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A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the President is dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin


I thoroughly enjoy watching this trainwreck of a show. If you're somehow unaware, it's a (probably entirely scripted if not outright fake) reality show about couples who meet, then use the K1 Visa program to have 90 days to wed.

It's inarguably a bad show, it gives fame and attention to bunch of awful people, and it's the worst excesses of reality TV. But I love watching it.

If you ever want to see a doughy white guy marry a teenager from Brazil, this is the show for you.

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Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004



Fun Shoe

Hi kids, I'd like you to meet your new mom. She's 20 years younger than me and is only here because I told her I was rich. Also she hates you so you'll all need to leave the house in the next few hours. Please help me try to make this work.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

I love this show. Everyone is such a huge moron.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the President is dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin


Demon Of The Fall posted:

I love this show. Everyone is such a huge moron.

I enjoy the middle aged guy marrying the apparently super rich woman from Indonesia.

He threw his two daughters out of the house to appease his new wife. On the day of the wedding, his Dad said something like "You know it's really important to stay connected with family, you know, to make sure you don't let people come between you."

And the dude was just oblivious to both the comment and how lovely he'd been to his daughters.

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006



Fun Shoe

Sounds good ill keep an eye out for it OP

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

Hi Im a white 31 year old woman who doesnt see any red flags marrying a 20 year old from Jamaica I meet in a random bar while visiting. I ignore the fact he is a huge whore and also that his own father is nicknamed skins because of his proclivity for having sex with lots of women. I am somehow shocked when the day after we get married in Vegas, I find out he is cheating on me. Oh and I am also on the hook and must support him for 10 years because he has no home, no job, and no skills.

Miz Kriss
Mar 17, 2009

It's only an avatar if the Cubs get swept.


A Fancy Hat posted:

I enjoy the middle aged guy marrying the apparently super rich woman from Indonesia.

He threw his two daughters out of the house to appease his new wife. On the day of the wedding, his Dad said something like "You know it's really important to stay connected with family, you know, to make sure you don't let people come between you."

And the dude was just oblivious to both the comment and how lovely he'd been to his daughters.

It gets even worse because apparently the house that he threw his daughter out of was actually hers, and she took him in after hed been living in a van.

This entire show is a trainwreck

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004



Fun Shoe

Hi Mom, I'd like you to meet my new wife. She was kicked out of Brazil for being too obnoxious. Also she hates you so you'll need to leave the house in the next few hours. Please help me try to make this work.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

That Aziz guy dunks on the dumb fat chick constantly and has never looked at her with anything except contempt.

"Mae, come say hi to your new daddy!"

I also enjoy the alcoholic tweedledee looking old guy with no money moving into his friend's garage because he's got no money. That poor woman. She thought she was going to live a glamorous life in the U.S.A. and she's living in a garage in Kentucky. At least her parents got a couple buffaloes out of it.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

Hey guys. Im a kid who knocked up a young Russian girl visiting America who I hung out with for like 3 days maybe. I travel to Russia and after she gives birth, I seriously consider on camera kidnapping the baby.

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004



Fun Shoe

My new husband is having trouble finding a job in the States because his only job skills involve smashing coconuts with a rock.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

Extra Large Marge posted:

My new husband is having trouble finding a job in the States because his only job skills involve smashing coconuts with a rock.

Oh my god, lol at this couple. He literally is a dumb native visiting the big city for the first time like in a movie. But sure, lets get pregnant twice because he thinks condoms are for sluts.

Shes also the cutest of all the 90 Day girls, I have a huge crush on Kolani

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the President is dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin


Well, you know, I hate my cousin for getting into this situation. And I hate the girl he's marrying. And she's threatened to kill me and my wife. And I hate this wedding.

But dammit, I'm here to support my cousin.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012



All the stories involving babies are sad; the kolani girl is with a man child and the Russian girl is with a future domestic violence offender.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Demon Of The Fall posted:

She’s also the cutest of all the 90 Day girls, I have a huge crush on Kolani

I like Paola. She's got a great personality and she's beautiful. Too bad her fiance seems to be deep in the closet.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Miz Kriss posted:

It gets even worse because apparently the house that he threw his daughter out of was actually hers, and she took him in after hed been living in a van.

