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 I’m not typing this whilst drunk. Totally not. And no posts in this thread will be affected by alcohol. We’re not that kind of sport. Or supporter. Or gently caress. Um. I’ve lost my train of thought. Is this my AA meeting or Whoops no I was writing the NRL thread op. my bad. Won’t happen again. So anyway, this is the NRL thread. For those of you who aren’t connoisseurs of the greatest game of all, Rugby League is the sport that Betoota is always giving poo poo about because the players haven’t learnt to not spread viral videos of their sex lives/not spread viral viruses during their sex lives/not injuring people around for the crime of existing on the same planet as them/not finding new and exciting ways to enjoy the company of dogs. It’s also one of the most skilful, intense and manly sports in the world, requiring superhuman feats of endurance and strength for a continuous 80 minute period (plus overtime!). For everyone who has watched before, please remember we’re all here for you, and if you ever need any serious help please contact Burn Down Canberra – he doesn’t actually have a clue how to control his emotions but at least you’ll feel better knowing you’re not that insane. Please let us know if you have any questions about why we’re all crying throughout the year and hysterically ranting about bunkers. Oh, and feel free to pat our dog, he's very friendly when he gets to know you.  Whilst the NRL season is where we would normally expect most of the excitement happening in this sport, the off-season is always a wonderful font of joy for us all. Whether it's your club getting new and exciting signings, or the fact that one of the State of Origin matches will be being held in South Australia in 2020, we're all bubbling with golden stories on what seems like a regular basis. Which players will get the unexpected and wonderful opportunity to play in another country? Who will get the thrill of seeing their names in headlines, probably for their charitable actions or deeds? This is the thread for all of that wonder!  Rugby League. The greatest game of all Obviously the majority of posters here are well aware of what Rugby League is and how the game is played, but just like last year we’ve decided to embrace our game’s history and not be elitist pricks (that’s for the Rugby Union thread, and if you get that joke then I think you’ll fit in around here pretty well). As such, we're trying to be more welcoming and friendly to newcomers in order to spread the love of the game, like a viral video of one’s exciting late-night romps! Hopefully, through the prowess and play of our brilliant young athletes, you too will find yourself morbidly depressed regularly whilst you watch the usual suspects win yet another trophy! RULES OF THE GAME Like any sport, Rugby League has rules that govern how the game must go. Like all good sportsmen and women our fair-and-fabulous players always follow the rules, which I'll summarise below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvzUSmoY3sE In this video, you'll see a few things being demonstrated. Rugby League works a lot like gridiron, but has 6 tackles rather than 4 downs. You also don't get a new set by advancing down the field, only by the other team touching the ball. Every time you get tackled you must play the ball, like in the video. At each tackle the defense must retreat 10m downfield, and the offence must be behind the spot of the tackle. You can also see in the video that the tacklers must give the tacklee some space to play the ball, and if they don't they'll be appropriately punished, as shown. Finally, you'll see the wonderful level of respect that the players have for the referees, who we value and love whether our team wins or loses. Respect is important! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0eGtLSlFIc The second video shows a player waiting for a kick-off, similar to most team ball-sports. Everyone must be on their side of halfway, and the receiving team must be 10m downfield from the kickoff (which is at halfway). If they don't do that, the ref will get say something very mean to them, which nobody likes. Keep the refs happy, and everything will be golden!  This is what our field looks like, although normally we'll get the excitement of more sponsors' markings on the field and sometimes the thrill of varying amounts of sand to make it feel like a day at the beach! Grass is just so boring when it's uniform, right? To score points: TRY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF22erWYh7U Tries are the main way teams score points. The idea is to touch the ball to the ground on or behind the goalline, for which you're rewarded 4 points. Whilst this sounds simple, it can sometimes be very complex and hard to discern, so we have a brilliant Bunker system that will be called upon in nearly every circumstance to decide whether the player involved has been good or bad, and reward them with a try if they deserve it! The Bunker is a state-of-the-art technology which is always correct and is routinely lauded in the media for its incredible accuracy and consistency. CONVERSION https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9EDiEa6kD8 As a bonus for scoring a try you are allowed to kick the ball through the posts, which will get you an additional two points. The kick is taken perpendicular to the point on the field you scored the try (you can take it back