(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:She was a good person. No point to this other than to say I'm sad a good person is no longer with us. that sucks, I’m sorry for your loss
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Apr 2, 2021 15:41
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thehandtruck posted:Ya really really really good advice on every single point A lot of therapists would teach or give me CBT homework - stuff like negative thought patterns - it never properly clicked. I knew they were bad, but it never went into detail just how I was supposed to change it. DBT is super structured, and does a lot to acknowledge that the coping techniques we've developed on our own are hard to change because they are effective. It's a program that focuses on distress tolerance, regulating emotion, and interpersonal skills. It was originally for borderline personality disorder, but it's great for anything that has you locked in intense emotional patterns - addiction, bipolar, self-harm, eating disorders, PTSD, etc. I'm in it for dealing with old trauma patterns, RSD from ADHD, and just intense self-hate. I really like it because it just spells poo poo right out for me, and gives me steps on how to do it. Like I know I should stick up for myself and ask for what I need, but DBT gives me all the steps and skills to do that, because it accepts that I was probably never taught these things as a child. So for example, during the COVID isolation I've turned to drinking to feel happier, even though I know alcoholism runs in my family. My therapist never shamed me for it, or scolded me about ruining my health - we worked together to identify what about it I liked, what DBT skills could help stop or alleviate the intense feelings of loneliness or boredom that lead to me grabbing a bottle, and things I could substitute it with. If I messed up, we changed tactics. I went through a long intake appointment to make sure I fit in with a local clinic's DBT program, which lasts about 50 weeks, ideally. It goes though the text material twice, as people seem to have better luck retaining skills. And that's honestly the biggest downfall of the system, is it's a huge commitment. I have a regular 1 hour appointment with my therapist to discuss my personal issues and strategies. On top of that, I have a two hour group meeting each week with two facilitators and a bunch of other people. It's much more like a class, less like the sitting in a circle and discussing our problems. Anything we do share with the group is very limited, as to not trigger anything. The same textbook and worksheets we use are also readily available, so if you can't afford the cost or the time commitment, it's still possible. The structure and accountability is paramount to my ADHD rear end, but if I couldn't continue I would still try to work through it on my own. Treat it like a class if you do - go slow, review, practice, and pick a regular day/time.  aside, the best advice I can give for making it through the endless chain of therapists to find the right person/program is to try and find something good that came out of it. No one person will be the one to heal you, but a little bit of everything. Sure this one person was a prick who saw me for 10 minutes, but at least they sent me to get tested for ADHD! She couldn't fix my incessant self-hate and despair, but she helped me accept my friends aren't lying when they give me a complement.God it's such slow going and it loving sucks, and many days it doesn't even feel worth it. But I'm not going to let the people who damaged me have the final say. Do what you can when you can and keep trying, and gently caress capitalism.
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Apr 2, 2021 19:39
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Is there a form of therapy that is more leftist friendly? CBT sounds like it really pushes some stuff that's questionable from the perspective of being a person with vigorous principles that are at odds with this shithole world, like the whole leftist project would be dismissed as catastrophizing and "should" statements or something. But idk, I've never tried it.
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Apr 2, 2021 22:23
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I’ve had multiple therapists tell me I’m too stubborn for CBT lol
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Apr 2, 2021 22:38
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indigi posted:I’ve had multiple therapists tell me I’m too stubborn for CBT lol I'm trying to work on a fear of heights thing and reading the treatment is "ssris, benzos, and cbt" really has me bummed
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Apr 2, 2021 22:40
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CBT has homework and I have ADHD so I do all homework at the last possible moment. CBT doesn't work if you do your homework in the car park 5 minutes before your appointment
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Apr 2, 2021 22:44
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SchnorkIes posted:I'm trying to work on a fear of heights thing and reading the treatment is "ssris, benzos, and cbt" really has me bummed just don’t step up or climb onto anything ever, easy peasy
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Apr 2, 2021 22:48
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indigi posted:just don’t step up or climb onto anything ever, easy peasy I'm a plane this is impacting me professionally. But I mean no kidding my fear of heights causes problems at work unironically.