This entire show is a trainwreck

I liked the part early on where she's wearing a giant fox tail and nobody even acknowledges it.

also the part that the furry with the weird hair is much more mature and reasonable than her dad. The lady he has destroyed every relationship he had with his own family for isn't even that good looking. The first time she flipped the gently caress out about him not putting the luggage in the car the right way after he picked her up I would have put her on the next plane home.

even colt-ee and his weird mother seem like they have their poo poo together more than eric.

ilovebeersooomuch
May 23, 2014



Has anyone suggested not chasing waterfalls yet?

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Demon Of The Fall posted:

Oh my god, lol at this couple. He literally is a dumb native visiting the big city for the first time like in a movie. But sure, lets get pregnant twice because he thinks condoms are for sluts.

Shes also the cutest of all the 90 Day girls, I have a huge crush on Kolani

She's dumb as a rock though. Like blaming him for getting her pregnant again. Yes his views on condoms are stupid, but in the end she's the one that was cool with it and didn't use any other form of birth control. What the gently caress did she think was going to happen?

also there's no way she was a virgin before loving asuelu. That's just the innocent act she puts on for her family. also the relationship she has with her sister is just weird and off-putting.

The only girl this season I like and sympathize with is Olga, the russian one stuck with the guy who doesn't know what a social security number is and throws a tantrum if she doesn't praise him every 5 minutes.

forbidden dialectics
Jul 26, 2005







I'm the TLC camera guy that has to find a shot of Lenin, the hammer and sickle, the red star, or some other reminder that a mush-brains, abusive American psycho coming over to kidnap a Russian baby would never have been tolerated in the Soviet Union.

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




I laugh at how dumb everyone is on the show but now I'm about to move to Aus with my NZ citizen wife and literally can't even attempt a relationship with an Aussie if she dumps me according to visa standards so I am now one of them.

Demon Of The Fall posted:

Oh my god, lol at this couple. He literally is a dumb native visiting the big city for the first time like in a movie. But sure, lets get pregnant twice because he thinks condoms are for sluts.

Shes also the cutest of all the 90 Day girls, I have a huge crush on Kolani

I enjoy how he thinks the huge Samoan women named Kalahni and Kolani are "white."

And Olga is by far the cutest wtf. Did you hear that engagement giggle. edit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV7AEOBe7uU#t=289s

UnfortunateSexFart fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Dec 31, 2018

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

I'm the SIX to your NEIN


Switchblade Switcharoo

Ive always wondered how is this poo poo legal.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Taco Defender

This reminds me of that Amish show. What drugs can you get in Pennsylvania?

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

UnfortunateSexFart posted:


I enjoy how he thinks the huge Samoan women named Kalahni and Kolani are "white."


Am I the only one who finds the way she says "Samoa"? I looked it up and it's closer to how it's "supposed" to be said but it's pretty over the top, like when weeaboos weirdly over-emphasize their pronunciation of japanese words when they want to impress their friends with how cultured they are.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

I havent seen the most recent episode from last night but if Kalanis dad didnt chokeslam Asuelu when he found out she was pregnant again Ill be very disappointed.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


This show being around in the days of social media and being able to send jerkoff videos to strangers online means Coltee really needs to reconsider his path in life. His mom might not be good at computers but if she meets somebody who is they might show her the video of Coltee jerking off that he recorded with his phone. His weiner is gross looking and also is a baby dick.

Fabulousity
Dec 29, 2008

= (Displacement through a hetero medium) / Time


Nap Ghost

I always figured the producers were shelling out cash to keep access to the couples, maybe even going so far as to offer cash only if they kept poo poo as ridiculous as possible. Despite that and all the camera editing there probably are some real nuggets of mind-bending stupidity in most of these stories.

One trope that has recurred a few times is the male herpy derp from the 'Murikan heartland picking up a typically younger girl from another culture that doesn't have crazy puritanical ideas about sexuality. The inevitable conversion that always happens is the guy dancing around trying to ask the girl if she's a virgin or not with The Implication being that she's a dirty whore slut if she says anything other than, "Yes". It's almost always funny except that one time it was the nice girl from South Africa and the American guy's whole creepazoid family got in on the overt sex police routine with her. I hope she ended up okay and that the family didn't turn her life into some Binding of Issac recreation

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




Sponge Baathist posted:

This show being around in the days of social media and being able to send jerkoff videos to strangers online means Coltee really needs to reconsider his path in life. His mom might not be good at computers but if she meets somebody who is they might show her the video of Coltee jerking off that he recorded with his phone. His weiner is gross looking and also is a baby dick.

