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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Babbies With Mobilephones: Is you instagramming a criminal fucking conspiracy???

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Hope is a terrible, ruinous thing sometimes.

I recently got into knitting. It can be a deceptively expensive hobby, especially if you want to support local yarn makers and distributors. A couple weeks ago I was at a small-ish yarn store, and a couple middle-aged women were joking with each other about lying to their SOs what they were spending their yarn money on. One said that she was cheaping out on their baby and pet food to save more money for yarn.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2019 21:10

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 20:18

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

I love it when people assume bonuses will always be there for them.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2019 21:12

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Got this chain email this morning.

quote:

The empty branches in the trees, the cold winter wind, and snow in the driveway can only mean one thing: football playoffs.

I�ll duly admit to being a fair-weather fan. If the Mighty Ravens aren't in the annual tournament, I�m not that interested.

But they were this year, and how they played has something to say about how winners invest.

Football, like the stock market, is a game of matchups. The Ravens beat the L.A. Chargers handily to get into the playoffs. The Ravens used the speed of their rookie running quarterback Lamar Jackson to keep the Chargers guessing and back on their heels while their staunch defense blitzed almost every play.

In their second matchup two weeks later, the Chargers made adjustments by putting in smaller, quicker safeties as linebackers. The Ravens should have made the obvious adjustment to this and put in their largest players on offense and simply run them over.

This didn�t happen; the Mighty Ravens lost, and offensive play-caller Marty Mornhinweg was fired.

The next week, the Evil Patriots of Boston played the Chargers. Their coach used Baltimore's defensive tactic of blitzing on every play and kept the Chargers off balance, and at the same time they ran the ball down the Chargers� throat and won handily.

It is the Patriots� coach Belichick�s ability to adjust to his opponent that makes him a perennial Super Bowl contender.

Back to Investing

The most common investment advice you get is to dollar-cost average for the long term and, whatever you do, don�t try to time the market.

This is good advice for your average investor who doesn't know a price-to-earnings ratio from a dividend yield. You just feed your 401(k) every paycheck, and you will be much better off than half of your peers who don�t even do that.

However, because you are taking the time to read this and presumably other investment insight, you are much smarter than the average investor and want to do even better.

Of course, the money managers and 401(k) hacks tell you never to sell or try to time the market. But if you are selling when shares are expensive and buying when they are cheap, is that market timing? Or just good investing?

I�ve written before about my favorite chart: Warren Buffett�s cash position.

As you can see by the chart, Buffett has been able to raise cash just before the crashes: 1998�99, 2005�07, and 2017�now.

Then, after the crash, the cash position went down because he started buying stocks.

Sucker�s Rally

Right now the Dow Jones Industrial Average has bounced about 2,000 points from its recent low. This is a sucker's rally. Stocks rarely bounce back in a �V� formation. You should think of it as a gift from the market gods and take some money off the table � cash that you can later put to use buying on the cheap.

Raise Cash, Buy Gold

There are very real signs of a slowdown in China and the EU: Car sales are falling. Plants are closing. Housing around the world is slowing, as Chinese money is no longer flooding out of China.

One market that is in the early stages of a bull market is gold. Don�t believe me? Look at this chart:

That�s the gold ETF (GLD). Higher lows and higher highs are the definition of a bull market. We have higher lows (the circles on the chart) but have yet to hit new highs.

Bull markets are like walking up stairs. If GLD breaks above 130, we are off to the races and will be testing the old all-time highs.

Use the current rally to raise cash and buy some gold.

All the best,

SNIP NAME Signature

SNIP NAME

"They say don't try to time the market, but you're so smart and handsome and smell nice so here's how to time the market!"

# ¿ Jan 16, 2019 16:46

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

I mean to be fair the IRS is more hamstrung than ever before so now's the time to commit that fraud if you wanna roll the dice. Not that I advocate tax fraud -- Besides being morally reprehensible, if you get caught, you're absolutely hosed.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2019 17:39

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Nocheez posted:

"Stepping over dollars to pick up pennies" is how I see that sort of decision-making. My brother, when I had my first kid on the way, dared to ask for $6k to "make his racing dreams come true." It's like the grasshopper and the ant come to life.