as far as you want), which rewards teams who use exciting and skillful play to score under the posts, rather than going for simple and low-effort tries in the corners. PENALTY GOAL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KTPIHJvS2s Very similar to conversions, except awarded when a player commits an offence. As Rugby League players are always fair and honest gentlemen this is extremely rare. FIELD GOALS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU5zcrDvMDU&t=506s The most skillful and exciting form of scoring points, requiring players to dropkick the ball during ongoing play through the posts. As the degree of difficulty is so high, only the most talented proponents of the game dare attempt them, and only in the most extreme circumstances. Fittingly, for such an act of skill, the rewards are massive - one whole point! POSITIONS Each team in Rugby League consists of 13 specialised positions on the field, with 4 substitutes on the bench who, whilst equally talented, must wait to ply their trade. The team is seperated into backs and forwards, who each have general jobs to do on the field. Unlike gridiron, but like soccer, each player has the same ruleset - the positions are more to do with their basic tasks on the field. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glH2_p9GavM THE NRL The premier rugby league competition in the southern hemisphere, consisting of only the most skillful teams from Australia and New Zealand (plus Newcastle, Wests and New Zealand). All of the teams have CLUBS BRISBANE BRONCOS   Supporters: BlackShadow, BCR, GrunZicle, ili, Dirty Frank, Akileese, Airstream Driver, cpaf, BlindSite Who's in? 2019: Sean O'Sullivan (Roosters), Shaun Fensom (Cowboys), Richard Kennar (Rabbitohs) Who's out? 2019: Korbin Sims, Jonus Pearson (Dragons), Tom Opacic, Josh McGuire, Jordan Kahu (Cowboys), Marion Seve (Storm), Corey Allan (Rabbitohs) Retired: Sam Thaiday The perfect team for people who only have time to watch football on Thursday or Friday nights (possibly because their court date fell on the weekend), the Broncos are a ridiculously successful club who in no way can thank the fact that there are no other teams in their state for their success (for the purposes of this I’m assuming the Titans and Cowboys don’t exist, much like the finals have for most of each of their existences). Hailing from the glittering jewel of the north, East Toowoomba, the Broncos are a successful and promising unit who have successfully made the colour maroon an emblem of strength in the years prior to Queensland being successful for eternity. With a questionable recruitment off-season it’s a little hard to see how they’ll fare, but since they tend to play a fast-moving and dominant style, and the league tends to give them hilarious leg-ups whenever they can, it’s hard not to think that they’ll be competitive yet again. Joy. Why should you support them? You don’t care how much you look like a glory-hound, you bleed maroon (that might be the low-quality beer that is roughly half your blood volume, though). Last year: 6th CANTERBURY-BANKSTOWN BULLDOGS   Supporters: Dumpstar, Hyperriker, 50% Of FlickingFire (the indecisive parts), Gobbledock, woofbro Who's in? 2019: Jack Cogger, Nick Meaney (Knights), Christian Crichton, Corey Harawira-Naera (Panthers), Sauaso Sue (Wests Tigers), Dylan Napa (Roosters) Who's out? 2019: Josh Morris (Sharks), Brett Morris (Roosters), David Klemmer, Zac Woolford (Knights), Matt Frawley (Huddersfield), Lachlan Burr (Warriors), Greg Eastwood (Newtown) Released: Asipeli Fine, Clay Priest, Josh Cleeland The family club, with 100% less actual family members (like seriously, how do you let the Morrises go, they’re astronomically better than all the other outside backs they have). Skilful forwards have been brought in (if you consider Tigers cast-offs “skilful”), and even though they seem to be shopping in the bargain-bin of all the other clubs they historically have been pretty decent at manufacturing them into decent fillers. They'll again be relying on the skills of Kieran Foran, who has shown to many clubs over the last few years how great an influence he can be on their fortunes. Why should you support them? You’ve just moved into a new house in Sydney’s south and are getting the distinct feeling you might get shanked if you don’t participate in the weekly dinners with the streets’ Nonnas. Last year: 12th CANBERRA RAIDERS   Supporters: Burn Down Canberra, aejix, TheHeadSage's soft spot, garycoleisgod Who's in? 2019: Ryan Sutton, John Bateman (Wigan), JJ Felise (Knights), Charnze Nicoll-Klokstad (Warriors) Who's out? 2019: Shannon Boyd (Titans), Junior Paulo (Eels), Blake Austin (Warrington), Charlie Gubb (Widnes), Mikaele Ravalawa (Dragons), Liam Knight (Rabbitohs), Craig Garvey (Roosters) What can I say about the Raiders that I haven’t said before. I mean, literally, since they finished in the exact same position with one more loss and only a fractionally-worse +/-. They’re a team that found a great framework a couple of years ago for excitement, and have since stagnated into mid-table mediocrity when I keep predicting they’ll go nuts. I can’t imagine what it’d be like supporting them, I would probably change my name in embarrassment. They’ve got the cattle on the park, and have cut some dead-weight (who mere moments ago looked like instant top-level starters). I’m not sure what the solution is, but you can guarantee they’ll find it (probably