amadong prime: whoever wins we lose dickpool prediction center

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*What the hck is bezong like** This poll is closed.
average and normal comedy option	18	9.57%
a smaller version of his own face	28	14.89%
extremely large	15	7.98%
black	12	6.38%
chode	16	8.51%
micropenis	13	6.91%
amazon branded	27	14.36%
ted talk	17	9.04%
blinged out to the poo poo	26	13.83%
vagina	16	8.51%
Total:	74 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

The story so far: The National Enquirer threatened Jeff Bezos, noted pseudo-human billionoid, with publishing his sexts and dick pics to try and get him to stop the Washington Post from doing journalism or something and he said gently caress you and published their emails. So what the heck is this gently caress's dick going to be like? Being a billionaire anything is possible and soon we will know

Dylan Howard, CCO & VP of AMI posted:

In addition to the �below the belt selfie � otherwise colloquially known as a �d*ck pick�� The Enquirer obtained a further nine images. These include:
� A shirtless Mr. Bezos holding his phone in his left hand � while wearing his wedding ring. He�s wearing either tight black cargo pants or shorts � and his semi-erect manhood is penetrating the zipper of said garment.
� A naked selfie in a bathroom � while wearing his wedding ring. Mr. Bezos is wearing nothing but a white towel � and the top of his pubic region can be seen.
...
It would give no editor pleasure to send this email. I hope common sense can prevail � and quickly.

chaosbreather fucked around with this message at 02:04 on Feb 8, 2019

# ? Feb 8, 2019 02:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 07:21

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

I'll bet it's gonna look like a dick

# ? Feb 8, 2019 02:04

Oldstench: Jun 29, 2007; Let's talk about where you're going.

Thick and veiney with a smooth pink head.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 02:06

Alucard: Mar 11, 2002; Pillbug

# ? Feb 8, 2019 02:36

counterfeitsaint: Feb 26, 2010; I'm a girl, and you're
gnomes, and it's like
what? Yikes.

Alucard posted:

He was sexting us the whole time.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 02:39

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

you know how people whine about ESPN for not sticking to sports, or about entertainment websites for not sticking to pop culture stuff? i wonder if people who have been National Enquirer fans for years just want the rag to talk about half-baked salacious celebrity gossip instead of being a pro-Trump attack dog

# ? Feb 8, 2019 02:42

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

get that OUT of my face posted:

you know how people whine about ESPN for not sticking to sports, or about entertainment websites for not sticking to pop culture stuff? i wonder if people who have been National Enquirer fans for years just want the rag to talk about half-baked salacious celebrity gossip instead of being a pro-Trump attack dog

I only see it at the grocery store but it's super weird to see it show SUPPORT for something instead of calling it gay or dying.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 02:45

Paperboy: Nov 20, 2018

This poll doesnt even have a Goku option.

I cast my vote for Bezos taking off the mask and going super saiyan.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 02:46

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

gonna drop jeff bezos at 400 meters using a sharpened flagpole as an atlatl

# ? Feb 8, 2019 03:07

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

If it's even a god drat millimeter below 7" the meritocracy is cancelled

# ? Feb 8, 2019 03:30

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Heath posted:

If it's even a god drat millimeter below 7" the meritocracy is cancelled

# ? Feb 8, 2019 03:33

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Actually tho I like it when billionaires have small penises because it completely negates any envy I might have had for them.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 03:34

Alien Sex Manual: Dec 14, 2010; is not a sandwich

Haha Mr. Pecker.

