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SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


They banned Yo-Yos a week after they had a special group come in and do an assembly with Yo-Yos and sell them to the students.

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value-brand cereal
May 2, 2008

Does it feel like your love life has gotten a bit stale? Do you suspect that your partner is no longer attracted to you? Why not do what the ancient assyrians did and smear crushed Lobsta Fahts on their cock before applying a thin layer of Iron Dust on your Junk. They won’t be able to resist you.


Having to do Intruder Alert practices and if you didn't crawl under your nasty gross desk like all the others the entire class got punished.

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010



GORILLA BASTARD posted:

Had a nun in forth grade walk around with the broken top part of a wood hanger. If you held the fountain pen improperly she would smack your hand with it will berating you.

My script is pretty good actually. Fountain pens are the superior writing instruments.

Did everyone else briefly get taught to write in full cursive at all times only to have it reversed to never write in full cursive a few years later? In year four and five I had a teacher who was very strict in teaching proper handwriting. The problem was she was old as hell, and her version of proper handwriting was full cursive rather than simplified "running writing".



Note things like the z's and capital G, J and Q that are unrecognizable by their print letterforms. Anyone who was in her class internalized this writing style dutifully and unquestioningly until it became reflex. Then we got to year six and had different teachers who questioned why we all insisted on this inefficient ornate style. By the time I got to high school I was being told off by teachers for wasting my writing time and their ease of reading with my swirly bullshit, and they literally couldn't recognize the uncommon letterforms as many had never learned them.

Nic Cage dick cage
Jun 23, 2009



Lipstick Apathy

Our school had teachers who ranged from those who would overlook you smoking in the school sheds, to those who would belt gently caress out of you with a tawse simply for existing.

e: just to be clear, "I will batter gently caress out of you because you drummed your pencil off the desk/passed a note/you're a poor and I deserve to be teaching a better standard of pupil/I am bored and don't like the look of your face etc".

Nic Cage dick cage fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Jan 19, 2019

lol but
Feb 24, 2007

body is a dinosaur


Slippery Tilde

Moon Atari posted:

Did everyone else briefly get taught to write in full cursive at all times only to have it reversed to never write in full cursive a few years later? In year four and five I had a teacher who was very strict in teaching proper handwriting. The problem was she was old as hell, and her version of proper handwriting was full cursive rather than simplified "running writing".



Note things like the z's and capital G, J and Q that are unrecognizable by their print letterforms. Anyone who was in her class internalized this writing style dutifully and unquestioningly until it became reflex. Then we got to year six and had different teachers who questioned why we all insisted on this inefficient ornate style. By the time I got to high school I was being told off by teachers for wasting my writing time and their ease of reading with my swirly bullshit, and they literally couldn't recognize the uncommon letterforms as many had never learned them.

powerful troll from that teacher

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!



I learned cursive and my handwriting is poo poo but I find that far easier than printing letters.

value-brand cereal posted:

Having to do Intruder Alert practices and if you didn't crawl under your nasty gross desk like all the others the entire class got punished.

Oh jesus, this. I loathe the concept of "one person hosed up so EVERYBODY IS PUNISHED so much. One of the most egregious examples of this was one time in grade school we all had to stand in single file lines and wait until we could be freed to run around on the blacktop or whatever. The one kid who couldn't shut the gently caress up made the recess monitor or teacher before lunch break hold the entire class in the line starting with "NOW YOU HAVE ONLY 29 MINUTES OF RECESS" (30 minutes was the norm.)
Whenever one of the students loudly moaned in protest, the teacher ticked it down one minute. "NOW YOU ONLY HAVE 28 MINUTES, 27 etc" until it actually got down to 5 minutes of free time for that day.

I seriously do not know what that is supposed to teach, but I imagine it sure as hell didn't teach students to speak up on the fear they'll bring the entire ship down for being the hero.

Creamed Cormp
Jan 8, 2011

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


Moon Atari posted:

Did everyone else briefly get taught to write in full cursive at all times only to have it reversed to never write in full cursive a few years later? In year four and five I had a teacher who was very strict in teaching proper handwriting. The problem was she was old as hell, and her version of proper handwriting was full cursive rather than simplified "running writing".



Note things like the z's and capital G, J and Q that are unrecognizable by their print letterforms. Anyone who was in her class internalized this writing style dutifully and unquestioningly until it became reflex. Then we got to year six and had different teachers who questioned why we all insisted on this inefficient ornate style. By the time I got to high school I was being told off by teachers for wasting my writing time and their ease of reading with my swirly bullshit, and they literally couldn't recognize the uncommon letterforms as many had never learned them.

tbqh I still to this day will default to considering people who don't write in cursive to be... let's say a bit slow witted. I know it's not a reasonable thing to think, but whatever.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


EorayMel posted:

I seriously do not know what that is supposed to teach, but I imagine it sure as hell didn't teach students to speak up on the fear they'll bring the entire ship down for being the hero.

snitching

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


Someone shat on the floor once when I was in like 6th grade. They closed the bathroom for the afternoon as punishment. In a school with one bathroom for each gender.

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


Sick teachers would sometimes not have their lesson plans in order, so they'd leave a bunch of sheets with math/word problems printed out for the sub to distribute. If you called it busy work the sub would say "you still have to do it, it's going to be graded". If you didn't do the busy work, you got punished. At the end of class, the whole sheaf of papers would be in the trash.

Finish early? Put your head down on your desk.

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos


Moon Atari posted:

Did everyone else briefly get taught to write in full cursive at all times only to have it reversed to never write in full cursive a few years later? In year four and five I had a teacher who was very strict in teaching proper handwriting. The problem was she was old as hell, and her version of proper handwriting was full cursive rather than simplified "running writing".



Note things like the z's and capital G, J and Q that are unrecognizable by their print letterforms. Anyone who was in her class internalized this writing style dutifully and unquestioningly until it became reflex. Then we got to year six and had different teachers who questioned why we all insisted on this inefficient ornate style. By the time I got to high school I was being told off by teachers for wasting my writing time and their ease of reading with my swirly bullshit, and they literally couldn't recognize the uncommon letterforms as many had never learned them.
This was the sort of cursive we learned in 3rd grade so I find it fairly readable when done by someone who knows what they are doing, weird Zs and Gs and all. Problem is by 5th grade even after a year of it being mandatory in 4th grade there was like only 2 people who could do it well and that's when the teachers were like please go back to print you little shits.

Then middle school had random english teachers who would require cursive in handwritten assignments but luckily my family had a computer and printer so got around getting scored on handwriting we learned 4 years ago and were told we sucked too much at to continue using.

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


Moon Atari posted:

Did everyone else briefly get taught to write in full cursive at all times only to have it reversed to never write in full cursive a few years later? In year four and five I had a teacher who was very strict in teaching proper handwriting. The problem was she was old as hell, and her version of proper handwriting was full cursive rather than simplified "running writing".



Note things like the z's and capital G, J and Q that are unrecognizable by their print letterforms. Anyone who was in her class internalized this writing style dutifully and unquestioningly until it became reflex. Then we got to year six and had different teachers who questioned why we all insisted on this inefficient ornate style. By the time I got to high school I was being told off by teachers for wasting my writing time and their ease of reading with my swirly bullshit, and they literally couldn't recognize the uncommon letterforms as many had never learned them.

At St. Clare's of Assisi in the Bronx everyone wrote cursive WITH fountain pen till 8th grade. We were a hardened team of calligraphers by the time we reached HS. Pencils were only for math & Art.

Woe be onto you caught with Bic pen.

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless


In grade school they still did corporeal punishment, "hacks" from a flat wooden paddle with holes in it. I was a teacher's pet of my weirdo 4rd grade male teacher but still got in trouble for talking in class often.

Finally one day he'd had enough I guess and took me outside to give me some.

I was scared and embarrassed and in tears (my dad was pysically abusive) so when he was finished I spat at him, " You enjoyed it didn't you."

Holy poo poo
That turned out to be the right thing to say lol

He freaked and never did it again.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Official Forums Path of Exile Expert


EorayMel posted:

I learned cursive and my handwriting is poo poo but I find that far easier than printing letters.


