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Spoilers for Army of the Dead: it's predictable, poorly paced, and extremely boring. Zach Snyder has forgotten how to make movies I think?
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May 21, 2021 22:15
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| # ¿ Apr 18, 2024 10:15 |
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Hollismason posted:I'm watching Army of the Dead right now I really love it. I truly don't mean to be dickish when I ask this, but why? What's doing it for you? Cause I was chewing through my own head waiting for it to end. Like, I will never watch this movie again, so I'm curious what another set of eyes is seeing that I'm not.
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May 21, 2021 22:28
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I really like Bautista as well and wish he were given more to work with. The premise of the whole Alpha zombie things is cool, but I'm sad the Chekov's Gun of "these giant tangles of dessicated zombies all reanimate at once whenever it rains" never materialized, cause that would have been legit creepy and something I haven't seen in one of these before. Maybe that's what it is; I feel like I have seen almost every piece of this several times before, and the parts I haven't seen were the ones that the movie mostly gestured at obliquely and the sprinted past to get back to dog eared tropes and tired characterization. The action felt really perfunctory to me. Everyone made the same unbelievably stupid choices as every bad zombie movie that's come before it. Even the zombie tiger was just... a regular tiger, but missing some face. Like nothing about any interaction with that tiger would have been different if it was a normal, living tiger, rather than a zombie tiger, which kind of feels like a bit of a waste for a zombie movie? The intro for Snyder's Dawn of the Dead is one of my all time favorite intros to anything ever, and is at or near the top of my personal checklist of apocalypse-in-media-res scenes (Lifeforce also has a loving fantastic one, and the only good part of the newest Hellboy was its mid-apocalypse scene). The intro to this felt like a shrug to me. I don't know how to describe it. Like it reminded me of the intro to Zombieland; just this sort of "heh, okay, I get it" feeling. Though the part where the mom and her rescued daughter get crushed by the closing shipping container wall was a genuine, awesome surprise, and it gave me hope that the rest of the movie would be similarly grisly and unexpected.
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May 21, 2021 22:59
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I would watch every Resident Evil movie again in a row before I would let someone pay me $20 to rewatch Army. I just felt like everything in it was something I'd seen before, but with all the fun sucked out. AotD really does feel like a Resident Evil movie that decided to ditch goofball horror action for a doubled runtime and self-serious, predictable story beats. The intro is better than the rest of the movie, and it's not even as good an intro as Dawn of the Dead had. Bautista is a guy I like seeing in movies, at least.
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May 22, 2021 22:22
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drat, I really wish Psycho Goreman had been better, or tried a little harder, or maybe committed to its sociopathy more or something. My wife and I just watched it and we wanted to like it, but sweet christ we only liked Psycho, and mostly because we were hoping he would kill that awful family. The character of Mimi was terrible, and that could've been fine if they had cast a kid that could carry instead of just yelling and wiggling for every scene, and if they had actually committed to her being despicable. Have her abandon her family and join Goreman in the killing fields. The whole "sing a song and find the power of love" thing was stupidly out of nowhere. A lot of the jokes didn't land. It felt like this movie was written on accident. Edit: someone above mentioned the Evil Dead reboot being surprisingly good and it absolutely is. It's a huge shame the director didn't get to do any follow ups for it. I revisit it pretty often. SlimGoodbody fucked around with this message at 06:57 on Jul 4, 2021 |
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Jun 13, 2021 07:13
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dorium posted:A semi-recentish episode of an online movie chat about show talked about PG and they really nailed down that the girl character is the lynchpin to it all. Either you learn to love her or she just runs rough shod over the easily enjoyable parts of the movie. It can be a hard movie to love and that’s alright. Totally. For me, it felt like the movie could never figure out how it wanted the people and world around her to react to her, so I could never get invested (it was never consistent as to whether people loved her, ignored her sociopathy, were scared of her, whatever). She didn't have characterization, really, because no one reacted to her in a way that made sense. I mean unless you count "yells at the same tone for every line while doing an Ace Ventura impression" as characterization, but again, no one reacts to this, so it has nowhere to go and thus doesn't affect anything or evolve or change at all for the whole film. If the movie had been willing to be as mean spirited as it pretended it was, PG would have killed her at the end, or she would have abandoned her family to go on into space with him and become a Power Rangers villain. But instead the movie just shrugged to the credits. I'm yammering so much because it frustrated me since I wanted to like it and all the pieces were there for it to have worked for me. The writer just never assembled them.
