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 DUKE CANNON ISN’T FOR EVERYONE. AND QUITE FRANKLY, HE PREFERS IT THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, DUKE CANNON DOESN’T DINE WITH VEGANS AND HE COULDN'T GIVE A drat ABOUT YOUR NEW IPAD. DUKE CANNON COMES FROM A DIFFERENT ERA--AN ERA WHEN MEN HAD A GREATER PURPOSE THAN BUILDING SPREADSHEETS AND SPENDING THEIR SATURDAYS AT BANANA REPUBLIC. IN DUKE’S TIME, MEN PURSUED MEANINGFUL ENDEAVORS. THEY WORKED WITH THEIR HANDS. THEY TOOK PRIDE IN THE THINGS THEY BUILT, NOT THE THINGS THEY BOUGHT. AND THE MINDSET WAS SIMPLE: MEN WANTED TO WIN, NOT FIND THE "WIN-WIN". AND THEN THE WHOLE METROSEXUAL TREND CAME AND SCREWED MEN UP EVEN WORSE. NOW EXISTS A GENERATION OF MEN WHO HAVE SPENT MORE TIME IN A POTTERY BARN STORE THAN A HARDWARE STORE. HELL NO. NEEDLESS TO SAY, THE DUKE CANNON SUPPLY COMPANY IS NOT A BIG FAN OF THIS TREND. IT’S TIME FOR MAN TO DEVOLVE, NOT EVOLVE.
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Feb 17, 2019 04:58
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DUKE CANNON DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY CAN SAY THAT WORD BUT HE CAN'T DUKE CANNON OWNS ALL 15 SEASONS OF NCIS ON DVD IN DUKE CANNON'S TIME A MAN'S FAMILY DIDN'T HOLD AN "INTERVENTION" FOR HIS "RAGING ALCOHOLISM," THEY JUST ACCEPTED IT DUKE CANNON'S GRANDCHILDREN DON'T WANT HIM TO COME TO THANKSGIVING ANYMORE
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Feb 17, 2019 04:59
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I’m very confused.
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Feb 17, 2019 05:02
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Im DOOK CANNON
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Feb 17, 2019 05:04
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IMA GONNA poo poo ON YOUR FACW BITCH
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Feb 17, 2019 05:04
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DUKE CANNON EASILY POSTS ON THE FIRST PAGE DUKE CANNON ISN'T RACIST, BUT. DUKE CANNON THINKS UNISEX BATHROOMS ARE FOR WEIRDOS AND MARIJUANA IS FOR JAZZ MUSICIANS
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Feb 17, 2019 05:05
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Tappa tappa/ Hold on. Duck!
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Feb 17, 2019 05:06
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DUKE CANNON WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT HE IS NOT A RACIST DUKE CANNON WOULD NOW LIKE TO DISCUSS THE KINDS OF PEOPLE HE HAS NOTICED MOVING INTO HIS NEIGHBORHOOD LATELY
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Feb 17, 2019 05:06
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DUKE CANNON IS SCARED ALL OF THE TIME BUT DUKE CANNON KNOWS ITS NOT MANLY TO ADMIT TO THAT SO DUKE CANNON IS GOING TO POST HIS WAY THROUGH IT
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Feb 17, 2019 05:06
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MY MASCULINITY ISN'T FRAGILE! YOUR MASCULINITY IS FRAGILE! YOURS!
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Feb 17, 2019 05:07
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DOOK CANNON SOLID ANAL LUBE FOR MEN mmm smells like accomplishment
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Feb 17, 2019 05:08
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DUKE CANNON NEVER NEEDED NO EAR PROTECTION AT THE PLANT AND THINKS OSHA SHOULD MIND ITS OWN BUSINESS NOW WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER THAT GODDAMN PHONE
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Feb 17, 2019 05:10
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DUKEM' RIGHT IN THE drat CANON. DUKE CANNON PUNCHES DICKS LIKE A REAL MAN!