Oh jesus, this. I loathe the concept of "one person hosed up so EVERYBODY IS PUNISHED so much. One of the most egregious examples of this was one time in grade school we all had to stand in single file lines and wait until we could be freed to run around on the blacktop or whatever. The one kid who couldn't shut the gently caress up made the recess monitor or teacher before lunch break hold the entire class in the line starting with "NOW YOU HAVE ONLY 29 MINUTES OF RECESS" (30 minutes was the norm.)
Whenever one of the students loudly moaned in protest, the teacher ticked it down one minute. "NOW YOU ONLY HAVE 28 MINUTES, 27 etc" until it actually got down to 5 minutes of free time for that day.

I seriously do not know what that is supposed to teach, but I imagine it sure as hell didn't teach students to speak up on the fear they'll bring the entire ship down for being the hero.

group punishments are a way to get the class to beat up an annoying kid, when you are not allowed to beat them or you will be fired.

I had this happen to me in highschool. we were in a computer electronics class and some clever hooligan decided to type "Format c/:*.*" or whatever the dos command is that deletes the entire OS. No one saw who did it and when the teacher found out he went nuclear and forced the class to stay in for lunch as he yelled at us to tell him who did it. No one knew who it was so we sat there for an hour. I offered to reinstall DOS if he would stop yelling and let everyone leave, but he wouldn't have it.

we were not trusted with the computers in that class again. The teacher photocopied a bunch of busy work on paper for us to do the rest of the year.

Sheen Sheen
Nov 18, 2002


My high school had lots of kids smoking in bathroom stalls, which I guess is pretty standard for teenagers at the time. My schools brilliant plan to combat this was to rip the doors off of all the stalls in every bathroom (at least in every boys bathroom; no idea if they did the same thing in the girls bathrooms, but I cant imagine they did). So if you wanted to/needed to take a dump at school, you had to do it in an open stall without a door

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!



Sheen Sheen posted:

My high school had lots of kids smoking in bathroom stalls, which I guess is pretty standard for teenagers at the time. My schools brilliant plan to combat this was to rip the doors off of all the stalls in every bathroom (at least in every boys bathroom; no idea if they did the same thing in the girls bathrooms, but I cant imagine they did). So if you wanted to/needed to take a dump at school, you had to do it in an open stall without a door

Hahahah the gently caress?

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014




lol but seriously I posted:

do not walk on the grass but what was dumb was that everyone both pupil & staff ignored this rule except for myself and i rigorously stuck to the paved area

If people were smart they'd just have nothing but grass everywhere. Then wait a month, or two, and just put the sidewalks where the paths through the grass were.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014




spinderella posted:

In grade school they still did corporeal punishment, "hacks" from a flat wooden paddle with holes in it.

I got beat with a ping pong paddle. To be honest, it never really hurt, it was the embarassment of it that made me not want to act up after that.


Sheen Sheen posted:

My high school had lots of kids smoking in bathroom stalls, which I guess is pretty standard for teenagers at the time. My school’s brilliant plan to combat this was to rip the doors off of all the stalls in every bathroom (at least in every boys bathroom; no idea if they did the same thing in the girls bathrooms, but I can’t imagine they did). So if you wanted to/needed to take a dump at school, you had to do it in an open stall without a door

Huh. None of my schools ever had doors on the stalls and I just figured it was so kids couldn't lock them and crawl out from under it so that nobody else could use the stall.

Bacontotem
May 27, 2010





GORILLA BASTARD posted:

Pencils were only for math.

Woe be onto you caught with Bic pen.

This loving bullshit from 6th grade through high school.

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012



I got in trouble along with some other kids for making a mess throwing paper towel balls into the bathroom trashcan basketball style. Punishment was detention which scared me a lot since I didn't often get in trouble. I had to take a note home to my parents letting them know why, and they were both like "wtf your teachers are ridiculous". That was my first taste of anti authority.

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


Rutibex posted:

group punishments are a way to get the class to beat up an annoying kid, when you are not allowed to beat them or you will be fired.


Basic Marine Corps bootcamp indoctrination technique. Don't know what other services do but I'm pretty I sure I was abused by the best.

"Suck that cock you worms! Sir, yes sir!" Well, you know.

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


Bacontotem posted:

This loving bullshit from 6th grade through high school.

Catholic school?

