ITT we're normal

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Bloodfart McCoy: Jul 20, 2007; That's a high quality avatar right there.

SleepySonata posted:

Tell that bitch to get something with a flared base when she takes you to the hospital.

The balls melted off in the dishwasher

# ? Mar 8, 2019 19:11

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# ? Apr 17, 2024 00:54

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

complains about spending too much time at work and not enough time with the wife and kids.

whole family spends evenings silently watching tv in separate rooms, occasionally visiting the kitchen at staggered intervals so nobody has to interact .

# ? Mar 8, 2019 19:33

Bloodfart McCoy: Jul 20, 2007; That's a high quality avatar right there.

kecske posted:

complains about spending too much time at work and not enough time with the wife and kids.

whole family spends evenings silently watching tv in separate rooms, occasionally visiting the kitchen at staggered intervals so nobody has to interact .

americandream.txt

# ? Mar 8, 2019 19:40

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Time with the family is just a polite way to say more personal / free time. You are far more likely to get a sympathetic ear saying that than "I don't have enough time to even watch a show on Netflix and drink a beer at the end of the day just work sleep work until the weekend".

# ? Mar 8, 2019 19:45

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

*only wears "cum slut" tshirt a few times a week so that people dont think its the only shirt i own*

# ? Mar 8, 2019 19:54

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Has a Paulo Coelho book proudly displayed, never read

# ? Mar 8, 2019 20:03

other people: Jun 27, 2004; Associate Christ

Enjoys diet coke.

Only ever uses unsalted butter, can't tell the difference.

Enjoys meeting new people.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 09:43

Rudeboy Detective: Apr 28, 2011

Dispenses spoo into bowl before eating.

Purchases rare Narn plant used in sacred ritual and doesn't smoke it in front of other ambassador.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 09:47

avshalemon: Jun 28, 2018

sports

# ? Mar 13, 2019 09:50

avshalemon: Jun 28, 2018

sprots

# ? Mar 13, 2019 09:50

other people: Jun 27, 2004; Associate Christ

Thinks going on a cruise is a nice vacation.

Enjoys David Sedaris.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 09:54

avshalemon: Jun 28, 2018

spooooots9p hey fella ytuou wanna spank my ball w your wooden implement. let gets drunk & hoot at each other

# ? Mar 13, 2019 09:56

staberind: Feb 20, 2008; but i dont wanna be a spaceship; Fun Shoe

I carefully adjust my tie in mirror before going to church, I feel the fleeting spirit of god while singing a hymn a little off key but its the feeling that counts, I have a little sweat on my upper lip.
I shake my pastors hand but dont recognise him, shrug and after putting a couple of dollars into the collection tray I leave the small town church, the evening breeze carries the scent of cut grass and burning flesh.
with nothing in my mind I walk to my vehicle, its a similar colour and size to all the others. but i remember the shape of mine.
"do i eat." my thoughts sound like someone elses and at the word eat i see images of the television and what i could eat on it. one of the packages looks more familiar than the others but the name is a blur.
I decide i will go and get that if i see it. I realise that I have driven to a place, there is a knot in my bowels. after fifteen and a half minutes I am dressed again and I leave the woman, maybe the same as last week, maybe not.
at the door as i am leaving i see a man i remember shaking hands with earlier. he is holding a package. i realise I am hungry and go to the gas station in search of the package.
it is later and I have finished eating. i do some looking at people employed to fall down at the right time and place until i must sleep.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 10:21

avshalemon: Jun 28, 2018

staberind posted:

I carefully adjust my tie in mirror before going to church, I feel the fleeting spirit of god while singing a hymn a little off key but its the feeling that counts, I have a little sweat on my upper lip.
I shake my pastors hand but dont recognise him, shrug and after putting a couple of dollars into the collection tray I leave the small town church, the evening breeze carries the scent of cut grass and burning flesh.
with nothing in my mind I walk to my vehicle, its a similar colour and size to all the others. but i remember the shape of mine.
"do i eat." my thoughts sound like someone elses and at the word eat i see images of the television and what i could eat on it. one of the packages looks more familiar than the others but the name is a blur.
I decide i will go and get that if i see it. I realise that I have driven to a place, there is a knot in my bowels. after fifteen and a half minutes I am dressed again and I leave the woman, maybe the same as last week, maybe not.
at the door as i am leaving i see a man i remember shaking hands with earlier. he is holding a package. i realise I am hungry and go to the gas station in search of the package.
it is later and I have finished eating. i do some looking at people employed to fall down at the right time and place until i must sleep.

