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Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


What if someone created an entire boxing and mma promotion built around guys who claimed they learned to fight "from the streets"?

What if ridiculous and arbitrary things like ropes, rings, clothing and weight restrictions were thrown out the window?

What if someone asked the hard questions like "Is BJJ more or less effective on dried leaves"?

What if they really wanted you to believe throwing two hillbillies into a meat slapping contest was solving gang violence?

There is an answer, and that answer is STREETBEEFS



There are two sides to STREETBEEFS

There is the side that they market themselves as. You see, one might think throwing a bunch of metheads into the woods to swat at each other might be dangerously irresponsible. You would be wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJNLpHfZvr4

There, don't you feel silly. Its about ending gang violence. Shame on you for thinking otherwise.

quote:

Harrisonburg Police Department Crime Prevention Officer Brooke Wetherell said that while the city is not crime free, the “Guns to Gloves” video is inaccurate in its portrayal of Harrisonburg, as violent crime has been “severely decreased” in the past few years. There were no homicides in the city in all of 2014 and 2015; there was one during each of the previous four years.

Oh... well...

gently caress it, lets watch some terrible fighting.

Allow me present some of my favorite STREETBEEFS matchups

1. Ninja Ron vs. Icy Mike

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu87a5uUj-Q

This is what originally turned me on to STREETBEEFS. Ninja Ron is a very fat and very crazy man from West Virginia who genuinely believes he is a ninja. Like, he really really thinks he is a ninja. He has training videos and everything.





He claims to have been trained by Ashida Kim, which anyone familiar with Bullshido should recognize immediately. You should also recognize why someone claiming to be trained by Ashida Kim getting into a real fight isn't good.

Icy Mike is a fitness and self defense youtuber who finally convinced the Ninja to step up. It was a wonderful disaster.

2. Juggalo Rob vs. The Punisher

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEGfGHgjG5o

This fight is notable because its basically a dude having a head so durable he can take multiple unblocked shots and win when the other guy gets tired of beating him stupid.

3. Animal vs. Cornflake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QxiSAPU6RQ

This is one of the newest fights, fought out of their new arena of some dude's garage. This fight is a great example of the level of talent that shows up to participate in these fights. I won't spoil who wins, but you can guess after, like, five seconds.

4. Vandal vs. Knock Em Down Brown (ft. Diamond Dave)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCABRciEuYk

The purest STREETBEEFS match up. It has it all. Dude wearing a Joker shirt. A skinny redneck guy with a Boomhauer level accent screaming the whole match. A guy wearing Jiu Jitsu pants despite not knowing Jiu Jitsu. Victory due to heart attack. The Foreman vs. Ali of Streetbeefs fights.

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rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011

Me uni a la Revolucion #RXT


el sabe ...


I am not sure what I have begun to witness, but thank you.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



whoop my rear end!

Ditch
Jul 29, 2003

Backdrop Hunger

I don't understand what happened at the end of #4, pls send help.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


Ditch posted:

I don't understand what happened at the end of #4, pls send help.

I stand by my assumption the dude had a heart attack

Ditch
Jul 29, 2003

Backdrop Hunger

Mel Mudkiper posted:

I stand by my assumption the dude had a heart attack
But he threw a punch right before being pulled off?

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



he was pulled off due to the round ending, and then between rounds it was determined that he could not continue. he may have had to go pick up his son from school, or had a heart attack.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


The Saga of Vandall vs. Ja(e)(i)

Vandall is quickly becoming one of my favorite fighters to follow. A true showman.

However, before we go into his feud with Ja(e)(i)* there is one thing that is becoming mysterious to me. His record makes no sense.

In his first MMA match against Ja(e)(i) in July 2017 his record is listed as 28-3

One year later, in his MMA match against Knock'Em Down Brown, his record is 22-5. In a years time, he apparently had four less matches, and lost two matches he had previously won. Why I mention this is because I genuinely believe he is making his record up and no one is calling him on it.

My reason for this is the vast majority of matches he appears in has him getting his rear end beat.