shortly before losing it again for no reason). Why should you support them? Do you live in Canberra? What else are you going to do on the cold, winter nights in the middle of nowhere - watch repeats of Question Time? (if you don’t live in Canberra, this still applies if you live anywhere equally boring) Last year: 10th CRONULLA SHARKS   Supporters: Lacklustre Hero, Big Steveo, elgarbo Who's in? 2019: Josh Morris (Bulldogs), Shaun Johnson (Sharks) Who's out? 2019: Jesse Ramien, Edrick Lee (Knights), Ricky Leutele (Toronto), Kurt Dillon (Rabbitohs), Joseph Paulo (St Helens), Valentine Holmes (NFL opportunity) Retired: Luke Lewis Ok, let’s get all the cheating jokes out of the way early. Yes, they’ve been found guilty of cheating for the years before they won the premiership, and the years after, and have been finding new and exciting ways to do so every year. But we in no way are suggesting that the NRL hosed up the year they won the premiership when it was revealed right before the finals that they might be cheating again, and the NRL just handwaved it away and let them compete anyway (and win). There’s no hint that the NRL might be saving face by just pretending they were totally fine. None at all. They have managed to keep a consistently high position on the ladder, though, and the last team that managed to do that was the Storm in the 00’s, who eventually had to have their titles stripped. So stay tuned. As for their team, when they’re not taking drugs or being banned from establishments en masse they’re extremely talented, so I assume they’ll still be near the top of the ladder until the NRL finally works out a way to get themselves out of the hole they’ve dug themselves. That, or everyone just forgets about it when the next team takes over the mantle of “obvious cheats”. Why should you support them? A team in sky blue? Winning a trophy? How could I not love them? Last year: 4th GOLD COAST TITANS   Supporters: oystertoadfish, Redeye Flight, Sojobo, Byolante Who's in? 2019: Tyrone Peachey (Panthers), Shannon Boyd (Raiders), Tyrone Roberts (Warrington), Jesse Arthars (Rabbitohs), Ryley Jacks (Storm), Brian Kelly (Sea Eagles), Treymain Spry (Roosters) Who's out? 2019: Kane Elgey, Brendan Elliot (Sea Eagles), Konrad Hurrell (Leeds) Released/Unsigned: Tyronne Roberts-Davis, Tony Mata'utia Retired: Brenton Lawrence, Ryan Simpkins It feels bad being too mean to the Titans. Yes, my wife is a big fan of theirs, and drags me to a lot of their home games. On the upside, they typically lose those, so at least it’s funny. They also managed to improve one whole position on the ladder last year, so they are edging further away from a wooden spoon! They’ve had another year of mass squad rotation, so it’s the typical case where they look like they’ve got some decent players on paper, but who knows how they’ll play. The Glitter Strip has been a graveyard for careers since the club’s foundation, but at some point they have to play well, right? Right? Ah, gently caress it, at least they have some nice beaches to enjoy in September when they most certainly won’t be doing anything football-related. Why should you support them? Do you have a lot on in September and won’t want to be wasting time watching football? Do you like the colour blue but live in Queensland? Do like popping pills and dancing to Thunderstruck? Do I have a club for you! Last year: 14th MANLY SEA-EAGLES   Supporters: The Deadly Hume, Crawfoot, Fanatic Who's in? 2019: Kane Elgey, Brendan Elliot (Titans), Corey Waddell (Panthers), Reuben Garrick (Dragons) Who's out? 2019: Aku Uate (Huddersfield), Shaun Lane (Eels), Tom Wright (rugby union), Brian Kelly (Titans), Matt Wright (CQ Capras) Retired: Jonathan Wright, Lewis Brown Ok, that was a funny year. From a decent position in 2017 thread-favourites Manly decided that having massive public in-fighting, open mutinies against the coach, non-existent defence, and a pathetically anaemic attack were the things they were missing. Strangely this put them into free-fall, and they found themselves on the wrong end of a 7-17 record. Luckily the Eels exist so they didn’t come last, but it was still a great collapse by NRL standards. Unfortunately they seem to have stabilised the ship, or at least are getting better at sniping each other behind closed doors, so unless a couple of players go to a regional strip-club and duke it out they may start moving in the right direction. They’ve gone on a shopping spree at the Titans, which isn’t generally a clever move, but they might be able to make it work. If nothing else, it should be pretty funny if they start poorly, since there’s not a lot of patience and goodwill on the Northern Beaches at the moment. Why should you support them? Do you hate public transport and haven’t travelled outside the peninsula your entire life (and don’t intend to)? Support the Sea Eagles and you’ll never need to leave Brookvale ever again! Last year: 15th MELBOURNE STORM   Supporters: piss explosion, Franko, I Love Sanchize, TheHeadSage 2019: Marion Seve (Broncos) Who's out? 2019: Tim Glasby (Knights), Ryley Jacks (Titans), Lachlan Timm (Dragons) Retired: Billy Slater, Ryan Hoffman This should be a golden time in our lives. The big three are starting to retire, the quality players are jumping ship, and Cam Smith is having to wear his petulant angry-face more and more often. Even the Tigers managed to beat them twice last year! Unfortunately, being Melbourne, the dark magic of AAMI