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Josherino
Mar 24, 2021



samantonio posted:

Got accepted back to college today, got my FAFSA filled out and will probably get in touch with a counselor tomorrow to check out how I want to structure classes. This has been a major boost to the emotional state, though I am nervous.y last attempt at college was 13+ years ago, but feel ready this time.

I noticed the recruiter's signature line lists his pronouns he/him/his so a true marxist/cancel culture school. I should fit in lol.

Super ecstatic to see this, friend! I can imagine that 13 year gap really being daunting, but this is your chance to really capitalize on a huge chapter in your life. Let me know how it goes!

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Crazypoops
Jul 17, 2017





I came in here crying and then I lol'd at this so good on you

Crazypoops
Jul 17, 2017




also I think I'm going to make an appointment to a psychiatrist, I think I have ptsd from being a service worker during the pandemic

Josherino
Mar 24, 2021



Crazypoops posted:

also I think I'm going to make an appointment to a psychiatrist, I think I have ptsd from being a service worker during the pandemic

No shame in receiving or attempting to get help my friend. Thank you for what you've done, and what you continue to do.

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




Ball Tazeman posted:

We came back today to clean and it’s even worse. There’s water everywhere and we had to pull insulation off the walls to find some big rear end holes in the cement where water was just pouring through. I’m sitting in the empty bedroom shaking and bawling my eyes out and feeling stupid. There’s loving mold and mildew everywhere and feeling like I made the biggest mistake of my life.

This thread is full of my anxiety posts after buying in late February 2020 so I have tons of sympathy. Just wanted to say that. Wish I had more useful comments. It may not be as bad as you think.

Pleiadian Light
Jan 8, 2021

for spaces are plenty in this heady canopy


Josherino posted:

Super ecstatic to see this, friend! I can imagine that 13 year gap really being daunting, but this is your chance to really capitalize on a huge chapter in your life. Let me know how it goes!

Oh thank you. And I read the news today and see biden might be entertaining free community college. That would be epic.

Ball Tazeman
Feb 2, 2010



UnfortunateSexFart posted:

This thread is full of my anxiety posts after buying in late February 2020 so I have tons of sympathy. Just wanted to say that. Wish I had more useful comments. It may not be as bad as you think.

Its helpful just to know that somebody went through something similar.

I havent eaten and my stomach is in knots constantly. The waterproofers are coming for an estimate in two weeks, hopefully it wont be more than $3000 in work because, well, thats all the money we have.

My partner has sent me to my parents house for the time being to try to get my anxiety controlled while he and his family do some moving because I was vomiting bile and dry heaved for a half hour from panic.


God, I feel like dying.

Cpt_Obvious
Jun 18, 2007

I don't Want to be this kind of animal anymore.



Everything about homeownership is disproportionately stressful, perhaps because it's the biggest purchase you'll ever make. And every homeowner has had a fitful night or two because of it. Make sure you get multiple estimates from different people and you aren't paying for poo poo you don't want, some of those basement guys will upsell you on everything.

Chuka Umana
Apr 30, 2019

shadow posting secretary




I'm not gonna post it here, but there's a video going around of a man harassing a mentally ill employee having a breakdown at a Holiday Inn after calling him homophobic slurs, and a certain Twitter personality posted it to show how "crazy white people get" and it's been really depressing me today since I could easily imagine myself or someone I care for in that exact same situation.

Some people are just cruel.

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




Ball Tazeman posted:

It’s helpful just to know that somebody went through something similar.

I haven’t eaten and my stomach is in knots constantly. The waterproofers are coming for an estimate in two weeks, hopefully it won’t be more than $3000 in work because, well, that’s all the money we have.

My partner has sent me to my parents house for the time being to try to get my anxiety controlled while he and his family do some moving because I was vomiting bile and dry heaved for a half hour from panic.


God, I feel like dying.

