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1 D For some reason I think instruments tune a little differently here than on Earth, and we'd best take impeccable care of them
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Apr 9, 2019 05:18
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2 E
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Apr 9, 2019 05:23
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1, because who says the last big thing we put in there is a toilet? Could be useful to stow more big things later. B, because we really, really need more info on this place. Look for places the band can stay without too many questions, assess the quality of roadie that can be found here, so-on and so-forth.
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Apr 9, 2019 05:26
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1BD goddamn I love this batshit thread already
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Apr 9, 2019 17:04
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2ACD If we're grabbing gear, we obviously need a Sniper Rifle because Sniping is essentially weaponized math. Not that we'll need to shoot anything, but Gunz is Funz.
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Apr 10, 2019 04:48
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Alright, looks like the votes are in.
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Apr 11, 2019 23:52
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MEGAMINIVOTE 1) Jett Black - Sound Technician quote:Black lipstick, black eyeliner, black hair, black clothes, pale white skin. Don't call her goth or she'll rip your heart out and eat it. Quite literally! This Vampiress is a true mistress of the soundboard. Utilizing her supernatural senses, she's able to tune instruments and equalize systems with deadly accuracy. She was fires from her last gig after she tuned a guitar so well it blew a hole through the chest of a dragon. Which, you know, pissed it off since it was just there for a sweet show. She takes her payment in both cash and blood 2) Joe the Immortal - Driver quote:Joe's not really immortal, but he is very very old. So old that he farts dust. He can't go anywhere without his rebreather mask and portable oxygen compressor. Frail enough that a stiff wind might just crack him in half. But behind the wheel, he's a true maestro of the motor. He has more miles under him than any driver on Vanguard and is the twelve time champion of the Motorhead Public Deathrace. He used to be so smooth behind the wheel his nickname was 'Baby'. But that was some time ago and Joe's now past his prime. He's still a hell of a driver, though. 3) Gundarr of Bloodonia - Scourge of the Sixlands, Slayer of Thraxx the Undying, Champion of the Heartforge Arena, Eater of Spleens (it was one time!), Mechanic quote:Gundarr is a Gundarian, a barbarian that uses guns. Which is pretty sweet and also rare as well. It gave him a bit of an advantage against regular barbarians what with the whole using only melee weapons and stuff. Not that Gundarr doesn't like getting up close and personal. His weapons of choice are his four- barrelled shotguns BattleAxe and Tiffany and he really knows how to make them sing. Reloading in the middle of a fight while cracking skulls with his studded boots and singing the warsong of Dakka, the many-barrelled God of Gundarians, he is truely a terrifying sight. Also he's an ok mechanic. 4) Hardwire - a real wizard with electronics quote:Hardwire is an electrical genius. Which makes sense since he's a robot. Not one of those flashy, humanoid, bi-pedal types though, hell no. A good ol' fashioned boxbot. With lots of flashy lights and buttons that do nothing and a head with straight off a toy. He's been at the electrician game a long time and has recently grown bored of it and so he programmed himself to learn magic. He's not very good at it, only knowing a couple of defensive spells, but damnit he's trying. All spells are lightning based and will have shocking results. 5) Dicksmasher - Smasher of dicks and dicklike things quote:This guy smashes dicks. That's it, that's all he does. He smashes dicks and he's real loving good at it. And if you used to have a dick? He'll smash it anyway. You will get nothing but pain if you hire him.
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Apr 13, 2019 20:26
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why is this a mini vote we must smash all dicks
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Apr 13, 2019 21:20
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Jett Black, gotta sound our best
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Apr 13, 2019 21:38
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I want Hardwire, just because I want some weird mekanisms- uh, mechanisms.
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Apr 13, 2019 21:44
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1. . Good synergy with our mathmetal skills. Also we need more people around who aren't horndog rockerboys.
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Apr 13, 2019 22:11
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2. A driver in the business as long as they have doesn't just drive, they know quite a bit about where they're going. Which, frankly, is bound to be more about potential destinations than we know. Venues, pubs, mechanics, what-have-you.
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Apr 13, 2019 22:13
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1
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Apr 13, 2019 23:00
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*Laces fingers together*. So Mr. Dicksmasher, where do you see yourself in five years? ITS GOOD THAT YOU ASK THAT. I HAVE A FIVE YEAR PLAN AND THAT PLAN ONLY INVOLVES SMASHING DICKS.
