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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

I'm the SIX to your NEIN


Switchblade Switcharoo

Groovelord Neato posted:

this is the guy that met her when she was 12 while on a mormon mission trip (he was 20 at the time)



That babey has ginormous eyes.

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Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.

Nap Ghost

Burt Sexual posted:

That babey has ginormous eyes.

Gotta love those midwestern genes man.

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




EX250 Type R posted:

Pretty sure marrying an American is in fact marrying up for 99% of the rest of the planet

lol have you not been watching the show?

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN

Do any of the Americans bother to learn the language of their fiance? Seems like there's this naive assumption that the foreign partner will magically assimilate into American culture and the American partner will never have to change.

I've heard one of the reasons guys go to the Phillipines to get wives is because a lot of women there kind of fetishize rich white guys and they're willing to put up with a lot more for a chance to have that kind of life. The coworkers I have that are married to women like this are all middle aged guys with multiple divorces under their belt.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

I'm the SIX to your NEIN


Switchblade Switcharoo

Seriously, I thought there were INS rules or whatever about sham marriages to get around immigration laws. I mean true love happpens, but this poo poo isnt even close to trying to fake that. The show is disgusting on multiple levels and Im ashamed my wife watches it.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


Young Orc

Burt Sexual posted:

Seriously, I thought there were INS rules or whatever about sham marriages to get around immigration laws. I mean true love happpens, but this poo poo isn’t even close to trying to fake that. The show is disgusting on multiple levels and I’m ashamed my wife watches it.

It's not the INS anymore it's ICE

Fabulousity
Dec 29, 2008

= (Displacement through a hetero medium) / Time


Nap Ghost

Panfilo posted:

Do any of the Americans bother to learn the language of their fiance? Seems like there's this naive assumption that the foreign partner will magically assimilate into American culture and the American partner will never have to change.

I've heard one of the reasons guys go to the Phillipines to get wives is because a lot of women there kind of fetishize rich white guys and they're willing to put up with a lot more for a chance to have that kind of life. The coworkers I have that are married to women like this are all middle aged guys with multiple divorces under their belt.

The idea of poor in America is the idea of rich in the Philippines. Your middle-aged coworkers all have broken dicks that need viagra but refuse to take it and just go after the Filipinos because there is a high chance they'll put up with their rope-pushing idiocy for a few years and then... Well, the whole premise of the show is to take all of the dumb Amercan's money. When it's done successfully it sure as poo poo won't be on this dumb show.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

I'm the SIX to your NEIN


Switchblade Switcharoo

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

It's not the INS anymore it's ICE

Ok, I know. So what the answer mr. Acronym

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


Is it on any streaming services I am desperate.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


Amazon Prime but I think you've gotta buy the season. All the couples in the new season are terrible with each other. Even the one that has hope implodes at the end.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

I'm the SIX to your NEIN


Switchblade Switcharoo

JebanyPedal posted:

Is it on any streaming services I am desperate.

https://www.aa.com

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat



I don't get it Burt.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

I'm the SIX to your NEIN


Switchblade Switcharoo

JebanyPedal posted:

I don't get it Burt.

Its a website, book a ticket you thirsty goon. It was a reach. It wasnt a thing that youd watch, but one where youd go a find a..ah gently caress it. Its nye times are tough.

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS AND DID AN OOPS BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SHIT HAPPENS. ps tom brady is GOAT


Ham Wrangler

I thought that was gonna be alcoholics anonymous

Anime Store Adventure
May 6, 2009


If you can borrow a relatives cable login you can get a lot of the old seasons streaming off of TLC but its hot dogshit on like Roku and I can only ever skip ads and poo poo on desktop with Ublock.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


Burt Sexual posted:

It’s a website, book a ticket you thirsty goon. It was a reach. It wasn’t a thing that you’d watch, but one where you’d go a find a..ah gently caress it. It’s nye times are tough.

Yeah I feel you sorry man let's just forget our mistakes itt and move on to the New Year.

My Linux Rig
Mar 27, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 3851 days!


Panfilo posted:

Do any of the Americans bother to learn the language of their fiance? Seems like there's this naive assumption that the foreign partner will magically assimilate into American culture and the American partner will never have to change.

They hardly even bother to clean the house and bring flowers, so no most of the time they dont bother to do anything like that. Hell the dude dating the pregnant Russian didnt even bother to learn anything about her pregnancy or even try to get her a visa when the kid was born. The Americans on this show are kind of dicks

Fabulousity posted:

The idea of poor in America is the idea of rich in the Philippines. Your middle-aged coworkers all have broken dicks that need viagra but refuse to take it and just go after the Filipinos because there is a high chance they'll put up with their rope-pushing idiocy for a few years and then... Well, the whole premise of the show is to take all of the dumb Amercan's money. When it's done successfully it sure as poo poo won't be on this dumb show.

most of the people Ive seen on this show dont have much money to take. theyre usually living in an apartment or with their parents

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014

... the beats of the dead.


why would you ever take a pic of your dick if it was that small.

