|
Oh had a banger today Call scheduled 2 days ago Guy calls me at the right time Launches immediately with "ok goto this website so we can remote in and start looking at log files" He mutes the call for 30 minutes while rooting around in log files Then says he has what he needs and ends the call Mother fucker why did you tie up my phone for 30 minutes in total silence for something you could have done without my involvement whatsoever
|
#
?
Jan 9, 2019 20:45
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 07:42 |
|
|
Just had our weekly meeting with 3 new people so we aaaallll had to go around and introduce ourselves and what we do. Also this meeting has an attendance sheet.
|
|
#
?
Jan 9, 2019 20:50
|
|
|
Blue On Blue posted:Oh had a banger today Uh that owns actually. You could just fart around and point to your phone when someone asked you something.
|
|
#
?
Jan 9, 2019 20:53
|
|
|
Remind me, which GPL has oversight of the CRO PM QC of the UAT for the eCRF? And does that go in the SOF or the eTMF?
|
|
#
?
Jan 9, 2019 20:54
|
|
|
Super Waffle posted:Just had our weekly meeting with 3 new people so we aaaallll had to go around and introduce ourselves and what we do. Did everyone have to go around the room and give an interesting fact about themselves?
|
|
#
?
Jan 9, 2019 21:01
|
|
|
shut up blegum posted:Uh that owns actually. You could just fart around and point to your phone when someone asked you something. I mean I had other stuff to do. He did interrupt once every 5 minutes to say something stupid Which means I has to also close out of whatever I was doing and un mute myself Meh
|
|
#
?
Jan 9, 2019 21:02
|
|
|
Blue On Blue posted:I mean I had other stuff to do. He did interrupt once every 5 minutes to say something stupid That's like when people insist on staying on the phone while they compile or reboot a server. I guess they're afraid I'll block their number if we hang up.
|
|
#
?
Jan 9, 2019 22:07
|
|
|
"Okay team, you were all on the crew for this job yesterday, so I'll try to keep this brief." *Proceeds to spend half a god drat hour bringing up absolutely zero new information, to people who've all worked there for over a year, repeating himself multiple times, all to basically say "work faster"*
|
|
#
?
Jan 9, 2019 23:50
|
|
|
Blaziken386 posted:"Okay team, you were all on the crew for this job yesterday, so I'll try to keep this brief." Well, how else would you seem important and hide the fact that your contribution to a project is gently caress all
|
|
#
?
Jan 10, 2019 00:05
|
|
|
Shinjobi posted:
*goes to bathroom* *watches various anime OPs on cel phone whilst making GBS threads*
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 13:47
|
|
|
Blue On Blue posted:Oh had a banger today You just got rubber ducked. Often Abbreviated posted:Remind me, which GPL has oversight of the CRO PM QC of the UAT for the eCRF? And does that go in the SOF or the eTMF? I hate you.
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 16:39
|
|
|
*sprays cum until everyone dies of cum overdose*
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 16:43
|
|
|
Zzulu posted:*sprays cum until everyone dies of cum overdose* Uhhhh, I think I'm in the wrong meeting
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 17:05
|
|
|
Zzulu posted:*sprays cum until everyone dies of cum overdose* I never get invited to the meetings with the good catering 
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 17:05
|
|
|
Zzulu posted:*sprays cum until everyone dies of cum overdose* “Hmm I was just thinking that”
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 17:11
|
|
|
Im the guy who brings cum from home but wont share.
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 17:35
|
|
|
Not too long ago I had to attend a conference call/ Saba meeting to show us some new stuff thats been added to our yearly UNAX briefings and the loving lady would stop the meeting about every 1/2 hour - 45 minutes to tell everyone to stretch and she'd play that loving Pharrell song Happy and I wanted to loving murder her - just hurry up and get this poo poo over with I don't need to stretch you old crone
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 17:39
|
|
|
hm do you think its okay if I erase this whiteboard? it says plo.... *marker has been there for so long it's become permanent*
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 19:47
|
|
|
Zombiepop posted:Im the guy who brings cum from home but wont share. Someone keeps drinking all the cum I put in the lunch fridge at work so I tricked them by putting mayonnaise in there haha
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 19:48
|
|
|
First on the meeting agenda, the cum shortage and those not sharing it.
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 20:18
|
|
|
*repeats what has been said 7 times already by different people
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 20:37
|
|
|
Elderbean posted:*repeats what has been said 7 times already by different people So just to make sure I'm understanding this right, *repeats what you said*
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 20:40
|
|
|
Super Waffle posted:So just to make sure I'm understanding this right, *repeats what you said* Can you just take that offline?
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 20:41
|
|
|
I like to spend a lot of time at meetings complaining about the lack of cake. It works brilliantly; as a runner up outcome sometimes people now bring cake, and as the best outcome I get invited to fewer meetings.
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 20:44
|
|
|
Batterypowered7 posted:Can you just take that offline? Yeah, let's table that
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 20:48
|
|
|
SciFiDownBeat posted:Yeah, let's table that I agree but before we do can I just clarify ...<restarts original argument>
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 21:31
|
|
|
I hope someone is making minutes of this so we know what we talked about at the next one.
