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Childhood, when your neurons are firing like crazy, making all sorts of new connections... Oh how drugs fail to replicate thee! (although they feel better than childhood imo) Kid stories are nuts. Complete nonsense. They're hilarious. I would like to read some. Mine sucked rear end fyi I liked videogames, so in the second grade I just handed in the synopsis for Super Mario RPG but in French. Because my school was French Catholic. One of the teachers smashed a mason jar because a kid was talking and cut herself good. She was a former navy lieutenant. Nunzilla we'd say. Oh, I never finished the game so my story ended abruptly. This was in a small former mining town in Northern Ontario, mind. You can find it on a map, maybe? The town's name is a cardinal direction + woodland critter, if you feel like doxxing my past. And then in third grade I made an oc that was Bowser but as a Bomberman because we had to draw an alien and make a story. I remember the teacher's expression when she was trying to read it.  Yours better be better than this weak rear end garbage.
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Jan 4, 2019 23:37
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Sort of related but my 8th grade was in a high-end catholic school and my home class was the english teacher who was this super old polish woman. The first day of 8th grade involved the whole class going to mass and then the teacher saying some stuff to each student starting with their name. When she got to me she said "I want to be in a relationship with you" 
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Jan 4, 2019 23:41
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Also I distinctly remember in the same year we had to make our own greek mythology character and I made a knock-off Pokemon called a Gemma with a giant jewel on its tail that it broke and thats why there were gems in the world. And I wrote approximately the length of this post for its backstory and the polish woman got disgusted at me and angrily handed my paper back to me demanding more effort the next day.
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Jan 4, 2019 23:44
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Oh dude. Friend. We have stuff in common I see. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh how dare you be my friend that's it. You are going to mass for 217602 years. Now go to church Sorry, just reliving some bad poo poo. Yeah, I ended my Catholic education after the eighth grade. It was in a different place. An actual real canadian city. Just kidding it was sudbury. The homeroom teacher I had in 7th grade was so angry. Picture a poor mushroom/glans haired lady that has glasses and is mad. And yelled a lot. I was in a very fragile place having just moved under the circumstances that we did and having ADHD/other very obvious disorders. She liked to yell, slam things, throw things around and then one day she just disappeared. She was back the next year. Teaching KINDERGARTEN for some loving reason. You would walk by the kindergarten section and just hear her screaming <<ON ASSI COMME UN INDIEN!!!!>> angrily. Probably because a little kid was shifting around or not sitting in the way our curriculum demanded. Mods rename this thread to Catholic School Horror Stories. Because there's more. I can ask my brother what poo poo he remembers too. Plant MONSTER. fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Jan 5, 2019 |
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Jan 5, 2019 00:07
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in second grade we were supposed to write a "fairy tale" and when i asked what consitutes a "fairy tale" they said anything that had magic in it. i wrote a story about a guy who killed his family and used magic to escape jail lol. I got in trouble for that one 
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Jan 5, 2019 00:36
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 Catholic School Horror Stories : the computer lab teacher was equal parts witch and bitch (as I recall this for the thread she very very vaguely looks like an older bayonetta). She would often yell at students for the smallest things if things went wrong for the computers in the lab over the buzzing of dozens of macs. I most distinctly remember one time she had to take a girl outside the room and yell at her in the hall over something, probably a late submission, and I remember her trying not to cry while the teacher was slightly hunched (student was small) and a faculty member just standing at her side doing nothing. Or was in on it. You could also hear her down the hall when you were in a regular classroom. Also I remember one time where she went on a 3 minute loud tangent about how a kid who told a simple lie was "FULL OF EMPTY PROMISES AND WORDS WHERE NOBODY CAN TRUST YOU" to the best of my memory. Also: her excuse was that she needed to be LOUD and VOCAL was something because of her husband. Yeah, sure   stories we were forced to write in school : I think on the first day of 7th grade the teacher opened up with how we had to do a research paper right off the bat and due 1-2 months from the starting point based on something from the Renaissance. My dumb rear end self almost chose the Anglican Church(google it) then wisely decided to write about Michaelango instead. The guy who hid his face in parts of the sistine chapel, that one. Got a good grade on IIRC. Then next year was Da Vinci because we already had experience once the prior year. Bit of a heavy thing to start off on IMO.