Salty Josh posted:

What a piece of poo poo.

She married waaaaay down. He must dick her down for Jesus.

she was from a tiny town and hadn't even seen a water heater before. i thought once she got to america she'd figure out she was insanely out of his league. religion poisons the brain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPT3hoaEDec
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8FnSOc6HcM

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004



Fun Shoe

My Linux Rig posted:

most of the people Ive seen on this show dont have much money to take. theyre usually living in an apartment or with their parents

When they do get fleeced it's pretty rough. Jbali married a large Ohio woman, cleared out her checking account, maxed out her credit cards then just skipped town.



I'm surprised this guy didn't get deported, but she wanted to try and work it out.

SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Extra Large Marge posted:

When they do get fleeced it's pretty rough. Jbali married a large Ohio woman, cleared out her checking account, maxed out her credit cards then just skipped town.



I'm surprised this guy didn't get deported, but she wanted to try and work it out.

That story was amazing. Shes basically dirt poor white trash and fell in love with him via the Internet. She bought him a flight and once he landed in the USA he went missing for days. Then they got married and he refused to kiss her at the end of the ceremony because it was Ramadan. She just spent all her time looking adoringly at him while he insulted her. Felt sorry for her but oh my god what an idiot.

I feel an underrated couple are the ones who met in South America. He was a big celebrity and she pronounced his home country as Nicuragwaaaa and was super loving annoying. They ended up living with her parents in the middle of nowhere Midwest. That was more depressing to me than someone getting scammed.

Bape Culture
Sep 13, 2006


Is it as enjoyable to watch as the fat person show?

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS AND DID AN OOPS BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SHIT HAPPENS. ps tom brady is GOAT


Ham Wrangler

Bape Culture posted:

Is it as enjoyable to watch as the fat person show?

You're gonna need to be more specific, this is American television we're talking about here

Bape Culture
Sep 13, 2006


Dixville posted:

You're gonna need to be more specific, this is American television we're talking about here

600lb lives

Telebite
Aug 23, 2018



https://www.independent.co.uk/life-...s-a6971006.html

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Shitposting 24/7 without regrets. my parents would be proud.


SEX BURRITO posted:

That story was amazing. Shes basically dirt poor white trash and fell in love with him via the Internet. She bought him a flight and once he landed in the USA he went missing for days. Then they got married and he refused to kiss her at the end of the ceremony because it was Ramadan. She just spent all her time looking adoringly at him while he insulted her. Felt sorry for her but oh my god what an idiot.

I feel an underrated couple are the ones who met in South America. He was a big celebrity and she pronounced his home country as Nicuragwaaaa and was super loving annoying. They ended up living with her parents in the middle of nowhere Midwest. That was more depressing to me than someone getting scammed.

yeah, the celebrity story sounds sad. like he could be with anyone he wanted down there but now he is trapped in fentanyl county USA.

AWarmBody
Jul 26, 2014

Better than a cold one.

JebanyPedal posted:

Is it on any streaming services I am desperate.

Started watching on Hulu this morning because of this thread

Miz Kriss
Mar 17, 2009

It's only an avatar if the Cubs get swept.


Oh my god, last season was a plethora of trainwrecks combined into a giant fireball of disaster. Other than the Dutch guy and the 40 year old woman trying to be 20, there was the Nigerian guy who only was gonna be with this old white trash lady was because he thought all Americans knew Donald Trump.

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




Miz Kriss posted:

Oh my god, last season was a plethora of trainwrecks combined into a giant fireball of disaster. Other than the Dutch guy and the 40 year old woman trying to be 20, there was the Nigerian guy who only was gonna be with this old white trash lady was because he thought all Americans knew Donald Trump.

What version of 90 day fiance was the Nigerian guy on? He was on the live show but in Canada we only get 90 day fiance and Happily ever after so I had never seen him. There are like five Fiance shows now I think, some of them only on the American app.

Miz Kriss
Mar 17, 2009

It's only an avatar if the Cubs get swept.


UnfortunateSexFart posted:

What version of 90 day fiance was the Nigerian guy on? He was on the live show but in Canada we only get 90 day fiance and Happily ever after so I had never seen him. There are like five Fiance shows now I think, some of them only on the American app.

He was on Before the 90 Days. There are 3 fianc shows that I know of: 90 Day Fianc, Before the 90 Days, and Happily Ever After(?)

AWarmBody
Jul 26, 2014

Better than a cold one.

Aziza's husband looks like he lured her into a van off middle school property.

I love this show. Thanks, goons.

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004



Fun Shoe

Miz Kriss posted:

Oh my god, last season was a plethora of trainwrecks combined into a giant fireball of disaster. Other than the Dutch guy and the 40 year old woman trying to be 20, there was the Nigerian guy who only was gonna be with this old white trash lady was because he thought all Americans knew Donald Trump.