Shoulda bought him a racecar bed and left it in his living room

# ¿ Feb 6, 2019 20:43

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Droo posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/aqkw1l/i_realized_i_accidentally_filed_fraudulent/

"I feel really guilty" should always be parsed as "my bullshit got found out and now I'm scared as hell of consequences"

# ¿ Feb 14, 2019 19:35

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Nocheez posted:

The rules are the same for everybody: it's free to borrow, bring it back on time. I consider myself pretty progressive, but I don't see this being a class problem.

Rich people don't borrow books, they buy them from Amazon and have them shipped to their house or download to their kindle.

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."

# ¿ Feb 19, 2019 19:57

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Krispy Wafer posted:

Under most* circumstances, you don't got public until you know you've got a sustainable business model because now you have to tell people how great or lovely your revenue is and you can go to jail if you lie.

Before you go public you can hide all that info and while you still can't lie to investors, you can massage the truth much easier. All the Enron people got convicted for lying about the state of the company in those final months, not for all the dirty poo poo they did the decade prior. So even if Lyft's IPO under performs, it still is likely to be worth most of what it sold for in 3 months.

* I say most because apparently Blue Apron had an IPO and WTF were those investors thinking.

Is investor storytime lying to investors if you just make a convincing layman's case that the tech that will make your model profitable will probably exist sometime in the next decade? As long as you're not caught with emails saying "yeah I'll throw meat to the slavering investor rubes" does plausible deniability get you there or what?

Self-driving cars, delivery drones, hyperloops, whatever, are all effectively bagholder scams, but as long as you don't acknowledge the fact you can just play dumb and cash out, no?

# ¿ Apr 2, 2019 18:13

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Sepherothic posted:

Bookchat time.

So i read this book recently and it was chock full of BWM and BWL.

A single vertebral fusion or disc replacement can cost 15,000-100,000 dollars, with something like a 50% success rate (a hip replacement has ~99% success rate). Fusions often lead to issues at other discs, and artificial discs are known to crush and fail. Many patients end up in worse pain after surgery. There is a huge incentive to prioritize untested and unregulated implants over conservative treatment leading to exactly what you expect, paydays for surgeons and crippled patients.

And that's just getting started. Opioid drugs. Chiropractors. Laser probe disc treatments. Unlicensed physical therapy. Its and endless stream of BWM chasing after a cure.

This book was a huge eye opener in terms of how much money gets thrown into a pile labeled "spine treatment" and is then promptly set on fire. Would recommend.

As someone who had a spinal fusion at the age of 16 this is loving terrifying

e: To offset the self-posting probie I may get and to preserve my posting honor: I have a buddy who recently got laid off from his job at an HVAC repair company after damaging 5-figures worth of equipment. I sat down with him to try and work out a budget to keep his savings intact as long as possible while he searches for a new job. He spends $110 a month on a climbing gym, which he flagged as non-negotiable because "I've got too much energy and I'll go crazy"

Not a Children fucked around with this message at 16:29 on Apr 12, 2019

# ¿ Apr 12, 2019 16:26

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

DarkHorse posted:

How he didn't get nailed for structuring I have no idea

because banks have no incentive to report if the letter of the law isn't being violated

# ¿ Jun 27, 2019 19:27

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Spring Heeled Jack posted:

perhaps the lenders should go gently caress themselves?

For real. The economy of risk shouldn't be one-sided

# ¿ Jul 15, 2019 15:06

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

BonerGhost posted:

I've read that the rules lawyering is just as a part of it as the rules themselves, since God made people clever and likes to see them use it.

Any Jews in here who can confirm/deny?

100% true though the more hardcore sects view it as part of god's design and not, like, us tricking him

# ¿ Aug 5, 2019 19:33

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Almost seems like a honeypot post, but hey, there's been worse

Going through his posting history he says she made 40-50k working part time and he makes 10 times that so uh that might play into things a bit

# ¿ Aug 13, 2019 20:27

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

EAT FASTER!!!!!! posted:

I don't really follow this post, and would appreciate some clarification?