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Jan 5, 2019 00:36
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In first grade I wrote about a boy who went into a spooky house and was scared by a mummy. I wrote a story about the band Hanson (which should pretty effectively date it) going on an undersea adventure to save atlantis. I think that was about 4th grade In 8th grade I wrote a story about a young couple who bonded by finding huge, unoccupied McMansions and blowing them up. I think I had just read Chuck Palaniuk for the first time and had an anarchist kick going In 9th grade I had a military obsessed friend (this was early war on terror so it wasn't uncommon) and he always wrote really boring tales of modern military heroism and read them aloud in class so I wrote a story that was like 5 pages of buildup to a battle before the main character (who was named after my friend) shits and pisses his pants then drops a live grenade at his own feet and dies in an embarrassing fashion. This kicked off an entire semester of us writing each other into increasingly obscure wars only to die in horrible, undignified ways. Finally in 12th grade I wrote a short story about a couple of high schools seniors named summer and sam who were obviously in love despite summer being in a relationship with some jerk guy and the twist at the end is that sam, the narrator, was actually samantha and they were hiding their gay love from society. I'm actually sort of proud of that one, even if it was trite and obvious; it was sort of good for a teenager's class assignment. EDIT: hmmm that last one probably should have been a red flag in regards to my own sexuality Riatsala fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Jan 5, 2019 |
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Jan 5, 2019 00:41
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Riatsala posted:In 9th grade I had a military obsessed friend (this was early war on terror so it wasn't uncommon) and he always wrote really boring tales of modern military heroism and read them aloud in class so I wrote a story that was like 5 pages of buildup to a battle before the main character (who was named after my friend) shits and pisses his pants then drops a live grenade at his own feet and dies in an embarrassing fashion. This kicked off an entire semester of us writing each other into increasingly obscure wars only to die in horrible, undignified ways. This reminds me of one GBS thread where a guy found really bad tom clancy-knockoff fanfiction in a garage sale with a russian having thick beet like fingers while also insulting 5.56mm cartridges before somebody shitted up the thread to death. Stealth E: HOLY poo poo I FOUND IT https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3784600&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 I bring this up because I wonder if your friend or a friend of your friend eventually made this
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Jan 5, 2019 00:45
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One time I rewrote the plot of Star Fox 64 except I changed the names to something like Missile Chaingun and Lazer Explosion. Oh, and I replaced Fox with Dash Rendar. Got an A
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Jan 5, 2019 00:46
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Riatsala, you sound like a pretty good writer, based on those summaries. Hanson saves Atlantis. My goodness! Should I have been half as gifted... I may been able to get higher than a C-/C. We had to write a fantasy type thing in... i think it was third grade. I was so uninspired during the whole thing. It was literally called <<L'Histoire des Animeaux qui Parlent>>. The Story of the Animals that Talked. Which actually sounds foreboding now?
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Jan 5, 2019 00:53
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Who What Now posted:One time I rewrote the plot of Star Fox 64 except I changed the names to something like Missile Chaingun and Lazer Explosion. Oh, and I replaced Fox with Dash Rendar. Dash had to fly into the sun and fight some animate lava to save a frog
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Jan 5, 2019 00:55
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EorayMel posted:This reminds me of one GBS thread where a guy found really bad tom clancy-knockoff fanfiction in a garage sale with a russian having thick beet like fingers while also insulting 5.56mm cartridges before somebody shitted up the thread to death. Ha! That's some great stuff. I bet that's the sort of thing he would have eventually written if he had not gone directly into the military after high school and become instantly disillusioned with the whole thing, which was painfully predictable but ultimately a good development. I think he's an artist nowadays, which was also not too shocking; dude could draw caricatures and comics better than most adult artists when he was 14.
