Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

DUKE CANNON'S PERFORMATIVE MASCULINITY HIDES A DELICATE SADNESS HE HAS NEVER BEEN ABLE TO EXPRESS.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

DUKE CANNON DROWNS HIS FEELINGS WITH MEDIA CONSUMPTION

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
DUKE CANNON WANTS YOU PRECIOUS SNOWFLAKES TO KNOW HIS FUNKOPOP FIGURINES WILL ONLY INCREASE IN VALUE, ESPECIALLY THE LIMITED EDITION ONES FROM WAL*MART.

great big cardboard tube
Sep 3, 2003


DUKE CANNON KNOWS THAT A REAL MAN DOESN'T GO IN BETWEEN HIS CHEEKS OR SPREAD THEM OPEN FOR ANYTHING. MEN DO NOT SPREAD THEIR CHEEKS TO WIPE OR CLEAN... NOTHING GOES BETWEEN THEM.

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

*Duke Cannon kicks the door in*

DUKE CANNON IS INVOLVED IN A BITTER TRADEMARK DISPUTE WITH DUKE KANNON

*finger guns, hip thrusts*

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
DUKE CANNON JUST WANTS YOU TO KNOW IT'S NOT GAY AS LONG AS YOU THINK IT'S REALLY A WOMAN, AND BESIDES, HANSON WAS A PRETTY GOOD GROUP FOR ITS TIME.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

DUKE CANNON DOESNT TALK TO HIS SON ANY MORE

HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





ALTHOUGH DUKE CANNON IS FICTIONAL AND WAS CREATED BY A BUNCH OF LATTE SIPPING YUPPIE HIPSTERS IN MARKETING, HE IS STILL MORE OF A MAN THAN YOU WILL EVER BE.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



DUKE CANNON DOESN'T SEE COLOR, AND HE HAD TO PULL HIMSELF UP BY HIS BOOTSTRAPS AND NOBODY EVER HANDED HIM ANYTHING SO WHY DO WE NEED AFFIRMATIVE ACTION ANYMORE?

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
DUKE CANNON HAS NEVER EJACULATED IN HIS LIFE. HE HAS TAKEN MANY WOMEN, BUT HE DENIES THEM HIS ESSENCE.

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

DUKE CANNON SMELLS BURNT TOAST

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH DUKE CANNON'S EYESIGHT AND REFLEXES. STOP TELLING DUKE CANNON HE SHOULD GIVE UP DRIVING.

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬
DUKE CANNON INSISTS THAT TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A MADE UP THING LIKE A LEPRECHAUN OR A CLITORIS. THE FACT THAT SEEING DUKE HOWITZERS SUPERIOR UNIT DROVE DUKE CANNON TO ANGRILY PUNCH HOLES IN DRYWALL AND ACCUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND OF CHEATING IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTAL.

jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong
DUKE CANNON EATS rear end ON THE FIRST DATE

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



DUKE CANNON KNEW JACK KENNEDY. AND YOU'RE NO JACK KENNEDY.

Wifi Toilet
Oct 1, 2004

Toilet Rascal
DUKE CANNON DOESN'T BELIEVE SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING IS A VALID CAREER CHOICE, GET A REAL JOB!

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

DUKE CANNON IS NOT RACIST, BUT ...

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



DUKE CANNON HAS A KEEN FINANCIAL MIND AND IS ALWAYS ON THE CUTTING EDGE, WHICH IS WHY HE WENT ALL IN ON BITCOIN.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

DUKE CANNON SMELLS BURNT TOAST

Best one yet

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

DUKE CANNON SUPER GENIUS IMPRESSING EVERYONE AT THE BAR WITH DETAILS OF HIS FLAWLESS AND CUNNING SCHEME: DUKE CANNON AND DUKE CANNON'S BUDDY (NO HOMO) WILL MURDER EACH OTHER'S BITCH EX-WIVES, MAKING SURE THAT THEY ARE PROVABLY OUT OF TOWN AT THE TIME THEIR OWN BITCH EX-WIFE IS MURDERED.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

by Fluffdaddy
DUKE CANNON WISHES THERE WERE BETTER MALE ROLE MODELS ON TV. DUKE CANNON COULD TEACH THAT NANCY-BOY RON SWANSON A THING OR TWO ABOUT CARPENTRY. DUKE CANNON ONLY HAS SEVEN FINGERS BECAUSE DUKE CANNON ISN’T AFRAID TO WORK WITH HIS HANDS.

