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Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Timeless Appeal posted:

Dream Warriors, Hellbound, and Child's Play 2 are all superior to their originals.

Eh. Dream Warriors is better than 1, yes. Hellbound is not better than Hellraiser, but it does have more "stuff" in it. Same for Child's Play 2 as compared to 1. Hellraiser and Childs Play are taunt well told films that are a twisted love story and a movie about the fears of single motherhood. Their sequels expand on the visual imagery and action but aren't really "better."

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Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Real Cool Catfish posted:

Well bird box was a mixed bag, with an ending that completely bewildered me. I was waiting for some kind of twist. Anything.

but no, they live happily ever after in the a compound in the middle of the woods which is somehow self sustaining

Anyway, I actually enjoyed the monsters and the schizophrenics/super sane. Gary you rear end in a top hat. Why did they ask what’s in the bag but not check it. The designs of his drawings were sufficiently varied and freaky.

Outside of that cosmic horror fun stuff, it falls apart all over the place.

Probably most annoyed by them showing how difficult it is to navigate for the majority of the film, followed by 8 minutes of then sprinting through the woods via conveniently cleared out paths by sheer chance.


These are weird opinions of Bird Box. Not singling you out, it's just the last post about it that I saw.

First, never watch movies based on hype, ever. Clear your mind going in and see what the movie is trying to tell you and judge on how you relate with it.

Also, Bird Box is barely what I'd call horror - it's more apocalyptic fiction. And the whole movie is a metaphor for someone learning to actually live as opposed to just survive. With it being ^too obvious* and actually saying that in the movie and not great, but still a decent enough watch in showing it.

Also, Malkovich was one of the most super hyper competent characters in this type of film and was right about everything, but he was also just *surviving*, which the film was against.

And the premise is just Lovecraft. Unknowable creatures cause insanity and death, crazy people cult around it, the cult is more of an issue than the creatures. The ending is not sustainable, eventually, seeing crazy people will wipe out everyone. She's just giving the kids, who never knew another life, a chance to actually live for a bit.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Davros1 posted:

Everybody always says the teens in the Ft13 films are annoying, but the remake was the only one, to me, where they intentionally tried to make them as annoying as possible and it just ruins it for me. I just want to turn off the film because they're so annoying. If they'd toned them down just a bit it would have been more palpable.

I dunno. Supernaturals Sam was pretty likeable in that, as was the fake final girl (the final girl switcheroo was one of the most surprising things in those movies). The kills were just plain brutal compared to the other movies, which would be tougher with more sympathetic characters.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Kvlt! posted:

i agree, i was surprised at how much i liked that movie. the connecting plot with the kid being prepared to be cooked is hilarious. Great show, great movie.

The gargoyle story always made me sad.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Neo Rasa posted:

Same here, I do love the original and New Nightmare though and of course most of the rest are some combination of good/bad/fun/worth watching in their own way. But my friends were always way more into Freddy than I was.

3 is clearly the best one, partially due to Darabont changing everything around, and the other scriptwriters going with it. Same reason Blob remake is so good. Its basically a role playing adventure quest against a final boss and wears it on its sleeve. The series is built around 3, really, and nothing else lives up to the initial premise except 3. Including 1 and the fabulously gay 2. New Nightmare is okay at being meta before the Scream era, at least.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Stephen King is a *well intentioned suburban white liberal* but his heart is in the right place. I've told him on social media a billion times to stop writing black people with fake "massah" talk and magical negro stuff, and it sounds like he's listening to the (not mine) criticism at the very least. He walked back his very recent detective saga massa stuff.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Acht posted:

Ohh I can pick "Alien" so that's an easy choice.

edit, no wait, mine is Alien as well; someone thought Zombi 2 was Dawn of the Dead on the Internet and mislead me.

Darko fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Feb 11, 2019

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Fart City posted:

Does Chucky have normal human strength, or doll strength? Cause he beats a teacher to death with a ruler, but gets slam dunked by Andy’s mom no problem

:thunk:

He has normal human strength, but his body is so stubby, he can't really utilize it much. So if he gets the drop on you, he can choke you with rope or something, but hed have a hard time doing it with his hands and little stubby arms.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



TheKingslayer posted:

I always assumed Chucky had man strength but weighed nothing. So once you get him off the floor he's screwed because he can't really do anything with it.

If you haven't spent a lot of time thinking about how to fight a killer doll then I don't know what to tell you.

The trick I had for Chucky was to not fight him and get him high instead. Just offer him some weed if he shows up to mellow him out a bit and then get him drunk. He's a serial killer but he still had people he could kind of hang out with for a bit until he killed them, so be cool with him, then leave when he passes out.

I came up with scenarios for *everyone* when younger. When we were on the playground talking about Jason and Freddy, we constantly scenarioed that kind of stuff. Some, like Pinhead or Candyman were "don't do this thing or hang around someone that does this thing," though, to be fair.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Lurdiak posted:

Honestly they should just put Chucky in a safe. Sure he always inexplicably comes back to life because of voodoo curses and being fixed and melted into slag used for other dolls or whatever other poo poo, but what's he gonna do in a safe.