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Feb 17, 2019 05:11
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OH YOU BETTER BELIEVE DUKE CANNON'S GOT A PUNISHER SKULL AND AMERICAN FLAG WITH ONE BLUE STRIPE ON THE BACK OF HIS TRUCK
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Feb 17, 2019 05:13
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DUKE CANNON: NEW SCENT "SEAWARD"
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Feb 17, 2019 05:13
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DUKE CANNON SOLID COLOGNE VARIETIES: SEAWARD STOOP AND BENCH DUN HORN SLOOP
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Feb 17, 2019 05:18
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DUKE CANNON KNOWS THAT TURN SIGNALS ARE FOR YANKEES
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Feb 17, 2019 05:19
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DUKE CANNON RESPECTS WOMEN BUT THEY REALLY AREN'T GOOD DRIVERS. DUKE CANNON TAKES HIS BEARD SERIOUSLY. DUKE CANNON HAS GAY FRIENDS BUT MAKES SURE TO TELL THEM HE WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM. A LOT.
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Feb 17, 2019 05:19
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Feels like we should probably start at the start. DUKE CANNON HAS SOFT LIPS 
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Feb 17, 2019 05:21
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DON'T TALK TO DUKE CANNON ABOUT "THE JOB MARKET," ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET A JOB IS PUT ON A NICE SUIT, ASK TO SEE THE HIRING MANAGER, LOOK HIM SQUARE IN THE EYE, AND GIVE HIM A FIRM HANDSHAKE. THAT'S HOW DUKE CANNON DID IT AND WHEN HE WAS YOUR AGE HE WAS MARRIED WITH TWO KIDS, A CAR, AND A HOUSE. GOD drat YOUR WHOLE GENERATION IS LAZY.
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Feb 17, 2019 05:23
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DUKE CANNON DON'T CARE THAT HE'S STUCK IN HIS BUTTON-DOWN, PLASTIC FANTASTIC MADISON AVENUE SCENE. JOE WILLIE NAMATH'S UNTAMED SIDEBURNS MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A GIRL. NOW JOHNNY UNITAS, THERE'S A HAIRCUT YOU COULD SET YOUR WATCH TO.
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Feb 17, 2019 05:23
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I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE IT'S DUKE CANNON NOT DUDE CANNON DO NOT MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN
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Feb 17, 2019 05:28
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DUKE CANNON DRIVES AN AMERICAN CAR. MADE IN AMERICA. BY AMERICANS. BECAUSE HE IS AN AMERICAN. DUKE CANNON WISHES HE DIDN'T HAVE TO USE THE METRIC SYSTEM AT ALL. DUKE CANNON IS NOT AFRAID OF AIRPLANES HE JUST GETS MOTION SICKNESS AND EVERYONE IS IN TOO MUCH OF A HURRY NOWADAYS.
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Feb 17, 2019 05:29
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DUKE CANNON HAD TO STOCK UP ON NORMAL LIGHT BULBS BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT WANTS TO MAKE HIM USE THOSE WEIRD TWISTY ONES
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Feb 17, 2019 05:33
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if im duke cannnon can i still be married to mariah careey
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Feb 17, 2019 05:33
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i saw these at the store yesterday and had a laugh i bought baby soap instead because i have the sensitive unmanly skin of a baby
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Feb 17, 2019 05:41
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DUKE CANNON URGES YOU TO DEMONSTRATE YOUR MANLY BLUE COLLAR INCOME AND BUY MY $25 BAR OF SOAP. GURENTEED WONT EVEN MAKE YOUR BALLS TINGLE, UNLESS YOU ARE INTO THAT KIND OF THING YOU PUSSY COMMUNIST gently caress.
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Feb 17, 2019 05:45
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DUKE CANNON BOUGHT AN EMERGENCY GENERATOR AND HAS AN UNDERGROUND FUEL TANK FOR IT THAT HE KEEPS TOPPED OFF, BECAUSE HE IS 100% READY FOR WHEN THE poo poo HITS THE FAN
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Feb 17, 2019 05:47
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I POOP
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Feb 17, 2019 05:50
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DUKE CANNON KNOWS HE'S MORE SOPHISTICATED THAN THOSE PLEBES WHO WEAR AXE BODY SPRAY HIS MATH CLASS STINKS OF IT
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Feb 17, 2019 05:51
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COUNT HOWITZER
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Feb 17, 2019 05:53
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ChickenOfTomorrow posted:DUKE CANNON BOUGHT AN EMERGENCY GENERATOR AND HAS AN UNDERGROUND FUEL TANK FOR IT THAT HE KEEPS TOPPED OFF, BECAUSE HE IS 100% READY FOR WHEN THE poo poo HITS THE FAN DUKE CANNON FANTASIZES ABOUT THE DAY SOCIETY COLLAPSES AND HE GETS TO GUN DOWN THE "URBAN FERALS" THAT'LL COME SWARMING OUT OF THE CITIES.