"If you're going to date a woman the least you can do is take a genuine interest in supporting her, and that includes her children" is what OP was going for, I think

# ¿ Aug 14, 2019 18:33

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Krispy Wafer posted:

Funny story about vaginas and money, when I worked at a bank our strip club account would buy $10k 1�s every Friday and request crumpled old bills because the crisp ones gave the sexy ladies paper cuts.

And I realize the money doesn�t go in the vaginas. At least now I do.

Do you separate the bills into used/new...?

# ¿ Aug 15, 2019 00:16

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

I mean, just as a plain fact, assume that cash is filthy. Assume everyone who has ever touched a bill went to the bathroom and didn't wash their hands just before handing it over. Assume there is a continual lineup of G-men sneezing on the printing presses, because it might as well be that way after more than 2 people touch a fresh bill

# ¿ Aug 15, 2019 15:59

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

I'll never tire of hearing about people with expertise in one field utterly embarrass themselves in another

Much like my posting

# ¿ Sep 10, 2019 03:42

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Bird in a Blender posted:

As someone who has never had this issue. What realistically happens if she just never ever pays it off? Ok the bank comes after her, if she just continues to ignore letters and calls from the bank, what happens next? Do they send it off to a collections agency, who she then continues to ignore forever? I understand her credit would practically be a negative number, but if she doesn't care about that, would it ever go away?

p sure the debt owner can get a judgment and garnish wages if it's allowed in their state

efb

# ¿ Dec 20, 2019 18:45

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Rotten Red Rod posted:

Bart Higgins, founder of an innovation consultancy firm, rents a four-bedroom converted warehouse in Brooklyn's Fort Greene neighborhood with his wife and twin five-year-olds. The couple pays $5,300 a month.

"If I was going to buy that, it would be between $2 to $3 million," he said. "I would have to manifest $600,000 in cash. I can't get my head around it. I can't find a way to rationalize that burden."

Trying to imagine the actual meaning of the phrase "innovation consultancy" that doesn't reduce to being a rich failson hanging out with other rich failsons

# ¿ Jan 9, 2020 05:28

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

OctaMurk posted:

Her parents give her as allowances and paid expenses, significantly more than my monthly pay as an engineer with a Masters degree

As a fellow engineer with a Masters degree:

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

dude find a new job

If you're not straight outta school you're gettin' hosed

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 20:42

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Isn't the whole point of having the shared ledger so that you have an immutable record of transactions?

# ¿ Feb 21, 2020 18:43

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

As someone who designs electrical distribution specifically for water and wastewater treatment plants:

If the municipal water or power turns off for an extended period, you probably have bigger things to worry about than the 'rona. Utility personnel being sick, even a lot of them, should not cause an interruption in services under normal circumstances.

Scarodactyl posted:

https://twitter.com/PhilipRucker/status/1238819220525285377
Bad with morality.

Why in the gently caress is this rear end in a top hat getting a semi-sympathetic writeup? People should be baying for his blood

# ¿ Mar 15, 2020 05:46

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Looks like their defenses are "my finances are handled by third parties and I had no knowledge or say"

Slamming that plausible deniability button over and over. How fuckin' fair is it that rich people don't even need to pay attention to how their money is making money?

But yeah, all you need to do is find one person willing to talk

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 15:04

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Krispy Wafer posted:

I never noticed it previously, but both Nashville and Atlanta have big office buildings downtown with WeWork emblazoned on them. How much office space does a company that resells office space really need? Maybe WeWork can just sell space to itself to weather the recession.

They were a "bigger sucker" company that successfully sold itself on infinite growth

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 14:49

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

That horse is going to cause a divorce, calling it

# ¿ Mar 26, 2020 14:57

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Motronic posted:

Recently my parents told me to invest some of my money with them, but it sounds too good to be true. (self.personalfinance)

submitted 28 minutes ago by Real_Darth_Revan

Yeesh. At least he had the wherewithal to know it doesn't pass the sniff test.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2020 20:51

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

BonerGhost posted:

U fucken know it

Gave my mom and sister 8 rolls of TP from my stash bc we have a bidet

Gwm: not buying TP cause you're blasting your b hole with icy cold water (there's no electrical outlet or warm water hookup within reach of our toilet)

A qualified electrician will install an outlet for ~$100 and make your life so much sweeter

# ¿ Apr 5, 2020 08:21

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Oil! posted:

Frac companies are some of the most BWM companies imaginable. Imagine an area where there are enough wells being drilled for 100 frac fleets. 15 companies all built up thinking they could have 20 fleets running. The margins were good and oilfield venture capitalists were drooling over getting that profit. This was an amazing market to work with as a producer because they competed themselves to near zero margin. Now that the bottom fell out, I hope the workers didn't get on the truck equity treadmill.