yoohoo honeycakes let's watch sports rhen ill shave your balls and play snooker with em. after that we can do a jesus

# ? Mar 13, 2019 10:34

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

FactsAreUseless posted:

But not his "weird stuff"

heyeyoo hot stuff, i'm a man about town, just running for council and living my normal rear end life of male golf and the thai massage parlour out back of the kebab shop. been soaking my balls in maple syrup all night, whattaya say we have a fry up? we can watch the big game, have a yeast, get handsome

# ? Mar 13, 2019 10:39

avshalemon: Jun 28, 2018

they call me the pink pelvis

# ? Mar 13, 2019 10:40

Shadow0: Jun 16, 2008; If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.; Grimey Drawer

*Has only the programs that originally came with their laptop installed plus either Chrome or Firefox and a couple viruses posing as anti-maleware programs.*

*Uses laptop exclusively to browse reddit and Facebook.*

# ? Mar 14, 2019 01:03

naem: May 29, 2011

*poops in a bucket*

�That garfield is one cantankerous cat!�

# ? Mar 14, 2019 02:04

Do it ironically: Jul 13, 2010; by Pragmatica

I can�t wait to go to the Texas Roadhouse with my wife for the early bird special

# ? Mar 14, 2019 02:17

is pepsi ok: Oct 23, 2002

*pays 50% of my monthly income on rent and 30% on my car so that people don't think I'm poor*

# ? Mar 14, 2019 02:30

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

is pepsi ok posted:

*pays 50% of my monthly income on rent and 30% on my car so that people don't think I'm poor*

*pays 75 percent of my monthly income on rent and 40 percent on my car because I actually am poor*

# ? Mar 14, 2019 02:32

02-6611-0142-1: Sep 30, 2004

*listens to podcasts*

# ? Mar 17, 2019 00:36

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Watches a reasonable amount of porn

# ? Mar 17, 2019 00:41

Senator Sprinkles: Aug 16, 2008

It's 2:30am and ive been asleep for well over 4 hours!!

# ? Mar 17, 2019 06:36

unpleasantly turgid: Jul 6, 2016; u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*

*sheeple*

# ? Mar 17, 2019 06:41

Commie Lasorda: May 15, 2009; IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!

*only beats off when the wife is out of the house and always feels guilty afterwards*

# ? Mar 17, 2019 07:16

Haptical Sales Slut: Mar 15, 2010; Age 18 to 49

*misses headlines on the tonight show with Jay Leno

# ? Mar 17, 2019 07:59

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

*buys a brand new Chrysler*

# ? Mar 17, 2019 09:39

Sherry Bahm: Jul 30, 2003; filled with dolphins

*go to Starbucks and buy a Soy Half-Caf Javachip Frappuchinno*

*pretend to sit down to write next best seller on laptop*

*watch kinky porn instead*

*shout "I'M NORMAL!" everytime I orgasm*

# ? Mar 17, 2019 09:49

other people: Jun 27, 2004; Associate Christ

Enjoys Capitalism

# ? Mar 18, 2019 09:59

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Tin Can Hit Man posted:

*go to Starbucks and buy a Soy Half-Caf Javachip Frappuchinno*

*pretend to sit down to write next best seller on laptop*

*watch kinky porn instead*

*shout "I'M NORMAL!" everytime I orgasm*

*Has spent almost a decade now working on the next great American novel, keeps constantly rewriting and revising it, and dreams of success and fame once it's done*

*Never even though of cranking out ebook fetish porn for Amazon at 2.99 a pop!*

# ? Mar 18, 2019 10:54

succ: Nov 11, 2016; by Cyrano4747

looking forward to the work week! its nice to get a break from the kids. they are starting me on a new project, we will see how that goes.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 11:04

Account McAccount: Mar 30, 2012

I believe that TV is a reputable source of news.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 13:24

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

*Has spent almost a decade now working on the next great American novel, keeps constantly rewriting and revising it, and dreams of success and fame once it's done*

*Never even though of cranking out ebook fetish porn for Amazon at 2.99 a pop!*

How do you make money by spending money to crank it all day?

# ? Mar 18, 2019 16:55