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Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

I have a sore throat and I am mucus-ing everywhere. My eyes are half closed and I feel like I have been run over by a bus filled with paraplegic children going to a petting zoo. What I want to know is which one of you did this? I know that viruses are a computer thing and by and large you are the only jackasses that I talk to with my computer. Ipso fatso one of you gave me a virus. Which is extremely hosed up and when I find out which one of you it was I will be reporting you the the highest authority, some mod or something, and I will make sure you are punished brutally since you are apparently such a callous and conniving person. Remorseless like some kind of sociopath.

If you want you can PM me (after buying me PM's) and apologize but until I receive this apology my investigation will continue. I will kick open doors of inquiry, I will open man-hole covers of obfuscation, I WILL find you. When I do don't expect any mercy. This is it. The last straw. I have been pushed to far and there is no more backing down. I am a loose cannon and there is no telling what I will do when I find out who did this.

And before you start in with some whiny "but computer viruses and viruses are not the same thing" bullshit let me just say this. YOU ARE A loving LIAR. THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF YOUTUBE VIDEOS FEATURING MEN IN HOODED SWEATSHIRTS AND SUNGLASSES THAT EXPLAIN HOW COMPUTERS AFFECT HUMAN HEALTH ALL THE TIME. IT IS A loving FACT and no amount of argument can convince me it's not.

In summation, I expect an apology. Then I expect you to be severely punished. Then I expect another apology and probably like some kind of "I'm sorry" dance or gymnastic floor routine.

Thank you.

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Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019




Heh, I'm still glad I did it.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
Take a good look in my manhole.

Sex Skeleton
Aug 16, 2018

For when lonely nights turn bonely
Sorry OP we were making out pretty hard last night and I didn't want to kill the mood by telling you I have tonsilar herpes.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
I’m da guy who got you sick in da op

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Nah, I only poison enemies of the Kremlin. They actually like you, op.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

You are all sick fucks and I am now petitioning mods to come and ban you and also take that jar of rainy day money you keep in your cupboard.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

if you didnt want to get sick you shouldn't have ate my rear end.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Hell Yeah posted:

if you didnt want to get sick you shouldn't have ate my rear end.

rear end eating is a sacred bond that you have sullied by not being open and honest about what might happen to me if I chowed your man box.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

what kind of rear end eater gets mad when they get sick off a bad piece of rear end.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Hell Yeah posted:

what kind of rear end eater gets mad when they get sick off a bad piece of rear end.

One that expects the best.

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

I used to get sick all the time but now that I exclusively phonepost I’ve been much healthier (it is impossible for me to gently caress and cum in my phone)

Halser
Aug 24, 2016
I told you to not stop drinking your essential oils

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
Everyone around this area including me has this weird lethargic floaty-head thing going around which makes me think chronic wasting disease finally jumped the deer-human barrier

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSv8ck8qUxc

Zombiepop
Mar 30, 2010

dads friend steve posted:

I used to get sick all the time but now that I exclusively phonepost I’ve been much healthier (it is impossible for me to gently caress and cum in my phone)

How did you gently caress your computer?? Asking for a friend.

ninjoatse.cx
Apr 9, 2005

Fun Shoe
LaP, stop posting here, you're gonna get the rest of us sick. Only post from home!

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





dads friend steve posted:

I used to get sick all the time but now that I exclusively phonepost I’ve been much healthier (it is impossible for me to gently caress and cum in my phone)

Look at this noob who’s never heard of iCum.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

UltraRed posted:

LaP, stop posting here, you're gonna get the rest of us sick. Only post from home!

Can I come to SA if I wear one of those paper masks like whats a doctor wears?

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
sorry for your weak immune system and overall bad genetic makeup OP

Katamari Democracy
Jan 19, 2010

Guess what! :love:
Guess what this is? :love:
A Post, Just for you! :love:
Wedge Regret
I've been sick for two weeks so it might have been me.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....


Rookie move. Should have started with “I’m not mad. I just want to know.” Then someone might have confessed.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Katamari Democracy posted:

I've been sick for two weeks so it might have been me.

YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU HAVE BEEN REPORTED. to the cdc

Xenocides posted:

Rookie move. Should have started with “I’m not mad. I just want to know.” Then someone might have confessed.

Why would I say I'm not mad when it is obvious that I am NOT mad.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
Feell better op im sorry

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Feell better op im sorry


It's like looking in a mirror.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy
Fuckers got me too. I spent the weekend terribly sick and I'm still shaking it off. Today was my first day at a new job and I spent a lot of it coughing and blowing my nose, thanks a lot assholes :mad:

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Your mistake was ever leaving your basement, OP.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

BigBadSteve posted:

Your mistake was ever leaving your basement, OP.

Charade I am.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

But I thought people wanted to go viral these days?

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

FoolyCharged posted:

But I thought people wanted to go viral these days?

:vince::vince::vince:

zenguitarman
Apr 6, 2009

Come on, lemme see ya shake your tail feather


I just got sick too, what the hell

Giraffe
Dec 12, 2005

Soiled Meat
If it turns out to be AIDS that's probably my fault. Sorry, everyone! :shobon:

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
I fly all the time in tiny sickness containment zones called areoplanes with people hacking up poo poo during the winter months. Eat more vegetables or something,op

jemand
Sep 19, 2018

I gave you bird flu, OP

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Burt Sexual posted:

I fly all the time in tiny sickness containment zones called areoplanes with people hacking up poo poo during the winter months. Eat more vegetables or something,op

More vegetables? MORE VEGETABLES!? MOOOOORRRRREEEEEEE VEGETABLES!!!??!!!!1!!???!!


good idea

Im Ready for DEATH
Oct 5, 2016

I'm the guy who comes to work deathly ill, because of the glories of capitalism, I won't get paid if I don't show up. Because you have to work in close quarters with me, you are guaranteed to get what I've got! Felicidades!!!!

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
let me know when the poo poo starts spraying out of you uncontrollably OP

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Chinatown posted:

let me know when the poo poo starts spraying out of you uncontrollably OP

Yeah right, like that's gonna happe....

brb

Katamari Democracy
Jan 19, 2010

Guess what! :love:
Guess what this is? :love:
A Post, Just for you! :love:
Wedge Regret

Literally A Person posted:

YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU HAVE BEEN REPORTED. to the cdc

MIGHT AS WELL, poo poo. I can not seem to shake this crap off.

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The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014

Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.
You are weak and you have a weak immune system OP.

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