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Apr 2, 2021 22:50
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I'm finding it hard to find the appropriate spaces to share in. I share about my mental health with my psychiatrist, therapist, and my NAMI support group. I have politics on my mind quite often. Definitely to an unhealthy degree. I've mentioned in this thread before that I have bipolar 2, and I bounce between being angry and sad. Ironically, reading this forum is triggering because of all the horrible things I learn, but it's also cathartic because I actually find takes that I agree with. I'm pretty far to the left, and most of the people I know in person are center-left, moderate, or Trump supporters. I don't really like arguing about politics, but I think it's important to express my views at the same time. I try to seek people I can confide in about different issues. It gives me a way to vent without ending up in an argument. I was part of a WhatsApp group that included people I knew in person. Some friends, and some friends-of-friends. During the height of the George Floyd protests last year, I was sharing articles and videos about police violence. I butted heads with the conservatives in the group, who showed concern over the safety of storefronts and confederate statues, but no concern over the lives of people of color. I told them they cared more about property than human life, and called them "bootlickers". My mom was in and out of the hospital at the time, and I mentioned this to the group. The people I insulted said kind things and wished her the best. I ended up apologizing, and told them that I did in fact think they cared about other people. I know there's a whole world of nuance that I ignored in my arguing and apologizing. It was black and white thinking. They empathized with me and my family, but not the victims of state violence and white supremacy. Not too long after, I argued with the resident conservatives again, and was scolded by a centrist for being harsh. They had said some vile things, including making fun of dead protesters. I called the chatroom a "safe space for fascism" and left. I'm not saying any of this to justify or condemn anyone's actions. I handled the entire situation poorly, and am embarrassed. I want to fight the good fight, but I just end up feeling bad if I'm too harsh. I'm still in contact with these same people, but through our discord channel where we mostly only talk about fun stuff. I don't bring up politics with them any more. It's especially hard to deal with people close to me. I care about them and what they think of me, and I know I end up being too sensitive to what they say or do. Since last year, I made one political facebook post when Biden took office. It bothered me to see so many people celebrating him taking office, so I listed a few things I disliked about his policies. No one responded, and I think that's for the best. I'm torn between wanting to stand up for what I believe to be right, and not wanting to start poo poo with other people. At this point, I'm only really open with my therapist about my beliefs and politics. I've been trying to find a place where I can take action with people who see eye-to-eye with me. I was active in Indivisible for a while, then I was with DSA for a while. I know that no one is going to completely agree with me about everything. Maybe I need to alter my expectations. I'm still active in NAMI, but I basically keep my beliefs to myself there. I want to find a constructive outlet for my political beliefs, but I have no idea what that would look like. Maybe I should look for organizations that focus on a single issue with which I agree. I enrolled in a 2-part class on grant writing with the intention of helping my local NAMI branch, and possibly getting my foot in the door elsewhere. A few comments from my parents sent me spiraling into depression, and I ended up dropping the class. I know I can try again in the future, but that was demoralizing. I've been trying to take my mind off the world at large. I binge watched The Terror season 1, and loved it. I started season 2, but when they got to the Japanese internment camps during WW2 I couldn't handle it. It hit way too close to home. I stopped watching, and I'm not sure I'll pick it back up. We're using concentration camps right now, and we're expanding them. The USA is loving up Latin America, and it looks like we'll continue to do so in the foreseeable future. Conservative and liberal leaders spectacularly mishandled the covid crisis, and I don't have much hope of us addressing global climate change. With Biden in office, many people I know are acting like these issues are handled. It makes me feel like the problem is within me, and a few people I know have even alluded to that idea. Ultimately, I think I need to find acceptance. People are not going to act the way I want, and the world will never be the way I want. I want to have thicker skin, and I want to be able to handle the bullshit that life throws at me. I'm working with my therapist on acceptance, and she recommends focusing on forgiveness. Forgiving myself, and forgiving others. It has been working well on minor things, but I don't know how to live with the bigger issues. I don't want to forgive or accept human rights violations, but I need to find a way to handle it if I'm ever going to have a good life. I just caught up to the last few months of posts in this thread today. As far as I can tell, everyone here is working their rear end off to have a better life and a better world. At the end of a NAMI class a while back, one of the facilitators wrote everyone a personalized note. I think it applies to all of you: "Believe you are amazing, because you are!!"
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Apr 2, 2021 23:56
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I don't want to forgive or accept human rights violations This to my understanding is why cbt may not be for me?