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Jun 13, 2021 07:28
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Just finished Fear Street 1994 with my wife and, echoing others in the thread, we fuckin loved it. What a pitch perfect gut punch of a slasher. I had almost forgotten what a good slasher movie could be like when it's not filtered through 30+ real life years of its own mythology and a studio demanding it be PG-13 to maximize ticket sales. It also kept frying my brain with how well it portrayed the feeling of the time period, and how this movie will be seen as a period piece to the burgeoning horror fan teens of the world. Like it was a really good 90s movie without being *about* the 90s. Actually made me feel a little glad and nostalgic to imagine kids peeking over their pillow at the movie and, in between horrific maimings and murders, wondering what it must have been like to be alive when the internet was only dial up chat rooms for weird nerds and most youth cultural energy revolved around either the mall or ostentatiously being the type of person who did not like the mall. I hope it feels like when I was that age and watched movies that captured the 50s, 60s, 70s well, and wondered myself about a super different world that my family grew up in. SlimGoodbody fucked around with this message at 07:41 on Jul 4, 2021 |
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Jul 4, 2021 07:33
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Hollismason posted:Here's a really good interview with Phil Graziadei the writer of the films who is also gay on the film Tangentially, I am in awe of how hard everyone is styling in that cast photo. I want the X-Men to look like this when they return to the screen.
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Jul 4, 2021 21:54
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CelticPredator, could you link us to your work? I haven't seen it and I would very much like to.
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Jul 4, 2021 22:39
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Edit: posting went wonky af, thanks bad reception
SlimGoodbody fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Jul 5, 2021 |
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Jul 5, 2021 01:11
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TheOmegaWalrus posted:Once you have mastered the supreme power of your personal perversions the world becomes your dirty oyster. Oh cool I guess we know that Explosivo12 (lol sick ancient Tenacious D reference user name, guy) and TheOmegaWalrus are alt accounts for the same dickhead having a nervous breakdown now Kvlt! posted:I miss Gandolfini too He will return in our time of greatest need as Gandolfini the White
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Jul 5, 2021 01:17
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Vivarium was good as well imo
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Jul 5, 2021 03:57
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CelticPredator posted:I think I sincerely do not want any levity in an alien abduction film. I want misery and horror that never lets up and ends on a downer note.  at least when we're doing alien horror and not alien action or comedy, obvsFor me, the scariness of sentient aliens (so, smarter and more self-guided than xenomorphs, by my metric) is that they obliterate any readable assumptions about the social, cultural, and evolutionary mechanisms we've spent tens of thousands of years honing for the sake of security and predictability. You simply cannot know how they see you, what they want from you, or if there's anything you can do to appease them or even make a plea to be seen as a thinking creature whose life and desires have value. It's somewhat adjacent to medical horror, where your bodily agency is stolen from you and you are at the mercy of terrifying and ineffable procedures (thus also touching on body horror), and demonic horror, where you are trying to navigate the desires vastly more powerful entities whose motivations you cannot know or trust. It then also orbits madness horror/isolation horror, where you desperately need comfort and help from someone who believes you, but no one will. One minute you're at home with your family, laughing about domestic bullshit, next minute the house is filled with blinding, painful light. You can't move. Expressionless, inhuman creatures casually walk up to you and your partner, but the light and immobility means you can barely visually resolve them. They touch something to your partner's head and the person you love drops like a calf that was hit with a butchering spike. You beg them to tell you what they want from you; if they hear your words as anything more than fearful bleating, they give no indication. You black out. You hazily lift your head in a confusing and threatening room. You're stuck to the... ceiling? Somehow? There are tubes and shapes connected to your torso. You can't feel your body. Wait. No. Those aren't tubes; all of your organs have been surgically unfolded from your chest and stomach. They're draped over devices you can't understand. You have been cut open and splayed out like a dissected frog. The creatures are doing things to the inside parts of you and you can't tell what. You can't feel, oh god, why can't you feel your body? No, no, no they see you're awake. Please be a dream. Please be a dream. Please be a
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Jul 5, 2021 22:42
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I thought the teen horniness was adorable for how honest and clumsy it was. No one is good at seduction at that age, you just sort of paw at things like a confused animal while struggling to make eye contact and I thought that came through
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Jul 6, 2021 22:34
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Kvlt! posted:I think its cool <3
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Jul 8, 2021 05:20
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Kvlt! posted:Not a horror movie by any stretch of the imagination but its been talked about itt a lot. I finally caught Upgrade and I was absolutely blown away. The action, characters, plot, style, and world were all absolutely perfect. One of the best action movies ever. 10/10. Dude Upgrade owned so loving hard. That ending, gently caress yes. They made a sequel TV series but because we live in a creatively bankrupt idiot world, it's about a nice AI solving crimes in a police procedural format.
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Jul 9, 2021 23:20
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https://deadline.com/2020/05/upgrade-tv-series-sequel-leigh-whannell-sci-fi-movie-blumhouse-ucp-writers-room-1202933886/A haunting voice from the depths of Disappointment Gorge posted:Upgrade the series picks up a few years after the events of the film and broadens the universe with an evolved version of STEM and a new host – imagining a world in which the government repurposes STEM to help curb criminal activity.
