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The only time I've ever been to church is when I was forced to in school. lol catholics
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Jan 14, 2019 06:54
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 11:50 |
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I was raised among prosperity gospel baptist assholes but if you've never been exposed to church and want to check it out episcopals are the most accessible gateway drug. Also the actual text of the new testament is pretty explicit about unfettered revolutionary class warfare being cool & good.
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Jan 14, 2019 07:42
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Hey baby I hear the bells a-callin Tossed salad and gargled balls
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Jan 14, 2019 07:43
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yeah I eat rear end posted:the pope is a heretic and praying to the saints is an affront to God. I'm an atheist so I think all of this is horseshit that irrationally violent assholes use to post facto justify their violent urges, but Catholics don't pray to saints to directly ask them for poo poo. They ask the saints to intercede with God on their behalf.
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Jan 14, 2019 07:51
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holy poo poo priessst
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Jan 14, 2019 09:43
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The trick to enjoying church is to go there as little as possible, so when you end up in one for whatever reason you are like "whoa!" Also, don't be a protestant because their churches suck.
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Jan 14, 2019 10:46
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Honestly if God wanted us to go to church he wouldn't have put it on the same day as Football and Nascar.
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Jan 14, 2019 11:10
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Sekenr posted:The trick to enjoying church is to go there as little as possible, so when you end up in one for whatever reason you are like "whoa!" Also, don't be a protestant because their churches suck. I snuck into a service at St. Marks in Venice yesterday, can confirm
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Jan 14, 2019 11:17
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My friend took me to his sunday school one time and they converted me to loving free donuts.
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Jan 14, 2019 11:23
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Whorelord posted:I snuck into a service at St. Marks in Venice yesterday, can confirm True church connoisseur right there.
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Jan 14, 2019 11:24
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I had to do confirmation as a Catholic and I was told to pick a Christian name to be confirmed under or something I don't really remember that was a long time ago anyway my given first name is Michael so I just picked Michael and at some point during the whole deal the priest had to refer to me as Michael Michael. That day also was the day that I gave The LORD his last chance to win me over as a true believer. I decided that since confirmation is supposed to be one of the more major points for a Catholic that I should notice or otherwise be aware of The LORD's presence at some point during the ceremony and if I did I was going to continue being Catholic and just deal with it. If The LORD did not make his presence felt then it probably was all some sort of elaborate hoax and I could safely leave religious life and do whatever I wanted. Even though The LORD chose to ignore his flock on that day I still had to go to church every Sunday until I turned 18 because of my mom.
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Jan 14, 2019 11:38
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The only time I willingly went to church is when my friend told me how much fun catechism was. She really talked up how awesome and amazing it was, and I asked my parents if I could go with her. Turns out I had to go to a special catechism for non- Catholics and they gave me some worksheets on how Ill go to hell if I don't become a Catholic to color.
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Jan 14, 2019 14:22
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You would think churches run out of material only using one book
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Jan 14, 2019 14:24
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I was raised Catholic and my parents took me to church every Sunday. Until my Dad lost his job when I was about 6 years old and a bunch of people at church shamed him by claiming that he lost his job for offending God (he lost his job because he worked at a factory and they laid off a bunch of people) and got angry at us for not being able to donate any money to the Church any more. This was the year we skipped Christmas and my Dad worked at a fast food place while studying for his degree. We stopped going to church, which pissed off my Very Catholic Grandma. Until my Aunt, who's a nun, told everybody that organized religion had been perverted by a bunch of greedy hypocrites and that we didn't need to go to Church unless we found one we agreed with. So that was the end of Church for my family. We went to a christening at that church a few years later and my Dad "accidentally" knocked over a bunch of poo poo and the priest had to pick it all up in front of him.
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Jan 14, 2019 15:20
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vyst posted:You would think churches run out of material only using one book Despite my views on organized religion, the Bible has some pretty sweet stuff in it and should be read at some point in your life, if only for the historical significance. Jesus beating the poo poo out of the moneychangers in temple and smashing their tables is pretty famous and it's something I thought about a lot in church as a kid when the collection plate went around. I imagined he was literally suplexing people through tables (like Stone Cold Steve Austin) and I still like to imagine that's how it went down.
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Jan 14, 2019 15:26
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i went to the congregational church so it was mostly about being good to each other and singing. something about an ark. moses was good. see, i remember!
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Jan 14, 2019 15:37
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Saint Francis of Assisi is my spirit animal. It's true. A teacher gave me a pendant saying so.
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Jan 14, 2019 15:38
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Zeluth posted:Saint Francis of Assisi is my spirit animal. Same. Frank is the patron saint of failsons everywhere. I'm not a bum, I'm a supplicant!
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Jan 14, 2019 16:19
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Icochet posted:I'm not a bum, I'm a supplicant! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccTmHeoYZjE
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Jan 14, 2019 16:22
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I grew up in the super rapey Allentown diocese that was just in the news. I was an alter boy. I wasn't even molested. That's how fuckin ugly I am. PA loves some kid rape.