DUKE CANNON BELIEVES IN THE REDEEMING POWER OF HARD WORK. DUKE TELLS THIS TO HIS EMPLOYEES VIA MEGAPHONE AS HE SPEEDS ACROSS THE FACTORY FLOOR IN HIS CUSTOMIZED GOLF CART.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.
DUKE CANNON BELIEVES THAT SKILL AND WORK ETHICS ARE NOT TABOO.

Queen Combat
Dec 29, 2017

Lipstick Apathy
DUKE CANNON BOUGHT A HOUSE FOR SEVENTY GRAND AND PAID FOR THE MORTGAGE AND COLLEGE ($200 A GODDAMN SEMESTER CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!) ON A PART TIME JOB.

DUKE CANNON EATS AT CRACKER BARREL. CAN YOU BELIEVE YOU GET ALL THAT FOOD FOR ONLY THIRTEEN DOLLARS WITH THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL?

That strange guy
Dec 14, 2014

It's not strange if we never mention it again.
DUKE CANNON IS MERELY TRAVELLING AND DOES NOT WISH TO CREATE JOINDER!

Moon Slayer
Jun 19, 2007

DUKE CANNON GOT HIS GRANDSON TO TEACH HIM HOW TO READ 4CHAN AFTER HEARING ABOUT QANON ON INFOWARS

sudonim
Oct 6, 2005
DUKE CANNON WILL MAKE MEXICO PAY FOR THE WALL.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
DUKE CANON DOZEN KNOW HOW TOO TURN OF AUTOEROTIC ASPHXIATION CORRECT ON THIS STUPID PHALLUS.

olives black
Nov 24, 2017


LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.
no joke, though, DUKE CANNON BLOODY KNUCKLES hand cream is legit. whips Working Hands' rear end imo

Moon Slayer
Jun 19, 2007

DUKE CANNON ALWAYS GETS A SENIOR COFFEE AT MCDONALDS AT 10:30 AFTER CHURCH AND EXPECTS THE GODLESS KID BEHIND THE COUNTER TO RECOGNIZE HIM AND GET IT READY WHEN HE WALKS IN THE DOOR.

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
DUKE CANNON WONDERS WHY HE RECEIVES SO MANY EXPLICIT FAN LETTERS FROM GAY MEN HE DOESN'T KNOW.

DUKE CANNON GOOGLES HIS OWN NAME, DUKE CANNON IS SHOCKED BY WHAT HE SEES. SHOCKED AND AROUSED, BY GOD THOSE VIDEOS AWAKENED SOMETHING IN DUKE CANNON.

DUKE CANNON CHECKS THROUGH THE LETTERS TO SEE IF ANY OF THOSE NANCY BOYS LEFT A RETURN ADDRESS.

dsf
Jul 1, 2004
DUKE CANNON WAS CURED OF HIS HOMOSEXUALITY LONG AGO THROUGH PRAYER AND THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.

DUKE CANNON WAS ONLY WORKING THE GLORY HOLES AT THE PUBLIC TRUCK STOP BATHROOM IN ORDER TO TRY TO SAVE THOSE POOR BOYS SOULS, YOUR HONOR.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
DUKE CANNON SHIITTED ON HIS BUT AND ON HIS OWN BALLS DUKE CANNON LIKED IT

sudonim
Oct 6, 2005

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

DUKE CANNON SHIITTED ON HIS BUT AND ON HIS OWN BALLS DUKE CANNON LIKED IT

DUKE CANNON PISSES INTO HIS OWN MOUTH REGULARLY. HE STARTED DOING IT TO SHOW AUSTRALIA WHO'S BOSS BUT NOW HE ENJOYS THE RITUAL FOR ITS OWN SAKE.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bn5de4/pissing-mouth-australia-skaters-troy-weston

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
DUKE CANNON DEMANDS AN EXTRA HOUR IN THE BALL PIT

Duke Pukem
Oct 23, 2010

Three cheers for dark beer!


DUKE CANNON HAS A MUSTACHE BUT NOT THE GAY KIND

DEFINITELY NOT GAY

Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy
DUKE "UP YOUR rear end" CANNON

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Jesustheastronaut! posted:

DUKE "UP YOUR rear end" CANNON

I thought you're supposed to dook out your rear end

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

DUKE CANNON DOESN'T SLEEP. HE WAITS

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

WHEN DUKE CANNON DOES PUSHUPS HE'S ACTUALLY PUSHING THE EARTH DOWN

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

DUKE CANNON HAS BEEN TO MARS, THAT'S WHY THERE IS NO LIFE THERE

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply