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Meet "Nick." AKA Big Dick Nick/BDN, AKA Hard Rock Nick. Nick is an internet gem, a self-proclaimed "white trash millionaire" sharing his wisdom and sexual exploits. Part owner of the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas*, part owner of Netflix*, and once considered for the role of Ivan Vanko in Iron Man 2* before Mickey Rourke was cast:       He's got a private/personal chef and everything!:       Racist, sexist, classicist all in one! Nicholas (Big Dick Nick/Hardrock Nick) Johannsen has recently been "discovered" by the non-goon masses via a now-viral tweet. But what brought us to this point? Who is this guy? Why does any of this matter? In this post I will establish a timeline (of publicly accessible information only). It all started in mid-2015 with the harassment of a Goonette on Facebook and Instagram. He started posting poo poo like this on her pictures:    And she linked to his IG profile for the rest of the Goons to laugh at. She made some art of him, which he loved:  And for 3ish years he remained little more than an inside joke amongst the rival SA Facebook factions, occasionally with a blip on Reddit or elsewhere in the dregs of social media, but largely he was just another gross dude online. In 2016 he'd taken is IG back private because he was sick of Goons poo poo, but late 2017/early 2018ish he went back public. Definitely a pathological liar and weirder than most with some nuts delusions of grandeur, but if you've seen one (Russel Greer, Lucas Werner) you've seen them all. Au contraire. In 2018 poo poo got weird. Real weird. Nick mentioned in an Instagram Live feed he had been married once, had his heart broken, and as the internet is wont to do, people got curious. In January 2018...BDN's story exploded with the discovery of two court documents revealing the following:  Yeah that's right, he broke into his ex-wife's house, trashed the place, and poo poo in her sink. The court documents are nuts. But wait...who the gently caress is Jash? It ends up that Aly Jash, a son of Middle Eastern Immigrants, changed his legal name to Nicholas Rock Johannsen (and his fake ethnicity to Nordic, making the aforementioned racism fairly  ) and the weird "to all my haters" videos on his YouTube channels made a lot more...sense. As it ends up, Goons weren't ground 0 for finding out this guy was a shithead, he's got what is probably the most prolific PlayerBlock profile ever, full to the gills with fake reviews clearly written by him. Observe:  It seemed like this reveal finally took away the mystique of BDN - now that Goons knew who he actually was, that he poo poo in his ex-wife's sink, that he declared bankruptcy, that he ripped off his own mom to buy his "$100k lifted show truck," etc. Sure, everyone *knew* he was full of poo poo and wasn't actually a millionaire, but actually *knowing*...kind of sucked. Someone clued him in (via making a bunch of fake profiles, friending him from them, and other stupid poo poo), but it didn't really slow him down...     (His comment on that pic was a now-deleted and blocked response to a Goon telling him that was a comment view, not DM) February 2019. A NY Twitter blogger posts the aforementioned viral tweet, now...  CHRISSY. TIEGEN. WHAT IS HAPPENING. And is apparently being contacted by actual loving journalists now Where does BDN go from here? Have Goons inadvertently rewarded this idiot with what he wanted most (endless attention and Instagram stardom)? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. (*0 of these are true but all are claimed on his IG)
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Feb 10, 2019 23:02
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 15:50 |
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Bumping this because he's one of my favorite internet denizens. Thanks for doing your duty on the thread. Feels strange to see him go from a laughingstock of our Facebook goon group into a Twitter superstar. Guys, this guy is amazing. Seriously. The deeper you get the more hilarious it is.
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Feb 10, 2019 23:06
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Nick Foles owned the patriots in the superbowl and has a gigantic penis.
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Feb 10, 2019 23:10
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Chinatown posted:Nick Foles owned the patriots in the superbowl and has a gigantic penis. unlike Jared Goff lol
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Feb 10, 2019 23:15
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so is this big dick nick the same one bill simmons has referenced on his podcast because I haven't understood that reference imo
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Feb 10, 2019 23:21
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https://twitter.com/TheHoustonWade/status/1094542417544368129 does someone live near there. I need this to be true
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Feb 10, 2019 23:24
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Bardeh posted:https://twitter.com/TheHoustonWade/status/1094542417544368129 Supposedly he work(ed) as a detailer at a Mercedes dealership. Or a vending machine restocker (possibly at a Mercedes dealership). Who knows. 13Pandora13 fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Feb 11, 2019 |
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Feb 10, 2019 23:26
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I uh, I mean this guy is, uh I'll be back later
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Feb 10, 2019 23:28
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I love his bizarro selective racism. "Contact me if you are a hot 100% WHITE girl (This means no Israelis, Armenians, Chileans, or Finns)!"
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Feb 10, 2019 23:30
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I feel like this is the internet-age Gatsby poo poo where he's somehow suddenly going to get insane rich just to prove himself to everybody who doubted him and win back some girl we don't know about yet.
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Feb 10, 2019 23:34
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uhg
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Feb 10, 2019 23:40
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:I feel like this is the internet-age Gatsby poo poo where he's somehow suddenly going to get insane rich just to prove himself to everybody who doubted him and win back some girl we don't know about yet. That would require him to be successful at something other than being an internet laughing stock.
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Feb 10, 2019 23:40
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he's living his best life what r u doin
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Feb 10, 2019 23:56
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He has the girliest goddamn eyes. Like no offense to him if that's the look he wants to rock but his eyes are girlier than mine, a female. Combine that and the trainwreck facial hair and he's hilarious before you even get to his odious opinions
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Feb 10, 2019 23:56
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This fucker better not get rich for just being garbage I do it for free every drat day!
