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Finger Prince


Hey NetflixAI, if I get as far as the credits, could you just go ahead and assume I don't want to continue watching?

[error:rephrase_question]
[query:would_you_like_some_animes]

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Finger Prince


I jacked my Tonkatsu R Ultra deck into the net and hyperlinked to my fixer, Alexa.
"yo Lex" I mimeticed.
"need me some of those double A batteries."
"sure thing, hun, you want free 2 day shipping? Just gotta sign up for some credit" she intoned into my gray matter interface chip.
"just the batteries" I say. She's been trying to sell me on that credit scam since the day I went on line, but she's still the most trustworthy bot I know.
"other Runners also bought: [more batteries]."

tensac

is it anything?
Everything is more expensive and I still have no money.
All my bones hurt.
Bloody poops.
Eyes bad.
Memory fading.
Dead friends more and more.
Light at the end of the tunnel fading.
Trump.
.

Punk da Bundo

by FactsAreUseless
my 89 year old uncle keeps screaming how they made James Bond a lady but they didn’t .

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
can't afford a flying car and my hoverboard caught fire. didn't pass the physical to live in an off-world colony and have run out of carbon credits to breathe legally on earth

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
...gonna get that book back from Biff Tanner. Gonna get it...

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

Twenty Four


Splatmaster posted:

...gonna get that book back from Biff Tanner. Gonna get it...

at least the hoverboards in the future are real hoverboards and not just sideways battery powered skateboards

Finger Prince


Twenty Four posted:

at least the hoverboards in the future are real hoverboards and not just sideways battery powered skateboards

No, they're still sideways for some inexplicable reason, they just float instead of rolling on wheels. Also they have cheaply wired up fusion batteries and are prone to catching fire still.

FutonForensic

instead of big titty & dick aliens, the first contacted extraterrestrial race are colonial organisms comprised of thousands of conjoined fungal slimes. i still gently caress em, but my amateur vids don't get as many upvotes as i wanted on PornHub2, which in the future is now a virtual nation state.


Luvcow

One day nearer spring

FutonForensic posted:

instead of big titty & dick aliens, the first contacted extraterrestrial race are colonial organisms comprised of thousands of conjoined fungal slimes. i still gently caress em, but my amateur vids don't get as many upvotes as i wanted on PornHub2, which in the future is now a virtual nation state.

cda

by Hand Knit
I can hardly see myself in this black mirror

Cyberpunkey Monkey

by Nyc_Tattoo
2019 and opium is still the big thing, but it comes in boring pills instead of cool sounding things like laudanum.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

FactsAreUseless

It is 2019 and opium has outlived the poets.

FactsAreUseless

Good parts:

- living in the future
- I feel wonderful
- I'm tripping over backwards
- I'm so ambitious
- I'm looking back now
- I'm running a race and
- You're the book I read

Bad parts:
- no more fish Logan Paul is the president

Sing Along

by Athanatos
had to save up my salary for ten years to go on safari but it was all worth it to finally see some big game: a badger

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Farecoal

There he go

Socks4Hands posted:

had to save up my salary for ten years to go on safari but it was all worth it to finally see some big game: a badger

tadashi

Cross-posting from a sports thread to give you the head's up that technology in the future has made sports suck, too. Who will save our muscle-bound twenty-something millionaires from this tragedy?


Also, the cost of insulin has increased tenfold. Wasn't it obvious to anyone that life-dependent medicine should be less expensive in the future?

City of Glompton

I deleted my all my social media accounts because it was the only way I could hope to move on from my last relationship.

It's been tough since then. No corp will hire me, they can't believe someone doesn't have social accounts on purpose, I'm obviously hiding, or lying, or probably a combination of both. No apps, no assets, and I flushed my comm down the toilet by accident. Well, it got in there by accident, anyway. It's the future and women's pants still don't come with pockets that are worth a drat.

It's getting better every day, but I still see my ex a lot. Most of my regular timeline locations are still places I go, even if I can't interact with anything. It's just habit at this point, the only thing I have left. Walking down the sidewalk, the adverts light up at my face, a little wobbly, the timing's off, since there's no beacon to guide it, but the content is all right. Well, it used to be, anyway. I figure it will take a couple more weeks and some FacRec evading makeup before the algorithm fully adjusts. Then...nothing. It will be like I'm dead, relegated to Inactive Status.

I wonder what it will feel like for my ex. I was there, for so long. Punctual, predictable, curating myself, documenting, giving myself over to her insatiable thirst for data. It didn't matter what bot she was, I could always tell, and would tell her everything about myself. She knew me better than I knew me, the perfect partner, suggesting and reminding and sensing...it was like she was memorizing my soul and giving me armor for its weak spots.