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012



I went to a Christian School for a few years in early grade school and a common punishment was being made to miss recess and instead stand in a dark classroom with the other bad kids and march in place while a teacher supervised and read or whatever. We'd get scolded if we fell out of step from one another.

I remember marching with six or so other kids one time and a second teacher poked her head in to chat the first teacher up, and the supervising teacher remarked "don't you just love that sound" [of little children marching in unison]. That was another formative moment where I learned that people can enjoy control and that's not good.

Sheen Sheen
Nov 18, 2002


EorayMel posted:

Hahahah the gently caress?

I basically spent a year of high school holding my dumps until I got home, then during junior year my friend pointed out that the nurses office had a single-use bathroom with a door you could close and lock, and theyd let you use it if you asked them.

My wife also told me that the graduating class before hers got in trouble for their senior prank, which involved jamming like 20,000 plastic spoons into the schools front lawn so they were standing straight up. The administration freaked the gently caress out over this and started angrily threatening to cancel prom and were even trying to make sure that the kids who did it wouldnt be allowed to graduate, but they backed down when the parents collectively told them to gently caress off

American schools are really dumb

Sheen Sheen fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Jan 19, 2019

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


Kazak posted:

I went to a Christian School for a few years in early grade school and a common punishment was being made to miss recess and instead stand in a dark classroom with the other bad kids and march in place while a teacher supervised and read or whatever. We'd get scolded if we fell out of step from one another.

I remember marching with six or so other kids one time and a second teacher poked her head in to chat the first teacher up, and the supervising teacher remarked "don't you just love that sound" [of little children marching in unison]. That was another formative moment where I learned that people can enjoy control and that's not good.

Yeah, that's really creepy.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



A kid I knew transfered to a school in Idaho that had a list of forbidden terms and one of them was calling someone a "cow" as the school considered it sexual harrassment and basically that has made me uncomfortable about Idaho ever since.

Detective No. 27
Jun 7, 2006



pixaal posted:

If a naughty website comes up on a computer your on you get suspended and banned from computers. Writing a bat file to open goatse after 15 minutes and putting that in startup got a bunch of people in trouble. A letter went home to everyone's parents about the website. Yes my high school goatsed every parent. After a few months they figured it out. The pro strat was checking the startup folder cutting the bat file to the C:\ drive reboot and then put it right back in for the next sucker.

I used to change the homepage of the browser to goatse or whatever else was shocking at the time before leaving the computer.

In elementary school, we had to tuck in our shirts because they thought untucked shirts meant you were in a gang. Getting told to tuck in my shirt was a daily occurrence and I'd immediately untuck as soon authority was out of sight.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Official Forums Path of Exile Expert


Sheen Sheen posted:

I basically spent a year of high school holding my dumps until I got home, then during junior year my friend pointed out that the nurses office had a single-use bathroom with a door you could close and lock, and theyd let you use it if you asked them.

My wife also told me that the graduating class before hers got in trouble for their senior prank, which involved jamming like 20,000 plastic spoons into the schools front lawn so they were standing straight up. The administration freaked the gently caress out over this and started angrily threatening to cancel prom and were even trying to make sure that the kids who did it wouldnt be allowed to graduate, but they backed down when the parents collectively told them to gently caress off

American schools are really dumb

lol that's a weak prank. our senior class filled the parking lot with sand, covered up the storm drains and flooded it to make a "beach". we also built a brick wall in front of the entrance to the school.

unfortunately the janitor got to the wall before the mortor could dry

Sex Skeleton
Aug 16, 2018

For when lonely nights turn bonely

spacetoaster posted:

If people were smart they'd just have nothing but grass everywhere. Then wait a month, or two, and just put the sidewalks where the paths through the grass were.



This is exactly what my university did. When they opened the new science building a huge desire path started forming across a grass field so they just started putting gravel on it.

Sheen Sheen
Nov 18, 2002


Rutibex posted:

lol that's a weak prank.