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Feb 11, 2019 00:12
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Bape Culture posted:This fucker better not get rich for just being garbage Same. I'm just not good at documenting it for everyone to see. But I guess that's the key in today's crazy world!
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Feb 11, 2019 00:13
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extra row of teeth posted:He has the girliest goddamn eyes. Like no offense to him if that's the look he wants to rock but his eyes are girlier than mine, a female. The lack of symmetry in his brows and his filed teeth drives me insane, like he's a living person operating in the uncanny valley. Bape Culture posted:This fucker better not get rich for just being garbage That's kind of my fear but I think any company that looks at his feed is going to send a cease and desist for their product images, not influencer checks
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Feb 11, 2019 00:17
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13Pandora13 posted:Meet "Nick." AKA Big Dick Nick/BDN, AKA Hard Rock Nick. This has nothing to do with superbowl MVP Nick Foles
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Feb 11, 2019 00:20
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Chinatown posted:Nick Foles owned the patriots in the superbowl and has a gigantic penis.
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Feb 11, 2019 00:20
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His normal facial hair is less dark and thinner than his strange design facial hair. Does... does he draw it on with a sharpie?
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Feb 11, 2019 00:34
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The personal chef making loving raviolis bullshit is perfecto
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Feb 11, 2019 01:16
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Additional Goon art. Fun fact, a non-goon company made a buttplug of the other Goonette's art as well:  Less fun fact, BDN then made an IG post (now deleted) about the woman who posted the above and others, and threatened to anally rape her. 
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Feb 11, 2019 01:25
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karma_coma posted:The personal chef making loving raviolis bullshit is perfecto Especially the ones in loving MARGARINE, like no professional chef ever has willingly purchased/cooked with margarine.
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Feb 11, 2019 01:27
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I remember one of the FB group threads about this guy. I think a goonette Skyped him and he hit on her hard. He kept referring to her as a Jewish princess and made creepy comments about her genes. He then tried to meet up with her (spoilers: she didn't take the bait).
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Feb 11, 2019 01:34
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Is this... art?
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Feb 11, 2019 01:34
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My takeaway so far is that there are apparently multiple rival goon Facebook factions, which doesn't seem pathetic only in relation to how big of a fuckup this dude is.
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Feb 11, 2019 01:42
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If it's art then this guy is a grand master. And not just for those eyebrows he sharpied onto his face either
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Feb 11, 2019 01:43
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I learned about this guy back when I was still part of FB Goon groups, and while I appreciated the humor of it, I thought he was best enough not to be let alone---not because it was wrong to gently caress with him, he was enough of a bully that pushing back seemed okay, but it just seemed there was no reason to touch the poop. He is also kind of a one-note jackass. He has weird facial hair, he brags improbably, and he constantly sexually propositions everyone. Not much more to it then that. But I have some serious questions about what is going on here. He has A) a criminal record for stalking and making threats, B) a habit of sexually propositioning women, C) what looks to be several layers of delusional and narcissistic personality disorders. There are people with less red flags who have snapped. The fact that this guy brags about TV Dinners on Instagram doesn't mean he isn't another Elliot Rodger.
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Feb 11, 2019 01:46
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Hustlin Floh posted:My takeaway so far is that there are apparently multiple rival goon Facebook factions, which doesn't seem pathetic only in relation to how big of a fuckup this dude is. The schisms were all exactly as stupid as you're imagining. Dang It Bhabhi! posted:Is this... art? We thought so at first but sadly it is not. Guy routinely tried to vandalize his ex wife's Wikipedia page (which I won't link the edit history to out of wanting to minimize her exposure in all this though her name is available elsewhere/in all the public court docs) and if you comb through the Twitter thread there's a LOT of women who he's contacted on IG, OKCupid, etc. sharing their stories of how incredibly "off" he is.
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Feb 11, 2019 01:47
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No one looks like that who isn't a homosexual. This guy is only looking for attention from men by making them jealous.
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Feb 11, 2019 01:51
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Aschlafly posted:I love his bizarro selective racism. I only gently caress Pheonicians, Myceneans, hybrids of Nigerian and Botswanan but with absolutely no Malian, and Peruvians.
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Feb 11, 2019 01:55
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Hell Stink posted:No one looks like that who isn't a homosexual. This guy is only looking for attention from men by making them jealous. so you know what homosexuals are looking for?
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Feb 11, 2019 02:00
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this guy definitely fucks
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Feb 11, 2019 02:02
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:so you know what homosexuals are looking for? 
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Feb 11, 2019 02:02
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not anymore than heteros are
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Feb 11, 2019 02:03
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:not anymore than heteros are poo poo, this remind me, I wonder if anyone told him the Roosh thinks he's a closeted gay for being so obsessed with asses.
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Feb 11, 2019 02:05
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:not anymore than heteros are So true...
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Feb 11, 2019 02:07
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The craziest part about all of this is that not only is there a goon Facebook group but several, rival goon Facebook groups.
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Feb 11, 2019 02:27
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This is odd.
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Feb 11, 2019 02:28
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Your Gay Uncle posted:The craziest part about all of this is that not only is there a goon Facebook group but several, rival goon Facebook groups. This too.
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Feb 11, 2019 02:28
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