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DUKE CANNON'S PERFORMATIVE MASCULINITY HIDES A DELICATE SADNESS HE HAS NEVER BEEN ABLE TO EXPRESS.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 07:15 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 12:42 |
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DUKE CANNON DROWNS HIS FEELINGS WITH MEDIA CONSUMPTION
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 07:21 |
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DUKE CANNON WANTS YOU PRECIOUS SNOWFLAKES TO KNOW HIS FUNKOPOP FIGURINES WILL ONLY INCREASE IN VALUE, ESPECIALLY THE LIMITED EDITION ONES FROM WAL*MART.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 07:54 |
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DUKE CANNON KNOWS THAT A REAL MAN DOESN'T GO IN BETWEEN HIS CHEEKS OR SPREAD THEM OPEN FOR ANYTHING. MEN DO NOT SPREAD THEIR CHEEKS TO WIPE OR CLEAN... NOTHING GOES BETWEEN THEM.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 08:20 |
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*Duke Cannon kicks the door in* DUKE CANNON IS INVOLVED IN A BITTER TRADEMARK DISPUTE WITH DUKE KANNON *finger guns, hip thrusts*
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 08:30 |
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DUKE CANNON JUST WANTS YOU TO KNOW IT'S NOT GAY AS LONG AS YOU THINK IT'S REALLY A WOMAN, AND BESIDES, HANSON WAS A PRETTY GOOD GROUP FOR ITS TIME.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 08:39 |
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DUKE CANNON DOESNT TALK TO HIS SON ANY MORE HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:09 |
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ALTHOUGH DUKE CANNON IS FICTIONAL AND WAS CREATED BY A BUNCH OF LATTE SIPPING YUPPIE HIPSTERS IN MARKETING, HE IS STILL MORE OF A MAN THAN YOU WILL EVER BE.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:12 |
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DUKE CANNON DOESN'T SEE COLOR, AND HE HAD TO PULL HIMSELF UP BY HIS BOOTSTRAPS AND NOBODY EVER HANDED HIM ANYTHING SO WHY DO WE NEED AFFIRMATIVE ACTION ANYMORE?
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:16 |
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DUKE CANNON HAS NEVER EJACULATED IN HIS LIFE. HE HAS TAKEN MANY WOMEN, BUT HE DENIES THEM HIS ESSENCE.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:16 |
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DUKE CANNON SMELLS BURNT TOAST
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:29 |
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THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH DUKE CANNON'S EYESIGHT AND REFLEXES. STOP TELLING DUKE CANNON HE SHOULD GIVE UP DRIVING.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:39 |
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DUKE CANNON INSISTS THAT TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A MADE UP THING LIKE A LEPRECHAUN OR A CLITORIS. THE FACT THAT SEEING DUKE HOWITZERS SUPERIOR UNIT DROVE DUKE CANNON TO ANGRILY PUNCH HOLES IN DRYWALL AND ACCUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND OF CHEATING IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTAL.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:44 |
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DUKE CANNON EATS rear end ON THE FIRST DATE
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:47 |
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DUKE CANNON KNEW JACK KENNEDY. AND YOU'RE NO JACK KENNEDY.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:52 |
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DUKE CANNON DOESN'T BELIEVE SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING IS A VALID CAREER CHOICE, GET A REAL JOB!
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 09:54 |
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DUKE CANNON IS NOT RACIST, BUT ...
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 10:01 |
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DUKE CANNON HAS A KEEN FINANCIAL MIND AND IS ALWAYS ON THE CUTTING EDGE, WHICH IS WHY HE WENT ALL IN ON BITCOIN.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 10:08 |
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ChickenOfTomorrow posted:DUKE CANNON SMELLS BURNT TOAST Best one yet
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 10:10 |
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DUKE CANNON SUPER GENIUS IMPRESSING EVERYONE AT THE BAR WITH DETAILS OF HIS FLAWLESS AND CUNNING SCHEME: DUKE CANNON AND DUKE CANNON'S BUDDY (NO HOMO) WILL MURDER EACH OTHER'S BITCH EX-WIVES, MAKING SURE THAT THEY ARE PROVABLY OUT OF TOWN AT THE TIME THEIR OWN BITCH EX-WIFE IS MURDERED.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 10:50 |
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DUKE CANNON WISHES THERE WERE BETTER MALE ROLE MODELS ON TV. DUKE CANNON COULD TEACH THAT NANCY-BOY RON SWANSON A THING OR TWO ABOUT CARPENTRY. DUKE CANNON ONLY HAS SEVEN FINGERS BECAUSE DUKE CANNON ISN’T AFRAID TO WORK WITH HIS HANDS. DUKE CANNON BELIEVES IN THE REDEEMING POWER OF HARD WORK. DUKE TELLS THIS TO HIS EMPLOYEES VIA MEGAPHONE AS HE SPEEDS ACROSS THE FACTORY FLOOR IN HIS CUSTOMIZED GOLF CART.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 10:53 |
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DUKE CANNON BELIEVES THAT SKILL AND WORK ETHICS ARE NOT TABOO.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 11:07 |
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DUKE CANNON BOUGHT A HOUSE FOR SEVENTY GRAND AND PAID FOR THE MORTGAGE AND COLLEGE ($200 A GODDAMN SEMESTER CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!) ON A PART TIME JOB. DUKE CANNON EATS AT CRACKER BARREL. CAN YOU BELIEVE YOU GET ALL THAT FOOD FOR ONLY THIRTEEN DOLLARS WITH THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL?
