(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
|
AceOfFlames posted:My boss just asked if there was something "blocking me" from my work. I can only assume this is code for "Why the gently caress haven't you finished something you said would take less than a week in three weeks". I said I was stressed out from working at home and having to deal with moving (which is true) but I am on thin ice already. gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress. I feel this way frequently, I really couldn't put it any better myself. Executive dysfunction is one of the shittier ADHD symptoms to deal with without counseling or medication. It also strikes me as imposter syndrome. You might be overestimating how much most people actually do and using that overestimation to shame yourself for not doing enough. Whether or not it's true that you don't do enough, attacking yourself for not doing enough is just another way for your executive dysfunction to get you to not do the poo poo you're not doing. This problem is why I didn't finish my doctorate - I got all the way done with coursework and this exact problem you're describing stopped me from being able to write my dissertation. It sucks! But it's also a relief to finally get away from academia because I lived in this state for like a whole decade, guilting myself over it, constantly self-hating because I didn't achieve what I 'should have'. The truth is, academia was never right for me BECAUSE I don't operate well with this specific type of deadline/pressure/work structure in general. But now that I'm out of academia I do still struggle with this somewhat, because on a basic level that's ME causing that problem. But certain environments and situations make it way, way worse. So I got out of that one and am doing something else now where I feel like I can manage it and my anxiety while still getting stuff done. I hope you can change your approach to yourself from raging at yourself for not doing things, to taking positive steps and celebrating them, no matter how small. The hardest part of beating executive dysfunction is getting started. I hope your new prescriptions help with all this too.
|
#
¿
Apr 28, 2020 00:33
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:41 |
|
|
Dick Trauma posted:I went through something back in the nineties that broke my crying circuitry. I haven't cried since then and frankly don't miss it. I can only cry about really stupid poo poo now. sister died in a car accident? don't think i ever cried about it. dying in a video game? oh ye ahere we go boi
|
|
#
¿
May 1, 2020 11:16
|
|
|
gently caress people who drive large sUVs with dark tinted windows, when I got raided by the DEA 6 of those pulled up on me in my front yard inches away and a swat team jumped out of them and a lot of bad things happened two of them happened to be driving on my street one behind the other and the one in front suddenly pulled into my driveway and it was just them tu rning around but i instantaneously freaked out and started to tremble my thoughts were racing and my heart was racing and i immediately thought I was about to get raided again even though I do not sell drugs anymore and haven't for many years like just drive a normal car you loving dipshit
|
|
#
¿
Jul 1, 2020 01:55
|
|
|
Zil posted:Dude that sucks and I can see how it would be a triggering event for you. I hope you're in a better mental place now then when it happened. thanks, it's incredibly annoying that something so mundane could instantaneously destroy my mood and sense of well being, it didn't last long but it still shook me and killed my vibes for a few hours. wasn't even on my radar of 'things that might gently caress me up'
|
|
#
¿
Jul 1, 2020 02:08
|
|
|
Okan170 posted:Trying to come back into the thread and get some sense of everyone else, that I'm not the only one going through this. I've been having to take extended breaks because when posters go on about how more Trump is inevitable, its been ripping at the only thing keeping me going. I've been fine feeling like in the worst case, things end for me in November one way or another, with no plans just no desire to experience hell. Keeping any hope has been very hard, but its like one thread I can hold on to. Somehow the stay at home isn't so bad... but the world around just seems to push the nihilism in constantly. Very tired of being constantly furious at the idiots all around this city. I don't want to bring discussions about this into this thread, but I think it is probably a good idea to have some coping tools that don't rely on hoping that joe biden is going to make things better one day. As apocalyptic as things may look what with both presidential candidates being what they