book since it's on my wishlist imma buy it for myself

Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

Plinkey posted:

if my secret santa doesn't buy me his book since it's on my wishlist imma buy it for myself

I'm dumb and old and hoping for a costco membership for christmas

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006


Doc Walrus posted:

ayyyy I was thinking about posting this. Matty Matheson is great. I wouldn't pay $13 for his "Ultimate Burger" but still, he's great

*screeches whitely* add a lotta BUTTTTTer and CheesEEEEESsssEEEEE

the internet: oh my god. that's lit. that's so dope.

mike12345
Jul 14, 2008

"Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."







I've orderd a kombucha mushroom, so I can brew kombucha yerba mate in time for christmas. Very excited to stink up the place with the fermentation process.

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




mike12345 posted:

I've orderd a kombucha mushroom, so I can brew kombucha yerba mate in time for christmas. Very excited to stink up the place with the fermentation process.

It's not really stinky. Or if it us, you're loving something up. The mushroom/mother forms a seal over the top of the liquid against the side if the jar and that's what allows the fermentation to happen underneath.

mike12345
Jul 14, 2008

"Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."







Crakkerjakk posted:

It's not really stinky. Or if it us, you're loving something up. The mushroom/mother forms a seal over the top of the liquid against the side if the jar and that's what allows the fermentation to happen underneath.

wait, so if the mushroom doesn't cover the top of the liquid entirely, it might not work? hmm, might get a different jar then.

Crakkerjakk
Mar 14, 2016




mike12345 posted:

wait, so if the mushroom doesn't cover the top of the liquid entirely, it might not work? hmm, might get a different jar then.

No, it'll grow. Thin film at first, it'll thicken over time. You don't want to move the jar at all once it's "brewing" though because it'll break the film and you need that developed for it to actually ferment.

I'll try to do a longer post tonight on how to brew kombucha, step by step.

Crakkerjakk has issued a correction as of 12:49 on Nov 30, 2018

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Doc Walrus
Jan 2, 2014




Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.


Nap Ghost

Willie Tomg posted:

*screeches whitely* add a lotta BUTTTTTer and CheesEEEEESsssEEEEE

the internet: oh my god. that's lit. that's so dope.

I like how one of his videos starts with him grabbing his friend and saying "HEY SAY HI TO MY FRIEND" and she's like "Why are you yelling"

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