Yeah I spent several nights consoling my wife as she dry heaved. I was just numb as I'm used to everything going horribly. We didn't even get to move in until January 2021 as it was a new build and have probably lost $40,000 already thanks to covid decimating inner Melbourne after 8 months of strict lockdown with mandatory WFH. But at least for us it's a delayed loss that could possibly be erased in time as we have now eliminated covid down under.

Assuming you're in the western world your house value is probably skyrocketing and can offset this sort of unexpected pain. Can also be used for loans. We made 200% profit on our old place.

Josherino
Mar 24, 2021



Ball Tazeman posted:

Its helpful just to know that somebody went through something similar.

I havent eaten and my stomach is in knots constantly. The waterproofers are coming for an estimate in two weeks, hopefully it wont be more than $3000 in work because, well, thats all the money we have.

My partner has sent me to my parents house for the time being to try to get my anxiety controlled while he and his family do some moving because I was vomiting bile and dry heaved for a half hour from panic.


God, I feel like dying.

Serious props for really taking that initiative towards waterproofing - I know how stressful those expenses can be, so I'll definitely be lifting you guys up through this!


Just as a side note, have you ever thought of creating or coloring mandalas to push through anxiety?

Josherino
Mar 24, 2021



Cpt_Obvious posted:

Everything about homeownership is disproportionately stressful, perhaps because it's the biggest purchase you'll ever make. And every homeowner has had a fitful night or two because of it. Make sure you get multiple estimates from different people and you aren't paying for poo poo you don't want, some of those basement guys will upsell you on everything.

Agreed - I just spend $170 on seed, fertilizer, etc. and watching birds in my backyard try and pick it away gave me some hardcore anxiety sweats.

Uganda Loves Me
May 24, 2002




Chuka Umana posted:

I'm not gonna post it here, but there's a video going around of a man harassing a mentally ill employee having a breakdown at a Holiday Inn after calling him homophobic slurs, and a certain Twitter personality posted it to show how "crazy white people get" and it's been really depressing me today since I could easily imagine myself or someone I care for in that exact same situation.

Some people are just cruel.

I've seen all kinds of vile things recently, but I couldn't even bring myself to click that one. It hits way too close to home. I had a breakdown recently, but at least I was able to have it in private. It's so hard when those emotions hit you in public.

I had an incident like that early on in grad school. I went to school with plans to move close to the university and get involved in campus organizations. Afterward, I just lost motivation and commuted to campus once a week.

I'm still active in my local NAMI organization, but I'm afraid to take on any more responsibility because I know depression will hit me again. I don't want to drop the ball on something important. They've been awesome to me though. I like my support group, and I'm going to a party with some board members this weekend.

I'm still kinda out of it. It's taking way too long to write this. I just want to repeat that I appreciate you all!

Ball Tazeman
Feb 2, 2010



Thank you guys for all the support and kind words. Tonight is the first night sleeping here so I just took a fuckton of klonopin and found comfort in making the bedroom somewhat nice. My partners mother put all sorts of bird feeders and houses in the backyard for me to enjoy, that was incredibly kind.

Im starting to feel down on myself because, to be frank, we had to buy a house in one of the poorer satellite towns of our already very far removed metro area, which had become too expensive and a vacation home hub. I feel like a failure that Im 30 and never left my home county, got a degree that never got me a job, have to work in food service, never left the country, etc. I feel like Ive missed so much in life.

This entire year has already taken a debilitating panic disorder and kicked it in to high gear. I just hope I can make it a while longer and hope things get better.

To anybody who has been giving me kind words, it truly means a lot. I feel so alone.

Ball Tazeman
Feb 2, 2010



Chuka Umana posted:

I'm not gonna post it here, but there's a video going around of a man harassing a mentally ill employee having a breakdown at a Holiday Inn after calling him homophobic slurs, and a certain Twitter personality posted it to show how "crazy white people get" and it's been really depressing me today since I could easily imagine myself or someone I care for in that exact same situation.

