jon jones

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Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Shumagorath posted:

don't tease me bro

Oh my God

# ? Mar 27, 2020 00:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 20, 2024 05:33

yea ok: Jul 27, 2006

I dont want to see anyone get tased lol

# ? Mar 27, 2020 00:37

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

Almost made it a year without getting in trouble

# ? Mar 27, 2020 01:02

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Has anybody got that edit made years ago of Daniel Cormer's nodding :xd:

face edited over the picture of a cop at a traffic stop?

Edit: In searching for it, I did find this:

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Mar 27, 2020

# ? Mar 27, 2020 01:12

Joey McChrist: Aug 8, 2005

# ? Mar 27, 2020 01:37

Sudden Loud Noise: Feb 18, 2007

yea ok posted:

I dont want to see anyone get tased lol

Yeah, me neither. Except Jon Jones. I assume that exclusion was implied?

# ? Mar 27, 2020 02:02

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Joey McChrist posted:

Thank you so loving much :five:

# ? Mar 27, 2020 02:03

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

X-post

https://twitter.com/SoozieCuzie/status/1243306373762494465

# ? Mar 27, 2020 02:03

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Holy gently caress it just keeps getting better :lol:

# ? Mar 27, 2020 02:08

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

yea ok posted:

I dont want to see anyone get tased lol

YOU DO NOT CONSENT??

# ? Mar 27, 2020 03:06

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Jon Jonze

# ? Mar 27, 2020 03:12

The Cosby Mysteries: Oct 5, 2007; Happy Birthday, Mr. President

are titty bars an essential service?

# ? Mar 27, 2020 03:59

NienNunb: Feb 15, 2012

I'm so happy

# ? Mar 27, 2020 04:03

flashy_mcflash: Feb 7, 2011

kensei posted:

X-post

https://twitter.com/SoozieCuzie/status/1243306373762494465

Hahaha legend

# ? Mar 27, 2020 04:15

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

ok so wait, was he like "I'mma hit the titty bar, I'm drunk af" and the place was closed so he decided to shoot off a gun instead?

# ? Mar 27, 2020 05:59

Malcolm Excellent: May 20, 2007; Buglord

coconono posted:

ok so wait, was he like "I'mma hit the titty bar, I'm drunk af" and the place was closed so he decided to shoot off a gun instead?

Sounds like a weekday in many parts of America.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 06:01

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

If yall don't also read the UFC thread religiously:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3915816&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=20#post503638869

quote:

On 3-26-20 at about (12:58 a.m.), I was at 3rd and Central in the parking lot. I heard a single gun shot to the west on Central. I drove west on Central and observed a black Jeep on the south side of the street parked in front of 312 Central. I observed a male in the driver�s seat and a subject on the sidewalk by the passenger side door. I observed no other subjects in the area. I pulled up behind the vehicle and turned on my overhead lights. The vehicle was running. I contacted the driver and asked him to roll down the vehicle windows. I observed an open bottle of alcohol on the floor behind the passenger seat. It was a 1/4 full bottle of Recuerdo, 40 percent alcohol. I asked the driver to hand me the bottle. I also observed that he had green leafy substance on his shirt and pants, consistent with marijuana.

I identified the driver as Jonathan Jones. I asked Jones about the gun shot and he stated he did not know. I asked him why he was out and he stated he wanted to go for a drive. I asked him for his vehicle registration and proof of insurance. Jones fumbled with his documents and was not able to locate proof of current insurance. I also observed that Jones had an odor of alcohol coming from his facial area.

I requested the assistance of a DWI officer. Officer (Brian) Johnson was working a DWI saturation patrol and responded to my request. After Officer Johnson completed his investigation, he placed Jones under arrest for DWI. I had the vehicle towed from the scene.

During an inventory of the vehicle subject to arrest and tow I located a loaded handgun under the drivers seat. I also located a spent round just outside the drivers side door. The spent round was the same caliber as the firearm that was located. A video of my investigation will be uploaded to APD evidence. The handgun was tagged into APD evidence.