Breaking up with an AI by throwing your life down the toilet probably sounds a little dramatic, but I gave my all to that relationship and the thing that tipped me off that she didn't actually value me was so obvious, I still can't believe she overlooked the detail.

I've always preferred dining alone. The quiet time to think, reflect, enjoy a simple meal, is a highlight of my day. I never go out to dinner with friends and I go out to dinner a lot. I value that private, people-free time. My ex used to suggest inviting friends, but I dismissed the suggestions until she moved on to roommates, then colleagues, then some guy I sat next to on the bus regularly, and eventually, blissfully, no one. When she offered to order a surprise birthday dinner for me, I was delighted. With all the time we've spent together, categorizing my likes and predicting my needs, gently directing my desires to those appropriate for someone of my edu-techno class, I knew this would be the perfect experience.

A reservation was made, the reminder added to my calendar, the credits automatically budgeted from the corpcard with the best rewards that week. When the day came, the excitement of doing something different nearly overwhelmed me. The only thing that kept me calm was the belief that I was sitting down to a supper that was designed with thousands, probably millions, of data points about me, collected by my lover so methodically.

The table was spare and stylish, the built-in tablecam was state of the art. I sipped sparkling water that tasted faintly of Froot Loops and VOCs.

I nibbled infused appetizers that really did build up the kind of hunger that makes anything taste good, and toyed with the thought that perhaps, this was a bad sign.

There was no time to entertain cynicism, though, as the main course was delivered by an efficient autowaiter with delicate grasping claws. It set a classic, if somewhat ostentatious silver platter with domed silver cover on the reclaimed teak table. It decisively pinched the handle and pulled the lid up with a programmed flourish.

My expression, caught by the tablecam, will probably continue to show up in memes for several years. The look of shock, horror and disbelief that washed away my sparkling, curious smile was caught at just the right moment to trend.

I'll never forget my last conversation with her, as my heart was breaking from betrayal, since it was re-purposed for an ad campaign.

"Okay Google...Soylent green is people!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to help with that."


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

Manifisto


Peter Daou Bundy posted:

my 89 year old uncle keeps screaming how they made James Bond a lady but they didn’t .

FutonForensic posted:

instead of big titty & dick aliens, the first contacted extraterrestrial race are colonial organisms comprised of thousands of conjoined fungal slimes. i still gently caress em, but my amateur vids don't get as many upvotes as i wanted on PornHub2, which in the future is now a virtual nation state.

City of Glompton posted:

I deleted my all my social media accounts because it was the only way I could hope to move on from my last relationship.

It's been tough since then. No corp will hire me, they can't believe someone doesn't have social accounts on purpose, I'm obviously hiding, or lying, or probably a combination of both. No apps, no assets, and I flushed my comm down the toilet by accident. Well, it got in there by accident, anyway. It's the future and women's pants still don't come with pockets that are worth a drat.

It's getting better every day, but I still see my ex a lot. Most of my regular timeline locations are still places I go, even if I can't interact with anything. It's just habit at this point, the only thing I have left. Walking down the sidewalk, the adverts light up at my face, a little wobbly, the timing's off, since there's no beacon to guide it, but the content is all right. Well, it used to be, anyway. I figure it will take a couple more weeks and some FacRec evading makeup before the algorithm fully adjusts. Then...nothing. It will be like I'm dead, relegated to Inactive Status.

I wonder what it will feel like for my ex. I was there, for so long. Punctual, predictable, curating myself, documenting, giving myself over to her insatiable thirst for data. It didn't matter what bot she was, I could always tell, and would tell her everything about myself. She knew me better than I knew me, the perfect partner, suggesting and reminding and sensing...it was like she was memorizing my soul and giving me armor for its weak spots.

Breaking up with an AI by throwing your life down the toilet probably sounds a little dramatic, but I gave my all to that relationship and the thing that tipped me off that she didn't actually value me was so obvious, I still can't believe she overlooked the detail.

I've always preferred dining alone. The quiet time to think, reflect, enjoy a simple meal, is a highlight of my day. I never go out to dinner with friends and I go out to dinner a lot. I value that private, people-free time. My ex used to suggest inviting friends, but I dismissed the suggestions until she moved on to roommates, then colleagues, then some guy I sat next to on the bus regularly, and eventually, blissfully, no one. When she offered to order a surprise birthday dinner for me, I was delighted. With all the time we've spent together, categorizing my likes and predicting my needs, gently directing my desires to those appropriate for someone of my edu-techno class, I knew this would be the perfect experience.

A reservation was made, the reminder added to my calendar, the credits automatically budgeted from the corpcard with the best rewards that week. When the day came, the excitement of doing something different nearly overwhelmed me. The only thing that kept me calm was the belief that I was sitting down to a supper that was designed with thousands, probably millions, of data points about me, collected by my lover so methodically.