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 21:51
|
|
|
:Tries to play it cool while trying not to side glance secretary's jahoobies:
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 22:22
|
|
|
Wicker Man posted::Tries to play it cool while trying not to side glance secretary's jahoobies: *makes a mental note to creep on the new hire's Facebook/LinkedIn photos after work*
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 22:58
|
|
|
*Asks for any volunteers for a project, uses the code word "opportunity" so that everyone knows to avoid it like the plague.*
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 23:01
|
|
|
"i'd like to take a moment to table this discussion." *slams head into table repeatedly*
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 23:06
|
|
|
SciFiDownBeat posted:*makes a mental note to creep on the new hire's Facebook/LinkedIn photos after work* *you accidentally "like" the picture you're creeping on facebook: cannot sleep all night. as a result you miss the six alarms you set. called into HR for being late to work - it's the new hire. she knows what you've done. she doesn't mention it as you leave the room, but her expression of disgust tells volumes. she'll tell jane and then everyone will know. deactivating your facebook will only incriminate you further. during lunch you eat alone. loving jane. everyone knows*
|
|
#
?
Jan 13, 2019 23:57
|
|
|
Songbearer posted:*you accidentally "like" the picture you're creeping on facebook: cannot sleep all night. as a result you miss the six alarms you set. called into HR for being late to work - it's the new hire. she knows what you've done. she doesn't mention it as you leave the room, but her expression of disgust tells volumes. she'll tell jane and then everyone will know. deactivating your facebook will only incriminate you further. during lunch you eat alone. loving jane. everyone knows* lol
|
|
#
?
Jan 14, 2019 02:34
|
|
|
*meeting planner sets up a webex at max volume, one attendee's colicky baby is screaming nonstop* *no one on site sees a problem with this, begins the meeting with both room doors open* *sound pours out into boneheaded open office design while I'm desperately trying to debug an issue that keeps taking out our main app in production* *another attendee joins the meeting, also has crying baby*
|
|
#
?
Jan 14, 2019 02:59
|
|
|
Hey guys welcome to the new Kanban meeting, testing was complaining that code wasn't being committed to give them enough time so we're holding these to keep everyone accountable. Everyone's bugs for this monthly release are on a whiteboard until we can get JIRA configured *new guy walks up, nervously reads out his bug number, moves a peg to the completed phase* "Hahah hang on Jake you moved the wrong peg, yellow is coding, blue is unit testing* "Oh h-haha" *Jake awkwardly fixes his mistake* *bunch of senior developers sigh heavily, stop loving around on their phones long enough to move pegs* *perennial bullshitter explains how busy he is and that's why he hasn't made any progress* *two people visibly have to poo poo or are falling asleep because meeting is an hour after lunch*
|
|
#
?
Jan 14, 2019 03:12
|
|
|
i'm a woman
|
|
#
?
Jan 14, 2019 03:15
|
|
|
Nefarious 2.0 posted:i'm a woman medium cream, 2 sugars now
|
|
#
?
Jan 14, 2019 03:17
|
|
|
starts reading the news and SA when the guy with the obnoxiously thick French accent starts talking because two dogs loving would make more sense to me. listens to all the sickly people cough incessantly. resists urge to tell one guy in particular "blow your loving nose instead of constantly snorting. Jesus." Once again say "I've run into blockers, I cannot proceed farther on my work. JIRA issue X and Y opened" instead of "due to the pathetically antiquated way things are done here and how numerous departments are staffed with lazy nitwits, I have to wait days or weeks for things outside of my control to be fixed before proceeding farther. The fact I have to keep repeating this poo poo to you people is just more reason to laugh in the face of people who say that private business is always more efficient." "Who's "Wireless caller?" Is that you, Eugene?" stares at wall, thinking about impending phone interview, completely ignoring what everyone's talking about, with hands crossed in front of me, because I stopped giving a poo poo months ago and am actively heading for the lifeboats laughs at required joke about non-stop issues with one of our server deployment "flavors," meanwhile thinking "If Amazon, Google, Apple, or some other large tech company decides to go toe-to-toe with you, they will eat. You. Alive. I'll be gone soon so it would be hilarious to watch."
|
|
#
?
Jan 14, 2019 03:37
|
|
|
Look, I have to cough straight into the mic, because I work from home on the pretense that I'm under the weather, and I need to convince the manager on the call that it's actually me who's doing him a favour.
|
|
#
?
Jan 14, 2019 03:53
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 07:42 |
|
|
Okay guys, this meeting is to sign off on this document that was sent out to you a week and a half ago. I asked for any input to make sure that the document is correct, and no one sent me any emails back, so this should be a quick meeting! *it's a 10 page document* *no one has read the document* *about 3 managers complain about every other line* *meeting takes an hour and a half when it was slotted for for an hour* Haha, okay guys, I'll make the necessary changes and email the document back out. *spend 30 minutes updating document, send email with new document out to managers again, never get sign offs* About six months later, from an app dev lead: "Hey, so did you ever get that document made, looks like it's a couple months overdue and I'm being asked why we don't have it yet"
|
|
#
?
Jan 14, 2019 04:02
|
|