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Jan 14, 2019 16:50
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vyst posted:You would think churches run out of material only using one book They just keep looking through it over and over. They start with the begats because those are so boring you'll forget everything else you knew about the Bible.
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Jan 14, 2019 17:05
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i went to a russian orthodox liturgy a couple of weeks ago and it was wild. no pews, people just walking around the whole time kissing icons, they still had a rood screen, the priest just left for a while and came back in different vestments, everything was chanted at one point two priests came out and held up boxes covered with cloth while chanting in old slavonic. i assumed that was the Host, but then like 45 minutes later (it went on for like 2.5 hours) they celebrated the Consecration behind the rood screen, so i have no idea what was in the boxes anyway i go to Latin Mass, that poo poo rules. gregorian choir, lots of incense, bells all the time shame on an IGA posted:Also the actual text of the new testament is pretty explicit about unfettered revolutionary class warfare being cool & good. ya except for all of the very prominent and frequently-repeated commands to obey temporal authorities and not to revolt against them
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Jan 14, 2019 18:36
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekq0yl9rbGo
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Jan 14, 2019 18:40
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chernobyl kinsman posted:i went to a russian orthodox liturgy a couple of weeks ago and it was wild. no pews, people just walking around the whole time kissing icons, they still had a rood screen, the priest just left for a while and came back in different vestments, everything was chanted the boxes contained Blasphemy
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Jan 14, 2019 18:42
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WatermelonGun posted:the boxes contained Blasphemy prot spotted
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Jan 14, 2019 18:43
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chernobyl kinsman posted:prot spotted *scoffs towards rome*
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Jan 14, 2019 18:45
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Sekenr posted:True church connoisseur right there. St Mark's owns, can totally get why people are Catholic and I would be if it was all spectacular architecture, incense and free wine with no obvious kid rape.
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Jan 14, 2019 18:47
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WatermelonGun posted:*scoffs towards rome* extra ecclesiam nulla salus my good bitch
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Jan 14, 2019 18:49
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old beast lunatic posted:I grew up in the super rapey Allentown diocese that was just in the news. I was an alter boy. I wasn't even molested. That's how fuckin ugly I am. PA loves some kid rape. Circa 2007 Always Sunny in Philadelphia called. They want their jokes back.
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Jan 14, 2019 19:44
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg1BljLu9YY
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Jan 14, 2019 19:52
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Lil Devil posted:Circa 2007 Always Sunny in Philadelphia called. They want their jokes back. yeah whatever. At least i'm not dumb enough to still go to church 
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Jan 14, 2019 19:56
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I had to go to so many boring rear end catholic masses my entire childhood. My mom would always tell these lies like "one day you'll appreciate church and be happy to go." Nothing makes my adult weekends better than NOT going to church. Owned, mom. Catholic parents are all child abusers even if they don't rape.
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Jan 14, 2019 20:03
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Jesus. How about that guy? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8
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Jan 14, 2019 20:13
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old beast lunatic posted:I had to go to so many boring rear end catholic masses my entire childhood. My mom would always tell these lies like "one day you'll appreciate church and be happy to go." Nothing makes my adult weekends better than NOT going to church. Owned, mom. You wouldn't appreciate those free weekends as much if you hadn't been forced to go to church as a kid.
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Jan 14, 2019 20:37
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZKcl4-tcuo
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Jan 14, 2019 20:48
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old beast lunatic posted:I had to go to so many boring rear end catholic masses my entire childhood. My mom would always tell these lies like "one day you'll appreciate church and be happy to go." Nothing makes my adult weekends better than NOT going to church. Owned, mom. No joke I hated church and stopped going as soon as I could and never looked back. I know my mom feels like she failed in that part of raising me
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Jan 14, 2019 21:44
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Religious people made a retarded man president I don't think they really know what happens when we die.
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Jan 14, 2019 23:16
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When I was 12-ish I told my mom that I didn't want to go to church every Sunday anymore. Easter and such were fine, but not on the reg. Her reaction was essentially "Phew, good, I was getting tired of it too."
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Jan 14, 2019 23:32
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GORILLA BASTARD posted:I respect those super rich pastors. The one that told his followers that his wife's Maserati was approved by the lord & didn't get chased out of town afterwards. I can't knock that kind of hustle. If you can get cross-humpers to literally shovel their money to you, that's one bad bitch. I can't believe those gullible saps, giving all their money to some showy televangelist. They've fallen so far from God. Anyone with a brain knows that the only acceptable ways to worship and get into heaven is to send all your money to child molesters in Rome, or alternatively, give it all to elect US conservative politicians. Hopefully one day they will see the light.
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Jan 14, 2019 23:34
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God is dead.
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Jan 14, 2019 23:35
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