I guess you did not see the last one. That, uh, is not going to work now. Maybe in 1-3, pre-Tiffany to inevitably get him out, but not now, especially.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Berserk is the best horror anime, even if its not as good as the manga. However, you don't realize its horror until really late; it just comes off as a war thing.

Note that this is referring to the old OAVs or the trilogy of movies and not the 2010s series of CG episodes that becomes an unintentional comedy.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Lurdiak posted:

The Berserk anime is very bad and dull.

I haven't really met anyone that watched it as their first exposure that agreed, and this being older (ie. Gen X) non anime watchers. Probably because it is mostly just a GoT style war movie without many anime tropes in it. Then 3rd movie hits and they all blow their minds. Only criticism I tend to see is manga readers who are looking from an entirely different perspective.

It's also near impossible for people who like Hellraiser to dislike Berserk in general, because, reasons.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Origami Dali posted:

The og Berserk series owns. It's one of the only animes I've ever enjoyed. And yeah, I'm a big Hellraiser fan.

I own a Behelit *and* a puzzle box.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Mel Mudkiper posted:

I was always surprised Paul Scheer was cool with it considering he tends to be vocally socially conscious about his film roles

I'm thinking that, intent or not, Piranha 3D is so over the top that it's basically making fun of it. Also, the main misogynist's dick being eaten off is so pointed to be ridiculous.

That movie had some of the best CG deaths overall - they still managed to be pretty convincingly gory.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



I haven't seen Reanimator in 20 years and didn't realize how it just straight up ripped off Psycho's score, haha. Also, it's greater than I remember.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Yeah, I'm not complaining. It's just that when the credits started, I was like, "that's Psycho without the extended string section" and then the string section kicked in and I was like, "come on."

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



The Pet Sematary book was entirely about the effects that loss has on a person and how a person would do anything to get a loved one back, no matter what the cost. The horror was all about seeing the father's self destructive behavior and knowing you would do the same if it was your child/wife because "maybe it will work better this time" is just enough hope to try again and again, despite all reasoning to the contrary.

From what I hear about this version, it is...not that.

But nobody is talking about the amazingly wtf Pet Sematary 2 with the wonderful Clancy Brown.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



I liked it waaayyyy better than the original, which is the 2nd worst of the first 4 films that were all the original over and over again (the 4th being the best, due to the better cast and partially because it stopped relying on first person kills...until they returned again in 5...), and would put it in the rotating top 3 of Fthe13th films in general. It was a decent way to turn 1-4 into one film in itself, while adding a layer of brutality that legitimately was unsettling at points. And the final girl swap twist was better than any attempt at subversion in the old movies (ie. Roy).

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Basebf555 posted:

I think the remake falls right around the middle of the pack in the Friday the 13th series, so that's not too bad. It's no Jason Lives of course.

For me it's 4/6/2/remake as the ones that actually have legitimate qualities in them that can be appreciated, with the rest just being various degrees of silly fun that happen to have some goofy moments I like or kills that I think are good. With 3/5/8 being the bottom of the barrel for that.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



M_Sinistrari posted:

It depends on how you look at it. Compared to the other franchise remakes like Nightmare on Elm Street, it's pretty good. Compared to the rest of the F13 franchise, it's okay. On it's own, I don't regret paying money seeing it opening week. I will admit watching the remake with the My Bloody Valentine one feels like alternate reality Winchesters.

I always watch those back to back as well. They should have crossed them over and had Sam have to face the miner dude after beating Jason.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Lurdiak posted:

The only thing I'll give the remake is that the rich white jerk is probably the most comical example of the archetype in any horror movie, and he helped inspire Chad in the video game.

That's Trent, which makes Transformers and Friday the 13th the same universe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Edkv7StGL8

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Neo Rasa posted:

My exact same thoughts on this series.

3 is starting to become my least favorite because its the worst of all worlds. 1, 2 and even 5 had a slight mystery angle to make all the kills until the end a 1st person thing. 3 had no reason at all for that since we knew it was Jason, its the second worst 3d gratuitous stupidity after Jaws 3D, and its the same exact movie as 1 and 2 with worse characters. But directed worse than either.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



STAC Goat posted:

You know what I hate about the Friday the 13th series? I can't even remember which movies I've seen and where I left off because I can't remember anything distinctive about them.

There was the one about his mom.
Then one with him.
Then one in a barn?
I think I might have seen one after that? Some guy ate fish food and then died. I remember that but I can't remember when it happened.

Mom
Bag head Jason
Bikers and Jason gets his mask
Crispin Glover and the family next door and Jarvis
Jarvis and Roy
Zombie Jason and Jarvis
Zombie Jason and Carrie
Blatingly teleporting Jason on a boat
The Hidden
In Space
Freddy is there
Sam vs Jason

Barn is 3, fish food, er...

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



4 might be the best one. Its the best directed of the non zombie Jasons, has good kills, good pacing, good effects, and decent acting.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Fart City posted:

I will say that I hold particular ire for 8 for killing off a significant amount of the boat passengers off-camera. Like they come across the bodies, but come the gently caress on. What do you think I paid a ticket for?

