(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Thank you. I think my mood is in fewer extremes with the increase of my mood stabilizer. I'm trying to be more open and reach out to my support system more, too. I used to find it very hard to hold my ground when someone was giving me way-off-base criticism, and the unfairness of it really upset me. It feels a lot less like it's me versus the world these days. I really appreciate you all, as well as the peers I've met at my local NAMI. I find it helpful to write stuff down, and revisit it when I'm in a different mood or mindset. That can vary quite a bit with bipolar disorder. I can't entirely write off cruel words as funny, and I was worried I was lying to myself about that. It's something I'll think about. I do know that those comments were hurtful, but didn't hurt nearly as much as they did in the past. I'm hoping that's a permanent change, and not just due to my usual mood variations.
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Jan 14, 2022 21:47
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 22:40 |
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Every day I feel victim to liberals' sadism. It infuriates me, but their avoidance bothers me more.
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Jan 15, 2022 01:17
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Uganda Loves Me posted:Thank you. I think my mood is in fewer extremes with the increase of my mood stabilizer. I'm trying to be more open and reach out to my support system more, too. I used to find it very hard to hold my ground when someone was giving me way-off-base criticism, and the unfairness of it really upset me. It feels a lot less like it's me versus the world these days. I really appreciate you all, as well as the peers I've met at my local NAMI. This speaks to the universal need to feel respected. Keep writing, it really does help me when I feel overwhelmed.
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Jan 15, 2022 03:10
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MOVIE MAJICK posted:How much should going from being broke and desperate for work to earning hella money in a job you like affect your mental health? Between 1 and 10 Money doesn't buy happiness beyond buying stability and security. If you go from broke to a million dollars an hour, you're probably exactly as more happy as if you went from broke to "a little more than always being able to pay bills and eat your favorite food when you want". Don't try to compare your happiness against an idea of how happy you should be, there's no such barometer. You just feel however you feel with what you have. Be grateful you're in a more fortunate situation, but be aware all the barriers between you and happiness are not gone because some of them aren't related to having money.
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Jan 16, 2022 05:20
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The biggest happiness money can buy you is not having to worry about having money, like if you need a couple thousand or more for an emergency its just there. When money gets to absurd excessive amounts you now have the ability to become a grotesque cartoon embodiment of your worst urges now that those are viable. There's a LOT of daylight between those two though, as someone existing on like $200/mo, I'd be thrilled to even be getting ~$2K a month, that'd put me in middle class territory (for a childless, single, asocial dude who lives like a caveman with wifi)
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Jan 16, 2022 10:10
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man, that is the truth. I was able to pay for some critical dental work (2 crowns) without losing days of sleep wondering where the money was coming from. the last time I needed a crown I was poor and ended up needing a root canal.
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Jan 16, 2022 19:08
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Taking this Monday off and not worrying about it. I need the mental break and I encourage everyone else to do the same when the feeling hits.
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Jan 17, 2022 14:14
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No. 6 posted:Taking this Monday off and not worrying about it. I need the mental break and I encourage everyone else to do the same when the feeling hits. I'm glad you had the opportunity to do this, and that you had the determination to make it happen. I honestly think that the more people stand up for their own mental health, the more it normalizes self-care.
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Jan 19, 2022 00:16
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Consummate Professional posted:man, that is the truth. I was able to pay for some critical dental work (2 crowns) without losing days of sleep wondering where the money was coming from. the last time I needed a crown I was poor and ended up needing a root canal. Pretty indulgent for a "poor person" to be getting treatment for their luxury bones but ok
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Jan 22, 2022 05:00
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99.6% of "poor" households have teeth
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Jan 22, 2022 09:27
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Whelp, good chance that I can't have the decent ADHD drugs because my ticker is just weird enough to say no. gently caress this. No real ability to do long term self-directed projects in my life, and reaching the limits of what I can do academically by throwing coffee at the problem? I really am through. Just completely at the end of my tether, with no real place to go other then where I am. I feel so crappy I can't even really find it in me to eat.
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Jan 22, 2022 16:58
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having real tfw no gf/bf feelings thanks WINTER
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Jan 22, 2022 18:58
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Doc Fission posted:having real tfw no gf/bf feelings thanks WINTER same, buddy  
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Jan 23, 2022 03:00
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StratGoatCom posted:Whelp, good chance that I can't have the decent ADHD drugs because my ticker is just weird enough to say no. I'm pretty frustrated that I almost certainly could use some of those concentration meds but I have a history of insomnia so the doc was like "absolutely the gently caress not."
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Jan 23, 2022 21:06
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as someone who's ADHD and also has a history of disrupted sleep i'd take the meds even if the two were actually exclusive, and as long as i take them first thing in the morning they really aren't unless it's the other way around and insomnia hasn't been ruled out as a cause of concentration issues, which sucks but i guess makes sense
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Jan 23, 2022 22:11
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There's a 6h and a 12h formulation of the common ones. 6h? Fine. 12h? Utter murder for my sleep.
