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TITTIEKISSER69
Mar 19, 2005

SAVE THE BEES
PLANT MORE TREES
CLEAN THE SEAS
KISS TITTIESS




We have two games on Saturday! Also, Green Bay could still sneak into a wild card spot if several very real possibilities become reality.

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Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
Wish this awesome Chargers Chiefs game was a SNF/MNF game instead of on Thursday. Going to be sloppy and full of poo poo since the Chiefs just played a physical overtime game and the Chargers have to travel, although the latter rules

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen
Lions @ Bills gonna be redundant when the fans throw dildos on the field.

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!
Cards at Falcons

Must see tv

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!
What a lovely week for games

axeil
Feb 14, 2006
I want the crazy scenario where the Browns make the playoffs.

Also lol'ing that the Eagles are in okay-ish shape for a wild card if they beat the Rams (they will not beat the Rams).

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
https://twitter.com/fo_scottkacsmar/status/1072397789819219968?s=21

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
https://twitter.com/EdBouchette/status/1072519534291181569

Ben isn't going to be able to walk by the time he's 40.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



This really so perfectly encapsulates so much about how football coaches views race:

https://twitter.com/PFF_Steve/status/1072492471559577601

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

wandler20 posted:

https://twitter.com/EdBouchette/status/1072519534291181569

Ben isn't going to be able to walk by the time he's 40.

Have you considered that he fakes all of this and is probably just addicted to pain medication?

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Lynn told Wyche the Chargers aren't optimistic RBs Gordon and Ekeler will be ready for Thursday. Rookies Justin Jackson and Detrez Newsome likely to be the top 2

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS

Kalli posted:

This really so perfectly encapsulates so much about how football coaches views race:

https://twitter.com/PFF_Steve/status/1072492471559577601
It’s sad, because Josh Allen could do a lot with option plays and the occasional sweep. Though he’s reckless and definitely needs to stop seeking out contact unless it’s necessary. Haven’t seen Jackson play, but I can’t imagine he’s much better. Important to remember the Bills offense is run by Brian Daboll.
Doesn’t explain the discrepancy away entirely, to be clear. No one suggested Josh Allen should change position.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Chris James 2 posted:

Lynn told Wyche the Chargers aren't optimistic RBs Gordon and Ekeler will be ready for Thursday. Rookies Justin Jackson and Detrez Newsome likely to be the top 2

Ok philip, it's your show.

Also Bosa

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010


If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER


Ultra Carp
The NFC is such garbage that the Lions can not only still make the playoffs, but the scenarios aren't that improbable.

Lions win out (@BUF, MIN, @GB)
Giants lose one (TEN, @IND, DAL)
Bucs lose one (@BAL, @DAL, ATL)
DC loses two (@JAX, @TEN, PHI)
Eagles lose two (@LA, HOU, @WAS)
Panthers lose one* (NO, ATL, @NO)
Vikings lose two (MIA, @DET, CHI)

*Lions have the head to head over the Panthers, though if it turns into a 3 way tie then the Lions probably lose out

Really the least likely outcome is the Lions actually winning multiple games, our offense is garbage and getting worse each week.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

a neat cape posted:

Ok philip, it's your show.

Also Bosa

I mean, whatever random running back you throw back there has a decent chance of going for 5 yards per carry.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

Acebuckeye13 posted:

The NFC is such garbage that the Lions can not only still make the playoffs, but the scenarios aren't that improbable.

Lions win out (@BUF, MIN, @GB)
Giants lose one (TEN, @IND, DAL)
Bucs lose one (@BAL, @DAL, ATL)
DC loses two (@JAX, @TEN, PHI)
Eagles lose two (@LA, HOU, @WAS)
Panthers lose one* (NO, ATL, @NO)
Vikings lose two (MIA, @DET, CHI)

*Lions have the head to head over the Panthers, though if it turns into a 3 way tie then the Lions probably lose out

Really the least likely outcome is the Lions actually winning multiple games, our offense is garbage and getting worse each week.

The Eagles making the playoffs scenario is also pretty feasible.

Eagles need 1 more win than CAR + MIN down the stretch. The schedules are:

PHI (@LAR, HOU, @WAS)
CAR (NO, ATL, @NO)
MIN (MIA, @DET, CHI)

It's not very easy, but I can absolutely see it happening because Carolina's in a tailspin and Minnesota's offense looks horrible. Then again so does the Eagles offense.

The NFC 6th seed is going to be a really crappy team this year between the Panthers/Vikings/Eagles/Skins/Lions/Giants/Buccs

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Grittybeard posted:

I mean, whatever random running back you throw back there has a decent chance of going for 5 yards per carry.

I mean im already expecting a loss so i just hope no one else gets hurt.

I'm not gonna believe we can beat the chiefs until we actually do it. 9 goddamn straight.