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Jul 9, 2021 23:46
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My theory on what's going to happen with Sheriff Nick based on what's been peppered throughout the first two films is his father told him something about the curse and that the Goode family is somehow tied to, responsible for, and/or the beneficiary of it. He didn't want it to be true, so he may not have let himself believe that the events of 1978 were, in fact, products of the curse, as he technically never saw anything that required a supernatural explanation. It's only now that it's happening again that he has no choice but to admit what's going on. Also, it's super hosed up how it seems that no Sunnyvalers or whatever they're called got killed despite mostly being giant assholes. I don't think that is an accident, though. I think it ties in to the thing I mentioned above. And goddamn was Fear Street 1978 not shy about murdering the poo poo out of little kids like holy gently caress I dunno if I've seen a movie go that hard in that direction before. I think the 2nd Fear Street might be scarier than the first, which surprised me, since the first was decently scary!
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Jul 10, 2021 07:44
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King Vidiot posted:I mean, I get that 45 Grave aren't meant to be taken seriously but Partytime, the full version, is such a dark song. It also slaps. I just looked up the lyrics and oh my loving god
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Jul 11, 2021 22:51
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I was gonna suggest The Road, I think everything McCarthy does is bleak enough to essentially be horror tbh
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Jul 11, 2021 23:36
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Can't wait for Apple to begin the A24 cinematic universe, where we discover that Black Philip was behind the Paimon cult all along, and he has a pagan death cult somewhere in the hinterlands of Sweden. Look for such titles as The VVitch: Origins and Midwintar: A Midsommar Tale
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Jul 14, 2021 06:43
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I have to imagine owning a successful movie studio, even one that is small when compared to the mega giants, still means you're a multimillionaire. I don't get why doing a really cool and unique thing and getting to be a multimillionaire for it is so much worse than killing a cool and unique thing to become a somewhat larger multimillionaire. Like. Your quality of life is not going to change either way.
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Jul 14, 2021 06:58
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That sucks about Amazon losing or paywalling its schlock. For a while there was the awesome, weird little channel called (iirc) Supertoxic TV that I found in the depths of Roku's free channel options. It was exclusively filled with obscure horror and sci fi garbage that was absolutely phenomenal to put on at night and get stoned to. One day, when I opened it, it was replaced by some looping commercial for... maybe a phone sex line or something? And then it was gone. My life is 3.47% worse in its absence.
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Jul 16, 2021 06:39
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See I get way more scared when there's a supernatural element than when it's reality based. If it's reality based, it really just comes down to "this is essentially a fistfight with some guy and all you need is a lucky shot" whereas supernatural stuff is inherently unknown, unfair, and sometimes even definitionally unwinnable. Like, I'm way more spooked by It Follows than I am by Scream. With Scream I just have to watch out for an rear end in a top hat in a weird dress who probably can't see very well cause they're wearing a cheap Halloween mask. With It Follows, I have to watch out for everything. Forever.
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Jul 16, 2021 20:19
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Basebf555 posted:I find the supernatural stuff less scary because there's a natural comfort in the idea that there are other planes of existence aside from this one and especially the idea of some sort of life after death. The alternative is a lot scarier. Idk, some horror movie options for the existence of other planes makes things strictly worse. Hellraiser, It Follows, Event Horizon etc do not in any way seem to imply that there is cool and good supernatural poo poo to balance out what is going on with them. The implication is that there is a superior force out there which hates us, and sees us as sustenance, or sees our suffering as entertainment, and that's ALL there is out there. The idea that this world is actually as good as it will ever get is not a comforting one, to me anyway. Dragonshirt posted:I just like monsters Yes
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Jul 16, 2021 20:32
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Kvlt! posted:Demons terrify me. Religious horror scares the poo poo out of me. Did you, like me, have a very religious upbringing?
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Jul 17, 2021 00:58
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1666 was so good, honestly what a refreshing series of films. Just the right amount of fun, gory, spooky, and clever, without being so meta as to climb up its own rear end. It never felt like the movies were ashamed of being horror and thus constantly needing to mock itself. They clearly had great love for the genre, and it shows.Antifa Turkeesian posted:I mean Martin, the guy who teaches them how mall security gates work. Wasn't he the custodian for the mall? And also constantly being arrested and harassed by Sheriff Goode? I think that would cover everything he knew without him being, like, a criminal jack of all trades.
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Jul 17, 2021 07:37
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So my wife and I have a theory that the demon at the heart of the curse in Fear Street was Beelzebub rather than Satan. The book had a bunch of different names listed, and nothing ever explicitly indicated that it was Satan who answered the call, even though that was the assumption made by some of the characters, presumably cause he's the most recognizable name. But the recurring motif of flies, and that awful giant pulsating organ covered in swarms of them are pretty well known calling cards for Beelzebub, aka the Lord of Flies. Since the main curse behind the movies is broken by the end then that opens up any future movies to have very different scenarios based on different demons answering the call from whoever has the book at any given time. If that is indeed the case then I'm excited to see where they go with it.