For example

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3afDDmRs8_E (yes, he is wearing his Dominos delivery uniform)

Even his victories like against Knock'Em Down Brown are due to the other dude killing himself. One of his few legit victories was against a guy he outweighed by nearly 150lbs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qHtouAkwqk

Which leads to this fight

Vandall vs. Ja

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNojQK-46A4

This fight sees Vandall employing a new style, using multiple Tae Kwon Do style spinning kicks in an attempt to keep the distance. However, he is quickly shut down when, in true Tae Kwon Do fashion, he completely forgets to block.

After the fight, he calls out his opponent for, I poo poo you not, being too in shape and being a loser for working out.

https://www.fite.tv/video/streetbee...ostfight/2ju7r/

This got Ja(e)(i) hot, and two weeks later, a NO TIME LIMIT rematch between the two occurred.

Vandall vs. Jae II

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Molg11A22ac

In this fight, Vandall resorts to far less kicks. Whether this is due to the weakness of his game in the first match, or the fact he is wearing Jeans, I am not sure. The opening of the fight sees Vandall and Ja(e)(i) going at it like two horny bucks during mating season, just kind of swatting at each and butting heads. It then goes into a period of mutual ground and pound before returning to standing. At this point it seems like Vandall might force a rubber match. Ja(e)(i) is walking around lazilly with his back to Vandall the entire time. Vandall even hits, late in the match, I poo poo you not, the Jon Jones reverse elbow, but doesn't damage. However, the fight finally ends much like the first one, with a gassed Vandall dropping his guard and getting absolutely plowed in the face.

*-Ja(e)(i)'s name is spelled differently in three different sources. The first fight has him listed as Ja. The Rematch has him listed as Jae. The description of the video below lists him as Jai. The description of the fight itself is something of a lexical masterpiece.

quote:

SATANS BACJYARD: what had originally started as a sporting fight betweeen vandall and jai turned into a beef over the last 2 weeks
They both agreed to 1 round to the finish...

Mel Mudkiper fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Mar 6, 2019

Scrapez
Feb 27, 2004



This is good and terrible.

tao of lmao
Oct 9, 2005

by Lowtax


I feel really weird and bad watching these kinds of videos, but the recaps are good.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


tao of lmao posted:

I feel really weird and bad watching these kinds of videos, but the recaps are good.

why would you feel bad about this pillar of the community resolving gang violence by having dudes fight in his backyard for youtube

tao of lmao
Oct 9, 2005

by Lowtax


I felt the same way watching the old Kimbo Slice videos.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

i felt worse watching kimbo's last pro fight, tbh

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


perhaps you would feel better with this story of friendship and redemption told in satans backyard

This fight sees two unnamed ladies in an impromptu BEEF FITE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8pxq3Rjk1Q

The heavier one appears to be wearing skin-toned underwear at least three sizes too small for her. The thinner one, for some reason, is choosing not to wear gloves. The thinner one opens the fight with a sort of rope a dope strategy, choosing to clinch and let the larger lady tire herself out. The fight is briefly broken up due to hair-pulling and again for an open cut.

Towards the middle of the fight, the thinner one's strategy appears to be paying off as the heavier one becomes gassed and eventually succumbs to a takedown. The thinner one quickly establishes mount, and then THE MAGIC HAPPENS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8pxq3Rjk1Q#t=326s (5:26 if the link doesn't work)

I cannot allow myself to spoil this. Just be prepared for a heart-warming story of friendship, redemption, and stolen clothes sold for meth.

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006



this is loving embarrassing

Low Desert Punk
Jul 4, 2012

i have absolutely no fucking money


Fantastic thread

The golden corral shirt on Animal sold me immediately

Venomous
Nov 7, 2011






Mel Mudkiper posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8pxq3Rjk1Q#t=326s (5:26 if the link doesn't work)

I cannot allow myself to spoil this. Just be prepared for a heart-warming story of friendship, redemption, and stolen clothes sold for meth.

my gut really wants to believe this argument is worked, but my head knows that the one woman really stole the other woman's stuff and this is a real insight into their lives lmao