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Jan 23, 2022 23:14
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StratGoatCom posted:Whelp, good chance that I can't have the decent ADHD drugs because my ticker is just weird enough to say no. Then I started to feel chest pain at work, and after a week I went to get my blood pressure checked and it was 153/87. Now im trying a Vyvanse + Intuniv combo and while it’s helping my concentration a little, im really disliking being on stimulants and all the trouble that can have. also im anxious and hard to feel joy again. bleh
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Jan 24, 2022 09:15
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Stratterra drat near killed me, woke up in a jolt at 6am because my heart was going at a ridiculous rate from a dead sleep and cowered in the bathroom hoping it'd go away and it wasn't a heart attack.
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Jan 24, 2022 11:36
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I'd take a racing heart any time, because I am increasingly incapable of either work or enjoying things any more/
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Jan 24, 2022 16:33
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ugh I'm on one of those kicks where I'm convinced I should just quit any social interaction because no one wants anything to do with me
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Jan 24, 2022 17:08
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I dropped Wellbutrin because it made my heart race one day. Honestly, it seems kinda weird I did it so suddenly, but I am going to trust myself on that one.
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Jan 24, 2022 23:08
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Read the OP, but didn't want to read 240+ pages to play catch up to the current threads temperament. Is this a thread for sharing personal contemplations on the self, or is it more about sardonic (but earnest) shitposting/personal reflection?
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Jan 24, 2022 23:11
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both are acceptable imo
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Jan 24, 2022 23:15
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Pretty much, just treat other posters decently and don't make any threats. Beyond that, we all cope with this hellworld in our own way. That can be anything from journaling to venting to sarcastic/flippant remarks about the bullshit you and others deal with. Generally, people around here are coming from a good and empathetic place. I've found it pretty drat useful. Maybe it'd be helpful to work on the OP? My advice is to 
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Jan 24, 2022 23:38
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I think Im self sabotaging. All I do for money is drive for doordash, and Im super unmotivated and lazy to work. I have a bunch of debt on my credit card and had to dip into an old certificate of deposit account to pay rent. I feel guilty for being so dumb. I have a list of poo poo i have to take care of (taxes, healthcare missed psychiatrists appt ect)and I just dont care. Ill procrastinate and say okay ill work tomorrow, okay later tonight and put it off and put it off. Ive also had an issue with sciatica and it hurts to sit. I dont know, I just want to lay in bed and the world to go away.
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Jan 25, 2022 02:26
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Ausmund posted:I think Im self sabotaging. I am familiar with this situation. You feel guilty all the time because you're not doing the things you think you should be doing (I always felt like I'm wasting my life and squandering my abilities and opportunities), but you never seem to care about that thing you should be doing, the motivation just never seems to be there. While I still have occasional relapses, I think I've made big strides on this. One of the big problems was that I trusted my thoughts about the world over my lived experience. I would think about a problem and say "Yeah I understand that/ I know how to address that", and then just never do it. This includes thoughts about myself and the state of the world: "I don't want to do this, it's a waste of time",etc. I would think of problems in the world that have nothing to do with me and spend time agonIzing over them. I would frequently talk myself OUT of doing things I wanted to do ("I'm supposed to go to the gym today, but my stomach doesn't feel good, so I'll go tomorrow"). As strange as it sounds, a big part of the solution was simply to stop thinking and judging so much: stop making judgements about myself, stop thinking about things that are outside of my control, stop worrying about stuff that isn't directly in front of me right now. I do a lot of Zen meditation now and I'm working through a self-help book on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy this one, both of which can be summed up by "Your negative thoughts and feelings will never go away; don't run from them or try to make them stop, embrace them and learn to live with them". I try to keep a daily schedule no matter what I'm thinking or feeling at the time, and it seems to have helped a lot. I try to take life a day at a time now, instead of considering things like "will this really get me where I want to go in life?", " Is this important or is this a waste of time?", "Do I really feel like working on this program now?" I try to "just do it" now. Eulogistics has issued a correction as of 03:45 on Jan 25, 2022 |
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Jan 25, 2022 03:43
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Jacking off and playing video games gets me through my days I also recommend having a playful scheme going - chasing sex works great for this Edit: oh yeah it helped to stop pretending I wanted to do the things I procrastinated on. Instead I treat things I don't wanna do like, uh, like they're gonna get way worse if I don't just take care of them so I might as well carve out a couple hours and get it off my plate. Half my problem (seeing myself as a legitimate functioning person) just got swiped off the table once I let myself be a big dumb baby about it and dealt with things that way.idk, maybe that advice can't be generalized. Jorge Bell has issued a correction as of 04:42 on Jan 25, 2022 |
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Jan 25, 2022 04:36
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look maybe if i could properly execute a turk fast imperial cannon rush i'd be feeling better though slightly more seriously, i do try to take things less seriously, it helped me get through college again, but i just can't shake the feeling that i'm unpleasant to be around and i hate it
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Jan 25, 2022 06:49
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StratGoatCom posted:I'd take a racing heart any time, because I am increasingly incapable of either work or enjoying things any more/ Trust me, it was a moment where if I continued using it I'd be incapable of either work or enjoying things on a permanent basis. I had better luck on generic adderal/amphetimine salts. Adopting the little shithead kitten has let me focus on other things, mostly my anger in a productive/external way because the toilet paper is now everywhere but the toilet roll, etc.