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Apr 3, 2021 00:34
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SchnorkIes posted:This to my understanding is why cbt may not be for me? Honestly, I found CBT to be life-changing. I'm definitely still struggling these days, but I was pretty much non-functional beforehand. I think a huge part of it was that it was a group setting. Being around other peers like me made a HUGE difference. Honestly, I'm not big on forgiveness, but I think acceptance is a big deal. When I found out someone close to me had sexually abused another person who was close to me, it threw me through a loop. It helped to talk about it, and I wrote an "anger letter," where I basically let them have it, pulling no punches. However, the letter was just for release, not to be delivered. I never ended up forgiving this person, but I found some acceptance of what happened. The hardest part was reconciling the person I knew before the incident (good) with what I knew they had done (loving evil). I did my best to understand the whole person, good and bad. It was loving with my head that a person who had done so much good, yet did something so horrible. I kept trying to categorize them as good or bad, but the only way for me to move on was to accept that they were both good and bad. I think forgiveness has a bunch of different connotations, and it doesn't necessarily mean allowing something bad to continue. Or reconciling with the person. I was raised by evangelicals, and there was a huge focus on guilt and forgiveness. Everything was black or white. This did me no favors when I was trying to process what happened to the person I care about. I've heard DBT is good for dealing with black and white thinking. I definitely fall into it. I found CBT to be very mechanical. We would identify thoughts, then evaluate whether or not they were accurate. It was annoying to have everything I said challenged, and it led to a lovely therapist dismissing something that was a big deal to me (side effects of a medication that were preventing me from sleeping at night). The CBT program I was in used a pool of therapists, and you would switch between them over time. The two therapists that I mostly encountered were not very good. One was actively hostile, and he was the one who dismissed my side effects. The other just wasn't very assertive or insightful. In spite of this, I still found it useful. The process of CBT helped me, even if the therapists were lovely. To me, it wasn't a way to think happy thoughts, but a way to think accurate thoughts. This helped remove a lot of extra stress from my life. There was also a focus on self-care and assertiveness. I honestly don't have an answer to dealing with acceptance or forgiveness of human rights violations. It's still something I'm trying to deal with. I don't think it's about letting anyone off the hook. I mostly want to be able to face it without debilitating anger/sadness/anxiety. I want to find acceptance for my own sake. I honestly don't think forgiveness is necessary to get there, but I'm still thinking about it.
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Apr 3, 2021 04:45
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SchnorkIes posted:Is there a form of therapy that is more leftist friendly? CBT sounds like it really pushes some stuff that's questionable from the perspective of being a person with vigorous principles that are at odds with this shithole world, like the whole leftist project would be dismissed as catastrophizing and "should" statements or something. But idk, I've never tried it. CBT isn't for everyone. After years of battling with anger issues stemming from PTSD, I gave it a try - I honestly think the only reason why I benefited from it was because my wife (an MFT herself) coached me and encouraged me along the way.
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Apr 3, 2021 04:48
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indigi posted:I’ve had multiple therapists tell me I’m too stubborn for CBT lol in my experience CBT is a weird mix of true but obvious statements and condescension i found some of the most basic elements of it to be genuinely useful for depression, but like, "be aware of your own feelings, get in the habit of consciously checking in on yourself, and don't mistake lowered mood for objective analysis of your situation" is like going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled and being reminded to brush your teeth regularly
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Apr 3, 2021 05:18
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I've been trying to find a place where I can take action with people who see eye-to-eye with me. I was active in Indivisible for a while, then I was with DSA for a while. I know that no one is going to completely agree with me about everything. Maybe I need to alter my expectations. I'm still active in NAMI, but I basically keep my beliefs to myself there. I want to find a constructive outlet for my political beliefs, but I have no idea what that would look like. Maybe I should look for organizations that focus on a single issue with which I agree. Hey, wanted to chime in to mention that you don't have to align perfectly with people to help out at a brake light clinic or other ground work community stuff once the pandemic is over. Everybody at those things is generally gonna be pretty "gently caress the police", and the direct action may do you good for a bunch of reasons. At the very least, it's bulletproof ammo if you end up confronting the chuds in your groupchat again. Just a suggestion, since your post directly references you not knowing how this might look in your life.
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Apr 3, 2021 09:34
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Tuxedo Catfish posted:in my experience CBT is a weird mix of true but obvious statements and condescension I think that's a pretty fair take on the whole CBT experience. I know when that when I'm feeling down, the last thing I personally need is for someone to 'parrot' everything I'm saying; it tends to exacerbate what I'm feeling or enduring in that moment.
