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Forged in the magnetizer deep in the bowels of Motel 6, a card is created that can open any room in the hotel. The maid passes much of their power to the card. |
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Jan 2, 2019 20:02
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 07:40 |
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"Clean sheets? Clean towels? Subservience to the Dark Lord?" the maid called sweetly from outside my door. She wasn't fooling ME. I already hung out the "Do Not Disturb" sign 
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Jan 2, 2019 20:09
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Now that the peepholes in the hotel doors have been reversed, the eye of Saurona may be on you at any moment. (M-M-M-M-M-M-M- My Saurona!)
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Jan 2, 2019 20:19
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One room to house them all One room assigned them One room to bring them all And with a deposit bind them In the hotel where the shadows lie https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jan 2, 2019 20:23
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nine less powerful but still highly useful cards are handed out to room service delivery people. "you will never need to wait to collect the dirty dishes," purrs the maid. "no need to repay me now, I'll think of something."
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Jan 2, 2019 20:24
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We had left the pool a long time ago, and were now wandering around deep in the basement of the motel, wandering in the dark hallways that held the furnace. We didn't know how much longer we could go on, until one of us pulled out the complimentary packette of Saltines that had been in our room when the maid arrived. "Here it is...the last of the Waybread."
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Jan 2, 2019 20:32
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"The lesser keys betrayed their owners and their belongings" the maid said to themselves as they ran their fingers through lost cell phone charging cables as though they were gold coins |
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Jan 2, 2019 20:33
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glowing-fish posted:We had left the pool a long time ago, and were now wandering around deep in the basement of the motel, wandering in the dark hallways that held the furnace. We didn't know how much longer we could go on, until one of us pulled out the complimentary packette of Saltines that had been in our room when the maid arrived. "Here it is...the last of the Waybread."
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Jan 2, 2019 20:36
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linda from reception stood between us and the snarling, red-faced guest who was demanding to see a manager, who wanted a complimentary night in the hotel because the bedsheets had a spot on them, who wanted access to the VIP lounge because they booked with a Discover card, and who was insisting on two additional bathrobes and slippers and a backup set of toiletries. she turned briefly in our direction and said, "fly, you fools!" |
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Jan 2, 2019 20:44
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The sheets are bleached. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the sink. I smell it in the air. |
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Jan 2, 2019 20:44
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a group of rotund bearded individuals jovially eats all of the free continental breakfast while the frightened hotel employee who had just laid it out watches helplessly
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Jan 2, 2019 20:50
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Motel 6- we'll light the watchfires of Gondor for you
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jan 2, 2019 20:55
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"You have my sword! And my bow! And my axe!" they said to me, from the hallway. All I wanted was an ice bucket and some ice... |
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Jan 2, 2019 20:58
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"The Maitre'd was named Tom Bombadil, he was a friendly enough sort but the guy broke into song as he explained every nuance of my lodgings. I was sort of put out... there were wild animals running about, as well; they appeared to be the wait staff. I would not recommend if you have pet allergies. Goldberry was lovely, as always." -Yelp review, Tom & Goldberry's Airbnb |
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Jan 2, 2019 21:02
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The new bellhop shuddered as he stood before the front door, it slowly opening to welcome the hosts marching to swell the already packed conference rooms. He shook off his fear and began to gather himself to walk towards it. The hiring manager quickly grabbed his shoulder, "no, wait! You cant just walk in through the front door!" vanisher fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Jan 3, 2019 |
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Jan 2, 2019 23:01
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Luvcow posted:a group of rotund bearded individuals jovially eats all of the free continental breakfast while the frightened hotel employee who had just laid it out watches helplessly lol
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Jan 2, 2019 23:18
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Luvcow posted:a group of rotund bearded individuals jovially eats all of the free continental breakfast while the frightened hotel employee who had just laid it out watches helplessly |
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Jan 2, 2019 23:51
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Splatmaster posted:Motel 6- we'll light the watchfires of Gondor for you
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Jan 3, 2019 02:03
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Night manager, sliding key incredulously into a door: that door was broken... Maintenance guy: *opens door dramatically* it has been remade