Park is still in effect, and they still managed to get a great record and make the grand final. Thank gently caress they lost, although we’ll talk more about that later. They’re a great team at turning nobodies and old failures into a tight unit, so even though their work in the transfer market seems terrible you can’t write them off. They’ll probably still end up at the pointy end of the comp, mores the pity. God I can’t wait to write one of these things when they actually collapse. I may die of joy. Why should you support them? Do you like winning? Do you want all the trophies? Do you not care that everyone hates you? Welcome to the club. Last year: 2nd (grand finalists) NEWCASTLE KNIGHTS   Supporters: bowmore, Mackay, fuckpot, LuckySevens Who's in? 2019: Tim Glasby (Storm), Jesse Ramien, Edrick Lee (Sharks), Mason Lino, James Gavet (Warriors), David Klemmer, Zac Woolford (Bulldogs), Hymel Hunt (Rabbitohs), Kurt Mann (Dragons) Who's out? 2019: Jack Cogger, Nick Meaney (Bulldogs), Brock Lamb (Roosters), Ken Sio (Salford), JJ Felise (Raiders), Cory Denniss (Rabbitohs), Luke Yates (London), Dylan Phythian (Burleigh), Pat Mata'utia (Wests Newcastle) Retired: Chris Heighington, Jacob Lillyman ATTENTION ALL READERS: THE KNIGHTS DIDN’T GET THE SPOON LAST YEAR! THE CURSE IS BROKEN! After an eternity of being far-and-away the worst team in the league, the Knights cut nearly a full team of players, made some smart moves in the market, wrung some decent play out of some local heroes, and against all predictions put together a good year (by their standards). They didn’t get into positive territory (9-15 with -193 +/-), but still, 11th is a fuckload better than 16th (yet again). These guys are a thread favourite, whose extremely loyal fans have weathered some truly horrific performances in the last few years, so everybody wishes them well. They’ve continued last year’s trip to the dump by cutting another ream of dead-weight and making some decent-looking signings, so every sign suggests they should be able to (at least) maintain their current heady ladder position, if not improve. Why should you support them? Sharing their colours with the equally successful A-League team of the same city, it's always nice that there's a quick visual guide when glancing at a game of theirs to know if their opponent will be getting a win today! Last year: 11th    This may be the only ring they ever get Supporters: Jono C, Ewar Woowar, Smorgasbord, Vagabundo, Thel Who's in? 2019: Leeson Ah Mau (Dragons), Lachlan Burr (Bulldogs), Adam Keighran (Panthers ISP) Who's out? 2019: Anthony Gelling (Widnes), Mason Lino, James Gavet (Knights), Shaun Johnson (Sharks), Charnze Nicoll-Klokstad (Raiders) Released: Joseph Vuna (Mormon mission) Retired: Simon Mannering Another forum-favourite, and perennial cause for alcoholism. The Warriors play an uptempo form of the game that, when it works, can be devastating and unstoppable. Their major downfall is usually the fact that they have no idea when not to play crazy-ball, and capitulate with depressing regularity when it seems that any sensible play will get the points. Last year they had a very successful year, breaking into the finals with a strong record before being summarily turfed out by the other surprise packet, Penrith. Their team has been pretty stable in the off-season, so there’s little reason to think they might be heading back to the doldrums, except for how they cope with the loss of mercurial livewire Shaun Johnson. Time will tell how much that will hurt, since he’s been dragging their attack along for years. Why should you support them? Do you live in NZ, or the Gold Coast? Are you the only person in your family that doesn’t like Rugby Union? Do I need to say anything else? Last year: 8th NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS   Supporters: foolish fool, 50% of FlickingFire (the less-successful indecisive parts) Who's in? 2019: Tom Opacic, Josh McGuire, Jordan Kahu (Broncos), Ben Barba (St Helens) (lol), Nene Macdonald (Dragons), Kurt Baptiste (Roosters) Who's out? 2019: Lachlan Coote (St Helens), Kane Linnett (Hull KR), Shaun Fensom (Broncos), Sam Hoare Josh Chudleigh, Kyle Laybutt, Shaun Hudson (all Townsville), Ethan Lowe (Rabbitohs), Ben Barba (terminated) Retired: Johnathan Thurston, Antonio Winterstein Well, the end had to come sometime. After finally reaching the summit and living up to the potential of their squad and the weight of the North’s expectations, there was only one way the Cowboys could go. With JT finally looking his age, and having shipped off their newest wunderkind to the Knights (thanks very much, say the Hunter region), the Cowboys looked a shell of themselves. Constantly finding new and exciting ways to lose, and with a home ground rapidly losing its aura of fear, the ‘Boys returned to their traditional home near the foot of the ladder. They’ve got a new stadium on the way, but they’re definitely in a rebuilding phase. Who will take up the mantle from their legendary hero? Who can lead them back to glory? Well, it probably won’t be Ben Barba, who’s managed to get himself banned before round 1. Truly the best signing. Why should you support them? A wise friend who moved to Townsville from Parramatta gave me some advice one day: “if people here see me in any jersey that doesn’t have a Cowboys logo on it they’ll run my business out of town and burn my house to the ground”. If that’s not the passionate fanbase that everyone