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Sep 21, 2002

Wanna see a demonstration of my school? It's called "Eight Leaves, One Very Big Stick"!

Taco Defender


You are busy surfing your favorite dead gay comedy forum. You notice a thread started by the site owner.

> read thread

Lowtax posted:

Oh Jesus I'm so loving broke that I literally have a negative balance on my checking account... thank you, outrageous medical bills and bastard pharmaceutical companies. I'm like $60,000 in debt because of all the poo poo I've been through the last two years. Had two vertebrae in my neck just completely break apart, causing the entire nervous system on the left side of my body to eventually seize up into so much pain that I collapsed because I couldn't control the entire left side of my body (after four months of me three different telling doctors I'm suffering from nerve pain, and them insisting it was actually muscle pain, and would give me muscle relaxers that didn't do jack poo poo) and had to get taken to the ER. They got my insurance and after six hours of waiting, they brought me in and did a bunch of tests and next day said "yeah, it's nerve pain, C5 and C7 in your neck collapsed, and pieces of your broken discs are actually being pushed out of your spine, and if you don't get immediate surgery to fix it, you'll probably suffer a stroke and die." So that was cool. Then I find a neurologist and I give him the CD they give you of all your test results, and he asked, "why did they do all these tests on you? Most of these were completely unnecessary," and I said I have no loving idea. He removed the discs, put metal or plastic or some poo poo into my neck, and fused them together. They gave me fentanyl and I was like "dear christ, life is good, I'm not injured at all, I want to dance." Then it turns out that I actually have to be basically in bed for a loving year or some such poo poo, which is pretty much where I've been the last loving year or some poo poo.

> z

Lowtax posted:

Okay so after the surgery, about a month after I visited the ER, the ER calls me and says "we don't take your insurance." I asked what, and they said "yeah we don't take it, sorry." Then came a loving bill for over $60,000. THAT'S why they ran all the stupid rear end tests, to spike the bill." So my wife is from Canada, and she made the mistake of sending them some money to get them off our backs. It didn't work, and they sent it to a collection agency. So now my credit is hosed and I'm in the hole for sixty grand.

And here's another cool part. About six months ago, I noticed my left hand would get paralyzed when I was doing random poo poo (not jerking off). I ignored it because I'm trying to never see a loving doctor again. However, the paralysis has gotten more and more frequent. So I sucked it up and went back to the neurologist. He took an MRI and said "oh, when I did your fusion, I noticed some degradation in C3, but at the time it wasn't bad enough for me to operate on." You absolutely loving know where this is going. The only drug I can take to prevent my arm from locking up is Lyrica, and a one month supply is $546. And you know where THIS is absolutely loving going.

> z

Lowtax posted:

So I've got -$91 in my business checking account because honestly, never in my life, would I expect to just suddenly have my goddamn vertebrae collapse because of reasons (apparently some lucky people just get it and their discs break apart. Has nothing to do with physical activity, so no, Uwe Boll didn't beat the discs out of my neck, it's just a thing random people have. And I'm going to have to go through this AGAIN. And my loving deductible is $7,000. For office visits, my pharmacy deductible is $7,000 as well. Both different. Thanks insurance industry.

Yeah words, but that's what's been up with me, and I'm going to have to do a fundraiser thing because bandwidth costs are somehow rising here (??? we're dead and gay), and between that and child support and my massive loving never goddamn ending debt, I'm hosed nine weeks from Sunday. I don't know what that means, but it's bad. And not good. Things are bad with me, and not good.

> look


You are sitting at your computer in a dark basement. There is an exit to the east.

> e


You can't remember the last time your legs were able to support your bulbous mass without immediately buckling. Besides, the outside world is a scary place, full of light, and... people. Who you have to interact with in person.

> i


You are carrying:
- neckbeard
- no pants
- wallet

> open wallet


The wallet contains
- not nearly enough cash
- a major credit card

> examine card


You don't THINK it's maxed out, but you did buy that body pillow with your favorite character on it last week...

> help lowtax


Stabbey_the_Clown fucked around with this message at Mar 15, 2019 around 17:57


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