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Share your best or worst bosses in this thread. I had a boss named todd who loved to ski. He was also hopelessly addicted to painkillers. As a result, his meetings loving ruled. He'd let our engineer prattle on for 20 minutes about something, and then ask him to repeat the whole thing in simpler terms over and over again until he whittled fhis loving dork down to a gibbering mess. He'd gift people a hundred dollars worth of wine and then enter it as a bonus in their paycheck, effectively docking a chunk of their gross pay. One time my coworker found him sleeping in the server room at 8 am on saturday, which was weird becauss he didnt have access to it and the two doors it was behind both had hand scanners attached to them. I think he approved every change I ever proposed, mostly out of sheer ignorance of my actual job function. sometimes i could get out of work hours early because he only cared if things were working correctly. i banked literally weeks of vacation by never putting my time off down in my timesheet because he'd blindly approve that too. I miss that guy. ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD fucked around with this message at 12:45 on Dec 16, 2018 |
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Dec 16, 2018 12:40
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 21:08 |
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the supervisor at my last job suspended me for 2 days due to lacking productivity so in those two days I found a better job that pays better and never went back.
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Dec 16, 2018 12:46
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I work 3rd shift so I almost never see my boss it's p. cool
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Dec 16, 2018 12:49
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It's me, I'm the boss. Everyone get back to work.
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Dec 16, 2018 13:02
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I shave my boss hog every Thursday
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Dec 16, 2018 13:39
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My bosses have all been pretty chill. My current boss lets me work from home whenever I need to. Boss before that gave me these weird upside-down glasses that he said are perfect for magic mushroom trips. You’d think people working at a bank would be a lot more uptight. Starting a new job at another bank next month. Looking forward to finally giving my current boss my gamer tag so we can get high and play video games together. He asked what my Xbox name was a while ago and I declined to tell him for obvious reasons...
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Dec 16, 2018 13:43
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My boss has big honkin' boobs that I love to look at. He's a pretty cool guy too
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Dec 16, 2018 14:01
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My boss opened up a tab and got everybody free drinks at the staff Christmas party the other day, but I was working noc that night and couldn't get wasted 
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Dec 16, 2018 14:01
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My boss has no idea what I actually do so I just keep some technical looking stuff open on one of my screens and watch netflix/browse forums all day on the others it's a pretty sweet gig. My time actually spent working is probably under 4 hours per week. Going to ask for a raise after Christmas and I'm pretty sure I will get one.
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Dec 16, 2018 14:06
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He was an unbelievably pathetic sex pest who only kept his position because he worked until like 8-9pm every day, voluntarily, for free. Couldn't talk to him about anything without it veering into some gross seedy story about his trips to SE Asia. AFAIK he still works there, slowly replacing every person he has responsibility over into a harem of the youngest and most impressionable girls he could feasibly hire into the role.
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Dec 16, 2018 14:23
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My first boss was my dad, he owned and ran a pharmacy. He believed in doing everything himself; he would get me on the roof of the building and clean the gutters after hours, and he tried to do his own electrical work sometimes because 'how hard can it be to plug in a few wires'. He hated spending money on maintenance unless it was absolutely necessary, and by his definition it almost never was. I recall one year where we were constantly putting buckets and containers around the shop to catch roof leaks when it rained. Some products had to be thrown out because the cardboard would get mouldy over the weekend. He was very frustrating as a boss because he had the attitude that everyone should be grateful that he gave them a job, and need to do exactly what he says because he's the boss and his word is final. He upset people enough that they eventually told him he was a bit of a dick and they were all thinking of quitting en masse. That made him a bit more conscious of how he treated staff until he retired. My current boss manages IT in a warehousing company, he's a pretty friendly guy and good at what he does. I got introduced to him by my brother who plays at the same football club as him, so he was happy to give me a job straight away without an interview. I am basically his assistant and help by doing all the little jobs like password resets, printer cartridge changes, and stock inventory. TheMostFrench fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Dec 16, 2018 |
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Dec 16, 2018 15:14
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I worked for Donald Trump briefly about 5 years ago. And really, I'd say you shouldn't believe everything you read about him, because in reality, he's actually sort of an rear end in a top hat.
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Dec 16, 2018 15:17
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Slugworth posted:I worked for Donald Trump briefly about 5 years ago. And really, I'd say you shouldn't believe everything you read about him, because in reality, he's actually sort of an rear end in a top hat. did you ever see him crush adderall and snort it?
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Dec 16, 2018 15:33
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One time at a conference in florida i got too drunk. Too drunk to find my way back to the hotel. Like at all. Couldn’t even tell a cab driver which one it was. My boss has his cab pull over and pulls me onboard and makes fun of me the whole way back to the hotel as I concentrate on not barfing in the cab. He did not say a word to anybody else about it either till he found out i was telling the story to people, then it became a collaborative “Holy poo poo balls how drunk were we” story time. Thassa good boss right there. Same guy also ruined my expectations of how raises work by making my first raise a 20% bump.