should aspire to be a part of, I don’t know what is. Last year: 13th PARRAMATTA EELS   Supporters: Saul Goode, Danoss, spacegoat Who's in? 2019: Junior Paulo (Raiders), Blake Ferguson (Roosters), Shaun Lane (Sea Eagles), Andrew Davey (Townsville Blackhawks), Maika Sivo (Panthers) Who's out? 2019: Suaia Matagi (Huddersfield), Corey Norman (Dragons), Cameron King (Featherstone) Released: Nathan Davis, Siosaia Vave, Tony Williams, Jarryd Hayne Retired: Beau Scott, Kirisome Auva'a Speaking of teams that regressed to the mean... A few years ago the Eels had a great team. They made a grand final, were dominant, but couldn’t quite get the job done. Then they had a horror patch where they helped the Knights and Titans prop up the bottom of the ladder for a few years. Then, it all changed. They bought well, developed players intelligently, and became a powerhouse again. Last year the wheels not only fell off, but also drove off an embankment and exploded into flames. Basically, think the natural lifecycle of a Tesla. They managed to lose ¾ of their matches in more and more hilarious ways, finding new and exciting methods of flubbing leads and collapsing into quivering wrecks. They’ve still got most of the same team, though, and have made some good signings, so theoretically they should be a contender. Will they get back up the ladder again, or is this slump going to be a continuing source of merriment for us all? Why should you support them? It’s not finished yet, but their new stadium looks incredible. It should be an awesome place to watch football, and although by supporting them you’ll have to watch a lot of Eels games you might be making an investment in comfortable success (if they remember how to win at some point). Last year: 16th PENRITH PANTHERS   Supporters: Mootallica, Pig in the City Who's in? 2019: Tim Grant, Malakai Watene-Zelezniak (Wests Tigers), Tyrell Fuimaono (Rabbitohs), Hame Sele (Dragons) Who's out? 2019: Christian Crichton, Corey Harawira-Naera (Bulldogs), Tyrone Peachey (Titans), Maika Sivo (Eels), Corey Waddell (Sea Eagles), Trent Merrin (Leeds) Retired: Peter Wallace, Tim Browne The family’s back together again! Sure, everyone said that they’d totally see out their contracts, but we all know in professional sports that a contract is merely a suggestion, and nothing can keep the bonds of father and son apart for long. Especially when there’s money talking. After a big clean-out and rebuild, the Panthers are roaring again. They consolidated their premiership credentials, re-signed some important players, and got rid of even more dead-weight. If they hadn’t come unstuck at the end they may well be defending premiers, but with a little more experience they’ll be well-suited for a shot at the title. Of course, if there’s any signs of wobbling Big Gus is right there to bring down the Fire Hammer, so the Cleary Clan better make sure they’re doing everything the puppet-master wants – we’ve all seen what happens when he’s not happy… Why should you support them? You’ve supported other teams, but there’s always been that dream. That desire. That pull of family at your heart-strings. The West is calling…………. Last year: 5th ST GEORGE-ILLAWARRA DRAGONS   Supporters: heladocasero, Gregorio Who's in? 2019: Korbin Sims, Jonus Pearson (Broncos), Mikaele Ravalawa (Raiders/Mounties), Lachlan Timm (Storm), Lachlan Maranta (rugby union), Corey Norman (Eels) Who's out? 2019: Leeson Ah Mau, Patrick Herbert (Warriors), Nene Macdonald (Cowboys), Reuben Garrick (Sea Eagles), Hame Sele (Panthers), Kurt Mann (Knights) Retired: Jason Nightingale 2020: Gareth Widdop (Warrington) The St George Dragons (lol @ anyone who actually mentions the heritage of Illawarra without laughing, trust me, it’ll never come up all year either here or in literally any official capacity) are one of the most successful clubs ever, with an intense rivalries with the other old clubs and striking uniforms. Perhaps unfairly, they’ve been branded as one of the most boring clubs to watch, but they’ve put a lot of effort in recent years into getting more attacking weapons which has translated into slowly crawling back into finals contention. They’ve made a smattering of good and questionable signings, but with a strong core you’d expect them to continue being a solid upper-mid-table team. Why should you support them? Sure, you’ll get called a past-glory-hound for following them, but you like knowing what you’re going to get from your team. You probably won’t win anything, but you’ll likely win more than you lose and that’s all you care about. Last year: 7th SOUTH SYDNEY RABBITOHS   Supporters: Mills, Penguin Radar, Antitonic, SeekOtherCandidate Who's in? 2019: Kurt Dillon (Sharks), Bayley Sironen (Wests Tigers), Corey Allan (Broncos), Cory Dennis (Knights), Liam Knight (Raiders), Tom Amone (Blacktown Workers Sea Eagles), Ethan Lowe (Cowboys) Who's out? 2019: Jason Clark (Warrington), Angus Crichton (Roosters), Jesse Arthars (Titans), Tyrell Fuimaono (Panthers), Hymel Hunt (Knights), Robert Jennings, Zane Musgrove (Wests Tigers), Vincent Leuluai (North Sydney), Richard Kennar (Broncos) At the beginning of last year I was a bit perplexed at trying to work out what the Rabbitohs were going to do. They’d barely bought anyone, had come 12th, and didn’t look to be making any headway moving in a positive direction. Welp. They came =1st (3rd on +/-) and looked great across the park. Certainly showed me. Of course, the intelligent