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Apr 3, 2021 16:38
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Jorge Bell posted:Hey, wanted to chime in to mention that you don't have to align perfectly with people to help out at a brake light clinic or other ground work community stuff once the pandemic is over. Everybody at those things is generally gonna be pretty "gently caress the police", and the direct action may do you good for a bunch of reasons. At the very least, it's bulletproof ammo if you end up confronting the chuds in your groupchat again. Just a suggestion, since your post directly references you not knowing how this might look in your life. That sounds really good. I live in a fairly conservative suburban area, so it's a bit hard to find likeminded people or organizations. I know there are good people around here, which is an opportunity to start something. That's a scary thought though! I just want to reiterate that I do think highly of you all. A lot of us have lovely material circumstances, but I see everyone trying to improve their lives and the lives of others.
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Apr 3, 2021 18:38
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SchnorkIes posted:Is there a form of therapy that is more leftist friendly? CBT sounds like it really pushes some stuff that's questionable from the perspective of being a person with vigorous principles that are at odds with this shithole world, like the whole leftist project would be dismissed as catastrophizing and "should" statements or something. But idk, I've never tried it. yes there is!!!! And this is a giant topic that people write entire books on there are debates and entire fields of study around this topic so i'll try not to flood the thread with the info unless people Want To Know More. It's so large i barely know where to begin so im gonna pick a random spot on the circle and hope it makes sense: the human mind is around 90% unconscious mind and 10% conscious mind. tbh that percentage is being really charitable to the conscious mind and neuro-imaging studies, MRI's, EEG's, plus psychological studies and whatever show this. it also jives with evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, and neuropsychological findings as well. im guessing it's closer to 98% to 2% but whatever. Ok Imagine a baseball is the human mind, the core of the baseball is the unconscious mind, it's almost the whole thing. but there is an outer shell. the outer shell protects the inner core. it is our social norms and our cognition. the outer shell and inner core have a corona around it that is not connected and that's our behaviors. it's the end product. it's the end of the assembly line. it's fully reactionary and has no say in anything but it's what we see. picture a chud going wild for having to wear a mask. so CBT is cognitive and behavioral therapy. it is attempting to work ENTIRELY in the very thin and soy outer shell and the unconnected corona. it is an extremely hotly debated topic rn and people have tried to get it banned by the APA but capitalism and lobbying from insurance companies is a huge problem. Why is it a huge problem? Well if you are an insurance company your goal is to limit the number of sessions you have to pay for. CBT allows for this by giving a roadmap to the insurance company. "Patient will do X amount of blah blah blah for 5 weeks and then we can end therapy". What a loving wonder that CBT rose in "popularity" as insurnace companies solidified their power and capitalism hit the next stage, neoliberalism. Neoliberalism is all about attacking the SYMPTOM right loving now, but never solving the underlying issue. COMRADES THAT IS LITERALLY CBT, THAT EXACT SAME IDEA. CBT IS LITERALLY NEOLIBERALISM. it let's the therapist say, "i dunno, i gave them the worksheets, it's not my loving problem." in many scenarios, insurance will actually NOT COVER THERAPISTS WHO DON'T USE CBT. it is the capitalists response to healing someone in pain. ----no corner is unsoiled by capitalism, even your therapy room---- study after study show that if CBT alleviates symptoms after a couple years the chad unconscious will REROUTE and you will develop new lovely behaviors and new pain. so you get more CBT and "fix" those behaviors. but beceause you NEVER SOLVE THE PROBLEM SYSTEMICALLY, YOU NEVER SOLVE THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE ISSUE, THE BEHAVIORS KEEP POPPING UP BECAUSE THE CHAD UNCONSCIOUS MIND OVERPOWERS THE INCEL CONSCIOUS MIND. gee i wonder why the homeless population keeps increasing.  Anyway Schnorkles the leftist theory is Family Systems. the history of it is the most cspam thing you could imagine. it always thinks systemically. whereas CBT works in the outer shell of the mind, family systems works entirely in the inner core. It takes into account your social system, your family system, your internal system, your governmental system, even your spiritual system. and that's why it works. it attempts to understand the structures and systemic reasons for something. imagine that sentence in a political lense. like maybe we should understand the structures and systemic reasons for racism and homelessness. CBT is tells you, ya sorry about the cops killing you but maybe we should try putting #BLM in our ubereats twitter bio. hire more trans war criminals, that sort of thing. more and more people are moving towards FS even though CBT and insurance companies have their hold on things right now. FS is from the 50's and it