Also hey I just read The Gift of Fear, funny seeing Gavin de Becker in the news.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 03:45

meat police: Nov 14, 2015

makes u wonder how many super rich people AMI were able to shake down before they grew balls big enough to think this would work lol

# ? Feb 8, 2019 03:46

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

teh arrow looks like a large circumcised penis

ask me, i know :grin:

# ? Feb 8, 2019 03:54

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

Lol he should doubledown and release a sex tape

# ? Feb 8, 2019 04:50

Giraffe: Dec 12, 2005; Soiled Meat

BloodRed posted:

Lol he should doubledown and release a sex tape

It�s probably already somewhere in Prime Video.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 04:53

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

it looks like waluigi

# ? Feb 8, 2019 04:54

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

BloodRed posted:

Lol he should doubledown and release a sex tape

honey my dick and BALLS is about to hit TMZ

*pulls out camcorder*

TIME TO LEVEL THA PLAYIN' FIELD!!!

:twisted:

# ? Feb 8, 2019 04:54

Creamed Cormp: Jan 8, 2011; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

I'm feeling lucky so I'm betting it all on him having a large black vagina

Bezos is actually the first transgender, transracial billionaire so that means liberals are contractually obligated to say "yassss kweeeen" to their Alexa. Sorry, but I don't make the rules

# ? Feb 8, 2019 04:55

Thots and Prayers: Jul 13, 2006; A is the for the atrocious abominated acts that YOu committed. A is also for ass-i-nine, eight, seven, and six.

B, b, b - b is for your belligerent, bitchy, bottomless state of affairs, but why?

C is for the cantankerous condition of our character, you have no cut-out.; Grimey Drawer

Imagine having bid dick and a billion dollars!

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:10

Fallows: Jan 20, 2005; If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

This is going to ruin him

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:11

Creamed Cormp: Jan 8, 2011; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Thots and Prayers posted:

Imagine having bid dick and a billion dollars!

I'm halfway there :smug:

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:11

Fallows: Jan 20, 2005; If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

Watch him buy national enquirer

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:11

OMFG FURRY: Jul 10, 2006; [snarky comment]

the council of Jeff's will hear about this

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:26

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

Applewhite posted:

Actually tho I like it when billionaires have small penises because it completely negates any envy I might have had for them.

if you are a billionaire with a teeny dong you are probably going to get some work done

he*k if you are a mere 10 millionaire i would suspect it would be on the "a-gender"

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:32

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

when you have 9 figures im sure every way your body looks is pretty much a choice
if i were jeff bezos i would get a spiked carapace

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:41

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

chaosbreather posted:

if you are a billionaire with a teeny dong you are probably going to get some work done

he*k if you are a mere 10 millionaire i would suspect it would be on the "a-gender"

There�s no penis enlargement surgery that doesn�t leave your dick hosed up.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:47

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

hm.
it definitely wouldn't look like goku, so I applaud your acumen in this uniquely punctilious exclusion

# ? Feb 8, 2019 05:58

The Cubelodyte: Sep 1, 2006; Practicing Hypnolaw since 1990; Grimey Drawer

I like how Bezos basically says his security team has just been given an unlimited budget. Li�l Donny two-scoops has picked a fight with a dude who actually has real money. Like, of his own.

:munch:

# ? Feb 8, 2019 06:14

fatal oopsie-daisy: Jul 30, 2007; by R. Guyovich

I bet it�s kind of red

# ? Feb 8, 2019 06:37

bossy lady: Jul 9, 1983

I will not be looking at mr bezos' wiener.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 07:47

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

I�ve managed to avoid Hulk Hogan�s dong and am confident I can also avoid Jeff Bezos�s dong too

# ? Feb 8, 2019 07:52

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

gary oldmans diary posted:

when you have 9 figures im sure every way your body looks is pretty much a choice
if i were jeff bezos i would get a spiked carapace

then why does his eye look all weird? does he like having a weird eye.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 08:06

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Kuato posted:

I’ve managed to avoid Hulk Hogan’s dong and am confident I can also avoid Jeff Bezos’s dong too

I can't say the same for either sad to say.

# ? Feb 8, 2019 08:11

Android Blues: Nov 22, 2008

isn't this literally blackmail? as in, he has hard evidence of a newspaper editor trying to blackmail him? seems like this should be going to criminal court rather than like, just being a media circus type thing

# ? Feb 8, 2019 10:08