She went to Nigeria with him and she was extremely excited to buy cartons of discount cigarettes at the local bazaar.

I think he ended up stealing 200 bucks out of her checking account then splitting.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

I liked how Jay and Ashley are so boring together that they came up with that extremely fake sounding super over the top racist comments on her facebook or whatever it was to spice it up. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that would write comments like that on an interracial couple's page, but it's TLC, you know it never happened.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

also I didn't remember asking for and clicking on colt's dick pics last night on account of drinking way too much, and I regret it even more that I clicked on them again this morning.

AWarmBody
Jul 26, 2014

Better than a cold one.

Can someone who is an expert on uncircumcised penises tell me if his little penis is uncircumcised? I can't tell if it's uncircumcised or just...gross

SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Bape Culture posted:

Is it as enjoyable to watch as the fat person show?

Yes. Although the 600lb show has the Indian doctor guy who I love because he takes no poo poo. Always funny watching him interrogate his patients because theyve only lost 2lbs in a month or something and come up with excuses like but muscle weighs more than fat!

Dapper_Swindler posted:

yeah, the celebrity story sounds sad. like he could be with anyone he wanted down there but now he is trapped in fentanyl county USA.

He wanted to launch a career in the USA, and I think he expected to get to great heights despite not speaking any English and living three hours from the nearest city.

Also, Im pretty sure they got married because they were both saving it for marriage and were idiot horny 19 year olds. It was just bad decisions all the way down.

Miz Kriss
Mar 17, 2009

It's only an avatar if the Cubs get swept.


Extra Large Marge posted:

She went to Nigeria with him and she was extremely excited to buy cartons of discount cigarettes at the local bazaar.

I think he ended up stealing 200 bucks out of her checking account then splitting.

Oh yeah. Also at the bazaar he asked the clerk if there any bigger sizes of the local dresses/shirts because the only things holding her sagging tits were a tank top and a prayer, and thats generally frowned upon, and she flipped the gently caress out saying that he was calling her fat and he didnt love her and she needed all 400 of those cigarettes that were on sale. (Fun fact: shes also been on the baby daddy episode of Maury twice to support her daughter)

Then there was the Kentucky guy with the stalking and arson records who packed for Brazil like he was a doomsday prepper and made his blushing bride take a pregnancy test as soon as he got there.

SEX BURRITO posted:

Yes. Although the 600lb show has the Indian doctor guy who I love because he takes no poo poo. Always funny watching him interrogate his patients because they’ve only lost 2lbs in a month or something and come up with excuses like ‘but muscle weighs more than fat!’

Its gotten better in the recent seasons because hes heard all the excuses before and hes a lot more snippy. Its great.

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I liked how Jay and Ashley are so boring together that they came up with that extremely fake sounding super over the top racist comments on her facebook or whatever it was to spice it up. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that would write comments like that on an interracial couple's page, but it's TLC, you know it never happened.

I was wondering about that. My assumption was the Jamaican guy himself sent them anonymously to drum up sympathy or something.

Magnitogorsk.
Nov 14, 2004

Global warming is barely a big deal at all compared to the trajectory we used to be on. We'll have to do a lot of environmental engineering projects along certain shorelines and it will be a little warmer and wetter in some places, big fucking deal.

I liked when they were walking around a super market and the storyline was everyone was looking at them because no one in Georgia had seen a black person before, not because they were walking around with a camera crew

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




AWarmBody posted:

Can someone who is an expert on uncircumcised penises tell me if his little penis is uncircumcised? I can't tell if it's uncircumcised or just...gross

I'm not subjecting myself to that photo again but unmutilated genitals look "circumcised" when erect.

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piss explosion
Apr 2, 2005
keke lah ^^

SEX BURRITO posted:

That story was amazing. She’s basically dirt poor white trash and fell in love with him via the Internet. She bought him a flight and once he landed in the USA he went missing for days. Then they got married and he refused to kiss her at the end of the ceremony because it was Ramadan. She just spent all her time looking adoringly at him while he insulted her. Felt sorry for her but oh my god what an idiot.

I feel an underrated couple are the ones who met in South America. He was a big celebrity and she pronounced his home country as Nicuragwaaaa and was super loving annoying. They ended up living with her parents in the middle of nowhere Midwest. That was more depressing to me than someone getting scammed.

Oh god.. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was enraged by her and the constant 'Nicawagwaaa' and annoying fedora hats. I think she secretly enjoyed the fact that her husband gave up his whole life and came over speaking zero English. She couldn't go 5 minutes without smugly reminding everyone she was so intelligent and cultured for being able to speak Spanish.

I like also how they've gradually had less boring, annoying couples like her and the twitchy Jewish girl and more crazy couples as the seasons have continued now to the point that they're all trainwrecks. One of my favourites so far was Chantel and Pedro, who ended up getting into an actual fistfight with the family Chantel who were all arrogant, crazy assholes.

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