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coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

perhaps you would feel better with this story of friendship and redemption told in satans backyard

This fight sees two unnamed ladies in an impromptu BEEF FITE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8pxq3Rjk1Q

The heavier one appears to be wearing skin-toned underwear at least three sizes too small for her. The thinner one, for some reason, is choosing not to wear gloves. The thinner one opens the fight with a sort of rope a dope strategy, choosing to clinch and let the larger lady tire herself out. The fight is briefly broken up due to hair-pulling and again for an open cut.

Towards the middle of the fight, the thinner one's strategy appears to be paying off as the heavier one becomes gassed and eventually succumbs to a takedown. The thinner one quickly establishes mount, and then THE MAGIC HAPPENS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8pxq3Rjk1Q&t=326s (5:26 if the link doesn't work)

I cannot allow myself to spoil this. Just be prepared for a heart-warming story of friendship, redemption, and stolen clothes sold for meth.

I think I married one of them in my 20s.

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coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mr. Carlisle posted:

Is this the new bumfights

Its somewhat less exploitive, but yeah. Its like if Alaska Fighting Championships had prelim fights in the parking lot.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

if I was 20 something fresh out of rehab and someone told me I could fight without getting the cops called on me, I would do this poo poo for free.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mr. Carlisle posted:

That explains so many things

what do my knuckles say?

(glass jaw)

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

its probably for the best, anyway. Someone that knows what they're doing vs someone that watched a few youtube clips is bound to end up in a fatality on a long enough timeline.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Cavauro sounds like we need to settle things in the yard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGlFd-QViB8

fight called due to exhaustion. Truly Street Beefs is a life lesson in motion.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Eventually one of these guys will figure out bodyshot combos and the next fight filmed will have an ambulance wailing in the background.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

I've been laughing at Cargo Cult Armbar all day. My co-workers think I'm weirder than usual.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

personally, I trust the Streetbeefs guy more than Dana White.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Maxwell Lord posted:

The most easily suppressed revolt in history.

carpet bombing them with titty mags and Vicodin, ends overnight.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Sometimes I wonder if the camera guy is in on the joke

The opening of this video is perfectly timed comedy

Its just focused on the one opponent exclusively and then bam, the second you see her opponent I laugh every time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7UGyhJq040

That was a funny fight all around. A much larger opponent gets floored twice and both have striking accuracy of a drunken artillery during an earthquake.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Lucito looks like he's doing an imitation of the boxer hype videos. As a fighting style.

While there are goofy foot and arm movements designed to draw the puncher's eye(and his hands), they're not really things a starting boxer should be doing. Lucito got punched a whole bunch because he was busy jiggling when he shoulda been punching.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

I'm impressed he kept the grip despite breaking a collarbone.

edit: rewatching, he grabs the dude's trunks, lmao.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

This one has a crazy dick punch about 1:40 in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIErGx_py4

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

That's what happens when you grow up past the "might shoot up the highschool" phase. They seem pretty cool.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

That pic was from this fight:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXH3QyeEMUk

There is so much untreated anxiety in attendance you can distill it and sell it at the local Ralph's.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

the little rap intro on that Diablo fight is something else. I think I saw Session Moth getting mauled.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Draxion posted:

10 count pin was a Tenkaichi Budokai thing, do fights in Satan's Backyard take place under Dragon Ball rules?

Satan's backyard, implies that Mr Satan owns the yard, so yes this checks out.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Wangsbig posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvaCFz95pLI

this is an impressively garish clash all around. my boy kodexx abiff(????) has exactly two punches in him, one of which comes in after a break. he spends the scrap just getting stoicly arm punched by a guy in pickle rick boxers. it's over via 10 count pin like it's pro wrestling

Wonderbread looks like one of Ian Rotten's kids.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

they strike me more of a taco truck kind of crowd.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

I never get to watch Sumo because its like 3am or someshit where I am or you have to scum around for some guy's cellphone stream. I would absolutely love seeing broken tooth americans do sumo.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

spacetoaster posted:

Pretty sure that white dude is doing muay thai somewhere. Are they allowing trained folks to fight?

supposedly you're not supposed to get in the yard if you're licensed but I don't know if the StreetBeeefmiester seriously follows up on that.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

TheKingslayer posted:

Good lord, this is just Brawl For All with MMA gloves.

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

willie_dee posted:

I hope that STREET BEEFS one day ups the production a tiny bit but keeps its personality, I imagine it'll be more genuine than this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO2z69SqHB8

man the dude cornering Sapphire might be more gay(? gayer??) than Sapphire. I believe that's a first in fight history.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

in that RNR fight, the wrestler looked vaguely trained whereas the toothless one knew how to throw a punch. At least with Streetbeefs its much more even competition.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

wtf kind of neighbors call in a noise complaint in the middle of the afternoon? Even my 3rd shift neighbors respect this.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

I wish i was good at video games I would make a streetbeefs videogame.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Pretty sure you could just mod Def Jam FFNY

I was honestly thinking about that or one of those wacky arms games where you gotta QWOP your way to victory.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

On today's episode of "Worst idea I have ever heard"

Scarface has announced he is intending to start a politics podcast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBlKxoGaj1A

I can only hope this ends up one of his projects that never gets off the ground

I can't say that I'm not curious. But then again, I like to look at dead things so this is probably a personal failing.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Flair Flop should be up for some cinematic awards. That was inadvertently a beautiful piece of camera work.

E I'll take the draw. That 3rd was close. I felt Scarface was landing cleaner but Dragon landed with more volume.

coconono fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Jun 15, 2019

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Yeah the third round I am willing to give to Scarface but I feel like White Dragon outboxed him first and second

I am also real salty about the mouthpiece

yeah I saw some stuff in there that miiiight be a skosh dirty from Scarface. The near low blow, the spitting of the mouthpiece felt tactical.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

next year for Father's Day I expect a Street Beefs title shot.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

oh my god scarface has reached a hitherto unimagined level of saltiness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH1b1vbnrPQ

Not that it really has any bearing on my enjoyment of Street Beefs, but what the gently caress did Scarf go to jail for? Its clearly not financial fraud.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

that is my new dance move. Gonna go tear up the club with the scarface

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Wangsbig posted:

it might be possible that the ex con monetizing a backyard fight club is a scumbag degenerate

As as I know he hasn't slept with any of the fighters so he's not on Ian Rotten's level.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

The funny part is if Scarface didn't say poo poo about the draw no one would egg him on about it.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

btw if you guys havent seen the dadbod battle royale at that little league game it has a very STREETBEEFS aesthetic to it

I saw the footage Lakewood PD was sharing and they should use little league diamonds as fight clubs more often. I'd pay $5 for a warm bleacher seat, those lovely little nachos and afternoon of dudes blasting each other.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Probably got some metal workers on work release to put something together. Support your local convicts.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Wasabi the J posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbH9tYUSdzY

loving hell is it in the STREETBEEFS fighting style to just master self sabotage?

I can respect the honesty and their fervent desire to better themselves, but jfc dude. Mighty Mouse just copped to sex trafficking a minor and said it was ok because he got probation for it. Not even "I was real fuckin stupid and have had a lot of time to sort my poo poo..." etc etc

I did enjoy Scarface's adherence to the prison version of Robert's Rules of Order.

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coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Well that got dark real fast

I don't think you can look at any of these folks and declare them perfect decision makers.

As far as I'm concerned they served their time and they're now making positive contributions to society.

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