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baristas are often uncomfortable around me due to my unblinking eye contact and off-the-chart t-levels
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Dec 6, 2018 22:41
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:49 |
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yeah a venti latte would be good but you know what would be better? IF YOU SCREAM AT MY BARE rear end
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Dec 6, 2018 22:46
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*pulls up pornhub.com on laptop and smirks at barista*
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Dec 6, 2018 22:48
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Chinatown posted:*pulls up pornhub.com on laptop and smirks at barista* *starts playing a fart porn video at max volume*
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Dec 6, 2018 22:50
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EXCUSE ME WILL YOU STOP STEAMING THE MILK I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY OVER HERE rear end in a top hat!!!!
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Dec 6, 2018 22:54
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adding "steaming the milk" to my list of euphemisms
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Dec 6, 2018 22:55
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Hey Barista, you ever hear of cakefarts?
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Dec 6, 2018 23:16
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id like to order a venti "updog" please 
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Dec 7, 2018 00:12
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numberoneposter posted:id like to order a venti "updog" please what's a venti?
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Dec 7, 2018 00:17
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Chinatown posted:GIVE ME THE loving BATHROOM CODE IM ABOUT TO poo poo MY PANTS Realtalk, after working in various coffee shops (Starbucks included) for about 4 years total, there’s nothing a customer could do that scares me more than the explosive coffee shits I’ve seen in their bathrooms. Once a hobo came in and laid on the sugar/milk/condiment counter with his boner out, I think the staff working at the time was able to get him to leave without cops involved. In the non Starbucks Ma and Pa coffee store I worked at we had the raw beans out in bags so customers could grind their own, and some hobo came in and touched a bunch with his bare hands. 
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Dec 7, 2018 00:28
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spinderella posted:Sometimes stfu you wrinkly thot
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Dec 7, 2018 00:45
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I like to pull out my halfhard dick and baboonesq nutsack and hold the money really close to it and when I get the coffee I pour a little over it and grunt and if they don't offer napkins I go back to the register area and grunt and show them the mess and grunt
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Dec 7, 2018 00:51
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extra row of teeth posted:Once a hobo came in and laid on the sugar/milk/condiment counter with his boner out Great!
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Dec 7, 2018 00:53
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Hobos rule
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Dec 7, 2018 00:53
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I like to order the cheapest possible thing and then leave the bathrooms stinking of hard drugs. its a real power move OP you could learn something from me
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Dec 7, 2018 00:57
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Listening to that smooth Starbucks CD on loop and it's getting me hard. Real hard
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Dec 7, 2018 01:14
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I want to go to the Starbucks where it's all Asian college students and grubt and groan
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Dec 7, 2018 01:23
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big nipples big life posted:You're like school on Saturday OP.
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Dec 7, 2018 01:24
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get a job as a dog walker and tie up the dozen beasts right at the entrance and blockade the starbucks. a barkade if you will.
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Dec 7, 2018 01:30
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numberoneposter posted:get a job as a dog walker and tie up the dozen beasts right at the entrance and blockade the starbucks. a barkade if you will. Give the dogs some burnt rear end coffee and watch them do howlin shits
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Dec 7, 2018 01:32
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your friend a dog posted:stfu you wrinkly thot Ha! Wrong on both counts
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Dec 7, 2018 01:37
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*makes eye contact briefly*
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Dec 7, 2018 01:44
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spinderella posted:Ha! Wrong on both counts nope
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Dec 7, 2018 02:09
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*smugly lays 5 crisp dollar bills on the counter* *removes one bill for each misspelled letter of name on cup”
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Dec 7, 2018 02:27
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Asks for a large black coffee Starts arguing with the barista when she asks what type of coffee Just give me a got dang coffee I don’t need that fancy pansy poo poo, see Sherryl this I why I hate these places!
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Dec 7, 2018 02:42
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Do it ironically posted:Asks for a large black coffee It’s called a VENTI. That’s italian for “large” you classless buffoon!!
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Dec 7, 2018 03:34
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Does anyone else notice that Starbucks beans are almost black and oily? That's usually what they do with mass produced lowland grown coffee because over roasting high quality beans will taste pretty much the same as over roasting lower quality ones. Buy your coffee from Sweet Maria's and roast it yourself. Talk about this in front of the Starbucks Barrista that will be sure to intimidate them.
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Dec 7, 2018 03:38
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I like to ask for my latte extra hot and then i take a sip right away while maintaining eye contact
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Dec 7, 2018 04:14
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actually I could go for a latte gently caress
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Dec 7, 2018 04:15
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The Walrus posted:actually I could go for a latte gently caress That's an odd request. But I'll give it my best. *lowers pants*
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Dec 7, 2018 04:20
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Pawn 17 posted:It’s called a VENTI. That’s italian for “large” you classless buffoon!! Role models is a guilty pleasure movie for me
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Dec 7, 2018 04:22
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Gimme a large man milk latte. Sugar? I don't know, how sweet is your man milk?
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Dec 7, 2018 04:30
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Me: "Whore. Fill this tankard with steaming hot cum, NOW." Barista: "My Lord, this is highly irregular." Me: "What did you say to me, coffee slave?" Barista: *gulps comically*
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Dec 7, 2018 04:36
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If you really want to impress the barista order your drink in the correct call out order. In the old days Starbucks didn't have those screens on top of the espresso machine getting fed orders from the register so the cashier had to call out the drink to the barista. You had to call the drink and it's modifications in a specific order coinciding with a series of check boxes on the cup that are marked with a sharpie. The first thing you'd call would be Iced* if (applicable) then Shots, Size, Decaf, Syrup, Custom (sweeteners and such), Drink type. So it could be as simple as a Grande Late or as complicated as an Iced Triple Tall Half Caff Two Pump Rasberry Half a Splenda White Chocolate Mocha in a Double Cup. All that while working a manual espresso machine.
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Dec 7, 2018 04:49
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I would like to do a Native American barista this week or next, after that I do not know
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Dec 7, 2018 04:52
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Threaten to spank the barista if she gets my order wrong
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Dec 7, 2018 05:08
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Use my stealth skills to sneak behind the counter and then whisper my order in her ear
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Dec 7, 2018 05:09
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Im Ready for DEATH posted:Me: "Whore. Fill this tankard with steaming hot cum, NOW."
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Dec 7, 2018 05:13
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Chinatown posted:GIVE ME THE loving BATHROOM CODE IM ABOUT TO poo poo MY PANTS
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Dec 7, 2018 05:45
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:49 |
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when i finally get the loving bathroom code the barrista will be so intimidated by my mountainlike frame, slumped over on the toilet... in a syrupy high that only the highest quality tussin can produce
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Dec 7, 2018 05:47
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