are, you will be OK even if trump does win again. There will be some aspects of life that will continue to get shittier after november regardless of which direction they get shittier, probably most things. But that doesn't mean that life won't be worth living, and it doesn't mean there won't be joy to be found in the world. I understand that it's hard and it's a brutal and lovely reality we're all being subjected to. you're not alone in feeling the way you do at all. Life is a constant struggle, and you're in no way wrong for having a hard time with how lovely it is sometimes. I'm also constantly, unendingly angry at how loving stupid and selfish and assholish human beings are 100% of the time and that infringes on every aspect of my life all the time, and I deal with that by being conscious about the things I do enjoy and reminding myself that I enjoy them and that despite how lovely things are I still have fun and enjoy things and have good times. I don't know if that's useful for you, I know how convoluted this all sounds but it's the world we live in, I guess. Keep on keepin on, I know how hard it is, and I see you, and I have respect for your perseverance in the face of it all. Chokes McGee posted:Things are not great right now. I'm trying to strong together as many good days as I can, and right now my record is... Three. For the last two months. Just three. that's three more than zero my dude. You're fighting back against it, and I love you for it, and your fight is tough and you're a goddamn superhero for clawing back 3 of those days from the forces of bullshit. Great job, and good luck in wresting more days of joy away from the bullshit
|
|
#
¿
Jul 2, 2020 22:52
|
|
|
Tarnop posted:Ask me about self-esteem and self-worth. I can't break my executive dysfunction for more than 5 minutes to make my home livable for myself, but I cleaned like a maniac for 4 hours this morning because a gas fitter was coming to inspect my boiler and I was scared he'd get on the phone to one of those reality shows about hoarders. Lol I do this too. Stuff just becomes part of the landscape until someone else might see the landscape and then it's a parade of panic inducing horrors
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2020 23:54
|
|
|
I'm tipsily posting this all over the loving place but, mental health thread, have a feelgood story: yesterday I rescued my old neighbor's cat - who ran off the day they moved to houston, 7 hours a way, 7 weeks ago, and who i looked for every single day until I finally saw her for the first time two days ago - and they immediately left their 4 month old baby with one of their parents and drove all the way back here as soon as I showed them pictures of her. Here we all are, with them reunited again. I hope this story and picture blesses you with some serotonin in these trying times. Good things still happen, and near-strangers might go to the ends of the earth to find and rescue your cat for you, states away, for weeks on end. So fuckin' happy right now. This will probably be my best memory from this god forsaken year.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 11, 2020 12:17
|
|
|
Who among us has not violently sobbed after singing loudly along to a talking heads track
|
|
#
¿
Jul 15, 2020 07:18
|
|
|
Extensive Vamping posted:Big wedding today (Iowa). Went inside and I'm literally the only person with a mask. I asked my wife and kids to put theirs on, after a minute I thought better of it and said "We should probably be going". They reluctantly followed me out. So they're not happy with me, the familiy probably thinks I'm weird, I'm wondering if I'm overreacting. You did the right thing
|
|
#
¿
Jul 19, 2020 04:58
|
|
|
Ice Phisherman posted:Hi thread. I'm an online activist for covid stuff and political stuff. I've been staring into the void for a bit. Doesn't feel great. Especially since I'm in uh...Month five of this poo poo. I've been grinding on path of exiles lately, if you liked diablo 2 or 3 you should check it out. It's honestly quite chill. Extensive Vamping posted:Had an argument with a friend a while ago. I'm an underachiever and he was saying if I applied myself I could have more. My response was I have everything I could ever want. Granted I'll never be able to retire and I'm at pretty high risk for a number of medical ailments. more than anything, I have always wanted to not feel like I failed and disappointed everyone, which I know is not something I should want to be my driving motivation. I don't mean for it to be. But I personally don't have grand ambitions about being the greatest, I just want to not have failed. If I could live without the stress of what if I fail I would probably be 10 times as successful. 