Low Desert Punk
Jul 4, 2012

i have absolutely no fucking money


these videos are like looking the american opioid crisis in the eye

Ad by Khad
Jul 25, 2007

SomethingAwful's Official Karen



this word short-circuited my brain because i didnt instantly know whether to read it as meatheads or methheads

then i was like, "oh"

e: i watched juggalo simpson vs punisher and i enjoyed that fight more than any ufc i've seen in the last ten years, and that's not a joke

i appreciate you, op

Ad by Khad fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Mar 6, 2019

ARMBAR A COP
Nov 24, 2007

HURRAH! ANOTHER YEAR, SURELY THIS ONE WILL BE BETTER THAN THE LAST; THE INEXORABLE MARCH OF PROGRESS WILL LEAD US ALL TO HAPPINESS


This is the best thank you .

Scrapez
Feb 27, 2004



I wondered what Kaepernick had been up to since being cut from the NFL...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxDa0J-iePg

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

perhaps you would feel better with this story of friendship and redemption told in satans backyard

This fight sees two unnamed ladies in an impromptu BEEF FITE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8pxq3Rjk1Q

The heavier one appears to be wearing skin-toned underwear at least three sizes too small for her. The thinner one, for some reason, is choosing not to wear gloves. The thinner one opens the fight with a sort of rope a dope strategy, choosing to clinch and let the larger lady tire herself out. The fight is briefly broken up due to hair-pulling and again for an open cut.

Towards the middle of the fight, the thinner one's strategy appears to be paying off as the heavier one becomes gassed and eventually succumbs to a takedown. The thinner one quickly establishes mount, and then THE MAGIC HAPPENS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8pxq3Rjk1Q#t=326s (5:26 if the link doesn't work)

I cannot allow myself to spoil this. Just be prepared for a heart-warming story of friendship, redemption, and stolen clothes sold for meth.

I think I married one of them in my 20s.

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007



Is this the new bumfights

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mr. Carlisle posted:

Is this the new bumfights

Its somewhat less exploitive, but yeah. Its like if Alaska Fighting Championships had prelim fights in the parking lot.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


Apparently Streetbeefs star "Mighty Mouse (the other one)" Chris Yarborough was signed to fight in a bare knuckle card back in October that also featured MMA names like Chris Leben and Johnny Hendricks.

However, the organization promoting the event hasn't updated since the event, and I cannot find a single recap or video or even result for the fight.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

LET ME HELP YOU UNDERSTAND MY POSTS


drat and I just discovered this thread last night and bookmarked it. Trashfights are extremely my poo poo.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


Taintrunner posted:

drat and I just discovered this thread last night and bookmarked it. Trashfights are extremely my poo poo.

I am a combat sports newbie and honestly I feel like I learn more from watching how bad these guys are on the ground than I learn from watching two really good guys grapple.

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014





This brings back memories of the glory days of 2003 when dvds of trailer trash white girls beating each other up while some dude wearing an Affliction tee and covered in tribal tats would referee them were readily available on the internet and F.Y.E. stores.

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014





I appreciate that Vandall's fighting style seems to solely consist of constantly stiff-arming his opponent and getting punched in the face.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.




Grimey Drawer

I feel like I had to click on this thread simply because I've been watching some SCTV lately and obviously Johnny LaRue is involved.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


You may recall in the Vandall vs. Pops match, Scarface mentions they are being filmed by ESPN.

I found the article is anyone is interested

http://www.espn.com/espn/feature/st...iolence-streets

It does have some interesting tidbits

quote:

Fighters aren't paid and there's no admission fee charged, so Street Beefs falls outside the jurisdiction of state licensing

quote:

The YouTube revenue has allowed Wilmore to quit his day job as a personal trainer to run Street Beefs full time. He says he hopes to soon start paying those who staff security, referee or assist with Street Beefs social media.

