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*walking down the street, blink 182 playing in my head after a big fight with my wife. here to see mom and pops for Christmas, back in the old city. . . *"i took her out, it was a friday night...." plays in the intro as i sign into my old highschool's visitor sign in* *looking at the old trophies from my grad year and the teacher's portraits, i see my old science teacher, Mr. Ford. Camera pans to the teens in the hall, as i walk to his room* "Mr. Ford? *I say excitedly as he peaks his head up from his desk and greets me like Dillon in Predator, smiling excitedly he asks me how I've been* "well, you see, I came here for advice, things haven't been so great. . .*i describe in detail how me and my wife are about to divorce, my parents are getting older, mortality is looming, visiting my old town has filled me with existential dread, and how things just aren't the same no matter how much nostalgia they try to shove down our throats* *Mr. Ford nods sagely, slapping me on the back as he pulls up a chair and sits on it backwards, pulling out some gum and chewing it loudly* "I hear ya, i hear ya. . . *he looks at the ground, then up at me, chewing that gum so loving loud* but you know what they say?" *he scoots the chair closer, chomping that gum* "women are a lot like boats: they are expensive as poo poo, you're better renting than owning one, but man are they fun when they're wet" *he chuckles and slaps me on the back hard as i leave the room dejected, wondering why i even came*
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Dec 9, 2018 05:53
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Peter Daou Bundy posted:*he chuckles and slaps me on the back hard as i leave the room dejected, wondering why i even came*
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Dec 9, 2018 05:58
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"hey rear end in a top hat, i can still see fine and there's zero hair on my palms!" *flicks cigarette at the old bastard*
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Dec 9, 2018 07:51
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hi mom how do i talk to girls
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Dec 9, 2018 07:55
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Zero percent chance any of my teachers would remember me
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Dec 9, 2018 10:45
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Huh this isn't about gene.
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Dec 9, 2018 10:49
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whoa you look way less hot than i remember still totally would though
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Dec 9, 2018 11:19
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I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!
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OP do you say it blink one-eighty-two or blink one-eight-two
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Dec 9, 2018 11:24
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tetsuo posted:OP do you say it blink one-eighty-two or blink one-eight-two Blink eighteen two
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Dec 9, 2018 13:13
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Mine was busted for sleeping with a student so I’m not sure I’d go to him for advice at this point
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Dec 9, 2018 13:23
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tetsuo posted:OP do you say it blink one-eighty-two or blink one-eight-two Pretty sure anyone who says "one eight two" needs a screening for psychopathy
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Dec 9, 2018 14:36
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Nerses IV posted:Pretty sure anyone who says "one eight two" needs a screening for psychopathy I think that's how they say it in the UK This is not in any way refuting your statement, though
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Dec 9, 2018 16:24
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Mozi posted:Mine was busted for sleeping with a student so I’m not sure I’d go to him for advice at this point I hear the librarians and band directors never got caught it you still need some pointers
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Dec 9, 2018 16:25
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You know what's extra sad? When a band teacher is clearly settling for a less attractive student but he still tells them they'll get married when she graduates
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Dec 9, 2018 16:27
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I’ve worked on and off in the public school system for a while (it’s eeally easy to get jobs in inner city poor.schools) and in the mental health system tambien, trying to feel out a place that wouldn’t eat up waking life or break my tender country heart every day, and during the whole ride I’ve found it convenient to work as a private tutor in my down time. Turns out that actually pays sooo much more than public school work if you are in a high need area like mathematics It’s excellent work especially since I only work with kids who’s parents are actively engaged and trying to help them be successful academically One time though a parent j was meeting with wanted to know many specific details about my background , which is something I always offer standard but no one ever asks. And it turns out she was just checking because she googled my name and the city associated with my area code and it came up with a story about a pedophile teacher with my name It was so embarrassing but then again Latinos in texas have like 8 basic names so this happens all the time
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Dec 9, 2018 16:45
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By the time you’re an adult you should have realized that teachers know jack poo poo about the real world. They literally never left school.
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Dec 9, 2018 16:54
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Commie NedFlanders posted:I hear the librarians and band directors never got caught it you still need some pointers lol
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Dec 9, 2018 16:55
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The chinese teacher at my high school who allegedly got fired for sexually harassing exchange students was at my friend's party (10 years later and 100 miles away) and wanted me to get my parents to invest in his farm/venue so it could "be the next bonnaroo" (less than an hour's drive from the actual bonnaroo)
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Dec 9, 2018 17:40
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He had sent most of his time at the school trying to ban my mom (a science teacher) from teaching or mentioning evolution or global warming
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Dec 9, 2018 17:43
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god drat it that's not a real story
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Dec 10, 2018 02:32
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i meant to post this in BYOB gently caress
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Dec 10, 2018 02:35
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