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Jan 25, 2022 08:44
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mod edit: snip
Somebody has issued a correction as of 19:08 on Jan 27, 2022 |
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Jan 27, 2022 18:38
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What is the point. I can't find joy in anything anymore. The world is doomed. Nothing will remain. People are psychos. Loved ones don't care. Living is hell. Therapy is not working. I hate alcohol. Drugs scare me. I hate exercise. Can't meet people due to COVID. What do I do?
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Jan 28, 2022 12:19
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AceOfFlames posted:What is the point. Complain about it on the Something Awful forums, like the rest of us.
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Jan 28, 2022 12:28
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AceOfFlames posted:What is the point. Whatever you want to do. The world is a much larger place than you understand. Maybe you're just stuck in a routine and you need to break out - try a new hobby, learn a new skill, start a personal project or goal. There is no point to life, only you can make one for your life.
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Jan 28, 2022 19:08
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I can't even find the energy or motivation to clean my house or cook, let alone get a hobby. most of my free time (and the time I am supposed to be working for that matter) is spent constantly bouncing around between doom scrolling, watching random poo poo on YouTube, reading 5 pages of a random book or just pacing back and forth. 95% of my waking hours is utterly wasted. y attention span is utterly shot. my employer has essentially gotten a junior to babysit me. I'm surprised I haven't been fired. I'm hosed.
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Jan 28, 2022 22:27
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I mean gently caress, in the before times I was feeling hyped over the fact that I was going to the gym regularly for the first time in my life. Now not only can I not do that there's no point. "Isn't having a healthier lifestyle it's own reward?" No. only thing I care about is being less of a skinny fat gently caress so more people hang out with me but since we are all trapped inside that's utterly irrelevant now. I only work if I get paid. I only clean if people are coming. I function purely via external incentives and don't know how or even if I should stop.
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Jan 28, 2022 23:07
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AceOfFlames posted:I mean gently caress, in the before times I was feeling hyped over the fact that I was going to the gym regularly for the first time in my life. Now not only can I not do that there's no point. "Isn't having a healthier lifestyle it's own reward?" No. only thing I care about is being less of a skinny fat gently caress so more people hang out with me but since we are all trapped inside that's utterly irrelevant now. Have you considered seeing a therapist to discuss this problem on specific and individual terms?
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Jan 28, 2022 23:56
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AceOfFlames posted:I only work if I get paid. I only clean if people are coming. This is true for like 87% of people.
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Jan 29, 2022 00:31
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Jorge Bell posted:Have you considered seeing a therapist to discuss this problem on specific and individual terms? I am. It's not working.
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Jan 29, 2022 00:35
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thotsky posted:This is true for like 87% of people. And yet even my family thinks I should be "proud" of my work for its own sake. I am very much a child when it comes to making me do things. I don't clean unless people come over. I don't work unless someone literally tells me "do this" or is looking over my shoulder. Apparently people have some sort of "internal motivation" that I don't possess. I wonder if it was how I was raised. my mom would give me money every time I got good grades in lieu of allowance. I think that screwed me up.
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Jan 29, 2022 01:23
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AceOfFlames posted:And yet even my family thinks I should be "proud" of my work for its own sake. I am very much a child when it comes to making me do things. I don't clean unless people come over. I don't work unless someone literally tells me "do this" or is looking over my shoulder. Apparently people have some sort of "internal motivation" that I don't possess. I wonder if it was how I was raised. my mom would give me money every time I got good grades in lieu of allowance. I think that screwed me up. Do you mean you don't do anything without external pressure or that you don't do the stuff you get paid for without external pressure? Cuz that latter one is just The Economy Working As Intended, and frankly people who put effort into their jobs when it's not clear how they're going to get compensated are sick freaks. Jobs and cleaning are, for most of us, moderately unpleasant tasks that we don't do basically unless we have to (though most of us have a Filth Limit where cleaning is less stressful than not cleaning, but it's way filthier than our Feeling Presentable limit). I'm sure as gently caress not here because I'm a paragon of mental health but I do absolutely have things that I enjoy doing. I enjoy cooking, and even more having my cooking praised by others. I like some of the art I do and reading and meditating and so on. I can muster up the energy to deliberately herd cats to have RPG nights n such. So I've got "internal motivation," I just don't direct that into my workplace because I'm not a mark.
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Jan 29, 2022 01:48
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