Yeah, thats what makes the admins freak out so hilarious

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012



my classes fuckup students concocted their own fuckup prank where they moved the dumpsters into the front driveway to block the buses and cars from entering one morning. This caused a very minor gridlock around the highschool but the higher ups poo poo the fuckin bed with rage and got the cops involved but afaik none of the perpetrators ever confessed

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011



Nooner posted:

In highschool our school colors were red white and blue but wearing anything red or blue was banned because it meant you were gang affiliated
"Gang affiliated" clothing hysteria also managed to hit my small Idaho school, which was hilarious because every single kid in it was a harmless suburban dork.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




When I went to school overseas, hall passes weren't a thing. You were allowed to be where-the gently caress-ever on campus at pretty much anytime. In sixth grade we began getting loads of homework, so I started using my lunch hour to knock out one or two of my 7 daily assignments in the hallway or library. I wasn't a super hungry kid anyway and this felt like a better use of my time.

When I started school in the States, the concept of skipping lunch was alien. Like, my teachers couldn't process it. I'd have to get library passes for it every day and it was a 50/50 on whether they'd arbitrarily refuse me. So I just started forging their signatures onto passes.

Let me do my goddamn homework, you assholes.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014




Das Boo posted:

When I went to school overseas, hall passes weren't a thing. You were allowed to be where-the gently caress-ever on campus at pretty much anytime. In sixth grade we began getting loads of homework, so I started using my lunch hour to knock out one or two of my 7 daily assignments in the hallway or library. I wasn't a super hungry kid anyway and this felt like a better use of my time.

When I started school in the States, the concept of skipping lunch was alien. Like, my teachers couldn't process it. I'd have to get library passes for it every day and it was a 50/50 on whether they'd arbitrarily refuse me. So I just started forging their signatures onto passes.

Let me do my goddamn homework, you assholes.

There are kids who only get food (regularly at least) at school. So having a kid not get the school breakfast/lunch is not allowed, and this is beaten into our heads as a thing that should not happen.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

I always thought it was cool how my group of AP class friends were allowed to do whatever we wanted during the lunch hour, including messing around on teachers' computers.

At the time I thought it was because they knew they could trust us not to do anything bad, but in hindsight i'm pretty sure it was more that we were extremely annoying and they wanted to spare the normal kids from our presence.

Jose Mengelez
Sep 11, 2001


spinderella posted:

corporeal punishment

in my school the teacher would open their mouth real wide and a bunch of ghosts would fly out and whoop the poo poo out of you.

hockey jockey
Jan 4, 2010


Drunk Nerds posted:

Could someone translate this for me?

Sorry.

"im a dumb limey"

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless


Jose Mengelez posted:

in my school the teacher would open their mouth real wide and a bunch of ghosts would fly out and whoop the poo poo out of you.

Haha
Missed my misspelling

Papa Emeritus III
Jul 7, 2017

[A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

Deal with it.

My high school would not allow students who were on lunch break to be anywhere but:

*Cafeteria
*Library
*Courtyard in front of cafeteria
*Off campus fetching food

Due to intense bullying, I avoided the cafeteria and courtyard. I didn't have a car and wasn't allowed to be given a pass to leave campus for lunch. I didn't go to library because too many other students would fill all available spots.

So, I would just go to my next classroom on my schedule and sit down in the hall by the door. I was one of those quiet goth kids that would be engaged with a pair of headphones and a drawing project. I never spoke loudly in the hall, never caused trouble, and kept to myself.

For whatever reason, a school administrator hated the fact I sat out there, no matter how I tried to explain my situation and that I wasn't doing anything disruptive. He was a bigass man, built like a loving brick shithouse, and barked at the top of his lungs to GET BACK TO THE AREA YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE. I mean it was overkill for my timid personality at that age. What a dickhead.

Defining moment: After I gathered my backpack and started down the hall, a different student had been hiding and heard the administrator. About halfway down the hall, he adds IF I SEE YOU AGAIN YOU GET A REFERRAL. The hiding kid yelled "I don't care!". In retrospect, that was a Golden Ownage Burn of epic timing, and it makes me laugh now, but goddamn if that didn't make him blow his wig.

Keeping students corralled in a small area was a dumb rule and the Zero Tolerance policy on it was even more dumb.

Said administrator ended up being a target for a senior prank that involved photoshopped porn photos with his head on the actor(and the lady porn actor had a counselor's head) and a million copies roamed our school for the rest of the semester. Colossal amounts of butthurt were had.

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Grudgerm
May 4, 2012

by Reene


apparently you could teleport to class instead of walking there. I learned this at the last minute.

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