You're fooling yourself if you think there's not ~$55k in truck equity per capita floating out there

# ¿ Apr 18, 2020 05:00

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

I always assumed the more important signaling from using the term "entrepreneur" was to flaunt the cachet of wealth, not to actually talk about what you do

It's used specifically to summon suckers, sycophants, and leeches

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 21:51

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Just use your $1200 check from last month which was precipitated on a crisis that started the month before to pay rent this and next month NO BIG

# ¿ May 13, 2020 21:42

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Please tell me your brother is under 25

Oh wait he's been doing this for 10 years

Hope you're ready for when he comes a-knockin', hat in hand

# ¿ Jul 2, 2020 16:21

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

As someone who helps to manage several friends' budgets, I've found that "cash" tends to go to one of three things:

1) Tips
2) Drugs
3) "Entertainment" (Read: prostitutes)

# ¿ Jul 3, 2020 18:14

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Duckman2008 posted:

This is completely true.

My favorite is ATT launching their own streaming service , but it has a 2 year contract , and the price almost doubles at year 2. Wtf are you thinking ?

What it is, is that at the company , you basically have to drink the kool aid. If you give constructive criticism, even in as politically correct way as possible, you�ll just get branded �not a team player� and they�ll suddenly start finding excuses to write you up (yup this happened to me).

Every time they post on ATT losing a few million DTV subscribers and the debt they�re in, I just smile. gently caress that company.

Never been happier to have not made it past their screener interview when they came to my college

It was 8+ years ago at this point but I remember distinctly that some of their feedback was "was not appropriately enthusiastic/knowledgeable about the company." Motherfuckers that's why I attended the interview, to find out

# ¿ Jul 3, 2020 23:05

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Inner Light posted:

Now, prefaced with of course I am not a wholly ethical person, it seems like folks on the internet are Very Okay with scratching up a rental car then not admitting to the damages. I'm curious about how others see the ethics there. I'm not sure what I would do.

The windshield chip thing is a totally different situation, seems like normal wear that a customer shouldn't be asked to cover, but what about offroad scratches?

Then there is of course the difference between a fib of omission and not literally pointing it out during the inspection, and denying it after the fact.

My dude there are people that will literally rent a car and swap out the engine, not worth your time to ponder

# ¿ Jul 15, 2020 22:29

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

As a dude who, if I got that surgery, would be just over that guy's current height, I can assert 100% that it will not make him happier to get absolutely brutal reconstructive surgery to be average height - I would bet literally everything I own that the fact that he's not 6'-whatever will continue to haunt him

Not gonna say being short doesn't confer social disadvantages, but it's nothing that can't be overcome for a shitload less than $80k and a lifetime of leg pain. Spend a fraction of that on therapy man

# ¿ Aug 1, 2020 21:16

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

Something painful I never expected to witness:

Watching people get laid off while they have a Silly Background up

I didn't personally witness it but one of my (now ex) coworkers got fired immediately after a meeting where he, as a joke, "accidentally" had a background of ahego collage for about 10 seconds

He was fired for unrelated reasons but I like to think that was the final kicker

# ¿ Aug 5, 2020 21:30

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Rich Dad Poor Dad is good as an absolute beginners book for someone who is just getting their feet wet with regards to money management

Like most financial primers by someone who overreaches their philosophical chops, it devolves into essentially shamanism after a certain point, describing value in a common-sense but unempirical way that is fundamentally flawed

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 19:34

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

Shamanism? Incoherent philosophical takes?

What are you talking about?

lmao I thought maybe I was being a little harsh on this dude but nevermind

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 20:10

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

If you say anything with enough confidence survivorship bias will take care of the rest

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 21:08

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 20:18

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

I gotta believe that stuff is fake ragebait, I don't think even dumb failchildren have that little self-awareness

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 18:19

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