Some people are just cruel.

I saw the video and its difficult. I have BPD and while Ive never had a public breakdown in that way, I could see myself in that situation as well if I was prodded that way. Just remember that there are good people to balance the cruel ones. Ive seen an outpouring of support for the employee who was filmed, and more people than not telling the Twitter guy that he is in the wrong.

poll plane variant
Jan 12, 2021

evolution in action

Ball Tazeman posted:

Im starting to feel down on myself because, to be frank, we had to buy a house in one of the poorer satellite towns of our already very far removed metro area, which had become too expensive and a vacation home hub. I feel like a failure that Im 30 and never left my home county, got a degree that never got me a job, have to work in food service, never left the country, etc. I feel like Ive missed so much in life.

if you bought a house at all in this market that you can reasonably hope to inhabit, that's one win notched on the ol belt of life, gotta give yourself credit for the wins

MOVIE MAJICK
Jan 4, 2012



I was in the middle of a downward spiral this month and all of sudden today I took a vitamin D and everything is back to feeling good and normal. Thanks for listening.

Jorge Bell
Aug 2, 2006


Ball Tazeman posted:

I feel like a failure that Im 30 and never left my home county, got a degree that never got me a job, have to work in food service, never left the country, etc. I feel like Ive missed so much in life.

I turn feelings like this into anger at the people that have denied our entire generation opportunities to live and thrive. I don't know if that'll work or be better for you but it's how I handle that kind of thinking. Anger, for me, is actionable. It also removes some pressure from myself and rightly places it on massive institutional failures/sabotage.

MOVIE MAJICK posted:

I was in the middle of a downward spiral this month and all of sudden today I took a vitamin D and everything is back to feeling good and normal. Thanks for listening.

Yeah vitamin D helped me too, not as sudden as what you describe but I haven't lost myself for days in loops of sleep -> videogames -> eat -> sleep since I started taking it regularly last fall. Finding out from a doctor's visit that I was deficient was very good for my general wellbeing poo poo. For me the change was just wanting to do stuff instead of hissing at the sun and sleeping for 14 hours.

Sanguinary Novel
Jan 27, 2009


Lol love to leave the doctor's office with a script for 20,000 IU vitamin D pills.

Josherino
Mar 24, 2021



Sanguinary Novel posted:

Lol love to leave the doctor's office with a script for 20,000 IU vitamin D pills.

Its the offices that prescribe them in gummy form that you have to watch out for.

Consummate Professional
Sep 1, 2006

did you know that even with seat belts
pople die all the time in car crashes? i
thought that was interesting



Sanguinary Novel posted:

Lol love to leave the doctor's office with a script for 20,000 IU vitamin D pills.

ayyyy just got done with a course of those.

Not sure I FEEl better but I don't feel worse so whatever.

erosion
Dec 21, 2002
Probation
Can't post for 22 days!


I'm the worst person I know, just a world class piece of poo poo nobody wants to be around. I'm wearing rubber bands now on my wrists so I can snap myself when I have the urge to share at work, working so far!

Sanguinary Novel
Jan 27, 2009


Whenever I get into a real stint of self hate, I tell myself that capitalism would prefer that I (and everyone) was like this all the time so it can sell me a bunch of useless poo poo, bullshit diets, and other life hack garbage. Can't love myself, but I can love myself out of spite! Sorta works

Chuka Umana
Apr 30, 2019

shadow posting secretary




Sanguinary Novel posted:

Lol love to leave the doctor's office with a script for 20,000 IU vitamin D pills.

lol my recovering addict rear end would find a way to abuse vitamin d pills

Sanguinary Novel
Jan 27, 2009


Chuka Umana posted:

lol my recovering addict rear end would find a way to abuse vitamin d pills

*slams an entire bottle full* "It's about to get grossly incandescent in this loving brain"

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




Sanguinary Novel posted:

*slams an entire bottle full* "It's about to get grossly incandescent in this loving brain"

Oh and severely gently caress up your kidneys

Pleiadian Light
Jan 8, 2021

for spaces are plenty in this heady canopy


erosion posted:

I'm the worst person I know, just a world class piece of poo poo nobody wants to be around. I'm wearing rubber bands now on my wrists so I can snap myself when I have the urge to share at work, working so far!