There is also some fun info on what the day jobs of most of the fighters are

Mel Mudkiper fucked around with this message at 03:58 on Mar 9, 2019

IDONTPOST
Apr 18, 2018






watched this awhile ago and forgot what it was called. Thank you.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


Sometimes, when you see a match only lasts 1:17, you know you are in for something special

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEEnr5Kqq28

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007



Mel Mudkiper posted:

Sometimes, when you see a match only lasts 1:17, you know you are in for something special

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEEnr5Kqq28

old hobo Conor Mcgregor literally left a stain on the mat

Vaah
Dec 25, 2008






My YouTube recs are now hosed for the next month but I can't look away

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012

GET BACK UP

I'm going to think of these everytime I hear someone talk about White culture.

Ad by Khad
Jul 25, 2007

SomethingAwful's Official Karen


Mel Mudkiper posted:

Sometimes, when you see a match only lasts 1:17, you know you are in for something special

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEEnr5Kqq28

When I linked this vid to my other goon friends I threw in the link to the old Kuuenbu classic along with it, describing this boxing match with the tagline "NO YOU SHUT THE gently caress UP DAD"

granddad's winging right hand at 1:03 was so wide it looked like he was swinging a purse

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


There's a card today, the headlining bout being a fight by STREETBEEFS founder Scarface vs. Candyman

His fight against Candyman is controversial for several reasons. In fact, people were accusing Scarface of deliberately choosing a soup can to make himself look better. He eventually had to actually respond to these allegations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2SLxjezKt8#t=116s

Despite what Scarface says, its a fair criticism. Candyman's record is... not good. His current record in the yard is 1-2, his only win coming against a 1-2 fighter named Tatersalad. However, there is some caveats to his losses. Candyman's defeat to Smoody happened on the same day as his victory against Tatersalad. The dude, in his forties, fought two multi-round boxing matches in one day.

You can see those matches here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZUPSr83Pi8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtPiqwAd8us

His other loss came from a very short and strange fight. Candyman vs. Animal went only about a minute, but is notable for a questionable fall due to poor ring condition. They fought outside on mud after a rainstorm, and what seems a glancing blow knocks Candyman so hard on his rear end he literally tears the ropes from the ringpost. I am still not sure if he slipped or got floored. Regardless, fight should have probably stopped there, but the fight continued, and Candyman is dropped two more times in the round for a merciful TKO.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKGlOrkiGdo

As scarface is quick to point out, Candyman is a former pro-boxer, and you can see flashes of competence in his matches, especially against Tatersalad. His boxing record is actually pretty decent for a dude who drives down from Boston to fight in someone's backyard.

http://boxrec.com/en/boxer/48247

Steve "Candyman" "Gentle Giant" Vukosa has a professional record of 10-1, his only loss in his final match when he was 38. His career is an interesting one. As you can see, the majority of his fights occurred in the early aughts, most against first time or winless fighters. Based on this, he had a career that could be described as profoundly mediocre. However, there is one fight in particular that stands out to me.

You see, briefly, Vukosa was a champion boxer.

http://boxrec.com/en/event/692045/1888412

This fight fascinates me. Vukosa came back from a 12 year retirement to fight a 20-4 boxer nearly 15 years his junior, for what was essentially a title-award ceremony disguised as a match. I cannot find a video, but there is a brief write-up of the fight here.

http://www.doghouseboxing.com/Ken/H...0729a14-New.htm

Immediately after winning the "USA New England Heavyweight Title", he retired. Then unretired. Then retired. Then unretired. Then retired. Then joined Streetbeefs.

So, needless to say, I am interested in the fight. Despite his poor record, age and showing, Candyman is a former champion boxer. Scarface is not.
I am interested to see if this is gonna be an actual scrap, or if Scarface has booked himself an easy fight. Scarface has suggested he may not upload the fight, but I cannot imagine someone will not smuggle out some footage.

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007



Are there even small amounts of money changing hands here as form as payment for the fights or are they just giving brain damage to each other for free

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Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

I think this is a pretty good draft class overall. It's really shaping up that way because of the water types.


Mr. Carlisle posted:

Are there even small amounts of money changing hands here as form as payment for the fights or are they just giving brain damage to each other for free

Officially fighters aren't paid, because if they were, they would be put under boxing regulations

Whether dudes gets 20s under the table, no clue.

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