decision they’ve subsequently made is to have a heap of transfers, because why would you try to continue on the same successful tack? Souths are the oldest team in the league, and one of the most successful (a fact that their fans and the commentators and media will repeat roughly a billion times during the year). They’ve been garbage before, champions often, and could well be wildly swinging back to the bottom again. Who knows? Not me. I’m giving up on trying to work out what the hell is going on over there. Why should you support them? You’ve been indoctrinated by the one loudmouthed Souths fan at work and now there is only cardinal and myrtle in your life. Last year: 3rd SYDNEY ROOSTERS   Supporters: Ribbo, Apollodorus, Green Eggs and Sam Who's in? 2019: Angus Crichton (Rabbitohs), Ryan Hall (Leeds), Brett Morris (Bulldogs), Brock Lamb (Knights), Craig Garvey (Raiders) Who's out? 2019: Blake Ferguson (Eels), Paul Momirovski, Ryan Matterson (Wests Tigers), Sean O'Sullivan (Broncos), Kurt Baptiste (Cowboys), Dylan Napa (Bulldogs), Treymain Spry (Titans) Released: Reece Robinson Retired: Frank-Paul Nuuausala, Eloni Vunakece, Mitch Cornish Ok, I’ll own up to it. I jinxed us all. Whilst pretending to be nice to them in last year’s OP, I put an acrostic insulting them repeatedly. I angered the gods. Sure, some might point to their insane buying spree where they bought two of the best players in Origin football simultaneously, or the fact that their hilariously “within the salary cap” team has so many international stars that you would normally expect them to be in 3 teams. It really shouldn’t be surprising they both came 1st and won the Grand Final – they’re just that good. Now, this typically engenders feelings of anger and disdain from pretty much anyone who isn’t a Roosters fan – think the Patriots but somehow even more hated. The fury is doubled because they’re also one of the least supported teams, with low numbers of members and almost nobody turning up to games. Might just be because they’re from the richest part of the country, and those people probably wouldn’t debase themselves by touching the same seats as the poor. I may be projecting my own feelings here, a bit. Why should you support them? You want everyone here to hate you. We dare you. Try to pick them and justify it. We love a challenge. Last year: 1st (minor premiers, and premiers) WESTS TIGERS   Supporters: iajanus, Contra Duck, Abalone Malone, Gorbash, emjayelle, MacDougall, Minisune Who's in? 2019: Paul Momirovski, Ryan Matterson (Roosters), Robert Jennings, Zane Musgrove* (Rabbitohs) Who's out? 2019: Tui Lolohea (Leeds), Kevin Naiqama (St Helens), Sauaso Sue (Bulldogs), Bayley Sironen (Rabbitohs), Tim Grant, Malakai Watene-Zelezniak (Panthers), Pita Godinet (Villeneuve) Well, that went better than expected (and then the offseason happened and the bus caught fire). With new coach Ivan Cleary at the helm, the Tigers went on a massive restructuring of the playing squad, with mass changes and a key emphasis on youth. After starting brilliantly the team stagnated by midseason, and in a panic the club brought back some legends from their only real successful season a decade ago. They flitted with possibly making the finals, but ultimately fell just short. Still, better than the spoon-fight the year before (they also finished 12-12, so yay for not having a negative year!). And then the offseason came. First Ivan got off the bus because of a campaign of undermining by Gus Gould to get him to come back to the Panthers (which he’d only left because Gus fired him). Then a bunch of players were let go, with only a small number of purchases that barely filled the gaps. They’ve had a player in court, and a minor salary-cap issue that distracted everyone for a bit. This is slightly different to last year’s smooth offseason, so hopefully it doesn’t set dynamite under 2019 for them. This will be the last year for some club legends, so it’ll be interesting to see if they can get the band back together properly and have a great send-off. Time will tell. Why should you support them? When they’re playing their best, the Tigers are one of the most exciting teams in the league. They’re often given a long leash to play crazy, and it leads to a lot of fun footy when it works. You will need to be OK with them screwing up, though, as the other side of the excitement coin is a nightmarish hellscape of pain that has driven many of us to alcoholism and destroying TVs. You have been warned (but come aboard the bus, it’s fun here!). Last year: 9th ERRATA NORTH SYDNEY  People who still brilliantly hold memberships: aejix, iajanus, quite a few other geniuses We still dream… One day… The Bears shall return and take their rightful spot in our hearts… And for our fans of iajanus fucked around with this message at 11:58 on Mar 16, 2019 |
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Mar 13, 2019 05:45
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Excellent OP. Broncos are my sneaky pick for the minor prem this year. I know I'm biased and it's based off a big if but if their forward pack which seems to be a mix of enormous youngsters and savvy veterans can fire and if we get the milf of 2017 rather than last year they'll be stupid hard to beat. Also fire Darius Boyd into the sun and put Isaako at fullback for gently caress sake. I also think this is the year the storm fall off dramatically especially since drinkwater died in the preseason.
