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Daikatana Ritsu
Aug 1, 2008



They approached me as I was exiting GameStop. "What's up this is discord country" one them yelled as he swung an original Xbox controller like a flail, connecting to my face and shattering my teeth instantly. The other one came around and starting stomping on me while making the noise sound louder by using his other foot connecting with the ground for effect. "What's the matter, you don't like having the same conversation 4 or 5 times in a row, bitch!?" He then took down my wranglers and laughed at my balls. "Looks like Master Roshi in 4k!" as they held up their sleek brand new Microsoft Surfaces to take crisp, clean images of their work.

I blacked out for a second. I only came to as they were splashing Guava Mango Monster in my face. There was a LAN cable around my neck. Then the fatter one uttered a phrase that will stick with me forever: "Bring it in guys!!!" At least 15 bodybuilders emerged carrying the original Xbox console. They heaved it up and dropped it on me, completely crushing my entire body effortlessly. My legs sticking out like the witch from The Wizard of Oz.

Luckily my homeboy had just paid $3.99 for a premium slurp juice, or I wouldn't be alive to tell the tale.

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Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



Lmfao

extremebuff
Jun 20, 2010


lmfao

Lumpy the Cook
Feb 4, 2011


This is just horrible. I thought we were long past the Sega vs Nintendo days, but it seems that we never even left them at all. These vicious attacks can’t, and won’t be tolerated in the gaming community any longer. We ALL stand with you.

Lumpy the Cook
Feb 4, 2011


Just a heads up: the IKs and mods WILL be monitoring this discussion closely. Anyone attempting to blame or shame victims of console violence, or shed doubt on Synthy’s story because they “just wanna ask questions!!!” WILL be punished accordingly.

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007



i have a sneaking suspicion who these maniacs are..

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

It's not a dream, or a lie.
I know my sister is alive out there.


lmao

Chuck Buried Treasure
Dec 27, 2010



Lmfao

mysterious loyall X
Jul 8, 2003



Lol

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002



Lol

Scrub-Niggurath
Nov 27, 2007



lol

Hizke
Feb 14, 2010


Daikatana Ritsu posted:

They approached me as I was exiting GameStop. "What's up this is discord country" one them yelled as he swung an original Xbox controller like a flail, connecting to my face and shattering my teeth instantly. The other one came around and starting stomping on me while making the noise sound louder by using his other foot connecting with the ground for effect. "What's the matter, you don't like having the same conversation 4 or 5 times in a row, bitch!?" He then took down my wranglers and laughed at my balls. "Looks like Master Roshi in 4k!" as they held up their sleek brand new Microsoft Surfaces to take crisp, clean images of their work.

I blacked out for a second. I only came to as they were splashing Guava Mango Monster in my face. There was a LAN cable around my neck. Then the fatter one uttered a phrase that will stick with me forever: "Bring it in guys!!!" At least 15 bodybuilders emerged carrying the original Xbox console. They heaved it up and dropped it on me, completely crushing my entire body effortlessly. My legs sticking out like the witch from The Wizard of Oz.

Luckily my homeboy had just paid $3.99 for a premium slurp juice, or I wouldn't be alive to tell the tale.


Lumpy the Cook posted:

Just a heads up: the IKs and mods WILL be monitoring this discussion closely. Anyone attempting to blame or shame victims of console violence, or shed doubt on Synthy’s story because they “just wanna ask questions!!!” WILL be punished accordingly.

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002



Woke up with a backwards D carved on my face

extremebuff
Jun 20, 2010


Pablo Nergigante posted:

Woke up with a backwards D carved on my face

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



The chime of a text message and the robotic drone of VOIP are forever poisoned to me. “Wubba lubba ding dong.” I shutter at the syllables now.

Chuck Buried Treasure
Dec 27, 2010



Pablo Nergigante posted:

Woke up with a backwards D carved on my face

tao of lmao
Oct 9, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!


Obvious poo poo that didn’t happen dot txt. No one is strong enough to lift an original xbox controller, let alone wield it.

In Training
Jun 28, 2008



Lmao

ol yeller
Feb 20, 2015


lmfao

ol yeller
Feb 20, 2015


Some sick gently caress has been spamming my inbox with Henny Youngman routines and the subject line "here you go, cuck" and the police are doing NOTHING

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011


tao of lmao posted:

Obvious poo poo that didn’t happen dot txt. No one is strong enough to lift an original xbox controller, let alone wield it.

VWVWV
Jan 19, 2010



Suspects were last seen puttering down the road in dxracers with $1000+ force feedback steering wheels

tyler
Jun 2, 2014



Lmao

Spoderman
Aug 2, 2004



Pablo Nergigante posted:

Woke up with a backwards D carved on my face

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013


goferchan
Feb 8, 2004




Omg

American McGay
Feb 28, 2010



lmfao @ all

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

You can't take it with you, you know.


"What are you doing?" I moaned, "The X Box One isn't even... " but my words were cut off as two of them pried open my mouth, painfully.

"It's pretty good, RAM-wise, actually!" their leader smirked, as he forcefully shoved the console down my throat.

Eugene V. Dubstep
Oct 4, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 43 hours!


Bicyclops posted:

"What are you doing?" I moaned, "The X Box One isn't even... " but my words were cut off as two of them pried open my mouth, painfully.

"It's pretty good, RAM-wise, actually!" their leader smirked, as he forcefully shoved the console down my throat.

ol yeller
Feb 20, 2015


woke up at noon and saw that my alarm clock was hacked no matter what firmware im on

American McGay
Feb 28, 2010



The "secretly modded my brother's NES sound chip while he was walking his dog" is the most deviant and disgusting post ever in the history of these forums, and that's including Tails Butthole Guy and the old YCS guy who had a giantism fetish.

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002



Well, you woke up this morning, got yourself a GunCon.

mysterious loyall X
Jul 8, 2003



American McGay posted:

The "secretly modded my brother's NES sound chip while he was walking his dog" is the most deviant and disgusting post ever in the history of these forums, and that's including Tails Butthole Guy and the old YCS guy who had a giantism fetish.

Hurr lets call the legendary game developer of hit fighting game Gigamaidens, RancidpsychoJosh, a "guy" as if we could apply such labels to a collosuss who dwarfs mere mortals with his girth and genius

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



mysterious loyall X posted:

Hurr lets call the legendary game developer of hit fighting game Gigamaidens, RancidpsychoJosh, a "guy" as if we could apply such labels to a collosuss who dwarfs mere mortals with his girth and genius

American McGay
Feb 28, 2010



His name was Cabbagepots actually I remembered it as I was typing the post but I didn't figure anyone else would know who he was.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011



American McGay posted:

His name was Cabbagepots actually I remembered it as I was typing the post but I didn't figure anyone else would know who he was.
One of the first things I did when I modded Games was ban that guy.

In Training
Jun 28, 2008



American McGay posted:

His name was Cabbagepots actually I remembered it as I was typing the post but I didn't figure anyone else would know who he was.

It's RancidPsychoJosh you maroon

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



American McGay posted:

His name was Cabbagepots actually I remembered it as I was typing the post but I didn't figure anyone else would know who he was.

He was steam messaging me about the anime girl in my avatar and congratulating my posting months before I saw him post himself. RIP cabbage pots. Praise be.

In Training
Jun 28, 2008



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afBo33SoWOc Check out the description lmfoa.

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American McGay
Feb 28, 2010



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