was all the rage and it literally worked and then reagan and capitalism and blah blah blah. i guess im just saying that so you know it's not some boutique theory. most programs including mine had family systems as the absolute archstone to the entire program. there are multiple classes on it and they are requisites. the other thing to note is that capitalism has decimated the learning apparatus of new therapists. most of the sites that new trainees learn from are underfunded and so they NEED a ton of new therapists to keep the lights on because it's free labor. you do not get paid for 1-2 years as a trainee, even when you are seeing clients fully on your own, there's no one else in the room. in california some sites have 30-40 trainees per ONE SUPERVISOR. ONE. ofc they can charge more money to clients to hire another supervisor and reduce the ratio so there's better training, BUT then you aren't serving communities who don't have the money. and most of these sites are TRYING to help lower SEC people but they are damned if they do and damned if they don't. and when you are a new therapist who doesn't have the training and you're all on your own because of the insane supervisor:intern ratio, YOU'RE GOING TO TURN TO loving WORKSHEETS because you don't know any better and you're all on your own! capitalism knows no bounds. I've told colleagues i think it is actually unethical to work solely in CBT. i think it makes the therapist feel good and effective and you can the get the closure and completeness but without going into the pain with your client. that is unethical to me. i have heard it been described as evil. almost nobody does the loving homework anyway. "here go home and give yourself a panic and lmk how it went" lmao okay sure but with that being said I use a few techniques from it too, both as a client and as a clinician. if someone is having panic attacks everytime we talk about their father im going to stop and work on some grounding techniques before we can get to the harder stuff so they have some tools to do the hard work and soothe themselves. i will definitely dip into CBT a bit so i can get more information about what's going on with them so I can find the root structures causing the problem. the first time i saw the list of cognitive distortions it blew my mind in a good way. so CBT DOES have nice uses that I employ myself but it can't be the entirety of the work. same thing with changing a country, you change the underlying structures not youtubing yourself putting flowers in a homeless person's change cup. of the other leftist therapists i know, 100% of them use systemic theories in their room. thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 19:08 on Apr 3, 2021 |
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Apr 3, 2021 18:51
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thehandtruck posted:Interesting stuff I haven't heard that take, and I'd love to hear more. My understanding was that CBT focuses on accurate thinking, which is useful if I'm unrealistically catastrophizing. I definitely did a lot of that before CBT (and still do to some extent). However, that doesn't do much to address REAL concerns. A lot of things are pretty bad right now, and accurate thinking doesn't address that. In a way, it might even reinforce the status quo. I like the idea of systemic solutions. A safe, supporting environment goes a long way toward improving mental health. Ever since I read LF back in the day, I've wanted to pursue systemic change in some way. Back then, I switched majors in college to sociology. I later grabbed a master's of public administration, hoping some credentials would allow me to do bigger things. That didn't pan out, but I still want to do something. CBT does seem to put a heavy burden on the peer. I had a lovely therapist who would tell people, "It doesn't sound like you want to get better." They were struggling and doing their best, but he acted like they hadn't succeeded because they hadn't taken personal responsibility. I mentioned him in a previous post. I was dealing with side-effects from a medication that led to sleep deprivation, so I was really struggling. He kept cutting me off mid-sentence, so I never was able to explain what was really happening. He assumed I was imagining things, and told me he didn't want me to invent new problems. He told me, "It doesn't sound like you want to get better." I believed him, and attempted suicide that night. I was in a noose, getting tunnel vision. I thought about something a better therapist in the program had said. "This too shall pass." I realized this feeling was temporary, and I could go on. We worked on assertiveness scripts in the CBT program, which we would use to confront difficult people. I used one to confront the therapist in class. Nothing really changed, and I kept the suicide attempt to myself. I know I could have filed a complaint afterward, but I just wanted to move on and forget this period of my life. Around the time of the CBT program, I had a social worker assigned to me by the university. She helped advocate on my behalf, and that made a HUGE difference. It's one thing to tell someone what they should do to improve their situation, and it's something very different to actually help them do it. I was dealing with insurance problems, billing problems, academic problems, and depression. I think that's the only time in my life where I had someone to fight for me. I wish more people could have that. It made me feel like more than just a "medical consumer."