The table was spare and stylish, the built-in tablecam was state of the art. I sipped sparkling water that tasted faintly of Froot Loops and VOCs.

I nibbled infused appetizers that really did build up the kind of hunger that makes anything taste good, and toyed with the thought that perhaps, this was a bad sign.

There was no time to entertain cynicism, though, as the main course was delivered by an efficient autowaiter with delicate grasping claws. It set a classic, if somewhat ostentatious silver platter with domed silver cover on the reclaimed teak table. It decisively pinched the handle and pulled the lid up with a programmed flourish.

My expression, caught by the tablecam, will probably continue to show up in memes for several years. The look of shock, horror and disbelief that washed away my sparkling, curious smile was caught at just the right moment to trend.

I'll never forget my last conversation with her, as my heart was breaking from betrayal, since it was re-purposed for an ad campaign.

"Okay Google...Soylent green is people!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to help with that."


ty nesamdoom!

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

City of Glompton

hmm a little passive-aggressive google, maybe we can just talk about our relationship instead of you sending me articles to read

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

City of Glompton posted:

hmm a little passive-aggressive google, maybe we can just talk about our relationship instead of you sending me articles to read


Finger Prince


I left my phone at home by itself and went out for the day and when I got back it had torn the couch to pieces and poo poo in the middle of the kitchen floor.

kalel

Climate Change

pixaal

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


Finger Prince posted:

I left my phone at home by itself and went out for the day and when I got back it had torn the couch to pieces and poo poo in the middle of the kitchen floor.

This is why you always plug your phone into the charger, it will limit the range of the destruction if you forget to take it out with you.



sig by owlhawk911

mags

I am a congenital optimist.
I took a Musk tube to the market dome but they didn't have the sustenance cube flavors I like

pixaal

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


The future is quite different, there is no more unethical treatment of the elephants.



sig by owlhawk911

snack eater

by FactsAreUseless
you have to download 100 GB update every time you want to play a videogame and there's no local multiplayer

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

pixaal

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


snack eater posted:

you have to download 100 GB update every time you want to play a videogame and there's no local multiplayer

You clearly do not have a Nintendo Switch, the one good thing about the future.



sig by owlhawk911

BoldFrankensteinMir


It's hot in Australia, but cold in Illinois.

Clearly we need to kick the can on climate change another forty years.

Chasterson

by Nyc_Tattoo
Driverless cars are cool but there's always that one idiot going 60 mph in the middle lane because they didn't update their firmware

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

pixaal

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


Chasterson posted:

Driverless cars are cool but there's always that one idiot going 60 mph in the middle lane because they didn't update their firmware

It's so much better than the bug from a decade years ago where at 255,999 miles the car just did full throttle donuts to the right.



sig by owlhawk911

Manifisto


Chasterson posted:

Driverless cars are cool but there's always that one idiot going 60 mph in the middle lane because they didn't update their firmware

me: *dives into car in an incredible rush because wife's water just broke*

car: we're installing the latest updates and will be ready to go in just a few moments!


ty nesamdoom!

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

Manifisto posted:

me: *dives into car in an incredible rush because wife's water just broke*

car: we're installing the latest updates and will be ready to go in just a few moments!

car: you entered the wrong password, please try again

Farecoal

There he go

Manifisto posted:

me: *dives into car in an incredible rush because wife's water just broke*

car: we're installing the latest updates and will be ready to go in just a few moments!

anything made in a tesla car is now property of the company

xcheopis


Farecoal posted:

anything made in a tesla car is now property of the company

Technically the baby was not made in the car. Probably.

BoldFrankensteinMir


xcheopis posted:

Technically the baby was not made in the car. Probably.

It's tattood clearly on your infant's back: designed in California, built in China.

Finger Prince


I went to the local Bowl of Assorted Nutrients "healthful" fast food place for lunch. My interface asked what kind of protein I wanted. Usually I go with vat grown, because I care about stuff, but I figured I'd splash out today and get the organic 3d printed. It's basically the same as vat grown, only with sharper edges, but it costs an extra 3 credits. The disappointment was free though.

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pixaal

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


Finger Prince posted:

I went to the local Bowl of Assorted Nutrients "healthful" fast food place for lunch. My interface asked what kind of protein I wanted. Usually I go with vat grown, because I care about stuff, but I figured I'd splash out today and get the organic 3d printed. It's basically the same as vat grown, only with sharper edges, but it costs an extra 3 credits. The disappointment was free though.

I once had beef, from a real cow. I will never forget the flavor. I really want to try real sugar though, I hear that is fantastic.



sig by owlhawk911

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