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Apr 14, 2019 01:12
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I mean skeletons and vampires are great pairs because they don't compete for resources 
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Apr 14, 2019 01:21
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Deadmeat5150 posted:5) Voting 5, going hog wild.
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Apr 14, 2019 01:27
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Can't believe how many wrongvoters there are in this thread 5
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Apr 14, 2019 01:31
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I'm going to leave this up for a few days just in case someone doesn't want to punch dicks.
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Apr 14, 2019 05:28
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Deadmeat5150 posted:I'm going to leave this up for a few days just in case someone doesn't want to punch dicks. Look, I'm sure that Dicksmasher is a sensitive soul. I bet he listens to poetry readings while drinking free trade coffee and while everyone is snapping their fingers after someone finishes their set he smashes the poet's dick in appreciation. Then while the man clutches his groin D.S. mounts the stage and reads off a haiku. Now I clench my fist It is filled with a purpose Another dick smashed Our friend Dicksmasher is a man of culture. Back in the day he'd just punch a dude in the dick, but that gets old. He's doing some serious, cutting edge, avant garde art pieces that just so happen to smash someone's dick at the end. I mean it always ends in a smashed dick, but Dicksmasher is about the journey, not the destination. He does smash dicks, but he's so much more than that you see. 
Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 07:46 on Apr 14, 2019 |
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Apr 14, 2019 07:44
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I think you're reading too much into a man who loves his dicksmashing.
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Apr 14, 2019 08:20
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Deadmeat5150 posted:I think you're reading too much into a man who loves his dicksmashing. That's up to you. 
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Apr 14, 2019 14:42
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I'd just like to pop in and say that I approve of all these choices.
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Apr 14, 2019 16:09
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Any of these choices is a good choice My head says I should vote for Gundarr, because Gundarians are awesome But my heart knows there can be only one winner and that winner is gonna be Dicksmasher EDIT: Besides, Moana is the one member of our group who won't get smashed by him so we'll get to know him as, like, a person
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Apr 14, 2019 17:42
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Update is being worked on. Deadmeat5150 fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Apr 16, 2019 |
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Apr 16, 2019 08:11
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quote:Do you give Ghengal enough time to figure out how to open a pocket big enough to store the toilet? quote:You have the map tablet. Where do you go first? Although it takes a couple more hours, you decide to give Ghengal enough time to figure out how to cram a toilet into his pocket. By the time he’s finished, you’ve all had more to drink and chat about your situation. Maxx snores while you and Jayk hash out some details.  “Ok so if this place is like the movies and poo poo, that might mean our instruments are like literal weapons.” “See normally I’d agree with you there, but honestly I think it’s going to be us as a band that really sees damage done.” “But what if you get like a keytar that shoots rainbows and laser and poo poo?” “I’d sooner cut my hand off than touch a keytar, but I do get your point. We can always find a music shop and just ask.” “Exactly, it’s not like we’re really on a time crunch here. What’s the worst that going to happen? We get to see what the instruments are like?”After Ghengal manages to fit the toilet you all leave. Once on the street you decide to just ask someone where to find the nearest music shop. The local that you’ve chosen to ask unfortunately has a glazed look in his eye that you’ve seen all too often. It takes a few for your question, asked several times, to filter through the haze of drugs and whatever other chemicals might that might be floating around in his mind. Eventually he points up the streets and grunts a few instructions about how to get somewhere. Without bothering to thank him, you all just take off. It takes some dodging of traffic and the knocking of more than one drug-addled moron out of your way, but eventually you see a red neon sign arrow pointing to a green neon guitar. Must be the place. The door opens with a dingle of a little bell and the four of you stand in awe. Guitars, basses, drums, and whatever other instrument you see is everywhere and they all look amazing. At first you think some of them have to be props, I mean who would put an actual blade on their bass, but then you remember where you are. Then there are the stranger things, like what looks like an entire amp stack meant to be worn as a backpack and a drum set with wheels. There’s even a keytar with a sign above it proudly proclaiming “Now with rainbow laser action!” You smack Jayk in the shoulder and point but he refuses to look.  “Holy tapdancing christ on a cracker, I think I’m in heaven.” “Guess that makes me your angel.”The voice comes from behind you and makes you jump. Whipping around you find a young woman in a fairly stereotypical wardrobe of most rockergirls you see. And of course it’s all black other than her midriff baring shirt. Curiously her skin is extremely pale, as if she hasn’t seen the sun in a long time.  “Yup, definitely heaven.” “Alright, Romeo, settle down. Name’s Jett, this is my store. What do you guys need?” “We’re pretty new around here and hoping you can help…” “Do you have a microphone that can turn my voice into a weapon?!” Maxx excitedly interrupts. “... Damnit, I’m so sorr…” “Yes.” “...y for him wait really?” “gently caress yes!”Maxx dashes further into the store. “Well ok that answer that question. Instruments in this world really are weapons.” “This world? Huh? Who handed you that load of horseshit? The gently caress are you talking about?” “The Megadevil kind of brought us here from another world and now we have a mission and it might be dangerous so we need protection.” “Megadevil? Yeah ok, that makes sense I guess. That guy is kind of an rear end in a top hat.”  ”Hey gently caress you, I heard that!” “I get what you’re asking now. Yeah without some serious skills or powers or some poo poo you can’t play your music like that. Blondie over there gets his wish because it’s really just a megaphone duct taped to a karaoke mic. But no, you aren’t going to be able to melt faces with a sick solo or shoot lightning out of it or anything like that. Unless you’re a wizard. That’s totally different. Are any of you wizards? Anyway doesn’t matter. Now individually, you can’t do that. As a band, way different story. A good band can play music that makes the angels themselves weep and bring back the dead to party with you. It’s all about how you play. But you aren’t going to have time to just put on a drat show wherever you are, so you are going to need some protection and poo poo. I’ve got some stuff like that,” she points to a guitar/flamethrower combo on the wall, “but it’s mostly gimmicky poo poo. You’re going to want an actual sword or axe or gun or something out there.” “Yeah… none of us know anything about that poo poo. There wasn’t any sword swinging or anything except by those reenactors that hung out at the park. “Not a problem, actually. I can give you the name of a guy to get a nanolearner from. It’ll give you some basics and then you can get a real teacher.”Do you take her up on her offer? 1) Yes 2) No And what do you want to buy in the store? Write in what you want Moana to look for in the store. I’ll roll to see if Jett has it or not. Mind you, the guys may be getting their own poo poo and you can go ahead and drop suggestions for them too.
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Apr 16, 2019 08:25
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1 Is phoenix down a thing here? Or like healing potions?
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Apr 16, 2019 10:19
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There are plenty of substances that can make you feel very good.
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Apr 16, 2019 10:42
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Um... we ended up here by actually melting the flesh off our bones at our last concert. You can check with mister big red sunglasses indoors all the time. Is the Brown Note a thing? Is there an equivalent but with blood or internal organs or whatever? Can we get a tiny homunculus to sit on our shoulder and play our ribs like a xylophone? Pineapple on pizza. Sin or win? Do you have a Segway type thing but it's like a creepy bone spider or something so it's actually Metal?
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Apr 16, 2019 15:34
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Take her up on her offer! Is there like a selection of awesome basses? Something to rattle teeth and shake the earth?
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Apr 16, 2019 15:48
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definitely take her up on her offer, and ask all the questions
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Apr 16, 2019 22:35
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You got a sweet katana? Pistols? Something mathematical?
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Apr 16, 2019 22:53
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Take her up on her offer, and then ask if she knows anyone who can teach us to be a wizard. When she says no, get a slingshot. Slingshots plus sick math skills should equal awesomeness.
