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Cool your jets Serpico. You know you sped to catch up to me, right?
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Feb 19, 2019 19:21
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Just to be clear I am a sovereign citizen and therefore you cannot arrest me for human trafficking.
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Feb 19, 2019 19:23
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oh god. you got me. i'll go quietly. at least it's all finally over.
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Feb 19, 2019 19:25
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This thread reminded me of a Sarah Silverman joke that went like this. Do you know why I pulled you over? Because you got Cs in high school.
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Feb 19, 2019 19:33
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Are you saying "meow"???
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Feb 19, 2019 19:42
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Suck my dick, you fuckman.
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Feb 19, 2019 19:42
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Go invade poland you nazi prick
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Feb 19, 2019 19:45
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Sunswipe posted:Suck my dick, you fuckman. Tears come into the cop’s eyes as through trembling lips he says, “I thought you would never ask.” After a loving blowjob complete with cuddling he stands up and gives you a citation for speeding and arrests you for bribing him. Then he takes you to his sex dungeon. You are never heard from again.
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Feb 19, 2019 19:45
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football is for morons
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Feb 19, 2019 19:50
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"SUCK MY DICK YOU FUCKMAN"
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Feb 19, 2019 19:52
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listen thoughtfully and then repeat everything the cop says back to him in a silly voice
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Feb 19, 2019 19:54
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"Do you know how fast you were going?" "Hey, your wife didn't have any complaints!"
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Feb 19, 2019 19:56
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i had sex with your wife you gay homosexual
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Feb 19, 2019 19:58
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Look, I know she looks young, but she tells me she has the spirit of a 9000 year old dragon.
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Feb 19, 2019 20:01
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historically christians are the terrorists. america is a land of lies and that is all that you stand for
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Feb 19, 2019 20:05
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Soooo-eeee! Piggy Piggy oink oink oink I thought I smelled Bacon! Holy poo poo you’re fat, take it easy with the donuts there officer Porky! Nice gun... ...T!
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Feb 19, 2019 20:21
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"Hoh-lee poo poo! look ma they trained pigs to talk!"
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Feb 19, 2019 21:10
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DUKE CANNON THINKS YOU SHOULD LEAVE TAX-PAYING CITIZENS ALONE AND GO CATCH REAL CRIMINALS.
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Feb 19, 2019 21:17
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let's go double or quits- catch me a second time and i'll cop to being the barnaul maniac
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Feb 19, 2019 21:34
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i want to speak to your supervisor
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Feb 19, 2019 21:39
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Look, the Earth is travelling at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour around the sun, which itself is moving with the rest of the Milky Way at over a million miles an hour. So an extra hundred here or there is really just a rounding error.
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Feb 19, 2019 22:23
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i hope that radar gun gives you ball cancer
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Feb 19, 2019 22:47
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I'm high lol
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Feb 20, 2019 00:02
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That's definitely not a bomb on the backseat. And there's no nuclear material in the trunk. No, I'm not heading towards the Capitol, why do you ask?
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Feb 20, 2019 00:28
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Did you see that poo poo? You must've seen that poo poo. That was good poo poo!
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Feb 20, 2019 01:56
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how to not get your rear end kicked by the police https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0mtxXEGE8
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Feb 20, 2019 02:39
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Eat the eggs officer
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Feb 20, 2019 02:46
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"As a concept I hate the Police, they should have no authority over me But because i'm a pencil neck loving nerd I need your protection from the actual nasty people in the world."
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Feb 20, 2019 02:49
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I don't care if it's just a ticket I want to wear the handcuffs
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Feb 20, 2019 03:13
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I'm sorry, I don't speak Olice-pay Atin-lay.
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Feb 20, 2019 03:39
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What you say doesn't matter, it's all about what you shouldn't be, which is non-white.
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Feb 20, 2019 04:24
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I know my rights! I'm video taping you!, or the comedy answer spew some soverign citizen poo poo
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Feb 20, 2019 05:13
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Applewhite posted:Cop: License and registration, please lol
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Feb 20, 2019 05:19
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"First time speeder, long time driver. Do you know what the speed limit is around here? Thanks, I'll take my question off the air!" *peels out*
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Feb 20, 2019 05:19
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Yes officer, i have dead people in my trunk and several pounds of weed in the door panels. I'm not saying another word until my attorneys present. wasting cops time is a national pastime in America. The best part is i have it on tape why they pulled me over. "i pulled you over because, because, hang on a second" judge saw that on bodycam and threw the ticket out, also i don't like cops very much because they suck in general. they are military drop-outs who can't even tie their shoes.
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Feb 20, 2019 05:55
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Wahtcha doin' in my waters? I'm going to need to see your berth certificate.
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Feb 20, 2019 06:18
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You know they say the bodycam adds ten pounds... But like how many bodycams did you eat? Oink oink oink oink!
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Feb 20, 2019 07:10
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OMFG FURRY posted:"First time speeder, long time driver. Do you know what the speed limit is around here? Thanks, I'll take my question off the air!"
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Feb 20, 2019 07:13
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*my window rolls down to reveal the Count from Sesame Street* Ninety eight! Ninety eight miles per hour! *thunderclap* AH AH AH!
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Feb 20, 2019 07:15
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 07:22 |
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Asian American Cop: “License and registration, please.” Me, pulling at the corners of my eyes and affecting buck teeth: “oooh! Ricenshe and Legistrashen, light away, hororaberrr porice offiser!” Asian American Cop: -_-
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Feb 20, 2019 09:30
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