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Jan 3, 2019 02:45
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Luvcow posted:a group of rotund bearded individuals jovially eats all of the free continental breakfast while the frightened hotel employee who had just laid it out watches helplessly |
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Jan 3, 2019 03:21
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Free continental breakfast* offered every morning *second breakfast not included |
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Jan 3, 2019 03:23
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Guests: Steal the towels and stain the sheets! Smoke in the room and don't wipe your feet! Clog the toilets and check out laaaate! Management: Guess we'll have to raise our rates. |
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Jan 3, 2019 04:13
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*minibar is open. in the trash can, a torn paper seal and an empty m&ms wrapper and fiji water bottle* "They delved too deep and too greedily. Who knows what unspeakable horror awaits" |
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Jan 3, 2019 04:16
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guest: "hey can i grab a couple extra towels for the pool out of that housekeeping closet?" exasperated concierge: "one does not simply walk into the service door" |
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Jan 3, 2019 04:29
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google THIS posted:Guests: Steal the towels and stain the sheets! Smoke in the room and don't wipe your feet! Clog the toilets and check out laaaate! |
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Jan 3, 2019 05:53
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*to maid as she approaches my door* YOU SHALL NOT PASS i've soiled the sheets you see |
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Jan 3, 2019 06:10
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canyoneer posted:*minibar is open. in the trash can, a torn paper seal and an empty m&ms wrapper and fiji water bottle* |
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Jan 3, 2019 08:04
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if Tolkien and C's Lewis went to the same hotel would they do a fist fight over linguistical pedantry? I'd like to believe the answer is yes.
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Jan 3, 2019 08:54
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Not cool, OP. She just has pinkeye. |
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Jan 3, 2019 08:54
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Why wouldn't the eagles just clean the rooms? |
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Jan 3, 2019 12:17
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After a restful night of sleep the hotel patron stood in front of the front desk. "May I help you?" asked the hotel clerk. "Yes, I'd like to check out, please." he said, handing her his room access card. 'And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!' "Yeah. Whatever. Just check me out of the room and I'll be going, ok?" |
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Jan 3, 2019 12:38
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Fredrik1 posted:Why wouldn't the eagles just clean the rooms? ugh why does no one get this, obviously that would attract the attention of the all seeing eye of the SEIU |
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Jan 3, 2019 12:54
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Fredrik1 posted:Why wouldn't the eagles just clean the rooms? |
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Jan 3, 2019 13:57
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"hoom, hom," said the janitor. "I almost think I dislike you for throwing that half-empty soda can at the lobby trash and missing, but let us not be hasty!"
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Jan 3, 2019 14:32
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Frodo, Sam, and Gollum arrive at the foot of the secret staircase that leads over the Mountains of Shadow. But it's locked and marked emergency exit only. They'll have to use the elevator.
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Jan 3, 2019 15:50
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At the end of their lives, elves journey to the Best Western. |
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Jan 3, 2019 21:38
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*hotel maid places ear to the floor* “their pace has quickened” |
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Jan 4, 2019 06:34
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'But you can’t leave poor old Bill behind in this forsaken place! Mr Gandalf' 'I'm sorry Sam', said the wizard, 'I just don't think the hotel allows you to have a pony in your room.' |
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Jan 4, 2019 10:21
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Hotel Clerk: Welcome to the Last Homely House, my name is Elrond how may I help you? Customer: Hi, i'm here for the Johnson funeral? Voices suddenly singing: Johnson, oh Johnson, he fell in Moria Here's to 'ol Johnson, we never did know ya! Johnson, OH! Johnson, one thing we must make clear- Your funeral won't be as good as the one for Mithrandir! Customer: Um... Elrond: Those are Elves, and they are singing a lament for the passing of your loved one. Customer: O.K., uh- yeah. Whatever. Listen, we were hoping to see the World's Largest Ball of Earwax while we were here, could you show us how to get there? We have this map... Elrond: **looks over map** Ah! Yes! These are moon letters, see? ** points out a picture of a naked man, his buttocks pried apart with his own hands, a wedding ring is clearly visible on his left ring finger** Customer: Eeewwww, that's disgusting! Galadriel: He who has SEEN the EYE! |
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Jan 4, 2019 14:54
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 07:40 |
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3 people walk into the Riddermark bar, and the bartender says "what business have a ranger, an elf, and a dwarf here?" |
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Jan 5, 2019 15:02
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