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sweet geek swag posted:Except Lloth. Lloth is cool. 
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Dec 21, 2019 08:15
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Crimson Harvest posted:Edit x2: obviously the real answer is just to skip it and become a lich but that might be forums culture and not a good answer if hes intentionally drinking himself to death going lich obviously isn't the answer because of the whole undead "immunity to poisons" thing like what's the point if you can't get crunk
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Dec 21, 2019 08:53
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are you telling me that eternal liches haven't perfected lich drugs
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Dec 21, 2019 09:21
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Have you ever been to one of Lloth's parties? They're the best. Seriously. All the activities involve killing large numbers of mortals. It's just fun. You haven't lived until you play pin the druid on the world tree. Odin gets pissed if we do it for too long though. We also play a game were we try to guess if a bard is singing or getting tortured (hint: they're always getting tortured).
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Dec 21, 2019 09:28
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Crimson Harvest posted:are you telling me that eternal liches haven't perfected lich drugs if liches wanna have a good time you're pretty much stuck with psionics and we know how this thread feels about those
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Dec 21, 2019 09:59
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Man that sounds like a niche waiting to be exploited. I bet you can find some native plant life on the Negative Material Plane that'd gently caress a lich right up.
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Dec 21, 2019 10:09
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Ever got high on holy water? Or maybe some crushed golden ice? It's a tapped market.
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Dec 21, 2019 10:14
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Crimson Harvest posted:Man that sounds like a niche waiting to be exploited. I bet you can find some native plant life on the Negative Material Plane that'd gently caress a lich right up. All the good lich drugs actually come from the Positive Energy Plane, or are mixed with stuff from there. Positive energy is the only thing that will gently caress up a lich.
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Dec 21, 2019 10:18
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Crimson Harvest posted:are you telling me that eternal liches haven't perfected lich drugs it's just that, purely coincidentally, the ancient immortal immoral undead generally aren't the best about this thing called "sharing" and prefer to instead liquefy people who'd try to steal their happy pills so, on the one hand, if you become a lich you basically have to figure out lich drugs from scratch. on the other, you literally have as long as you want to work it out!
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Dec 21, 2019 11:37
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Just possess a regular human if you want to get hosed up on party drugs and avoid the comedown.
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Dec 21, 2019 20:55
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ThePopeOfFun posted:Someone dunked in bards on like the first page and I am just here to say I'm sorry ur not popular try having a conversation with other beings for once. My guitar is woven with dark enchantments. Enjoy dancing until the end of time, rear end in a top hat.
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Dec 21, 2019 20:59
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Outrail posted:Just possess a regular human if you want to get hosed up on party drugs and avoid the comedown. Wow. Why have I not thought of this anytime in the past 250 years? Genius.
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Dec 21, 2019 21:39
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Speleothing posted:Wow. Why have I not thought of this anytime in the past 250 years? Genius. Don't take that risk. You might get so high you'll actually believe that you are human and get stuck in the body, and then you'll have to repeat unspeakable acts and build a new phylactery and who got time for that?!?
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Dec 21, 2019 21:53
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Unspeakable acts and craft projects are the reason I became a lich in the first place.
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Dec 21, 2019 22:20
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Colonel Cancer posted:Don't take that risk. You might get so high you'll actually believe that you are human and get stuck in the body, and then you'll have to repeat unspeakable acts and build a new phylactery and who got time for that?!? Also there's the whole your Lich body might end up slaughtering you for whatever dark acts it came up with.
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Dec 21, 2019 23:16
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StandardVC10 posted:My guitar is woven with dark enchantments. Enjoy dancing until the end of time, rear end in a top hat. Yah I got that sweet sweet Fey Ancestry bay beeeeee, ain't no charmin' me (usually).
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Dec 21, 2019 23:27
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ThePopeOfFun posted:Yah I got that sweet sweet Fey Ancestry bay beeeeee, ain't no charmin' me (usually). That just makes you extra weak to any bard that knows heavy metal.
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Dec 21, 2019 23:31
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And I got chromatic ray. Eat poo poo in 8 wonderful colors.
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Dec 21, 2019 23:33
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Bacontotem posted:That just makes you extra weak to any bard that knows heavy metal. Am def a sucker for big hair and lingerie.
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Dec 21, 2019 23:40
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Hihohe posted:And I got chromatic ray. Eat poo poo in 8 wonderful colors. chromatic ray is so uncreative explosive prismatic movement of bowels, now that is art my friend
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Dec 22, 2019 00:57
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Have you ever considered how magical power affects our morality? The more of it we have, the less we feel bound by any rules. Eventually we gain immortality, and then we tell the very gods to gently caress off with their preaching. Man, I love having ultimate cosmic power.
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Dec 22, 2019 00:59
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quite frankly cosmic power is nothing compared to the power of money, and my faked data-dollars and cloned bills might be good enough for a bank or even the irs but they would never pass muster under political scrutiny. when you think about it, ignoring the rules is kind of like fighting the power, and im all about row row fight the powa
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Dec 22, 2019 01:08
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chin up everything sucks posted:Have you ever considered how magical power affects our morality? The more of it we have, the less we feel bound by any rules. Eventually we gain immortality, and then we tell the very gods to gently caress off with their preaching. Excuse me my powers are granted by her majesty Yoth but as a chaotic evil adherent hell yeah no rules.