Arnold Layne
Nov 4, 2008

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/1072535288679931909

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

holy poo poo

Thaddius the Large
Jul 5, 2006

It's in the five-hole!
Zim can come off as a very angry man, but this is definitely impressive, he must’ve been piiiiiiiissed

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
Yeah it's Flip's fault that Cousins is garbage

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

What are the historical odds of a team not even making it to the playoffs the year after playing in a conference championship game? There is a very real chance that three of the four teams that did so last year will miss the playoffs this year, and that seems...rough.

the mean lunch lady
Jun 24, 2009

went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious
Does Kirk Cousins always slap the ball before he throws it?

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

a neat cape posted:

Yeah it's Flip's fault that Cousins is garbage

It is a pretty impressive feat to cut Case Keenum and sign what should be the best free agent QB in years and get worse.

...by the numbers Cousins is having a pretty good year but we're all going to ignore that for the narrative. And I don't blame us.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Grittybeard posted:

It is a pretty impressive feat to cut Case Keenum and sign what should be the best free agent QB in years and get worse.

...by the numbers Cousins is having a pretty good year but we're all going to ignore that for the narrative. And I don't blame us.
You know how really good QBs can make pedestrian WRs look good?

The opposite of that is what is happening in Minnesota

blackmongoose
Mar 31, 2011

DARK INFERNO ROOK!
The 7-9 chaos scenario is still in play for the NFC where Philadelphia, Washington, Atlanta, Tampa, and Carolina all finish 7-9 and Detroit, Minnesota, and Green Bay all finish 6-8-2. The ESPN playoff machine implies tiebreakers in that case are Atlanta > Tampa > Minnesota if Tampa's loss is to Baltimore, otherwise Atlanta > Minnesota > Tampa. Still trying to find another "we need more points" scenario, but I'm not sure it's possible with the Strength of Schedule/Strength of Victory tiebreakers.

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.
The Vikings weren't actually that good last year either and needed a miracle play to get to the nfccg, where they were exposed as frauds.

Ammanas
Jul 17, 2005

Voltes V: "Laser swooooooooord!"

CyberPingu posted:

The Vikings weren't actually that good last year either and needed a miracle play to get to the nfccg, where they were exposed as frauds.

extremely true.
signing kirk cousins was very smart because he is good

Kawalimus
Jan 17, 2008

Better Living Through Birding And Pessimism
Kirk Cousins is the new Elvis Grbac. Keenum is Dilfer

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?
I wouldn't be surprised if Philly brings back DeFilippo in some capacity this week

SunshineDanceParty
Feb 7, 2006

One Road. Two Friends. One Ass.
My childhood team continues to sign QBs that make me not give a gently caress. A Cousins team is never winning anything.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Blowjob Overtime posted:

What are the historical odds of a team not even making it to the playoffs the year after playing in a conference championship game? There is a very real chance that three of the four teams that did so last year will miss the playoffs this year, and that seems...rough.

I started looking at '02 and 1-3 teams seem to miss just about every year. Yay turnover.

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!
Cousins out magics Fitzmagic

CouSorcery

Kawalimus
Jan 17, 2008

Better Living Through Birding And Pessimism

Kalli posted:

I started looking at '02 and 1-3 teams seem to miss just about every year. Yay turnover.

In 2012 it was cool because the two championship game losers from the previous year both met in the SB. I feel like that doesn't happen too often.

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Kalli posted:

I started looking at '02 and 1-3 teams seem to miss just about every year. Yay turnover.

I suppose it's a small enough sample size that three out of four isn't a huge outlier. Guessing NFC turns over more than AFC since the Pittsburgh/Baltimore/New England dominance has been so strong there?

GOOD TIMES ON METH
Mar 17, 2006

Fun Shoe
At least Cousins is signed to a easily cutable contract with little in the way of guaranted money

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
So Vikings new OC is the guy Shurmer wanted to bring with him to NY to be his OC.

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.
We're in a situation where only 1 of the teams in the 2 championship games last year is going to make the playoffs. Of course its the Pats.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Blowjob Overtime posted:

I suppose it's a small enough sample size that three out of four isn't a huge outlier. Guessing NFC turns over more than AFC since the Pittsburgh/Baltimore/New England dominance has been so strong there?

let's see:

'17 - Jaguars, at least one of Eagles / Vikings
'16 - Packers
'15 - Panthers, Cardinals, Broncos
'14 - Colts
'13 - 49ers
'12 - Falcons, Ravens
'11 - Giants
'10 - Bears, Jets
'09 - Vikings
'08 - Steelers
'07 - Patriots, Packers
'06 - Bears, Saints
'05 - Broncos, Steelers, Panthers
'04 - Eagles, Falcons
'03 - Panthers
'02 - Buccaneers, Raiders

So far 16-10 NFC, plus Eagles/Vikings if they miss. But yeah, at least one per year, which seems kinda crazy.

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Good lord, this guy has had a career of dealing with chicken poo poo at QB:

https://twitter.com/billbarnwell/status/1072548047857553410

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