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Feb 17, 2019 05:56
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DUKE CANNON THINKS IT'S drat FINE TO RUN A JOKE THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY FOR A SINGLE PAGE IN PYF INTO THE GROUND. DUKE CANNON ALSO LOVES FAMILY GUY. THAT GAY BABY IS HILARIOUS AND THOSE WOMEN NEED TO SHUT THEIR MOUTHS AND GROW THICKER SKINS, THE GODDAMN SNOWFLAKES. LEEROY JENKINS!
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Feb 17, 2019 05:58
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I'm Duke Cannon and I approve this bar soap.
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Feb 17, 2019 06:07
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Screaming Idiot posted:DUKE CANNON THINKS IT'S drat FINE TO RUN A JOKE THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY FOR A SINGLE PAGE IN PYF INTO THE GROUND. DUKE CANNON FINDS THIS JUST TOO META TO PROPERLY COMPREHEND.
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Feb 17, 2019 06:39
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DUKE CANNON KNOWS IT ISN'T GAY WHEN FOOTBALL PLAYERS PLAY A LITTLE CELEBRATORY GRAB rear end, IT'S JUST MEN BEING MEN TOGETHER, LIKE THE GLADIATORS USED TO DO
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Feb 17, 2019 06:45
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Duke cannon sounds like urban dictionary slang for rectum/anus.
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Feb 17, 2019 06:48
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DUKE CANNON KNOWS DEEP IN HIS HEART THAT A MUSLIM SHOUTING "ALLAHU AKBAR" AT A GAME-ENDING INTERCEPTION IS EVIL INCARNATE BUT SHOUTING "JESUS CHRIST" WHILE WATCHING THE SAME PLAY IS AS AMERICAN AS APPLE PIE. DUKE CANNON KNOWS NO MUSLIM HAS EVER EVEN TRIED APPLE PIE. DUKE CANNON DOESN'T CARE WHERE SOME OF THOSE SPICES COME FROM.
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Feb 17, 2019 07:00
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DUKE CANNON LIVES WITH HORROR EVERY DAY, AND SOMETIMES SHE LETS HIM GOLF. HAHA GET IT, DUKE CANNON'S WIFE IS HORRIBLE. WELL SHE WAS. UNTIL SHE DIVORCED HIM.
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Feb 17, 2019 07:01
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DUKE CANNON HAS THREE CHILDREN HE RAISED RIGHT, WITH A STERN HAND AND SENSIBLE BOUNDARIES. DUKE CANNON DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY NONE OF THOSE UNGRATEFUL BRATS EVER CALL DUKE CANNON. DUKE CANNON IS SADDENED THAT THE CHILDREN HE WORKED SO HARD TO RAISE HAVE DECIDED TO GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO HURT DUKE CANNON FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. DUKE DECIDES TO PUT HIS DAUGHTER ON AUTO-DIAL AND LET THE PHONE RING ALL DAY IF HE HAS TO, BECAUSE DUKE CANNON DESERVES AN EXPLANATION! DUKE CANNON IS TEMPORARILY BETWEEN JOBS. DUKE CANNON REMEMBERS WHEN HAVING THREE MARTINIS AT LUNCH THEN SMACKING YOUR ASSISTANT ON HER rear end WAS NOT ONLY ACCEPTED BUT EXPECTED. THAT'S HOW REAL BUSINESS GETS DONE, AND DUKE ISN'T GOING TO KOWTOW TO THOSE NAMBY-PAMBY HR FRUITS. DUKE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE FRIES WITH THAT.
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Feb 17, 2019 07:11
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