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Jan 5, 2019 00:55
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I just remembered one time I had to write a short paper about the history of India for history class and read it aloud, but I only wrote it at like 10:00 PM and MS Word crapped out and somehow refused to allow me to make edits on things. So I brutally memorized what I wanted to say on the last third of the page during the presentation. Got a good grade for it in the end. Also one time we had to do NOT JUST a book report, but give a book report while also presenting a cereal box dressed up to be similar to the book in question. It sucked rear end also the cereal box counted for exactly half the project's grade. But I most remember a girl who thought she only needed to do the report, and didn't have a cereal box. So she got a 50. Which was an F. Directly presented to her from the teacher. As the very first student to come up and show it to the class.  However, would the following have been accepted as a story you were forced to write in school? Discuss: 
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Jan 5, 2019 00:59
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back around 4th grade, i was supposed to write a creative short story about going camping. i turned in a long multi-page thing and most of it was long, detailed descriptions of the campers getting eaten by wolves.i got a bad grade on it which was extremely bullshit, my story was good. it had a 3 act structure and everything.
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Jan 5, 2019 01:01
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Yeah well I could draw a good charizard when I was 10!!! Art. That's why I actually remember LT Nunzilla fondly. I was a childe of gentle nature, you see. The other kids would cause her to get so angry that she would just dismiss the class before she smashed another mason jar and start bleeding out in front of kids. Anyway, I'd stay behind and apologize on behalf of the class and she would let me stay and she'd let me draw with all sorts of mediums.
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Jan 5, 2019 01:02
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EorayMel posted:I just remembered one time I had to write a short paper about the history of India for history class and read it aloud, but I only wrote it at like 10:00 PM and MS Word crapped out and somehow refused to allow me to make edits on things. So I brutally memorized what I wanted to say on the last third of the page during the presentation. Got a good grade for it in the end. Lol if all my presentations weren't made up the day of. But if we got to pick our subject, I'd be good to just memorize every fact I needed. Did an 8th grade presentation on New Age Music 🐬 🌈 🎵
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Jan 5, 2019 01:07
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I wrote a terrible like 17,000 word length garbage story about space and fighting and some weird stuff happening in a church and stole names from Starcraft ships and planets. I loving hated writing it the whole time. I'm sure it hated being written just as badly. It was for a junior year AP English class. When I was much younger I wrote a story about a gray cat who went looking for his friend on a rainy day. I don't remember if he found them or not. I can't recall if this was for school or not.
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Jan 5, 2019 01:08
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Plant MONSTER. posted:Riatsala, you sound like a pretty good writer, based on those summaries. Hanson saves Atlantis. My goodness! Should I have been half as gifted... I may been able to get higher than a C-/C. That's very kind, I was certainly precocious and lucky enough to have teachers who encouraged my... creativity. My everlasting shame, though, is that I once wrote the plot to Tomba 2 as a creative writing assignment. I didn't change much, because who else had ever played it?
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Jan 5, 2019 01:13
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Plant MONSTER. posted:And then in third grade I made an oc that was Bowser but as a Bomberman because we had to draw an alien and make a story. I remember the teacher's expression when she was trying to read it. 
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Jan 5, 2019 01:31
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This was in seventh grade. I don't remember the exact assignment, but it was something like "write a letter from one character to another" based on Wuthering Heights. Creative license was encouraged. I wrote a letter from Heathcliff to somebody subtly insinuating that he had been involuntarily committed to an insane asylum. My teacher loved it, except for the end where Heathcliff's sign-off indicated that he was writing from the Loon Ebin Estate. I was glad she liked it, but mildly miffed that she thought the sign-off was so hamfisted. I had no clue what such a place would've been named, and thought the subtext might've been otherwise missed. She was undoubtedly correct, and a great teacher.
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Jan 5, 2019 02:05
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...Did you make that? Did you just have it on hand? Please know I find you fascinating, Putty.
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Jan 5, 2019 02:52
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Plant MONSTER. posted:...Did you make that? Did you just have it on hand? Please know I find you fascinating, Putty.
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Jan 5, 2019 03:15
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I was extremely lazy so I just grabbed my plots from obscure PC games. Other than that I can't remember any of them, except for one story writing relay in 6th grade (send around 4 or so papers beginning with the same sentence, write a few lines then send it to the next classmate), half my class were hormone-addled jocks so that went well (no, we didn't get to keep them). At least I learned what "Jag ska bazza dig!" meant
latent lunatic fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Jan 5, 2019 |
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Jan 5, 2019 03:40
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Re-wrote the plot to a dragon ball movie for some creative writing junk, it had to be a fable. The movie was the one with pans grandkids.
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Jan 5, 2019 03:56
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We had to write Halloween stories in 5th grade and in my story I decapitated a vampire and I had to go to the principal's office because it was "too violent " Wtf that's perfectly in tone for a Halloween story
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Jan 5, 2019 03:58
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Vampires LIKE being decapitated. The head grows wings and just grows a new body whenever. What a lovely teacher. I honestly never knew rewriting video game plots was so prevalent. Goonchildren.
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Jan 5, 2019 04:59
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They didn't make me write stories in school, poo poo they didn't believe in that imagination crap. I went to a catholic grade school where the "library" was two small wheeled carts of donated and garage-sale paperbacks. My parents paid money to send six children to that school lol.
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Jan 5, 2019 05:16
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I don't remember any of the stupid kid stories I wrote, though I'm sure there were dozens. I do remember like, every loving year first through ~4thish grade early in the year when the teacher was softballing assignments there was always a "write a report about your hero," and I never, ever had anyone to write about and my teachers would get really lovely with me when I said I didn't have a hero and there was absolutely nobody in the world I looked up to. I always had to bullshit something and I was a really passive aggressive shithead kid, like I never *did* anything bad and I got great grades, I was just a resentful vindictive contrarian because I was bored or whatever. One year I picked Albert Belle because he didn't give interviews and refused to apologize, which I found admirable. Another year I picked Daria because I liked that she didn't care about anything and didn't fake her way through life to please others. In retrospect I think I was a tiny nihilist/huge pain in the dick to all my teachers. Heroes as a concept are still loving stupid though, like how weak of self do you have to be to want to be like someone else?
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Jan 5, 2019 05:29
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I wrote a really bad story about zombies for writers craft. They didn't really eat brains and just wanted to get out of their stuffy coffins and go back home to their jobs and families, causing a major labor crisis because they took up all the living jobs.
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Jan 5, 2019 12:48
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Every creative writing excercise I ever did I submitted pretty much the exact same story that I plagiarized from this book 
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Jan 5, 2019 12:51
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Had to write a gothic story for English, so I wrote about some guy visiting an old friend twenty years after he became a recluse following the death of his fiancée on their wedding day and slowly realising that he actually killed her and stored her head inside a big clock on his mantelpiece which had driven him mad over the years. The teacher took me aside afterwards with the head of year because they were concerned that I'd come up with something like that and felt it was too disturbing but it was just all the gothic literature we'd been reading in class all just mashed together so I don't know what the problem was. We also had to do some weird thing for homework where we had to rewrite the Tempest but with the characters and setting of a book, movie or TV show of our choice, like some kind of weird Tempest AU fanfic. Mine was Twin Peaks but I don't remember the mechanics of it, only that she didn't really like that either. So few people actually wrote anything though, so in the end she just abandoned the idea of that homework and it never got properly graded.
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Jan 5, 2019 13:11
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I remember being proud of a story I wrote at about 7 years old, I was already deeply into swords and sorcery fantasy stuff so I wrote about myself being an adventurer fighting goblins on an island. I even made a map of the island and everything, just like in the front of the cool fighting fantasy books I probably wasn't able to read properly.
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Jan 5, 2019 13:17
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When I was in 6th grade I wrote a super obnoxious story about hamsters (this was back when the *holds up spork* monkey dishwasher style of humor was all the rage if you were a preteen). The gifted teacher gave me a zero and a detention and suggested to my parents to have me retake the IQ test that got me in in the first place. Even in to high school she lobbied to the other teachers that I was too stupid to stay in gifted/enter AP classes. To be fair to her though, it was a really stupid story that deserved the grade it got.
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Jan 5, 2019 13:18
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In 8th grade English we had to do a short book report on a novel of our choosing from the school library and read it in front of the class. The teacher would then ask a few key questions about the book to make sure you actually read it. The due date came along and I not only had not read a book but I hadn’t even chosen one to read. So I decided rather than take my zero, I would try to pull one over on the teacher and write a report on a book that didn’t exist. I figured I could get away with it by saying I got it from some other library and that way the teacher would not be familiar with it. I made up a title and an author and a year and a publisher and even a card catalog number. All I can remember about my story was it was about a haunted house. I got up in front of the class and felt a sense of doom as I realized I was a terrible bullshitter and this was not going to work. It didn’t help that I was also a bumbling mess of middle school social awkwardness who could barely talk. The teacher eyed me suspiciously and started quizzing me on my “book”. There was an exchange that went like this. Me: there was um, this guy named um____. And he bought this house and um... there was this ghost. Teacher: and what did the ghost do? Me: um.... haunted um, people and stuff. (Class lols) The public shaming and harsh punishment for book report fraud that I expected and deserved never came. Maybe the teacher felt sorry for me. He just let me sit back down. I probably got an F, but he never said anything to me about it. I sort of got away with it but I felt like a loving idiot and I never tried any poo poo like that again.
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Jan 5, 2019 18:44
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Plant MONSTER. posted:This was in a small former mining town in Northern Ontario, mind. You can find it on a map, maybe? The town's name is a cardinal direction + woodland critter, if you feel like doxxing my past. wow you trimmed the list of towns you might be from in northern ontario from 10,000 to 9,540
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Jan 5, 2019 18:50
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If you were to spend a day with Jesus, what would you do? If you grew up during bible times, who would you like to visit first and why?
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Jan 5, 2019 19:00
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yeah I eat rear end posted:When I was in 6th grade I wrote a super obnoxious story about hamsters (this was back when the *holds up spork* monkey dishwasher style of humor was all the rage if you were a preteen). The gifted teacher gave me a zero and a detention and suggested to my parents to have me retake the IQ test that got me in in the first place. Even in to high school she lobbied to the other teachers that I was too stupid to stay in gifted/enter AP classes... This sounds like a very impressive story. What did the obnoxious hamsters do in it? BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Jan 5, 2019 |
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Jan 5, 2019 19:02
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kept drawing swastikas in german class so my teacher made me write an essay, I wrote an essay about how writing essays is a stupid form of punishment and I was not sorry for anything lol
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Jan 5, 2019 19:03
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In 8th Grade I had to write a Halloween story for my English class, I wrote a short story that was an episode of Scooby Doo where I was the celebrity guest star. I don't remember the specifics of it but it was a pretty standard Scooby Doo plot but with my character making smart rear end comments about everything and pointing out plot holes. I actually got to read it in front of the class and everybody couldn't stop laughing, even the teacher who was pretty laid back thought it was hilarious. That said, literally every other time I had to write a story in school it was some cringey, overly ambitious, sci-fi or fantasy story where I'd spend like 3 pages getting maybe halfway through introducing everything and then have to abruptly end it in like a page cause I hosed up and it was only supposed to be a 4 page assignment.
The Shockmaster fucked around with this message at 21:55 on Jan 5, 2019 |
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Jan 5, 2019 21:50
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I found a story I wrote in kindergarten   
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Jan 5, 2019 21:56
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