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Berates parent for giving kid socks.
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Dec 24, 2018 21:05
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Starts a fight with one of the guests. My mother actually did this last Friday. Had to get her out of there.
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Dec 24, 2018 21:08
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*drives home in a station wagon filled with children*
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Dec 24, 2018 21:10
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Is the happiest person in the house and will tell the family dog how much he loves it for 15 minutes while the dog blankly states at the dinner leftovers on the kitchen tile
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Dec 24, 2018 21:13
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Oh god I’m the drunk relative
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Dec 24, 2018 21:25
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We dont drink at christmas OP
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Dec 24, 2018 21:26
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serious norman posted:We dont drink at christmas OP Are you one of those families that can actually express their emotions in a healthy way, do nice things for each other without being asked and genuinely get along with each other? If so get the gently caress out of my thread, this is for normal families who just shoot out passive aggressive comments and hold grudges over dumb poo poo
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Dec 24, 2018 21:31
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Another gin and tonic? I couldn’t
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Dec 24, 2018 21:37
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*is the default character in the setting*
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Dec 24, 2018 21:46
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Sits on the couch, staring at the fireplace, the entire morning.
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Dec 24, 2018 21:49
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*Asserts loudly that Grandma must have sucked a mean cock with what she looked like*
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Dec 24, 2018 21:54
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Top Hats Monthly posted:Another gin and tonic? I couldn’t i could
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Dec 24, 2018 22:21
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I am driving drunk and threaten to drive this car back home and not go to grandmas house for Christmas Eve while my wife cries in the passenger seat True story, I had a great family thanks dad
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Dec 24, 2018 22:22
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*screams unintelligently about war on Christmas*
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Dec 24, 2018 22:28
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Not just in this thread! And, uh, not just at Christmas, either.
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Dec 24, 2018 22:33
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*stumbles into the living room where the kids are watching the original Grinch cartoon and works Netflix just enough to put on Bad Santa at a high enough volume to rattle the windows* *threatens to pull out a Swiss army knife and gut anybody that so much as thinks about confronting me* *halfway through strips down to ambiguous yellow stained wifebeater and wide fly trunks and trips over the gifts under the tree and cracks my scalp open on the table's corner, ushering a trip to the emergency room*
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Dec 24, 2018 22:33
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Let me tell you, in excruciating detail, why unions are the only thing capable of restoring America and why the current crop of business leaders are morons who deserve the guillotine after you tidy me up another straight vodka in a glass.
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Dec 24, 2018 22:33
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Barudak posted:another straight vodka in a glass.
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Dec 24, 2018 22:35
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Obsidianheart posted:Most bottles are glass, HTH. The bottle doesnt fit in the cupholder in the arm of the recliner Im sitting in from which I alternate calling for violent revolution in both Latin America and the Cavaliers front office
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Dec 24, 2018 22:47
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Testikles posted:*Asserts loudly that Grandma must have sucked a mean cock with what she looked like* "She still does, grandson" 
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Dec 24, 2018 22:58
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Barudak posted:Let me tell you, in excruciating detail, why unions are the only thing capable of restoring America and why the current crop of business leaders are morons who deserve the guillotine after you tidy me up another straight vodka in a glass. *overhears and yells something about how right to work laws are the only thing that can save American manufacturing and uses that as a springboard to repeat every single Sean Hannity talking point of the last week*
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Dec 24, 2018 23:02
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"Let me tell you a *UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!!* war story" *limp wristed hoists 6th bud light to mouth while right eyelid twitches, spilling rancid booze down my chin and creating a permanent stain on the carpeting* *relative tries shaking me conscious, violent rattles and sucker punches said relative in the jaw*
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Dec 24, 2018 23:04
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*pisses in the house plant/bonsai tree nurtured by the hosts late wife for the last 20 years, killing it*
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Dec 24, 2018 23:07
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*gets caught loving the turkey, but whole family applauds because if I've got a boner it means in not on heroin today*
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Dec 24, 2018 23:08
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Beatboxing Bard posted:*overhears and yells something about how right to work laws are the only thing that can save American manufacturing and uses that as a springboard to repeat every single Sean Hannity talking point of the last week* Sorry that relative in my family died. Now the person who supports Bernie Sanders is the most right wing member.
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Dec 24, 2018 23:38
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Barudak posted:Let me tell you, in excruciating detail, why unions are the only thing capable of restoring America and why the current crop of business leaders are morons who deserve the guillotine after you tidy me up another straight vodka in a glass. Kindred spirit
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Dec 25, 2018 00:22
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-XPvK0NHDQ
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Dec 25, 2018 00:23
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Barudak posted:Sorry that relative in my family died. Now the person who supports Bernie Sanders is the most right wing member. What's the left wing equivalent of drunk rambling at a family gathering?
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Dec 25, 2018 00:26
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Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:What's the left wing equivalent of drunk rambling at a family gathering? it's the communist
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Dec 25, 2018 00:27
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No, it’s Christmas tradition we watch a Charlie Brown Christmas and not this crap (shrek the halls), I say to my nieces and nephews who are 4–0 years old and I’m 39
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Dec 25, 2018 00:33
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If you really think about it NASA never released a real photo of earth, it's all CGI! They even recorded over the tapes of telemetry data! Have you ever seen the curve from a plane?
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Dec 25, 2018 00:33
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*cant remember which nog you spiked with THC*
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Dec 25, 2018 00:42
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*goes on a ten minute rant on how you can't openly call everyone a human being anymore on some dead internet message board* *goes on to exclaim that the only reason he's even talking to you "queertards" is that he's currently "eating a sixer" which everyone assumes is some kind of drugs* Laslow fucked around with this message at 01:22 on Dec 25, 2018 |
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Dec 25, 2018 00:49
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https://youtu.be/3apcfRwFLLo
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Dec 25, 2018 02:49
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Barudak posted:Let me tell you, in excruciating detail, why unions are the only thing capable of restoring America and why the current crop of business leaders are morons who deserve the guillotine after you tidy me up another straight vodka in a glass. Read that as “onions” and got genuinely curious.
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Dec 25, 2018 03:42
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Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:What's the left wing equivalent of drunk rambling at a family gathering? We need to increase the social safety net so those goddamn immigrants can come here and get the medical care they deserve as we give them citizenship so they can work in America's nationalized industries. My first bedtime book as a child was Das Kapital.
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Dec 25, 2018 03:46
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Genuinely curious how the family member who gets falling down drunk every year (and it really is a random member of the 9 people there) is also always the one who is gifted a gun.
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Dec 25, 2018 05:42
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My mother legit got so tipsy that she yelled at her sister/sister in law for helping to do the dishes l
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Dec 25, 2018 06:34
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I’m the drunk uncle but I say and legitimately mean it, happy Christmas Happy holidays my fellow goons the prestige is I was the drunk relative, hope you are all doing well
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Dec 25, 2018 07:37
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 17:38 |
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*bourbon, Coke, and Pokémon reruns on Twitch* ...what's this ITT nonsense? bradzilla posted:*convinces family I am definitely cutting back this time* *is still technically cutting back since pre-loading was skipped this year*
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Dec 25, 2018 07:42
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