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Jul 17, 2021 17:56
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The American version of The Ring scared the loving piss out of me for like an entire month after I watched it back when it came out, and that was PG-13. It might even be the last horror movie to have affected me that severely. I was pretty young though, like probably 19 or something. But I was also no stranger to horror movies, so who knows? It just really worked its oppressive sense of dread.
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Jul 18, 2021 20:05
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I don't remember who it was that was saying that they liked Escape Room cause it was more puzzle-ish and less Saw style torture porn, but if that's you're jam then you should watch the Japanese show Alice in Borderland on Netflix.
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Jul 18, 2021 23:11
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The earnest love of the genre came through for me in all of Fear Street, which, yeah, will engender a lot of goodwill. It was also refreshingly goofy and light. It didn't ask you to take it deathly seriously in the way that a lot of A24 stuff does (and those are great films), but it also didn't, like, try to push your boundaries in a way that makes you feel like the director is giving you emotional homework. With some horror movies, it can feel like the director daring you to try and enjoy it because of how much of a hopeless, miserable suffering slog they drench you with. Sometimes you just want to enjoy a bloody and high risk adventure where decent folks still have a chance of surviving and making a happy life for themselves. So many horror movies lately have felt imo like the only note they hammer is "everything sucks and it will suck forever and there's no hope and at the end of the movie everything is worse than the beginning and if you thought there was any chance for it to be different then you're a sucker and a fool" and like I already live on earth, I am well aware of how it operates, can you turn down the loving Papa Roach for 5 minutes, Tyler? I'm watching the broke lesbians defeat the rich homophobes and have a burger date.
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Jul 19, 2021 19:31
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Also, the "chucking a cooler at your ex's rear end in a top hat boyfriend's car while your ex is inside" was, in hindsight, implied to be motivated by the supernatural poo poo at play, I think. iirc, Deena (that's the main girl's name, right?) pops a nosebleed and goes a little wonky in the head while she's working on tossing the cooler, and I think it's because the spirits needed the crew to have a car accident in that spot in order to encounter the skeleton that becomes important later
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Jul 19, 2021 21:12
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Retro Futurist posted:Hell yeah, landed one of these puzzles an artist I follow made Rad! The art style seems familiar. Do they illustrate for roleplaying games as well?
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Jul 20, 2021 09:12
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Kvlt! posted:All your opinions are wrong and bad, Mimi defender CelticPredator posted:That’s fine. I don’t really care lmao. PG changed my life and I wouldn’t be doing this sick movie without seeing it. Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. There is a compromise here. The Saw movies are terrible AND Psycho Goreman was awful. I love that you love them though and one of my favorite parts of the horror genre is that it can have such a wide variety of content inside it, and that I still almost always find sparks that I like in a thing even if I don't end up loving the thing as a whole
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Jul 21, 2021 03:22
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In conclusion, Horror Movies is a land of contrasts,
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Jul 21, 2021 04:47
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My bad, didn't mean to pile on beyond what felt like jovial ribbing. I still hope there's a Psycho Goreman 2, and I'm glad it affected you enough to motivate a bunch of art-making.
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Jul 21, 2021 05:20
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Peele has won my trust even with inscrutable single word titles. Contrast with Shyamalan, where every time the trailer for Old plays, everyone laughs when the title screen pops up.
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Jul 22, 2021 18:41
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Kvlt! posted:Gave Overlord a rewatch and its really a lot of fun. Military horror is such a cool subgenre and theres like 2 movies in it Overlord was great, and if you want another surprisingly fun movie that feels like it's part of the Overlord Cinematic Universe, check out BLOOD VESSEL
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Jul 23, 2021 00:09
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Kvlt! posted:Or a World War 1 zombie trench warfare movie would be INTENSE That would be good as hell. I feel like there was a movie that did that but I can't remember... maybe it was a vignette in like a Twilight Zone movie or a Tales from the Crypt anthology or something.
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Jul 23, 2021 01:16
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| # ¿ Apr 18, 2024 10:15 |
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I only watched John Carpenter's Vampires all the way though for the first time pretty recently and it... is not my favorite Carpenter movie. Better than Ghosts of Mars, but worse than pretty much everything that had come before. And the characters were so aggressively unlikable that I was almost wondering if Carpenter was trying to do some mind of Brechtian audience alienation though. A ton of bizarre psychosexual weirdness iirc as well, with out-of-the-blue conversations about popping erections when killing, or something like that. Weird fuckin movie.
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Jul 23, 2021 04:30
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