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Mar 13, 2019 06:27
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having just discovered this thread i look forward to poo poo posting about the NRL for the rest of the year.
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Mar 13, 2019 06:38
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Yeah I'm almost willing to put money on the Storm missing the eight, I think they're definitely on the way down and it's just a matter of time till they're forced down to the rest of us. Or who knows, they'll just Roosters it and buy whoever the Queensland halves are.
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Mar 13, 2019 06:54
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it's surprising hard trying to find videos of Ricky Stuart carrying on like a pork chop
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Mar 13, 2019 07:02
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I did sympathise with him during his rant about refs and the perceived lack of accountability for their mistakes a couple of seasons ago. At the very least, Ricky had a valid point.
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Mar 13, 2019 07:13
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BlindSite posted:I also think this is the year the storm fall off dramatically especially since drinkwater died in the preseason. I am so loving sad about this. He looked good in the first trial game why yes I am storm trash
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Mar 13, 2019 07:20
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Hello! I have decided to participate in discussion about our glorious, completely scandal free (this week...so far) sport of rugby league. Let's see how long that last! Things that I hate: Parramatta - both team and city, Paul "poo poo oval office" Gallen, the sharks, Manly, the Rooster, Phil "poo poo oval office" Rothfield, and St. George in roughly that order.
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Mar 13, 2019 07:22
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Nice work iaj. Finally the lull between cricket finishing and NRL & F1 starting is over. Also, 7 posts in and nobody has said the dreaded words gently caress Manly. Let's try and make it a whole page! 
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Mar 13, 2019 07:24
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tigerdriver82 posted:Things that I hate: Parramatta - both team and city, Paul "poo poo oval office" Gallen, the sharks, Manly, the Rooster, Phil "poo poo oval office" Rothfield, and St. George in roughly that order. You are among friends here sir.
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Mar 13, 2019 07:38
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Vagabundo posted:I did sympathise with him during his rant about refs and the perceived lack of accountability for their mistakes a couple of seasons ago. At the very least, Ricky had a valid point. agree, i found my self nodding while watching those i really wanted to find a video of him on the side line, kicking poo poo and screaming. edit: Refs should have press conference though. the major on field issue for fans, is the lack of consistency in the calls made. end of the day, your average football fan doesn't care what player X does on the weekend with a dog, taxi driver, etc... that being said, if it's a criminal act, then maybe being banned from a kids game isn't a bad idea. Abalone Malone fucked around with this message at 07:57 on Mar 13, 2019 |
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Mar 13, 2019 07:44
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Yeah, he's a complete loon but he's not always wrong. Always worth a watch, never know when he's going to go full Ricky. And if any new people want to declare allegiances and get put in the relevant sections of the OP for eternity let me know. All of the rest of us owned up to our terrible mistakes, come join the party! Offer especially valid for Roosters and Sea Eagles fans.
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Mar 13, 2019 07:56
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Ricky's such a wanker (wrt footy, outside that he seems like a real good bloke) he manages to be wrong even when he's right. Whatever validity his comments about refs being held accountable had, they're just piss and wind covering up the fact that he doesn't want to be held accountable for being a poo poo coach.
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Mar 13, 2019 08:06
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iajanus posted:
iajanus posted:
my poo poo team
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Mar 13, 2019 08:25
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Top OP. good work. Can you loving believe it's been NINE years since Joel Monaghan disrespected that mutt
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Mar 13, 2019 09:06
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Did the Rabbitohs get relegated
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Mar 13, 2019 09:09
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snaeksikn posted:Did the Rabbitohs get relegated no idea what you're talking about copied the whole clubs section across from my word doc again in one go; that's what i get for copying as I was going. let me know if anything else is obviously wrong
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Mar 13, 2019 09:26
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iajanus posted:And if any new people want to declare allegiances and get put in the relevant sections of the OP for eternity let me know. All of the rest of us owned up to our terrible mistakes, come join the party! I am 100% certified Storm trash, come at me bro. I also have a soft spot for the Raiders, they are my sprit team, as they just exist, doing their own thing, neither winning or losing. It's beautiful.