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Apr 3, 2021 21:24
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Uganda Loves Me posted:"This too shall pass." personally I loving hate this because in my experience it is untrue, although if death qualifies I suppose it eventually will be
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Apr 3, 2021 21:28
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indigi posted:personally I loving hate this because in my experience it is untrue, although if death qualifies I suppose it eventually will be Yeah. That's the other edge of the sword: it will eventually pass, there's just no specific "how" guaranteed.
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Apr 4, 2021 01:00
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It was presented to me as referring to emotions, which change over time. For me, they do pass, but they come back too. I don't mean it in an optimistic "things will get better" way.
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Apr 4, 2021 03:14
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so uh, no one asked but I had a really good experience with CPT which is apparently an offshoot of CBT. I'm not a doctor. I like when people tell me what I need to do so I find the homework helpful. I found it helpful to really analyze the harmful thoughts I have had for a long time. There were many times my doc asked me to try break things down in math to disprove my thoughts. for example: you go to the grocery store x times, how many times have you been murdered? anyways, it's a land of contrasts but there's probably an answer for you out there. you just gotta keep fighting and surviving until you find it
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Apr 4, 2021 03:56
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breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:25 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Apr 6, 2021 02:28
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The CSPAM mental health thread seems like a good place to ask this: most of my "employable" skills are in graphic design and marketing, and a ton of positions want me to be good at social media. The last job I was at was toxic as hell, on top of extreme isolation and the pandemic. I'm trying hard to apply at non-profits, even if they under pay, because I just want meaningful work. But I won't have forever, rent is still due every month. Anyone have any advice or tips for making the best of a job that meshes poorly with your ethics? I can make the firm decision to not apply at an arms manufacturer or a known union buster, but I'm going to have to fake being excited about making tiktoks for cereal eventually, and I have a TERRIBLE time thinking of a job as "just a job".
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Apr 6, 2021 02:39
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try to think of it as “a way to pay rent until I find a job I can believe in.” just because you secure employment at a place you’re not in love with doesn’t mean you have to stop looking for one you can love
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Apr 6, 2021 02:46
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most people have little choice over their profession. working at a nonprofit is appealing for several reasons but do not lose sight of why those nonprofits exist and what societal role they serve (and thereby support something ghastly). that’s not to say you shouldn’t apply some discretion; steer clear of management if you want a clear conscience and don’t be something like a cop or anything similarly overt (McKinsey etc). you don’t need to read these books but reading Do What You Love by Miya Tokemitsu, 24/7: Late Capitalism and the Ends of Sleep by Jonathan Crary, and slightly older, Labor and Monopoly Capital: The Degradation of Work in the Twentieth Century by Harry Braverman, among others, was helpful for me to contemplate how the work relates to systems you are opposed to. if you’re not like a doctor or coder or whatever you will probably have an easier time finding money in management — labor is for suckers. it’s not an absolute rule that you would become a bad person as a result, but it helps.
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Apr 6, 2021 03:05
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I'm meeting with a substance abuse counselor/ doctor? tomorrow. I'm not even sure i would say I'm scared of their judgment anymore. I just want to be well. I've been counting my intake over the last week so I can be honest as possible.
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Apr 6, 2021 04:35
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Thank you mawarannahr and indigi for the suggestions and book recommendations. The system is crap, but I have to survive in it in the meantime.