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Apr 17, 2019 03:58
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"Um... we ended up here by actually melting the flesh off our bones at our last concert. You can check with mister big red sunglasses indoors all the time." "Yeah, exactly my point. You played as a band, which gives you power, at a venue, which gives you even more power." "Is the Brown Note a thing? Is there an equivalent but with blood or internal organs or whatever?" "Of course you would ask that." "For gently caress's sake, no. God, why do I always get asked that?" "Can we get a tiny homunculus to sit on our shoulder and play our ribs like a xylophone?" "Probably? gently caress I don't know. I sure as poo poo don't carry one. Also it would sound like poo poo, bones make terrible instruments. Unless you make a whistle." "Pineapple on pizza. Sin or win?" "Sin. Hands down." "Do you have a Segway type thing but it's like a creepy bone spider or something so it's actually Metal?" "Is there like a selection of awesome basses? Something to rattle teeth and shake the earth?" "Yeah, the Gravestone K900 Earthcracker. It's a fuckin' radical piece of hardware but I don't have one. drat near impossible to get your hands on it. I think Gravestone only made like three." "You got a sweet katana? Pistols? Something mathematical?" "I've got a theremin somewhere in the back. Instrument of choice for nerds. I makes cool woowoo sounds but it's a bitch to play without steady hands and a decent knowledge of science." "Oh well... know anyone who can teach us to be a wizard?" "There's this robowizard dude that hangs out at the Triple Rock sometimes, but I don't know if he can teach anyone."
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Apr 17, 2019 07:45
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Chainsaw launcher?
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Apr 17, 2019 16:09
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This is gonna stay open a couple more days while you guys decide on stuff. Don't forget I hang out on the Discord and we have our own channel.
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Apr 18, 2019 07:24
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On the subject of Discord, METAL WORLD's Discord link is here.
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Apr 19, 2019 01:12
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quote:Do you take her up on her offer? “Awesome, I’ll call ahead. He’ll also be able to hook you up with some other gear and poo poo. Great guy.”In the end, nobody actually want to buy anything. Your bass was already the best instrument you’d ever own and everything else was so gimmicky it would have been too over the top even for you. Maxx was upset once he realized that his idea for a microphone weapon didn’t actually do anything and Ghengal in the end couldn’t decide on anything. Jayk was about to get a guitar that fired bolts of lightning but the pricetag was way more than you had. If you wanted something that cool you were going to have to work to make up the money. Jett was as good as her word and with a final “Get lost,” she saw you out with directions on how to get to the officer of the fixer who was going to hook you up. She also suggested you get a cab since the trip was clear across town. It was a good call, since the cab ride involved being locked in a small yellow box with a driver who smelled of old patchouli and whose eyes looked off in two different directions.  “Here you go, ladles and jellyspoons. 47 RAWKON Ave, just as promised.”You pay the cabbie and pile out onto the street. This part of Paradise City is obvious more upscale but that seems to include a great deal more neon and bright lights. Also more shininess. Even the sidewalks gleam. The building you find yourself in front of would be welcome as a modern skyscraper in any first world country back on Earth. Lots of glass and lights. Inside the place is definitely just an office building, only with the inhabitants of Glamm in charge. In several places you can see where work had just been abandoned, probably some time ago, but nobody ever came to collect the tools and equipment. A security guard in a gray uniform is sitting on the floor giggling to himself and a janitor in coveralls is busy sweeping the floor with a broomstick, minus the broom. An enormous wooden greeting desk is being headed by a pretty young lady with pink spike and a frightfully blank expression on her face. She is staring at an old computer monitor. Young and dumb, prime Ghengal bait. Sure enough, your drummer breaks off and leans against the counter. “Hey there, pretty lady. Maybe you could help us out.” You were always surprised at how often his cheesy pickup lines and generally sleazy manner actually worked. This time, however, the girl didn’t respond. “Uh… Hey there, pretty lady. Maybe you could help us out.” Nothing. Ghengal looks at you and shakes his head.Rolling your eyes, you walk over and tap the girl on her head. It takes a few seconds, but eventually something filters through her mush and she looks up at you.  “Yeah?” “Hi, yeah, we were told to meet a guy about…” “Penthouse.” She responds with a dull voice then goes back to staring at her screen. That’s when you realize that the monitor is powered off. The sooner you get away from the drug addled oddballs the better. You’ve definitely been more hosed up than these people are, but only when you weren’t in the middle of poo poo. Ok, mostly… sometimes when you weren’t in the middle of poo poo. After all, you’ve got a duffle bag full of high quality cocaine and you have yet to dive in.Either way, the elevator ride up to the is uneventful, other than some rather interesting muzak. The doors open to what appears to be a rather severe and stark waiting room. Other than a pair of massive doors at the far end, the only other furniture is a wide banker’s desk seated at which is a shrunken old woman. Her face has seen more years than you care to think and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses hang around her neck on a gold chain. She is busy typing away at a very old typewriter. It’s when she looks up at you that you feel the icy chill of death run up your spine. The elevator doors close. “Holy poo poo, that was terrifying.” “No kidding, that was the loving gaze of death if I ever saw one. Ghengal, you’re good with ladies, go talk to her.” “gently caress that noise! She’d probably want me to clean the cobwebs out of those rafters and that’s a big hell no from me.” “God you’re such a loving prick. She’s just some old secretary, I’ll go talk to her.”You reach out and open the doors. As they slide open you see that her gaze has not wavered and she seems to be staring into your soul. With a gulp from a throat you no longer have, you slowly walk forward. The others shuffle behind you in a group, like a bad Scooby Doo episode. “Um… we’re here to se…” “I know exactly who you’re here to see but you’re going to wait. The Boss is out for his evening run. So stand there and be silent.”Some primal instinct tells you to just nod then stand back. Time seems to drag by with the only sound being the clicking and light *ching* of the typewriter. After what you guess is an hour or so you decide to try and speak up. “Is th…” “I said be quiet!”Again you feel compelled to obey. It’s funny, that in a society bent on such hedonism you find the one person who seems to be this strict. It’s as though the universe were balancing things out, that taken the all frivolity in the area there had to be a single point of control. Something that demanded obedience and got it every time. You decide that that’s pretty loving metal. Finally after some more time drags by, the elevator dings. The doors slowly open to reveal a powerfully built man framed by an extremely bright yellow light. You get the feeling he had that light installed just for this sort of thing. Other than the sword belted at his waste, he appears to be wearing only a ragged loincloth. Is this really the fixer?  No vote at this time, unless you want to pre-load some questions
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Apr 20, 2019 09:18
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"bet his name's Bonan"
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Apr 23, 2019 05:38
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I appreciate when a barbarian doesn't skip leg day.
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Apr 23, 2019 05:57
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 I want every line he says to be heard in Patrick Warburton’s voice.  “Evening Helga, I’m back from my run. Who’s this?” “These are the people Ms. Jett sent over, sir. You’re supposed to give them the Number 15.” “Oh, right, yeah, the ol’ Number 15. Gotcha. Follow me inside.”The statuesque man pads over to the double doors on bare feet and throws them open. You all follow after a handful of looks at the old woman to make sure it’s ok. Inside the office is massive but really doesn’t look anything different from any other well-to-do lawyer or politician. The walls are lined with built-in shelving housing leather bound books as well as various knick knacks. There’s a decent size wet bar, a coffee table in the middle with a couple of couches, and a thick mahogany desk at the far end. One entire wall is a window, giving an amazing view of the city. “I just finished my evening workout so you’ll have to excuse me while I change. Take a seat.” You all sit at the comfortable looking armchairs that sit in a semicircle around your side of the desk. He goes over to a hatrack on in the corner and grabs a red power tie. After throwing it on and tying it expertly, he comes back over. “There. Much better. Now we can do business. Let me start by introducing myself. My name is David Stephenson Mascher and I’m a finder, or a fixer if you prefer. Clients hire me to do one of two things, I either find something for them, or I take care of their business. Which relates to my nickname, DS. You can call me DS.” “DS? Well yeah, I mean you got them DSLs, but so do a lot of people. They don’t go around naming themselves that though.”Ghengal looks around for approval at his joke. You can’t help but placed your head in yours hands and groan. “Why are you such an idiot?”But DS throws his head back and laughs. “Hah! Good one. Yeah. But no, that’s not it at all. Why don’t you stand up over next to the desk and I’ll show you. It’s a pretty good show, I promise.” “Alright, but I’m not taking my pants