|
|
#
¿
Jul 22, 2020 05:03
|
|
|
thehandtruck posted:Just out of curiosity what methods of dealing with anxiety have you guys tried? Anxiety can turn to depression once you feel trapped by the anxiety. smoking weed until I can't see, think, or walk straight
|
|
#
¿
Jul 22, 2020 19:05
|
|
|
A friend of ours died yesterday, at first we were told it was the Roni and that sucked. I found out earlier that it was suicide. And that really really really sucks. I am all out of blueprints for how to react or process stuff, I've known people who died by unintentional suicide and been a few steps removed from intentional suicide before too. But this was someone we really knew, my wife worked hundreds of long shifts with him(two person retail store) and he was a friend, not super close but, close enough. This really sucks. I guess it's weird but I wish the people I knew who have died this year at least died of corona. No, it's all been either heroin overdoses or outright suicide. This is the 5th person I know who has died this year and by far the closest one to me. And poo poo has not even begun to begin getting really bad yet. I am already shell shocked, with my brain snapping back to the fact that Ryan is loving dead because he killed himself over and over again whenever I'm not focusing on something. I already know I will very likely have to make space for several more deaths that will be just as bad or worse. Probably soon. This year sucks.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 31, 2020 03:50
|
|
|
novaSphere posted:Had a good, cathartic talk with my parents tonight. If you are able you should try out a CPAP. Even if you don't have apnea they improve your sleep quality and would make this quite literally impossible
|
|
#
¿
Jul 31, 2020 04:38
|
|
|
Chokes McGee posted:yeah I've been informed I snore like a freight train so I have a CPAP. I don't use it enough though because I can't sleep with it on, even with the least invasive nasal pillows possible have you tried a face mask? I use a cpap and for some reason never once ever disliked it at all, in fact I loved how it felt from the first moment I tried it in the doctor's office. I guess I had already understood the kind of relief it represented by that point though and was fully gung-ho emotionally invested in it working or something. But I haven't slept a night without it since I first got it and if mine broke suddenly I would do absolutely whatever it took to replace it within 24 hours. I've always used a full mask though.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 31, 2020 08:32
|
|
|
novaSphere posted:I've been informed I snore and also occasionally take long pauses between breathing so maybe I should look into one You almost certainly have sleep apnea and getting a CPAP might be the thing you need to improve your quality of life by leaps and bounds. Untreated sleep apnea ruins your health and life and makes literally everything in life more difficult and shittier and it can hardly be overstated
|
|
#
¿
Aug 1, 2020 23:53
|
|
|
Science WHORE posted:I don't feel joy or contentment. I don't know why to keep doing anything because the future is so hosed. Do it out of pure selfish hedonism op
|
|
#
¿
Aug 2, 2020 09:58
|
|
|
Everything sucks and at this point I wish I were just a dumb chud thoughtlessly barreling through life without giving a gently caress about anything because the only things that will ever succeed are racism and money
|
|
#
¿
Aug 12, 2020 05:32
|
|
|
my wife's friend and coworker of many years killed himself a couple weeks ago and she has been down and she spent like 5 hours making a cross stitch pattern yesterday and it was really awesome and I posted it somewhere here thinking goons would like it and think it was funny and I know now that was dumb but I was hoping to like, pump her up a little by showing her that people liked something she made and instead the first response called her 'loving basic' and then a bunch of them dogpiled on me for snapping on them and I am now feeling Very Bad and also am probably going to get probated over it because I don't sit on discord with mods all day or whatever and a bunch of people are laughing at me in a mean spirited and unpleasant way and I guess that's probably going to happen here too i am trying to stop myself from full on splitting on this community again over it because I know that's an over reaction but if it goes the way I am expecting I guess I probably will anyway oh well, hell people will probably respond in this thread with some mean spirited poo poo too I wish I didn't give a poo poo what people I don't even know think about anything
|
|
#
¿
Aug 16, 2020 21:50
|
|
|