I wanna know who the person on the sidewalk was. Jones' dick pill connect I can only hope.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 06:23

Punch McLightning: Sep 19, 2005; you know what that means; Grimey Drawer

I�m not sure this is Jon Jones dumbest thing yet, and he got arrested for DWI during an epidemic where you could have just stayed home and got drunk.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 11:54

hrollins: May 20, 2003; Radio Friendly Unit Shifter

coconono posted:

ok so wait, was he like "I'mma hit the titty bar, I'm drunk af" and the place was closed so he decided to shoot off a gun instead?

I'm assuming you've never been to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I have been there a couple times in the past for work and that seems like a regular Thursday night in one of the grimiest cities I've ever been in. Jon Jones is literally that city personified.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 12:14

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

hrollins posted:

I'm assuming you've never been to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I have been there a couple times in the past for work and that seems like a regular Thursday night in one of the grimiest cities I've ever been in. Jon Jones is literally that city personified.

Take that montage from a recent Better Call Saul episode where two junkies go on a crime rampage because they've mistakenly interpreted a lawyer's pitch as them being basically immune to law, then change "two junkies" for "Jon Jones" and "mistakenly" with "correctly".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI71Y-75mSk

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 12:32 on Mar 27, 2020

# ? Mar 27, 2020 12:28

Gumball Gumption: Jan 7, 2012

My friend who's originally from Albuquerque has said multiple times that Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul make the city look tamer than it is.

# ? Mar 27, 2020 13:44

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

I'm the one who knocks down the trees

# ? Mar 27, 2020 15:14

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

hrollins posted:

I'm assuming you've never been to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I have been there a couple times in the past for work and that seems like a regular Thursday night in one of the grimiest cities I've ever been in. Jon Jones is literally that city personified.

oh so he drunkenly went to the titty bar, got bored and went out into the parking lot to shoot off a gun?

# ? Mar 27, 2020 15:15

DO YALL WANT A BOXC: Jul 20, 2010; HAHA! WOOOOOOO WOOO!; Fun Shoe

Lid posted:

I'm the one who knocks down the trees

lmao

# ? Mar 27, 2020 18:11

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Gumball Gumption posted:

I adore this man's dedication to being a hypocrite.

Maybe he was warning people not to go out because he was going to be out?

# ? Mar 27, 2020 18:16

Digital Jedi: May 28, 2007; Fallen Rib

Davros1 posted:

Maybe he was warning people not to go out because he was going to be out?

Neighborhood Watch Capitan Jon Jones. Thank you

# ? Mar 27, 2020 18:18

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

sorta like the time Matt hardy wrecked his Camaro in a drug fueled haze because he was trying to "save the children"

# ? Mar 27, 2020 18:25

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

"I'm gonna start over; I have ADD"
:kiss:

e: whoops, the footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl_uEAUmzLU&t=300s

# ? Mar 27, 2020 23:36

Sudden Loud Noise: Feb 18, 2007

kimbo305 posted:

"I'm gonna start over; I have ADD"

e: whoops, the footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl_uEAUmzLU&t=300s

His footwork has always been questionable.

# ? Mar 28, 2020 02:30

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Jon, and I cannot stress this enough, Jones

# ? Mar 28, 2020 02:36

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

this man was supposed to be UFC's Role Model Guy. Having ADD makes a lot of sense now.

# ? Mar 28, 2020 07:18

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

yes ADD explains jon jones completley yes

# ? Mar 28, 2020 10:12

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Advanced Dickhead Disease

# ? Mar 28, 2020 10:22

TheKingslayer: Sep 3, 2008

Always Drunk Driving.

# ? Mar 28, 2020 10:58

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Always Downing Dickpills

# ? Mar 28, 2020 11:21

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Against Dominick? Decline.

# ? Mar 28, 2020 11:31

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.