Uncle at Nintendo posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1087740160559730689?s=19

A Fancy Hat posted:

Name: Donald Trump
Height: 6 ' 5" (got taller, believe it or not, actually some people are so healthy this happens!)
Weight: 175 lbs (also lost weight due to so many Deals being made)

I, Dr. John Barron of Trump University, do hereby declare that Donald Trump is the healthiest person I have ever imagined. His brain is good. His fingers and hands are in fact the largest ever recorded, larger than Andre the Giant's, and the FAKE NEWS needs to stop photoshopping his hands to look smaller.

I examined his blood and other stuff and it's all great, really terrific actually, all the fluids are in place and doing their thing. The Phlegm, Yellow and Black Bile, and the Blood are all aligned. His muscles are quite amazing, really powerful stuff, and the finite amount of energy he possesses is still there - he's still got some "oil" in the tank before we need to "prime the pump" so to speak.

For the final part of the examination I had an attractive young nurse, a 10 out of 10 believe me, she came in for the thing. The underpants thing. And she came out afterwards and just said "Wow", which I mean.... you know what that means. In medical terms the President has a large penis which any woman would be lucky to see or touch. I performed a similar test on Obama years ago and it was much smaller, President Trump's is just so much better it's unbelievable, much like his deals.

I hereby swear that all these things are true, if you can believe it, and that they happened and are happening.

communism bitch posted:

It just struck me that you guys coulda loving got Arnie to be your latest celebrity president but instead you got a fat cspam moderator and sexual predator lol
I know there's bullshit laws about nationality but Arnie would have been a far better and less embarrassing president imvho

Splatmaster posted:

Serious question- does anyone else wonder at this point if Trump is just trying to get people pissed off to the point of rioting?

I can't really see any endgame other than, "let's get everyone so worked up they go crazy! Then we can legally declare martial law and shoot everyone!"

I hope the stress kills him soon before it kills the rest of us...

runupon cracker posted:

yellowD posted:

haha jesus christ we're not far off from a burning cross on the white house lawn

TulliusCicero posted:

Like I don't get why it's so hard for these dipshits to face consquences

legendaryRev posted:

Finally found the new thread, and I’d just like to take a minute to memorialize the old thread. 7153 pages: we did it, boys. Pisstape is real. And my balls are still orbiting the sun. What a time to be alive.

mono posted:

Stephen Miller's brilliant notes

Strong Sauce posted:

https://www.rawstory.com/2019/01/space-station-president-bizarre-tale-trumps-childlike-obsession-getting-mars/


SPACE STATION. THIS IS YOUR PRESIDENT....

mono posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1088832908494888961


lmaoooooo

LifeSunDeath posted:

sir this is mcdonalds

Sockser posted:

mcDonalds
this is your president

LifeSunDeath posted:

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Jose posted:

https://twitter.com/BrentHBaker/status/1089564630085783552

https://twitter.com/tombrokaw/status/1089663227829592065
https://twitter.com/tombrokaw/status/1089664086823051264
https://twitter.com/tombrokaw/status/1089664931606286338
https://twitter.com/tombrokaw/status/1089704096687419393
https://twitter.com/tombrokaw/status/1089704217432993792
https://twitter.com/tombrokaw/status/1089704218846466050
https://twitter.com/tombrokaw/status/1089704221988081664

A Fancy Hat posted:

@RealDonaldTrump: Great to see TLC doing so well in ratings (BIG). Have heard many nice things from people there, great TV shows (90 Day Finance, Say Yeses to Dresses, My 600 lbs) - all great! "Trump is cool and good and should give us some money" - Dr Pimple Popper MD. I AGREE!

@RealDonaldTrump: TLC (which is wining BIG in networks) has just announced new show - One Hour of Gorillas. Great stuff which I love to watch during my rare (very) time off! I formally endorse this channel as "The Best" for viewers!

@RealDonaldTrump: TLC (The Legendary Channel) is so wonderful and the channel has many nice things to say about me. Our VISA program is a fiasco! Need to allow good people in, when they are in love (marriage). Where is the fix? We're doing it, and soon! 90 Day Fiance premiere is this weekend, hopefully by then!

@RealDonaldTrump: Obesity is biggest problem in USA today, many people are 600 lbs or more and need HELP! We are starting new school lunch program to combat (fight) fat kids in school! Very sad stories I am seeing, time to change it! No more cutting people out of apartments on forklifts!

@RealDonaldTrump: WOW! "Senility is a major problem with seniors and can impare cogs and ignition problems" - TLC "The Gorilla Hour". Even affects me, I think, so going to Dr. Pimple Popper to get "checked out" for brain problems! Thank you TLC, did you just save a life tonight? (song)

trem_two posted:

https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1089937167248490498

I ride bikes all day posted:

How do you expect Trump to run the Country if he doesn't get his daily intel brief from Fox&Friends first? Checkmate, libtard.

Stink Billyums posted:

If you aren't familiar with how things have been going in Venezuela, their inflation rate is 1300000% lol

trem_two posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1090074254010404864

communism bitch posted:

on the one hand this is a little bit of a bummer to me because im a collections manager for a major museum and imo the decorative arts are important, as representations of things that people surround themselves with. our art is important.

But on the other three hands gently caress boomers, who gives a poo poo about you porcelain collection while people are starving to death, and also any china collection that some dickhead boomer collected is gonna be worthless trash that belongs in the bin to begin with so LOL.

But seriously though our art and culture do matter and they are whispers of a better world a world where we're not all slaving away pointlessly until we die of malnutrition and overwork. Please try and go to a museum when you get the chance just to enjoy a thing that you'll never earn enough money to own in your entire life.

smoobles posted:

guys.... The president is really dumb

big nipples big life posted:

I need to come up with a good grift before maga runs its course.

Big Beef City posted:

That same article contains this picture:



e: though it does say Trump has read Hogan's Five Lesson's on Golf, which I'll give him credit for. The article also compares his style to Trevino and Gary Player though so... lol

Lordshmee posted:

I’m just getting the vibe from some posters that The Mattering might be at hand. Let us all remember that successful impeachment involves conviction by Mitch “Literal Satan” McConnell.

hallebarrysoetoro posted:

like i can't wrap my head around how loving surreal it is that

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/Mike_Pence/status/1215053342776406024

A Fancy Hat posted:

Iran is.... we got Iran. They're done, we got them under control. There's a lotta blood, an incredible amount, and it's on the hands of the Iranian leaders including AYATOLLAH ASSAHOLA, as he is known and done, for all he has said over the years. The missiles were fired at tremendous speed, nobody was killed, THANK YOU, but we never know. We will see.

We have a new missile ready, they call it the hypersonic missile. Can I... they're saying not to talk about this but I'm talking about it. It's able to tap into something called the SPEED FORCE, which allows you to move at tremendous speed. You tap the speed force and you go faster than anyone thought possible, there's a wonderful man and he does it and he's part of the speed force in some cases, but now we are doing it in missile form. Nobody could catch it, not even.... *snffffffffff* not even the man.

And we have developed a wonderful device, one that they've shown..... the F-35 may be invisible but it has something else, this is the F-36 of planes in many ways, which is one better. And it may be invisible, yes, but it's also in another more important way incredibly visible. Which is.... you want that, in this case. It shows the enemy, the terrousoushhhhhsstttsss, it shows them you have the gun, as they say. The bigger gun and believe me, okay? Believe me, I have a giant gun inside my giant hands.