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Wizard Master
Mar 25, 2008

I am the Wizard Master
Could you imagine athletes of the caliber of Lebron James or Cam Newton if they played soccer from a young age? With the infrastructure, professionalism and money of American sports, American athletes would dominate soccer. Just my opinion

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Borrowed Ladder
May 4, 2007

monarch of the sleeping marches
And i would lead that greatest American team to victory if i learned how to play and had athletic jeans

ecavalli
Nov 18, 2012


Wizard Master posted:

Could you imagine athletes of the caliber of Lebron James or Cam Newton if they played soccer from a young age? With the infrastructure, professionalism and money of American sports, American athletes would dominate soccer. Just my opinion

Yeah, but we still wouldn’t give a poo poo about soccer.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008

by Athanatos

(and can't post for 6 days!)

yeah but then europeans would invent some new game to get haughty over

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


I want the Americans to field the fattest, most out of shape team ever just to see how many points Germany or Brazil can put on the board.

Then the US team isn't able to get back home due to an immigration executive order and they have to spend the rest of their lives in Qatar.

President in Residence
May 12, 2003


duh

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion

So the richest country would dominate an area that is historically dominated by rich countries

big if true

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Wizard Master posted:

Could you imagine athletes of the caliber of Lebron James or Cam Newton if they played soccer from a young age?

no, I couldn't, because the athleticism of soccer is not real to me
I see people mostly standing in a massive field and pinging the ball to each other, until one team gets tired, usually scoring about once every 30 minutes, and then every once in a while one of them brushes shoulders with somebody from the other team and cannonballs their body 30 feet in the opposite direction and starts crying because pretending to get hurt is an important part of the strategy
it's an insanely boring awful piece of poo poo game

I could not, in unfathomable years of pondering, conjure the image of somebody displaying the speed, reflexes, and elegance that lebron displays on the court night after night, in the crud game, soccer

Necros
Jul 23, 2003

ok op, but this caveman dad puts lebraun to shame tbh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeQ01fnxO3Y

Nut to Butt
Apr 13, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
what if we just kill the other team

is there a rule against that

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
I feel like if yoj just took a bunch of nfl players and stuck them on the soccer field they could still compete pretty well. Give them a year and they could whip most soccer teams

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust

NFL players are getting fatter and fatter these days. They couldn't handle running ~9 miles per game.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
This is a giant negatio.

I tried the sport as a kid and could not wrap my mind around it. These south american folk been doing it their whole lives. Screw the Europeans who make it into a an institution.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Nut to Butt posted:

what if we just kill the other team

is there a rule against that

I'd pay to watch this.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

USPS/Discovery is the best cycling team ever. 7 Tour wins by one guy, in a row. Record will not be broken.

homeless guy
Feb 23, 2019

by FactsAreUseless
you can't even use your hands

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

try riding up a fuckin mountain against all sorts of dirty doping euros on their home turf. its sweltering, but the only way is up. you have the best team, the best coaches, the best equipment, the best drugs, one ball and a single track mind that bridges autistic with psychopath. bitches get the gently caress out the way, USA.

deported to Canada
Jun 1, 2006

It would never take off in the states because you would have to wait 45 minutes for adverts.

Unless some kind of pop up advert for sports was used, flashing up to fill half the screen.

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust

deported to Canada posted:

It would never take off in the states because you would have to wait 45 minutes for adverts.

Unless some kind of pop up advert for sports was used, flashing up to fill half the screen.

Isn't there a major league soccer right now? And people like Bend it like Beckham have played in it. How do the adverts work for that?

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

I feel like if yoj just took a bunch of nfl players and stuck them on the soccer field they could still compete pretty well. Give them a year and they could whip most soccer teams

We steal their kickers to do field goals.

deported to Canada
Jun 1, 2006

Can't say I've seen it.

I watch tv exclusively for the adverts tbh.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Mu Zeta posted:

Isn't there a major league soccer right now? And people like Bend it like Beckham have played in it. How do the adverts work for that?

Nobody watches it so there's no advertisements.

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

America's most popular version of football constantly stops to allow players to get back into formations, has the most amount of reserve players and player substitutions per match and has the least amount of time spent engaged in physical exertion per individual of any football code. Its athletes are all highly specialized to a single role rather than broadly athletic generalists, leading to many living lifestyles that are actually kind of unhealthy rather than admirable.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Moon Atari posted:

America's most popular version of football constantly stops to allow players to get back into formations, has the most amount of reserve players and player substitutions per match and has the least amount of time spent engaged in physical exertion per individual of any football code. Its athletes are all highly specialized to a single role rather than broadly athletic generalists, leading to many living lifestyles that are actually kind of unhealthy rather than admirable.

Play me at competitive ping-pong.

Dr. Gojo Shioji
Apr 22, 2004

deported to Canada posted:

It would never take off in the states because you would have to wait 45 minutes for adverts.

Unless some kind of pop up advert for sports was used, flashing up to fill half the screen.

Nearly every auto race I've ever watched on American TV had enormous amounts of commercial breaks. Some series (e.g. NASCAR) are designed around this and actually do caution periods solely to allow time for longer breaks, but for stuff like Formula 1 and IndyCar you just have to accept that there will be a sizeable amount of race action that you'll miss. Also, the broadcaster will maybe do a tiny picture-in-picture break a few times a race and basically make it sound like they're doing you the world's biggest favor when they do. At least Liberty Media bought Formula 1 and put it on ESPN commercial-free now.

jokes
Dec 20, 2012

Uh... Kupo?

The amount of dedication, time, effort, and resources that have been flushed down the toilet by all the people who wanted to but don't make it to the NBA/NFL could probably have won a few wars at this point

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


Dr. Gojo Shioji posted:

Nearly every auto race I've ever watched

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5-lwTqiPiI

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Moon Atari posted:

America's most popular version of football constantly stops to allow players to get back into formations, has the most amount of reserve players and player substitutions per match and has the least amount of time spent engaged in physical exertion per individual of any football code. Its athletes are all highly specialized to a single role rather than broadly athletic generalists, leading to many living lifestyles that are actually kind of unhealthy rather than admirable.

The punter is literally just the guy with the big boot from the Australia Simpsons episode and every team just takes turns with him

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4uF-C13LlM

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
You have to go through an apprenticeship for 9 months before they let you hose out the mascot costumes without a supervisor

The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014

Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.
Soccer is a hosed up game.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Aesop Poprock posted:

You have to go through an apprenticeship for 9 months before they let you hose out the mascot costumes without a supervisor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lE8JAY0rp4

Roundup Ready
Mar 10, 2004

ACCIDENTAL SHIT POSTER


Peanut President posted:

yeah but then europeans would invent some new game to get haughty over

They still have cricket my dude

Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy
same op, but video games

ass cobra
May 28, 2004

by Azathoth
mods please dont let gbs post about 'soccer', these morons talking about it trolls me on a personal level

Tarantula
Nov 4, 2009

No go ahead stand in the fire, the healer will love the shit out of you.
American sports fans are boring compared to European football fans tho.

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

rear end cobra posted:

mods please dont let gbs post about 'soccer', these morons talking about it trolls me on a personal level

Targeting you personally is one of our primary aims. We all discuss strategies to best hurt you at length in our private messages and off sites.

el dingo
Mar 19, 2009


Ogres are like onions

Roundup Ready posted:

They still have cricket my dude

That's just england which isn't even really Europe anyway

Fat Jesus
Jul 13, 2011

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2023


eurokickyball is for children too soft for real football

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Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
But they don't, so.

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