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 12:52 |
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DUKE CANNON IS MERELY TRAVELLING AND DOES NOT WISH TO CREATE JOINDER!
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 14:19 |
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DUKE CANNON GOT HIS GRANDSON TO TEACH HIM HOW TO READ 4CHAN AFTER HEARING ABOUT QANON ON INFOWARS
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 14:25 |
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DUKE CANNON WILL MAKE MEXICO PAY FOR THE WALL.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 14:53 |
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DUKE CANON DOZEN KNOW HOW TOO TURN OF AUTOEROTIC ASPHXIATION CORRECT ON THIS STUPID PHALLUS.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 15:00 |
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no joke, though, DUKE CANNON BLOODY KNUCKLES hand cream is legit. whips Working Hands' rear end imo
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 15:00 |
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DUKE CANNON ALWAYS GETS A SENIOR COFFEE AT MCDONALDS AT 10:30 AFTER CHURCH AND EXPECTS THE GODLESS KID BEHIND THE COUNTER TO RECOGNIZE HIM AND GET IT READY WHEN HE WALKS IN THE DOOR.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 15:17 |
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DUKE CANNON WONDERS WHY HE RECEIVES SO MANY EXPLICIT FAN LETTERS FROM GAY MEN HE DOESN'T KNOW. DUKE CANNON GOOGLES HIS OWN NAME, DUKE CANNON IS SHOCKED BY WHAT HE SEES. SHOCKED AND AROUSED, BY GOD THOSE VIDEOS AWAKENED SOMETHING IN DUKE CANNON. DUKE CANNON CHECKS THROUGH THE LETTERS TO SEE IF ANY OF THOSE NANCY BOYS LEFT A RETURN ADDRESS.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 15:30 |
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DUKE CANNON WAS CURED OF HIS HOMOSEXUALITY LONG AGO THROUGH PRAYER AND THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. DUKE CANNON WAS ONLY WORKING THE GLORY HOLES AT THE PUBLIC TRUCK STOP BATHROOM IN ORDER TO TRY TO SAVE THOSE POOR BOYS SOULS, YOUR HONOR.
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 16:05 |
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DUKE CANNON SHIITTED ON HIS BUT AND ON HIS OWN BALLS DUKE CANNON LIKED IT
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 16:08 |
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:DUKE CANNON SHIITTED ON HIS BUT AND ON HIS OWN BALLS DUKE CANNON LIKED IT DUKE CANNON PISSES INTO HIS OWN MOUTH REGULARLY. HE STARTED DOING IT TO SHOW AUSTRALIA WHO'S BOSS BUT NOW HE ENJOYS THE RITUAL FOR ITS OWN SAKE. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bn5de4/pissing-mouth-australia-skaters-troy-weston
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 16:14 |
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DUKE CANNON DEMANDS AN EXTRA HOUR IN THE BALL PIT
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 16:17 |
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DUKE CANNON HAS A MUSTACHE BUT NOT THE GAY KIND DEFINITELY NOT GAY
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 16:58 |
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DUKE "UP YOUR rear end" CANNON
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 17:19 |
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Jesustheastronaut! posted:DUKE "UP YOUR rear end" CANNON I thought you're supposed to dook out your rear end
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 17:20 |
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DUKE CANNON DOESN'T SLEEP. HE WAITS
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 17:31 |
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WHEN DUKE CANNON DOES PUSHUPS HE'S ACTUALLY PUSHING THE EARTH DOWN
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 17:31 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 12:42 |
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DUKE CANNON HAS BEEN TO MARS, THAT'S WHY THERE IS NO LIFE THERE
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# ? Feb 17, 2019 17:32 |