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Dec 22, 2019 01:19
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The White Dragon posted:chromatic ray is so uncreative Color spray but the colors are limited to brown, sickly green and red.
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Dec 22, 2019 03:46
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So on the positive side, my new time stop spell works. On the negative side, it turns out that stopping time for everything that isn't me causes me to be locked in place by immovable air. I'd say that it's a good thing that the spell doesn't last very long, but I haven't figured out how to properly talk about divergent time references. Technically the time I felt never happened? This is the last time I get a discount spell through portal-order.
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Jan 6, 2020 18:05
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Just teleport the air lmao
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Jan 6, 2020 18:23
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chin up everything sucks posted:So on the positive side, my new time stop spell works. The White Dragon posted:quite frankly cosmic power is nothing compared to the power of money, and my faked data-dollars and cloned bills might be good enough for a bank or even the irs but they would never pass muster under political scrutiny.
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Jan 6, 2020 21:14
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It's that day again. Time to trick some poor idiots that think they're praying to a god for love for some free soul gems.
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Feb 14, 2020 19:15
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Soul gems went out of style decades ago, it's all about love crystals. All you need is a simple illusion spell and you'll be living off fools' life energy for months!
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Feb 14, 2020 20:22
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I dunno, I feel really uncomfortable trying to get virgins to fill a JO crystal for me to steal. Soul crystals leave me feeling a lot less dirty.
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Feb 14, 2020 21:00
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just perfected a spell that allows me to steal a man's dick and hold it hostage, should lead to some pretty fun stuff. if you have any unique ideas as far as implementation let me know
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Feb 14, 2020 21:50
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Bacontotem posted:It's that day again. Time to trick some poor idiots that think they're praying to a god for love for some free soul gems. Like most of you, I do my best to maintain a high degree of professionalism in what I do. But. Valentine's Day for a magic user is like Christmas for Wal-Mart - this is what makes it all worth it. I do admit to cutting corners to get the most out of it, but I at least try to change it up every year. In 2018 I ran out of Hibiscus Root to make love potions with, but had a ton of Venous Kudzu lying around. As you all know, kudzu is generally used to treat post-partum and help new mom's bond with their children. Well, I labeled everything correctly and it still sold out. Porn started to get really weird that year, I recall. Last year I was excited to try out one of those new electronic familiars the shamans down in the Amazon had cooked up, and "incels" were in the news a lot too. So I had the familiars trace a bunch of Reddit posters down and spam their devices with ads for some local succubi I knew. The phone was off the hook all night, and the genderless soul suckers cut me a great commission. Memorably, one of them had their veil come undone halfway through apparently, and the dude ended up not only NOT freaking out over the goat legs, but tipped like $200. Nice. This year I had a buddy down at the docks, Nephyla Of The Deep, hook me up with some enchanted oysters. Guaranteed to have a pearl that is guaranteed to remove 10 years off the life of the first person who lays eyes on it. Nephyla and the other merpeople apparently sustain the life of their kraken queen through the curse of something. Anyway unregulated seafood is surprisingly difficult to move but I only need to sell like 20 to make more this year than any other. The Bramble fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Feb 14, 2020 |
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Feb 14, 2020 21:56
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Play posted:just perfected a spell that allows me to steal a man's dick and hold it hostage, should lead to some pretty fun stuff. if you have any unique ideas as far as implementation let me know Help I took my own dick how do I put it back on
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Feb 14, 2020 22:25
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chin up everything sucks posted:I dunno, I feel really uncomfortable trying to get virgins to fill a JO crystal for me to steal. Soul crystals leave me feeling a lot less dirty. Plus every spell you cast with these fuckin' things leaves a lasting aroma of squid... gross.
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Feb 15, 2020 01:31
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Motherfucker posted:Plus every spell you cast with these fuckin' things leaves a lasting aroma of squid... gross. lol just lol if you don't grow callery pears around your atelier under a seasonal environmental enchantment so they're in a constant state of bloom to mask the smell of casting JO Magic unwanted visitors to your lair don't even know what hit them Fur20 fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Feb 15, 2020 |
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Feb 15, 2020 02:52
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Remember, when you're a lich you don't have to smell anything if you don't want to.
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Feb 15, 2020 02:54
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Play posted:just perfected a spell that allows me to steal a man's dick and hold it hostage, should lead to some pretty fun stuff. if you have any unique ideas as far as implementation let me know
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Feb 15, 2020 04:59
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Feb 15, 2020 06:46
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Quarantine's been great for the disease removal potion market. They couldn't sell themselves faster if the bottles were tiny golems that jumped into grocery carts.
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Jun 10, 2020 15:05
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 20:27 |
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So I kind of screwed up (hear me out) and need some advice. During quarantine I was completely alone in my citadel. I divorced about 300 years ago, haven't really gotten around to dating again yet. So you know, like everybody else I got bored and lonely. So, long story short, one night back in April I started talking with a Mud Witch. She's an incredible lady, really nice and funny and everything. But she's just not my type, physically. She's pretty much an amorphous blob of mud, with a few blades of grass for her hair. She's been talking recently about meeting up, which is fine, but she's been dropping some major hints about wanting to combine our magicks, if you know what I mean. How do I let her down nicely? I realize I am no prize myself (ever since the Barbarian Gorrth stabbed me with the Crimson Blade of Carkull I've been losing my hair and can't put on muscle) but I can't change what I am attracted to.
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Jun 10, 2020 15:22
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