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Mar 13, 2019 10:00
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Awesome work as always, iajanus.tigerdriver82 posted:Hello! I like the cut of your jib.
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Mar 13, 2019 10:30
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As always, thanks for maintaining an OP.
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Mar 13, 2019 10:36
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TheHeadSage posted:I am 100% certified Storm trash, come at me bro. This year ought to be fun  . Welcome to the party, it'll be nice to have a happy person around here for once!
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Mar 13, 2019 10:57
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thank you for the nice coverage of the knights iajanus, congrats on finishing the op before alcoholism finished you
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Mar 13, 2019 10:59
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bowmore posted:thank you for the nice coverage of the knights iajanus, congrats on finishing the op before alcoholism finished you My last action before I eventually succumb to some sort of alcoholism-related death will be passing the thread keys onto iaJunior to continue my legacy
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Mar 13, 2019 11:00
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Superleague writeup: It's loving cold and wet, but sometimes you get to go to France
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Mar 13, 2019 11:51
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That's more than I was given last year so if nobody else steps up it's going in
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Mar 13, 2019 11:59
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Super League is actually off to a pretty good start since getting their own CEO and adopting some NRL rules this year. Some good games with some surprising results.
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Mar 13, 2019 12:22
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Super League is also live on Fox NRL friday and Saturday mornings for Australian viewers. Speaking of which annual reminder that the nrl app is free to all Telstra mobile customers who dont have AFL app (you can choose either not both). Or if you dont have Fox or Telstra, but you have a family member or friend who has Fox, you can use one of their Foxtel Go logins without drama even if not in the same state. Bonus if they have a second Fox box (multiroom) because that now unlocks casting so you can cast from your phone to a chromecast. MiniSune fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Mar 13, 2019 |
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Mar 13, 2019 20:09
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Or just get Kayo for $25 a month and get all of Fox Sports.
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Mar 13, 2019 23:06
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iajanus posted:Or just get Kayo for $25 a month and get all of Fox Sports. This is the best option because it includes more than the NRL.
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Mar 14, 2019 01:01
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OR just follow this thread where you can watch meltdowns about our dumb teams being criminally insane and sometimes read about results from a game these guys play in-between dog rape and labia sushi.
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Mar 14, 2019 01:05
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E: still showers Union in dicks.
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Mar 14, 2019 01:07
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MiniSune posted:Speaking of which annual reminder that the nrl app is free to all Telstra mobile customers who dont have AFL app (you can choose either not both). I'm with Telstra and bought a phone case that folds into a little stand, pretty much just for this app.
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Mar 14, 2019 04:21
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iajanus posted:And if any new people want to declare allegiances and get put in the relevant sections of the OP for eternity let me know. All of the rest of us owned up to our terrible mistakes, come join the party! iajanus posted:
Because this description sadly is a 100% accurate picture of me. I find the way to avoid pain is just to assume the Raiders are going to lose every week and hold onto this feeling no matter what until full-time (for newcomers, no matter the score the Raiders haven't won until it's all over). Then depending on the result, I am either happy that I correctly picked the winner or surprised that they didn't poo poo the bed for once. Wighton at 5/8 is gonna be poo poo.
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Mar 14, 2019 04:25
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Excellent op as always In a, also mark me down as another Bronco supporter. Also, if anyone is keen there's 4 spots left in a dream team league I am in. If interested in joining please do so as we aren't great at it and you will likely win! Address: https://sportsdeck.com/au/nrl/dreamteam/#/lobby League code/name: DPRKRL
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Mar 14, 2019 06:02
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As an unashamed Sharks supporter I am excited for this season and seeing what new depths of depraved conduct we, as a club, can dig ourselves into.
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Mar 14, 2019 08:17
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Had to suffer a tram full of Bronco's supporters. Round 1 already sucks.
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Mar 14, 2019 09:53
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Bring on the big dumb muscly idiot game!
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Mar 14, 2019 10:06
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Oh hey how does reply work Broncos looking rattled, very underdone. Wish I'd been able to watch them against Wynnum. iajanus fucked around with this message at 10:42 on Mar 14, 2019 |
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Mar 14, 2019 10:29
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20 metre line is lava for broncos. Brisbane lookin' really gassed.
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Mar 14, 2019 10:54
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iajanus posted:Oh hey how does reply work They look tired as gently caress with like 10 minutes to go in the first.
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Mar 14, 2019 10:55
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