I'm so tired of the miserable nightmare my life has become. Brief moments of things being ok or being able to distract myself punctuated by gut punch after gut punch. I just want a few good days, I just want to feel secure or ok. I feel disgusting and fat and gross on top of it and I can't do anything about it. My button business died and hasn't gotten an order in months and I am a failure on every level possible and the only thing that stops me from killing myself is how much it would hurt my wife. I hate my life and I wish it were over and I don't want to do it all anymore. If our stimulus and tax return would just get here maybe we would be ok but it will very likely be multiple months before either does and when they do it'll just be a brief respite from abject poverty before it all bleeds away again. Posting this is probably dumb too and will probably get me in trouble somehow too but I am in the waiting room of the emergency vet for the thousandth time this month waiting to hear if my cat is going to die, again. AGAIN. Everything I was supposed to be in life, I'm not, every opportunity I ever had, I squandered and I don't think there's any hope of it ever getting better. I'm just a total failure on every conceivable level and I wish I was dead but I can't even be that because i have obligations to other people and my cats. I hate this, I hate myself , I wish I wasn't this pathetic sack if poo poo but I am
|
|
#
¿
Mar 26, 2021 23:15
|
|
|
finally got our tax return last night - went to get a 2.99 4-pack of beers and checked the account expecting to see $43 ish, which would be for the next week, and saw multiple thousands instead. I guess it's no surprise but as a result i feel more clear headed and good today than I have in months. Resource scarcity does a loving number on your mental health. So relieved to be out from under that anxiety for now.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 8, 2021 23:13
|
|
|
doing worse than ever really. money is dwindling as expected. I've tried to find a job and can't even get hired at walmart because I somehow failed their retail associates questionnaire in such a way that i can't even try again for 2 months. my wife is more miserable than she's ever been, and I can't do anything about it and I can't complain when she wakes up sobbing and yelling at 6 am and calls off work for a third time in a week because she can't handle it anymore because it's just so awful and unpleasant. I have constant intrusive thoughts about how worthless I am, about how much of a burden I am, about how fat I am, about how everyone around me would be better off if I were gone. I do not see any of these situations improving and I'm having more and more thoughts of self harm all the time. Even the things I am supposed to be enjoying doing, I just get upset because they don't go the way I want them to and then I make my wife even more miserable by my company. I really have nowhere and noone that I can really say any of this to because my wife is under too much pressure, facebook is a pointless void of people talking past each other and people who live 3000 miles away or whatever and none of those people want to hear any of it and nobody is equipped to say anything to me that would be helpful anyway. the solution is for me to get a job and get my wife away from this awful job she hates so much but i don't think I can. I'm dead weight, and I'm just getting heavier all the time. everything I do, everywhere I go, everyone i talk to just reminds me of what a failure I have turned out to be and how everything is just getting worse. everything is going to keep getting worse. I am withering, maybe I am fully withered already, and I have nowhere to go but down.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 7, 2021 21:38
|
|
|
cpap now no longer works. so I can no longer sleep - literally at all. my life can't get any worse than this. I can't afford a new one. I'll never be able to afford a new one. there's nobody i can ask for help. there's nobody who can help me. I just want to be dead. I want this to be over. I just want to die
|
|
#
¿
Jul 22, 2021 12:49
|
|
|
i dont think i will ever be happy again. everything will just get worse all the time, and i will fail at everything i try forever. i will always get an inch from achieving something, from being something, and then i will fail. it's what i've done my whole life and i have this giant pile of things i failed at and nothing i can point to and call a success. nothing at all. the best i can hope for is an existence where i stop trying to have hobbies or care about things and just spend 4-5 decades working and never getting ahead and never being anything more than what i am now, probably less in fact. the part of my life where i could have achieved things is over. now i just deal with having failed for the rest of my life. it seems pointless. I will never have kids, I will never have any future worth looking forward to. I wish I was dead.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 5, 2021 20:58
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:41 |
|
|
Tulip posted:If by consistent you mean like, 365 days a year, I'd take that as a sign that it's time to talk about adjusting your meds. AFAIK SSRIs are not by default a long-term solution, might even just need to be on a different one. tcc has an addiction and recovery megathread, they may have more resources for you, either for yourself in coping with a situation like this or with what can be done to help your brother. they are very sincere there and I am quite sure would be happy to help you if they can.
|
|
#
¿
May 21, 2022 17:23
|
|