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Apr 6, 2021 05:54
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Consummate Professional posted:I'm meeting with a substance abuse counselor/ doctor? tomorrow. I'm not even sure i would say I'm scared of their judgment anymore. I just want to be well. I've been counting my intake over the last week so I can be honest as possible. gently caress yeah that’s awesome. you’re brave and strong just for getting to this point, I admire you a lot Sanguinary Novel posted:Thank you mawarannahr and indigi for the suggestions and book recommendations. The system is crap, but I have to survive in it in the meantime. we all do, my good chum. just being conscious of and contemplating this stuff regarding your work means you’re pretty cool
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Apr 6, 2021 06:37
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Sanguinary Novel posted:The CSPAM mental health thread seems like a good place to ask this: most of my "employable" skills are in graphic design and marketing, and a ton of positions want me to be good at social media. The last job I was at was toxic as hell, on top of extreme isolation and the pandemic. God, I literally just finished a podcast about this very thing. So many people have shifted in their mindset when it comes to bringing their ethics into their work environment. Not that they haven't had ethics before, but that after 2020 we're collectively wanting to make every aspect of our lives ethical including our jobs and it's pushed people into really tough situations where they may be stuck in what's called the "Neutral Zone" in psychology, but in their jobs. You've already had the awakening moment but there's three steps to the growth. The first is the awakening or realization that you want change, then there's the Neutral Zone where you don't know what the gently caress to do, followed by making the change. The encouragement in the program and by the humanist psychologist that they had as guest was to embrace the neutral zone and don't rush it. That we tend to always want to move on to the next thing as fast as possible and it's ingrained in us in society, to just get over it, move on, etc. But it's actually in these moments of dissolution that you're feeling right now that you're actually doing the growing. The podcast was: "Step 1: The Pulse | ZigZag" from TED Talks Daily The psychologist was Chaplain Greg Epstein, the Humanist Studies director at MIT. https://open.spotify.com/episode/5xNJ8y3ZrP2qA2f0hzC2Ok?si=lyvwxVWeSyiHwyZbQ1nWdg&utm_source=copy-link
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Apr 6, 2021 09:16
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Consummate Professional posted:I'm meeting with a substance abuse counselor/ doctor? tomorrow. I'm not even sure i would say I'm scared of their judgment anymore. I just want to be well. I've been counting my intake over the last week so I can be honest as possible. This is a good thing to do.
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Apr 6, 2021 13:08
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Consummate Professional posted:I'm meeting with a substance abuse counselor/ doctor? tomorrow. I'm not even sure i would say I'm scared of their judgment anymore. I just want to be well. I've been counting my intake over the last week so I can be honest as possible. That's awesome! Congrats on taking that initiative. Teamwork is a big part of recovery - never hesitate to reach out to folks that are ready and willing to help.
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Apr 6, 2021 15:57
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whew, the appointment went pretty well and the doctor was super nice. I'm trying to make my work schedule fit in with the intensive outpatient option they have. I think having accountability like that would be super helpful for me. thank you for the kind words, everyone!
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Apr 6, 2021 17:52
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Consummate Professional posted:whew, the appointment went pretty well and the doctor was super nice. I'm trying to make my work schedule fit in with the intensive outpatient option they have. I think having accountability like that would be super helpful for me. is your workplace eligible for FMLA? if so, you don’t need to make your work for them, they have to make it work for you
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Apr 6, 2021 18:38
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good point, we do have FMLA. I guess I'm just trying to balance paying the bills and having the time set aside. I'll do some more digging on FMLA today to see what I can sort out.
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Apr 6, 2021 18:41
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Consummate Professional posted:whew, the appointment went pretty well and the doctor was super nice. I'm trying to make my work schedule fit in with the intensive outpatient option they have. I think having accountability like that would be super helpful for me. 
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Apr 7, 2021 05:37
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Thanks all for the therapy chat. Therapist said that she would help me get another one, and like her ability to have sessions after 4pm, this turned out to be not quite the truth and she effectively said I'm on my own with that. The only other therapist on the service with sessions is also business hours only. I could probably snag a parking spot in the garage instead of the roof at work like usual and do the session from my car in a pinch, but eh. I'll probably check again in a week or two. Jorge Bell posted:Hi, therapy isn't a grift, sorry the therapists you've seen haven't worked out for you. Some therapists suck, and it can be especially hard if the things that drive you nuts (so to speak) are present in the clinical format - offices, scheduling, that kind of poo poo. Self sabotage is definitely something I could see my brain trying to do. I say placebo effect because it seems like it's a "I went to therapy and now I feel better because that's what therapy does", and since I haven't really had anything positive ever come out of the experience, that's all my cynical-rear end brain has to go on. There's also some degree of paranoia. I know HIPAA is a thing, but my first therapist was a middle school psychologist and I only ever saw her when I was in trouble for acting out (abuse at home and bullying at school will do that), so she was a cop and I wasn't telling her jack poo poo because there was no way she was gonna be on my side or not drop the case notes on someone else's desk. Not the best thought process to have when you're supposed to trust these people implicitly. thehandtruck posted:Ya maybe ur right maybe therapy isnt right for you. It's not right for everyone. there are other paths to healing and serenity. -But therapy does seem to be pretty effective at least statistically BUT there are also a lot of bad therapists out there so who knows. of the pool of therapists that i know, i probably wouldnt refer clients to even half of them. BUT my ears do perk up a bit when you say you've been to four and not a single one was able to offer any help whatsoever, u know? maybe the swapping so often is what's hindering you. like ive had clients say they just want to meet every few weeks and i tell 'em if you want that to be just kind of a check in and it makes you feel more sane and grounded to talk to me sure let's blast but i also tell them we probably won't be able to make any progress or chip away at what's ailing you. Yeah the swapping doesn't help, especially since therapy is very trust based. Hopefully I can find one I can see regularly and gel with.