Why on earth would you watch that.

Colt's body type could be best described as "goo."

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




As a non-American I find the show is more of a warning to non-Americans to never visit America or try to be American because they are gross, dumb and poor.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

Colt picking up his new wife at the airport with no flowers or even a hug and then driving her around a loving desert in a car with no A/C to take her to the no furniture apartment he shares with his mom was a big lol from me

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


Huh so international sex trafficking is a reality show now

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Sponge Baathist posted:

This show being around in the days of social media and being able to send jerkoff videos to strangers online means Coltee really needs to reconsider his path in life. His mom might not be good at computers but if she meets somebody who is they might show her the video of Coltee jerking off that he recorded with his phone. His weiner is gross looking and also is a baby dick.

I didn't hear of this. I only heard about fernanda recording her jerking off whatever his name is. I think he also had a small and/or weird dick.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Fabulousity posted:

I always figured the producers were shelling out cash to keep access to the couples, maybe even going so far as to offer cash only if they kept poo poo as ridiculous as possible. Despite that and all the camera editing there probably are some real nuggets of mind-bending stupidity in most of these stories.

One trope that has recurred a few times is the male herpy derp from the 'Murikan heartland picking up a typically younger girl from another culture that doesn't have crazy puritanical ideas about sexuality. The inevitable conversion that always happens is the guy dancing around trying to ask the girl if she's a virgin or not with The Implication being that she's a dirty whore slut if she says anything other than, "Yes". It's almost always funny except that one time it was the nice girl from South Africa and the American guy's whole creepazoid family got in on the overt sex police routine with her. I hope she ended up okay and that the family didn't turn her life into some Binding of Issac recreation

They have revealed at least once that some of the interactions are scripted. Not all, but probably all the crazy stuff is purely manufactured.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014

... the beats of the dead.

A Fancy Hat posted:

I thoroughly enjoy watching this trainwreck of a show. If you're somehow unaware, it's a (probably entirely scripted if not outright fake) reality show about couples who meet, then use the K1 Visa program to have 90 days to wed.

It's inarguably a bad show, it gives fame and attention to bunch of awful people, and it's the worst excesses of reality TV. But I love watching it.

If you ever want to see a doughy white guy marry a teenager from Brazil, this is the show for you.

i think the saddest was looking up the cute brazilian who was from a town so small she'd never seen a water heater and the mormon from season 1 and finding out they were still together and have a kid. what a waste.

Leon Einstein posted:

I like Paola. She's got a great personality and she's beautiful. Too bad her fiance seems to be deep in the closet.

yeah it owned how he moved her into his parents' house and they slept in separate bedrooms. she'd literally sneak into his room and he'd chide her about his parents being around. c'mon dude.

Groovelord Neato fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Dec 31, 2018

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004



Fun Shoe

Colonel Cancer posted:

Huh so international sex trafficking is a reality show now

I don't think there is a whole lot of sex going on in most of these connections.

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




I don't think they're good enough actors for it to be mostly/completely scripted. But definitely stuff like blonde douche seriously considering kidnapping his Russian kid was played up.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


Extra Large Marge posted:

I don't think there is a whole lot of sex going on in most of these connections.

Hey 2 outta 3 is still a pass

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

UnfortunateSexFart posted:

I don't think they're good enough actors for it to be mostly/completely scripted. But definitely stuff like blonde douche seriously considering kidnapping his Russian kid was played up.

The evidence of that is pretty blatant since they clearly slapped a fake beard and a wig on steven to play his own "lawyer". Seriously, those dudes are the same people. I refuse to believe otherwise.

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006
TUBGIRL ENTHUSIAST



Even by reality tv standards this thing manages to drag out about 15 minutes of content into 2+ hours of runtime.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

EL BROMANCE posted:

Even by reality tv standards this thing manages to drag out about 15 minutes of content into 2+ hours of runtime.

yeah and then they release an "extended version" that the guide says is a new episode but it's just the same 2 hours with one or two boring 30 second cut scenes added in.

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Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004



Fun Shoe

yeah I eat rear end posted:

The evidence of that is pretty blatant since they clearly slapped a fake beard and a wig on steven to play his own "lawyer". Seriously, those dudes are the same people. I refuse to believe otherwise.

I liked this 90 day fiance lawyer the best



He looks like he posts here.

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