The problem about 8 (besides literally 5 mins of Manhattan) is that the kills are either excessively mean or poo poo and non gory. And Jason cheats so much in that movie; you shouldn't be able to run away from him downstairs and have him pop in front of you. And the kid Jason apparition with a full head of hair whatever that is. And whatever happened with the "Manhattan's daily toxic waste sewer flush" thing going on.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



M_Sinistrari posted:

That was probably instituted as part of the C.H.U.D. Sewer Infestation Protocols.

Did that result in the CHUD2 straight up zombies, which is why it stopped?

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



DrNutt posted:

My only concern is that I am guessing that Garak is not in the second one and that bums me out.

You get a little Frank Cotton, but yeah, not in Larry's skin.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



OldTennisCourt posted:

It still pisses me off that V/H/S is dead after Viral. So many other series survived a lovely entry and V/H/S had such promise. The first movie kicked rear end and the second was even better.

Also Viral has probably the second best anthology linking segment of all time second only to Tales from the Hood.

I'd give best linking segment to Cat's Eye, but that's kind of cheating since its also technically the 3rd part of the anthology.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Rageaholic Monkey posted:

I legit think DotD 2004 is better than the original :colbert:

Come on, fight me

I do too, but mainly because the original tries way too hard with subtext with Romero trying on purpose, to the point it takes away from the film itself. Night was way better and the subtext worked a lot better, partially because it was accidental.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Dawn started with a dude yelling I AM A RACIST COP LOOK AT ME IM RACIST GOING INTO A HOUSING PROJECT LET ME SHOOT UP THESE MINORITIES.

Dawn 2004 kind of had that, only with the same guy turning into the nicest character in the movie.

Also, heart tests in the mall in the middle of zombie horde.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Mel Mudkiper posted:

the eyeball scene is not as good as the shark fight don't @ me

I feel really bad for that shark; it's so scared :(

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



OldTennisCourt posted:

What is everyone's favorite horror anthology segments?

Does The End of the Whole Mess from the Nightmares and Dreamcapes series count? One of the best King adaptations ever.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



I get Ebert not knowing wtf with that movie because I didn't either way back when. It took retrospect for me to realize how great it was.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Jedit posted:

Some Olympic standard mental gymnastics going on here as people try to justify wasting 90 minutes of their lives.

Why do you assume people lie to themselves? Do you do that?

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



It actually is pretty well shot; moreso than any sequel but H20 or the Danny McBride one. The score is really good too.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Halloween 2 is terrible. Its a bad Friday the 13th film that undercuts the whole "horror is random" message of the first.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Mel Mudkiper posted:

Ironically Halloween is probably my favorite Rob Zombie film even though Halloween 2 is my absolute least favorite

The Michael as a child scenes are great and get maligned too often by nerd critics. I thought the idea of having the new Michael created by the same social malaise that made the original film a time capsule was a brilliant touch.

Why do you signal out "nerd" critics like it has anything to do with gatekeeping or something?

It's a legitimate criticism. The premise of the original Halloween is that evil is random and can come from anywhere and can even be YOUR generic suburban kid; Zombie reinvented it as "evil is nurtured," which some don't find as interesting or frightening.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Basebf555 posted:

Honestly, as much as I will always love the original, the "evil is random and can come from anywhere" thing from Carpenter's film holds less and less water as the years go by and the rotten core of suburbia is more widely accepted and understood. I like Zombie's response to that, I mean his Michael still grows up in a relatively normal neighborhood and attends the kind of school that produces plenty of normal kids(and traumatizes others, just like irl). What is it about so called "normal" American life can create a monster like Michael? There's something not right, a sickness in the land, so to speak. The evil comes from nowhere, but also everywhere, it's all around us. Zombie's Michael I think is more relevant today than Carpenters.



Mel Mudkiper posted:

A. Because "evil is random lol" is not as interesting as a premise.
B. Because the only people I ever see honestly bring this up as a mark against the remake is angry youtube video reviewers

Where is the"lol" coming from? In real life, evil is pretty random and unpredictable more often than not. I personally see the remake's vision as a just-world kind of safety net. Basically, "I don't abuse my child, so I can look at this from a detached, safe, vantage point" as opposed to the uncomfortable thought of considering that even if you do everything "right," your kid could still end up becoming a monster in some kind of way. The latter has disturbing, hit close to home truths that a lot of people don't want to consider (and thus the effective horror of it), the former doesn't have that same kind of impact.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Mel Mudkiper posted:

in real life there is no evil

Okay captain semantics, you understand the premise.

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Darko
Dec 23, 2004



Mel Mudkiper posted:

I mean that is kind of my point

Michael Myers as this inexplicable engine of malice isn't interesting or frightening to me because he is so obviously a product of fiction. Humanizing him makes him scarier because he becomes authentic.

He was already "humanized." Some humans are just utterly devoid of empathy and will hurt and destroy everything around them, and there's no easy instruction manual style "cause" that you can point to, to prevent that from happening. The boogeyman does exist, they're all around us.

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