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Apr 7, 2021 17:45
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skooma512 posted:I could probably snag a parking spot in the garage instead of the roof at work like usual and do the session from my car in a pinch, but eh. I'll probably check again in a week or two. this is what I've had to do since last summer between work and my caretaking responsibilities (I'd been doing remote before that, but now I basically have to do it from the work parking lot or I'll be late; if I tried to do it from home and leave much later than I do now traffic is too bad to make it in on time). I don't even know if I could fit an in-person visit into my schedule anymore the way things are going in my lovely life lol.
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Apr 7, 2021 19:41
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I went back in forth in my mind about whether or not this post belongs in the OSHA thread, but considering the mental health impacts I opted for this. I apologize for the length of this but this is a slow burning event of the past six months. I work in a secure mental health facility with patients and juveniles that have been in the system and have substantial histories of aggression to themselves and to others. I've worked on a juvenile unit for over nine years and in general I very much enjoy working with kids. I work in the capacity as something of a camp counselor from a nursing discipline. We have a particular kid right now that ranks among the most interpersonally aggressive individuals I've ever met. He's attacked his family. He's attacked teachers, nurses, clinicians, police, everyone. While we've had him he's attacked his peers too many times to count. He's attacked us staff too many times to count. He's been officially charged with battery a few times in the past few months. My bosses have been playing the part of cowboys and have disregarded basic safety standards with respect to this kid many times. In so doing, they've been violating doctors orders and created the conditions for this kid to be able to attack people. People have been hurt by this one interaction and ended up on light duty, and traumatized. I've been extremely vocal about how violent this kid is and how their safety practices have led to these opportunities and have more or been laughed off. My coworkers and I joke about this practice blowing up in their face all the time and one time one of the bosses caught wind that we were having discussions about this and I was given the cold shoulder by them for a few weeks. I heard one of them instruct another to have me on "timeout for a minute." Another supervisor got all our attention one day and gave us a spiel about how if we have suggestions we should just say these things instead of leaving them out of the loop and that we're lucky because they're the ones who are most receptive to suggestions. He later asked me about this particular safety situation and I gave my honest assessment. I said that I believe this kid just wants to hurt people and we need to take every possible precaution (which already exists in our mandated training) and provided a succinct suggestion that would prevent all of these violent incidents. Last Tuesday all three of my bosses were present with a female nurse and ignored these safety concerns again and the kid attacked. While attacking, he groped the breast of the nurse. My coworkers texted me (I was off) that the kid attacked, so I contacted the nurse to see if she was alright. She said she'd been sexually assaulted and was just burned out. I came extremely close to driving in to yell at all three of my bosses for their careless behavior. The only thing that stopped me was the idea that my doing so would make them oppositional-defiant enough as to continue their ignoring of safety precautions. When I came back to work I notice them somewhat sulking, but I don't really see them eating crow about this (if it had been my mistake I would never hear the end of it) or apologizing for their behavior. The kid is getting charged with sexual assault. I had a ton of respect for them before, and suddenly I have extremely little patience for any of them. I'm becoming very curt with them. I harbor so much anger towards them that I feel my blood pressure rising as I type this. TLDR: I'm beginning to not like my job and my bosses because they're gaslighting me for wanting safe working conditions and helped a kid sexually assault one of my coworkers.
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Apr 7, 2021 20:49
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Hilario Baldness posted:TLDR: I'm beginning to not like my job and my bosses because they're gaslighting me for wanting safe working conditions and helped a kid sexually assault one of my coworkers. I feel like you've gotta take this over their heads somehow, especially if they're still allowing these lapses in proper safety procedure. it's not fair to you, your coworkers, your patients, or frankly even the kid. first figure out what your options are, then talk to any coworkers you trust not to immediately spread it around to see if they'd be willing to act as witnesses, and go from there.
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Apr 7, 2021 22:13
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