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Dec 16, 2018 15:52
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I had a Cuban lady that ran the nightclub I was bartending at that told us before New Years night that "this is the night, take every dollar they have, rape them, I don't care" in reference to our dogshit customers.
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Dec 16, 2018 16:09
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Buffed up, ate all my consumables, entered the instance. One shot. 10 hours of preparation down the tubes.
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Dec 16, 2018 16:23
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My current series of bosses are all kinda bad. 1) General foreman. Guy tries to pretend that it takes 8 hours a day to attend meetings and order parts, but if you walk up to his hang-out spot, he's usually reading an ebook or watching YouTube so it falls to me to handle all the maintenance calls and do projects he assigns. We are currently short-staffed so there isn't really anyone else on the shift he can ask if he wants things to get done. Despite this, he sandbagged me for a foreman job by saying "well I just don't think you do enough" 2) department supervisor. Nice guy but has that problem where he just agrees with whoever the last person to speak with him was. This makes it difficult to get anything reasonable out of him, and he'll often contradict himself within minutes. He will defend this by saying since he doesn't directly work with us, he relies on other people to report how things are 3) Corporate middle manager. An idiot. A moron. An absolute imbecile. Is more worried that people don't put stuff in the correct recycling bins than solving staffing problems
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Dec 16, 2018 18:00
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When I was a teenager I worked at a super fancy boutique hotel. One time during a wine tasting in the lobby the owner showed up loving hammered as hell. He proceeded to tell every person we walked past "gently caress you, I own this loving place" and then proceeded to pass out in a chair at the front desk. Me and a coworker had to roll his drunken rear end into our demo room and throw his rear end into the bed. He ded now
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Dec 16, 2018 18:43
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My worst boss was a university professor with a new lab start up. I was working as a lab manager, not a grad student nor postdoc nor any other education slave. The guy refused to host weekly lab meetings, so he didn't have any kind of handle on who was doing what in lab (and that's also super unfair to the students who need to learn how to present data). He never spent any time in lab, which is odd for a new research professor who needs to publish papers. He sent us e-mails with experimental schedules from his office which were pretty aggressive (a typical experiment required about 4 days of work, not including analysis). He sent over a new schedule that would require me to work Saturday and Sunday every week. I confronted him and asked if that meant I now had Monday and Tuesday off, which infuriated him. The motherfucker actually thought I would start working 7 days a week with no breaks and no pay bump. This led to a falling out that made me leave the lab, and I lost an authorship on a paper I did all the work for.
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Dec 16, 2018 18:50
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My current boss is a chill dude who just wants everyone to like him and work hard. In the 2.5 years since I have started he has helped me get a 75% increase in my initial pay.
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Dec 16, 2018 18:54
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Recently my boss let me drive his new Tesla. Its  fast.
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Dec 16, 2018 19:19
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My boss gave everyone a gift bag and hand painted our initial on each coffee cup. It was cute.
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Dec 16, 2018 19:36
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I had a boss that would constantly call other people in the office on his speakerphone instead of walking down the hall. The problem is he would constantly listen to a radio station website on his computer. The phone would try to filter some of it out but most of the time it just popped in and out twelve times per second. It was especially fun when he would call and forget why and just kind of talk about what he was seeing in the documents open on his screen with no context and then get mad at someone on the call for asking questions.
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Dec 16, 2018 19:37
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"Rob" - Spoiled only son that had decent work ethic, talented & pretty chill. But when it was time to party...oh poo poo! When mom&dad took summer Thur/Fridays off, he'd send me off to get lunch & BEER. Yeah, Gorilla get whatever I want (3 cans of FOSTERS) as well. Would also pop open the fire hydrant so we could gently caress around in between customers. Regular clients would not bat an eye talking to us in the showroom while we were standing in the showroom soaking wet selling kitchen/bathroom/Jacuzzis. - Anytime that Pink Floyd/Allman Brothers/Stones, etc would come to town he always made sure I got a ticket to go with his group. All because I was the only guy that did not take drugs & guarantee that he would get home. Halfway into the show he'd slip me his wallet for "safe keeping", then he'd start dropping whatever acid/shrooms he'd pick up at the show. I didn't give a poo poo because I'd have about 4-5 band shirts from every show. - Introduced him to poker. Eventually, he had poker nights at the store with the local business owners. Lost the entire day's take (over 15k) & panicked like a bitch. Begged me to help him win it back, which we did. During the game he put up & lost his Selmer Mark VI tenor saxophone. I kept the sax & $300 for which he was eternally grateful for.
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Dec 16, 2018 20:02
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Had a manager gut my team and drive out the good workers. He then got promoted and is repeating the process at a higher level.