off.”Ghengal gets up and moves next to the desk. DS stands next to him and places a hand on his shoulder, which really highlights the size difference between them. Without any warning the big man suddenly slams a hand the size of a large ham into your drummer’s crotch. There’s a sickening crunch followed by a kind of sucking pop sound. Ghengal’s jaw drops open then falls to the floor, while the pinpricks of light that are now his eyes roll up into his skull. With a groan that represents infinite levels of pain, he slowly sinks to the ground clutching at what used to be his pride and joy. “Yeah… DS stands for Dicksmasher. Which I’m pretty drat good at.”Your other two bandmates have crossed their legs instinctively and Jayk’s bones have a slight green tinge to them. “But… he’s a skeleton now. He doesn’t have a dick.” “You’re right. Technically I smashed his metaphysical dick, the ethereal representation of the dick he once had. It’s just as painful though. All you skeletons have that kind of thing. Why do you think food and beer and stuff don’t fall out of your skull? Metaphysical digestive system. It’s basic metabiology.” “I didn’t even know that was a thing.” “Oh yeah, big time. Well not really. But you know what I mean. Anyway, the reason you’re here.”He reaches into his desk and takes out four thin silver tubes, each with a half inch needle on the end. “So these babies are what you’re here for. Nanolearners. They’ve already been preloaded with the basics of melee weapons, ranged weapons, that sort of thing. And since Jett mentioned you’ve been brought here by the MegaDouchebag… “Goddamnit!” “... I went ahead and put some basic geography stuff in there too. None of it is too advanced, but it’s enough to get you buy and give you a bunch of stuff to build off of.” “Ok, that’s pretty loving cool. Seriously.” “Oh yeah, it really is. Anyway, payment. These things aren’t cheap you know.” “Well… We’ve got about a million in cash and a few kilos of cocaine.” “Oh, sweety, yeah no. That paltry sum isn’t going to cut it for these. They had to be smuggled out of Cold Steel Harbor in the anus of a rocket cowboy who rode nonstop from there to here on his megaraptor. No, I need you to do something for me. Well, technically, it’s for another client of mine. Seems he hired some other numbskull to gather a group but dude couldn’t hack it. So he called me.” “Uuuuuuugggggggghhhhhh…” “Oh he’s making noise already. That a good sign.” “So who’s the client?” “Dude! You never ask who the client is from the Johnson. That’s like running the shadows 101.” “God you’re a nerd. I mean, I’m kind of a nerd too, since I understood you, but only because you’ve been talking about that poo poo forever.” “Nah, it’s cool. He’s a new client anyway. His name’s Nouwght A. Draguunn, some rich guy in Motorhead.” “Is he a dragon?” “Pretty sure he’s not, why?” “Sounds like the name a dragon might have.” “But his name sound kind of like Not A Dragon, so he’s probably not one.” “Sounds like what a dragon might call himself when he doesn’t want you to know he’s a dragon. Did you meet him?” “Oh yeah, of course. Even though he was wearing that huge trenchcoat and sunglasses and smelled like old eggs and cinders, pretty sure he wasn’t a dragon.” “That’s pretty loving dragon-y, dude.” “Whatever! Doesn’t matter! gently caress! What do we need to do?” “Right, what you need to do. Well you’re going to be heading to Dungeonia, the dungeon continent. And there, of course, you’re going to find a certain dungeon and go retrieve the artifact inside. Then deliver it to Mr. Draguunn in Motorhead.” “Is it a powerful magic artifact?” “Most certainly.” “Great. We’re going to deliver a powerful magic artifact to a guy who is almost certain to be a dragon. This is going to end well.” “How are we going to get there?” “I’ve got a chopper that’s going to take you to the south harbor. You’ll need to find your own way across. Once you’re there, you’ll be able to buy your own equipment and hire a guide.” “Why do we need a guide?” “Do you know anything about dungeoneering?” “Yes!” “Shut up, nerd, no you don’t. The dungeons of Dungeonia are all unique, but they tend to have enough similar things to them that an experienced guide can help. They’ll also be able to take you to the dungeon in question.” “Does it have a name?” “A name?” “All the best dungeons have a name.” “It’s something like ‘The Horrifying Temple of Untold Elder Things From Beyond the Stars Who Wish To Do Vicious Terrible Things To You’. Or something like that.” “That doesn’t sound like a fun time.” ”Oh god, am I dead? Please say I’m dead.” “Yeah they all get names like that. Anyway… I’ve got two type of injectors here, melee and ranged. Who wants what?”Decision time! Who is going to get what kind of combat skill? You have two melee and two ranged. One of the melee is for a weapon and a shield, and the other is for two-handed weapons. One of the ranged is for ancient weapons, and the other is for modern weapons. Choose! Weapon + Board: Greatweapon: Bows: Firearms: If you have any questions for him, now's the time to ask. Deadmeat5150 fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Apr 24, 2019 |
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Apr 24, 2019 03:45
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