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numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Coxswain Balls posted:

Very unfortunate, but true.
\

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Gutter Phoenix
Jul 23, 2013

I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

I. M. Gei posted:

They’d be cooler if they didn’t only live about 5 years at most.

But yeah, octopuses are pretty cool.

It is one of the greatest injustices in the universe that octopus lifespans are so short. They are super intelligent, and would probably run the world if they lived as long as humans. I, for one, would welcome a cephalopod overlord.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q36_8s5z6S8

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Octopuses are underwater so they can't discover fire no matter how long they live :colbert:

Free Cheese
Sep 16, 2005
Come on, it's free
Buglord
Octopuses got they brains in they legs

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
Have a video about cuttlefish seeing themselves on a camera screen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-DusaSVHmM

And a video showing that no crab is safe when an octopus is around

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5fZu-1bt6Y

And this one about an octopus having a casual stroll to say hi to its fans

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjQr3lRACPI

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
They're my favorite animal. We should genetically modify them to live longer

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

good dogs, op

but i question your plural

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

any of you guys scuba???? im thinking of trying it out

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



numberoneposter posted:

any of you guys scuba???? im thinking of trying it out

same

I hear it can be hella dangerous though

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

good dogs, op

but i question your plural

"Octopuses" is the most correct plural form

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

Devils Affricate posted:

"Octopuses" is the most correct plural form

yes but "octopodes" makes most people angry

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



Gutter Phoenix
Jul 23, 2013

I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).
Octopus tries to steal scuba diver's camera:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRrkaLTVHrs

Coxswain Balls
Jun 4, 2001


don't be gettin' any ideas bub

It's rough being so deliciously intelligent

Coxswain Balls
Jun 4, 2001

Moridin920 posted:

Octopuses are underwater so they can't discover fire no matter how long they live :colbert:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFzpC_e44Tg

Gutter Phoenix
Jul 23, 2013

I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abRPaXgJGQg

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Gutter Phoenix posted:

Octopus tries to steal scuba diver's camera:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRrkaLTVHrs

Well wtf happens??? The video ends without any kind of resolution. I'm just gonna assume the octopus kills the man and takes the camera.

Gutter Phoenix
Jul 23, 2013

I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).
LOL, this is great!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5DyBkYKqnM

Coxswain Balls
Jun 4, 2001

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Well wtf happens??? The video ends without any kind of resolution. I'm just gonna assume the octopus kills the man and takes the camera.

Who do you think posted the video

Gutter Phoenix
Jul 23, 2013

I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Well wtf happens??? The video ends without any kind of resolution. I'm just gonna assume the octopus kills the man and takes the camera.

Yeah, I don't know. The video looks to be from Chinese state TV, so I wonder if they just didn't want to show the diver being outwitted, outmatched, and having his equipment stolen by an octopus.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Coxswain Balls posted:

Who do you think posted the video

A passerby cuttlefish yelling WORLDSTAR in cephalopodian

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!
Wedge Regret
I think I saw a documentary on the discovery channel that octopuses roam the land in the future, even showing an animation of them swinging on trees like Tarzan, in the movie Tarzan. Also had spiders fattening up mice like pigs to eat.

Oscar Wild
Apr 11, 2006

It's good to be a G
Have you met MATTHEW CALAMARI?

https://twitter.com/travishelwig/status/1100877268681920527?s=19

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Savage For The Winjun posted:

The plural is octopodes

octopussies actually. lotta bad and wrong octopus facts getting thrown around op, get control of your thread

Blow
Feb 10, 2004

Non Poster posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-ringed_octopus



Direct contact is necessary to be envenomated. Faced with danger, the octopus's first instinct is to flee. If the threat persists, the octopus will go into a defensive stance, and show its blue rings.

The major neurotoxin component of the blue-ringed octopus is a compound that was originally known as maculotoxin but was later found to be identical to tetrodotoxin, a neurotoxin also found in pufferfish, and in some poison dart frogs. Tetrodotoxin is 1,200 times more toxic than cyanide. Tetrodotoxin blocks sodium channels, causing motor paralysis, and respiratory arrest within minutes of exposure.

Tetrodotoxin causes severe and often total body paralysis. Tetrodotoxin envenomation can result in victims being fully aware of their surroundings but unable to move. Because of the paralysis that occurs, they have no way of signaling for help or any way of indicating distress. The victim remains conscious and alert in a manner similar to curare or pancuronium bromide. This effect, however, is temporary and will fade over a period of hours as the tetrodotoxin is metabolized and excreted by the body.

It is essential that rescue breathing be continued without pause until the paralysis subsides and the victim regains the ability to breathe on their own. This is a daunting physical prospect for a single individual

Respiratory support until medical assistance arrives ensures the victims will generally recover.

Victims who survive the first twenty-four hours usually recover completely.



I just drew this for my 10 year old niece.

(A+) Amazing.

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
I want to take the time here to say that I completely endorse the octopus race enslaving humanity, so that when they question my allegiance I can say I supported them even before they won the war.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

why would you even touch let alone pick up an animal that enough poison to kill 28 people

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Free Cheese posted:

Octopuses got they brains in they legs

It's actually super cool, I haven't looked to see if anyone followed up on the study, but a couple years ago some guys figured out that the octopus probably delegates its movement to the individual legs. So basically the central nervous system says "I wanna go this way" and the legs are all like "okay I think this is how we're gonna do it" and the CNS is like "Cool whatever I don't give a poo poo just go already"

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





also one time a little octopus stuck itself to my gear when I was spearfishing and I didn't notice until about halfway through paddling the kayak back in to shore. It was awesome and we were best friends until I peeled him off and finally got him to let go and swim away.

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

That is the cutest story.


Nothing is more adorable than spearfishing.

Blow
Feb 10, 2004

Beet Wagon posted:

also one time a little octopus stuck itself to my gear when I was spearfishing and I didn't notice until about halfway through paddling the kayak back in to shore. It was awesome and we were best friends until I peeled him off and finally got him to let go and swim away.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

octocuck

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





is that when you get cucked by an octopus or when you get cucked 8 times like you have some kinda punch card or something :confused:

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
Could a heavyweight boxer knock out an octopus underwater

Are octopuses immune to bludgeoning attacks?

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

insects dont take falling damage and octopus is immune to blunt weapons when submerged

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

numberoneposter posted:

insects dont take falling damage and octopus is immune to blunt weapons when submerged


Bullshit I will SMASH a octopus hrrrnnngggggg! :argh:

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.
Another goon linked me to a video that was talking about breeding octopusses. There was a very nicely drawn animation about how they mate when the male is feeling brave and decides to come into contact with the female. Turns out, octopus contact sex looks like the male is giving the female a wet willy.




Now I have to go find the video if it hasn't already been posted.

Bored fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Mar 1, 2019

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

thats hawt

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Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Bored posted:

Another goon linked me to a video that was talking about breeding octopusses. There was a very nicely drawn animation about how they mate when the male is feeling brave and decides to come into contact with the female. Turns out, octopus contact sex looks like the male is giving the female a wet willy.




Now I have to go find the video if it hadn't already been posted.

t hats how i do it too

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