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Dec 16, 2018 20:55
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I got a £1 lottery ticket as a bonus for working over Christmas
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Dec 16, 2018 20:58
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My best boss bought me a 400 dollar case of swiss wine just because he was happy with my work and I told him earlier that I don't really like wine, and he said it's because I don't drink the "good stuff". It was pretty good, but I would definitely not pay like ~65 dollars a bottle for it if it were my own money. My worst boss systematically destroyed my self esteem through insults, threats and harassment that drove me deeper in to alcoholism/depression leading me to quit academia. He said it was good that I quit because I wasn't "tough enough" to get paid to write papers 5 people on earth will ever read about space clouds and poo poo.
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Dec 16, 2018 21:00
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My boss was a strict and effective woman that useless workers always labeled a bitch even though it was simply a case of her actually expecting younger workers to work well and professionally in a health environment. I worked alongside her fun hot and personable daughter (who had a different last name) and at least once a month some dumbass would have a moan about "that bitch" Good. times.
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Dec 16, 2018 23:51
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I never see my boss, I have no idea what he actually does and he gives me zero direction, but I get my step increases annually so overall I’d say he demonstrates great leadership and I’m glad to work for such a great asset to the organization.
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Dec 16, 2018 23:54
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My boss is usually an ok guy. Only exception is that occasionally I get pulled away by his boss, a VP to work on special projects. My boss throws an absolute tantrum if something goes wrong and I'm not around to help, usually by text message or email. There's something very satisfying about just deleting a bitchy message from your boss with no consequence.
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Dec 17, 2018 00:27
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I had a supervisor (senior in my department who was in charge but not actually a boss) who was a complete dick. Us ground level staff would try to gently caress with him as much as we could. I left the company for 2/3 years then returned as his immediate boss. Good times.
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Dec 17, 2018 00:52
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504 posted:I had a supervisor (senior in my department who was in charge but not actually a boss) who was a complete dick. Us ground level staff would try to gently caress with him as much as we could. I left the company for 2/3 years then returned as his immediate boss. Good times. Kicking back on the desk with your taint out, it's now his job to oil your taint, but you pretend you have misplaced the taint oil and ask him to being his in from his office, haha, it's the same bottle as before you left haha, he hasn't even used it up getting his taint oiled, well now, there's something I can help you get done, exboss!
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Dec 17, 2018 01:16
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My boss is a huge coward who takes like fifteen minutes of beating around the bush before she can ask you for overtime. Like, just ask if I want to work, it's easy. Also the church she goes to is a cult. One time she was talking about crazy drivers and I made a joke about "mercury being in retrograde" or some dumb poo poo, and she thought I was serious and started saying "Oh no no no no! Don't say anything like that, please!" When you agree to help her with something she keeps saying "Oh bless your heart." Over and over, and it is super loving annoying.
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Dec 17, 2018 01:46
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raton posted:Kicking back on the desk with your taint out, it's now his job to oil your taint, but you pretend you have misplaced the taint oil and ask him to being his in from his office, haha, it's the same bottle as before you left haha, he hasn't even used it up getting his taint oiled, well now, there's something I can help you get done, exboss! I don’t know what you do for a living. But you should quit.
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Dec 17, 2018 05:26
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My direct supervisor accused me of trying to sabotage her because I did my job exactly as she asked me to, and then got involved in Gang-crime drama outside of work, and quickly had it follow her into our building's parking lot for a week. My other boss constantly, shamelessly, and publicly carries on with his mistress in the middle of work all day long with no repercussions for some reason, but the rest of the team is demoralized by the blatant over-the-top special privileges she enjoys because of their relationship. The head boss is always super-stressed out, angry all the time, and can't keep his finger out of his nose.
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Dec 17, 2018 05:53
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504 posted:I don’t know what you do for a living. But you should quit. I used to oil taint but now I get my taint oiled instead 
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Dec 17, 2018 06:05
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raton posted:I used to oil taint but now I get my taint oiled instead noice
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Dec 17, 2018 06:23
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Literally A Person posted:When I was a teenager I worked at a super fancy boutique hotel. One time during a wine tasting in the lobby the owner showed up loving hammered as hell. He proceeded to tell every person we walked past "gently caress you, I own this loving place" and then proceeded to pass out in a chair at the front desk. Me and a coworker had to roll his drunken rear end into our demo room and throw his rear end into the bed. You had one job, and you hosed it up! You were supposed to throw him in with his face up, not down in the pillows Oh man we gotta call our story straight before we call the cops...
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Dec 17, 2018 06:44
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GORILLA BASTARD posted:"Rob" this guy loving owns
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Dec 17, 2018 06:53
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 21:08 |
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On my second week with the company, I found a dead mouse under my coworker’s desk. I picked it up by the tail with a tissue, but I wasn’t sure which trash cans were emptied every day, and didn’t want it sitting in a bin stinking up the place. So I asked the guy standing at the coffee machine if the trash next to us was emptied every day, and kind of waved the mouse around to indicate why. He looked confused for a moment, then said it was. I just said thanks and tossed it. Found out later the guy was the CEO. Oops. At least he seemed impressed at a woman who would pick up a dead mouse.
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Dec 17, 2018 13:15
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