Been there. Still there in ways.

Always open to talk.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Chuka Umana posted:

I'm not gonna post it here, but there's a video going around of a man harassing a mentally ill employee having a breakdown at a Holiday Inn after calling him homophobic slurs, and a certain Twitter personality posted it to show how "crazy white people get" and it's been really depressing me today since I could easily imagine myself or someone I care for in that exact same situation.

Some people are just cruel.

Yeah. Having had a psychotic break myself, you absolutely surrender all control to your lizard hindmind and who the hell knows what horrors will pop out. I'm "lucky" in the sense that it happened at home and had a loved one who coaxed/coerced me into a car and to a hospital.

Psych meds are a wild rear end ride sometimes!

Ball Tazeman
Feb 2, 2010



I need help. My anxiety is even worse now. I feel like Im on the path to go in to a full mental breakdown. I need a good resource. Preferably by text. I havent eaten in days and my guts are a wreck. I feel like Im dying and despite my best efforts, I just cannot calm myself.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




Ball Tazeman posted:

I need help. My anxiety is even worse now. I feel like Im on the path to go in to a full mental breakdown. I need a good resource. Preferably by text. I havent eaten in days and my guts are a wreck. I feel like Im dying and despite my best efforts, I just cannot calm myself.

https://www.crisistextline.org/

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Ball Tazeman posted:

I need help. My anxiety is even worse now. I feel like Im on the path to go in to a full mental breakdown. I need a good resource. Preferably by text. I havent eaten in days and my guts are a wreck. I feel like Im dying and despite my best efforts, I just cannot calm myself.

followup, in case you need other resources:

quote:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
The Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line
If you are an International Goon, please look here for some resources: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html.

In addition, my pms are open. I don't know if I can help but I can at least listen. Talk to the pros first though and not some jerk on the internet.

endlessmonotony
Nov 4, 2009


These are some bad posts, but they're not as bad as OOCC. I pray you recover enough to someday throw OOCC's keyboard into the sea and claim your rightful role as the worst C-SPAM poster.

Try filling your sink with real cold water, then shove your face in for about half a minute. Or take a real cold shower.

Quick fix, but oughta help for a moment.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


endlessmonotony posted:

Try filling your sink with real cold water, then shove your face in for about half a minute. Or take a real cold shower.

Quick fix, but oughta help for a moment.

Yeah. To cancel panic attacks, I'll usually (if I can force myself to go over) run really cold water over my dominant (right) hand. Eventually there's a tension release and I can start thinking again.

You can do the same thing holding an ice cube and swapping it back and forth between hands but cold water seems to do the trick for me without pain.

Impkins Patootie
Apr 20, 2017






erosion posted:

wearing rubber bands now on my wrists so I can snap myself when I have the urge to share at work

gotta try this

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


Impkins Patootie posted:

gotta try this

Works wonders for my wife. She dissociates occasionally, and the rubber bands help keep her grounded.

Josherino
Mar 24, 2021



endlessmonotony posted:

Try filling your sink with real cold water, then shove your face in for about half a minute. Or take a real cold shower.

Quick fix, but oughta help for a moment.

Some of the worst decisions I ever thought of making were curbed by this.

wolfs
Jul 17, 2001

posted by squid gang



I find out about unemployment benefits next Monday (pretty sure) and I somehow sold myself well enough over the phone on Wednesday to get a second round interview next Monday too

the pay isnt amazing but itd be more than the UI and my expenses arent too crazy - so its a relief in some sense that I can be personable to a stranger on the phone, even if I dont wind up getting this job.

Ive been taking lexapro for 14 days exactly and it still hurts my stomach but Im otherwise unsure if it does anything for me. Im perhaps more horny than usual? my sleeping habits havent improved, my mood is the same.

I was told I was referred to a psychiatrist in network when I saw my new GP but to expect a lengthy wait before someone will reach out. I think I might try calling a few of the local offices on the insurance website and seeing what availability is like? I understand a psychiatrist can help me with the depression but can they also confirm other mental issues?

I have lately been wondering if I have some sort of language disability as far as I know my hearing is normal (though I have tinnitus), but:
I almost constantly mishear phrases, I cant pick up languages to save my life despite trying a few times now, I was in speech therapy as a child, and I didnt learn how to read for a long time. I used to memorize books that were read to me instead. my perfect recall has since faded.
in any case my consistent failure with languages has prevented me from finishing my college degree. looking it up, some colleges will waive those requirements if you have a problem with language acquisition. do you goons think this is something worth pursuing? my insurance currently is pretty good because of Biden - just an $1800 deductible. I can swing it if an audiologist or something is necessary and theyre in network I guess. but I think this is definitely out of the realm of my general practitioner that prescribed the lexapro

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.


wolfs posted:

I find out about unemployment benefits next Monday (pretty sure) and I somehow sold myself well enough over the phone on Wednesday to get a second round interview next Monday too

the pay isnt amazing but itd be more than the UI and my expenses arent too crazy - so its a relief in some sense that I can be personable to a stranger on the phone, even if I dont wind up getting this job.

Ive been taking lexapro for 14 days exactly and it still hurts my stomach but Im otherwise unsure if it does anything for me. Im perhaps more horny than usual? my sleeping habits havent improved, my mood is the same.

I was told I was referred to a psychiatrist in network when I saw my new GP but to expect a lengthy wait before someone will reach out. I think I might try calling a few of the local offices on the insurance website and seeing what availability is like? I understand a psychiatrist can help me with the depression but can they also confirm other mental issues?

I have lately been wondering if I have some sort of language disability as far as I know my hearing is normal (though I have tinnitus), but:
I almost constantly mishear phrases, I cant pick up languages to save my life despite trying a few times now, I was in speech therapy as a child, and I didnt learn how to read for a long time. I used to memorize books that were read to me instead. my perfect recall has since faded.
in any case my consistent failure with languages has prevented me from finishing my college degree. looking it up, some colleges will waive those requirements if you have a problem with language acquisition. do you goons think this is something worth pursuing? my insurance currently is pretty good because of Biden - just an $1800 deductible. I can swing it if an audiologist or something is necessary and theyre in network I guess. but I think this is definitely out of the realm of my general practitioner that prescribed the lexapro

I think it's a really good idea, both to check around locally off your insurance website and to check in with an audiologist and/or even a neurologist for the language challenges. Don't forget to cross reference against Psychology Today, you can glean a lot of really good info off of there.

endlessmonotony
Nov 4, 2009


These are some bad posts, but they're not as bad as OOCC. I pray you recover enough to someday throw OOCC's keyboard into the sea and claim your rightful role as the worst C-SPAM poster.

Chokes McGee posted:

Yeah. To cancel panic attacks, I'll usually (if I can force myself to go over) run really cold water over my dominant (right) hand. Eventually there's a tension release and I can start thinking again.

You can do the same thing holding an ice cube and swapping it back and forth between hands but cold water seems to do the trick for me without pain.

The trick involves getting your face in contact with cold water and holding your breath to work right.

It's because of the effects of the cold on your nerves.

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Zil
Jun 4, 2011

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




endlessmonotony posted:

The trick involves getting your face in contact with cold water and holding your breath to work right.

It's because of the effects of the cold on your nerves.

Specifically it is called the Mammalian Dive Reflex/Response if you want to look up research on the subject.

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